jerseyman1963
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2005
- Posts
- 366
From my perspective, the question is not "Why are men..." or "Why are women..." this way, that way or the other way. The question is, why are people in general such assholes? When talking about dating, we just naturally frame the question in terms of why are so many of the people I've dated been assholes? But the answer to that one is easy: because not everyone has their shit together.
When it comes to finding a compatible partner, it's hard to find someone on your wavelength. It's kind of liking shopping for clothes. You try on a shirt in the store. Some don't fit at all and you put them back on the rack. Some fit, and you pick them up. Some of the ones you pick up you wear a few times and then never again; some of those fit nicely and you wear them frequently; some of them fit nicely for a time and then you out grow them; but some of those fit really, really well and become favorite, treasured articles of clothing that you wear all the time, even past the point of being threadbare and out of style.
With time and some insight you start to develop a sense of what works for you and what doesn't, and you don't try on so many clothes just to find the one or ones you like. Unless of course you have no insight into yourself.
Dating (or sex or whatever) is a lot like that. You try someone on, maybe they fit at first, maybe they don't. Maybe they last a while longer, maybe they don't. But you have to put them on and wear them to find out, and it's rare to find someone that fits so well you want to keep them around a long time as a friend or a lover or a permanent partner, but that's what makes it so special when it happens.
But the search can be frustrating, and along the way it's easy to forget how hard it is to match up with someone, and then you start wondering why so many men/women are assholes, and it's important to keep in mind, at least IMHCO (in my humble cynical opinion) that most people in general don't have their shit together.
When it comes to finding a compatible partner, it's hard to find someone on your wavelength. It's kind of liking shopping for clothes. You try on a shirt in the store. Some don't fit at all and you put them back on the rack. Some fit, and you pick them up. Some of the ones you pick up you wear a few times and then never again; some of those fit nicely and you wear them frequently; some of them fit nicely for a time and then you out grow them; but some of those fit really, really well and become favorite, treasured articles of clothing that you wear all the time, even past the point of being threadbare and out of style.
With time and some insight you start to develop a sense of what works for you and what doesn't, and you don't try on so many clothes just to find the one or ones you like. Unless of course you have no insight into yourself.
Dating (or sex or whatever) is a lot like that. You try someone on, maybe they fit at first, maybe they don't. Maybe they last a while longer, maybe they don't. But you have to put them on and wear them to find out, and it's rare to find someone that fits so well you want to keep them around a long time as a friend or a lover or a permanent partner, but that's what makes it so special when it happens.
But the search can be frustrating, and along the way it's easy to forget how hard it is to match up with someone, and then you start wondering why so many men/women are assholes, and it's important to keep in mind, at least IMHCO (in my humble cynical opinion) that most people in general don't have their shit together.
