Question for the ladies -- involving cross-dressing men

[Dyslexicea]

So, you're saying if it's gender-dysmorphia you're ok with it but if it's not you wouldn't even be their friend? For me, as with someone born in the wrong body, I didn't choose this. I don't know where it came from, but just because it's sexual it's no less valid a state of being. I can understand it precluding a romantic involvement if that's not your thing, but precluding even a friendship with the person? Really? Is it so offensive to you?

To flat out say I wouldn't be friends with a person like you who uses feminine dress as a turn on isn't what I meant. It would be a factor but friendship is based on many other aspect of a person's personality but if that person is obsessed with that part of their life I'd have to admit I'd find it hard to be their friend.

Maybe it has to do with how I actually rate sex as part of my life. I love sex but it's doesn't rank near the top of what I find important in life.

 

[stickygirl]

I love sex but it's doesn't rank near the top of what I find important in life.

Amen to that

 

[blade_rocknut]

To flat out say I wouldn't be friends with a person like you who uses feminine dress as a turn on isn't what I meant. It would be a factor but friendship is based on many other aspect of a person's personality but if that person is obsessed with that part of their life I'd have to admit I'd find it hard to be their friend.

Maybe it has to do with how I actually rate sex as part of my life. I love sex but it's doesn't rank near the top of what I find important in life.

Even as a self proclaimed crossdresser, I have reservations about friendship with those who sexually fetishize the act... or the clothes. I lack commonality with them. The leagues of CD's into humiliation/ sissification, etc; I similarly feel distanced from.

Of course, generalizations (even about subgroups) suck; but interactions I have with folks in these groups seem to lack the grasp that I'm not *them*, just because I like a skirt on my shaven legs. Here's the thing- this is part of me; not the nexus of my being. I need to be able to talk about other things with friends!

 

[Dyslexicea]

Even as a self proclaimed crossdresser, I have reservations about friendship with those who sexually fetishize the act... or the clothes. I lack commonality with them. The leagues of CD's into humiliation/ sissification, etc; I similarly feel distanced from.

Of course, generalizations (even about subgroups) suck; but interactions I have with folks in these groups seem to lack the grasp that I'm not *them*, just because I like a skirt on my shaven legs. Here's the thing- this is part of me; not the nexus of my being. I need to be able to talk about other things with friends!

As you most likely know in my community dress is used to express parts of our nature, my nature being more feminine means I tend to dress in clothing society believes to be designed for women. I happen to be married to a stud so her clothing tends to be more masculine, although at times she does wear feminine clothing. (she's hot no matter how she dresses) None of us thinks of it as unusual nor would we ever call it cross dressing. It's to bad it can't be so for all of society.

 

[stickygirl]

Even as a self proclaimed crossdresser, I have reservations about friendship with those who sexually fetishize the act... or the clothes. I lack commonality with them. The leagues of CD's into humiliation/ sissification, etc; I similarly feel distanced from.

Of course, generalizations (even about subgroups) suck; but interactions I have with folks in these groups seem to lack the grasp that I'm not *them*, just because I like a skirt on my shaven legs. Here's the thing- this is part of me; not the nexus of my being. I need to be able to talk about other things with friends!

More Amens! You mean those people for whom the clothing is the focus of the sexuality and presumably can shed that persona as easily as the clothes? ... almost like a uniform? I think there's a lot of that on Lit. Initially I was quite offended by some of those postings, which shows how old-fashioned I am at heart , but I've come to accept it now.
For you it sounds as though the clothes make you comfortable in other ways, as well as erotic feelings? I bet you have great taste as well
I dress in women's clothing because it fits better; there's a much wider choice of styles that allow me to express who I am and enjoy wearing it... and it's practical. If I happen to get horny it is almost nothing to do with the clothing.

 

[blade_rocknut]

More Amens! You mean those people for whom the clothing is the focus of the sexuality and presumably can shed that persona as easily as the clothes? ... almost like a uniform? I think there's a lot of that on Lit. Initially I was quite offended by some of those postings, which shows how old-fashioned I am at heart , but I've come to accept it now.
For you it sounds as though the clothes make you comfortable in other ways, as well as erotic feelings? I bet you have great taste as well
I dress in women's clothing because it fits better; there's a much wider choice of styles that allow me to express who I am and enjoy wearing it... and it's practical. If I happen to get horny it is almost nothing to do with the clothing.

Yeah, I've evolved a lot. As a teen, there was so much free testosterone that any thought of dressing ; or maybe it was the proximity of girl parts to those clothes... yeah. It was insanely sexual. That calmed in 30's enough for me to really ponder why the hell I couldn't shake the recurring desire to be girly. Now, it's an indescribable pleasure. Not a high, so much as a calm. Yes, under some circumstances, eroticism can sneak in, but I revel in the pleasure derived from escaping into an unclaimed identity.

Sharing pictures with adoring women is huge also, and teetering on that line between feminine and masculine. Not androgynous...no; I want to be either sexy as a woman or sexy as a man.

 

[StacyTG]

I think you hit the nail on the head. It's a calm. For me, it's not about sexual stimulation. It's about expressing myself freely without the constructs of what society dictates. I love walking around the house in heels and a skirt, but also in plain white panties and a nightgown.

For me, there's a peace that comes with it. A way to express physically what is in my heart and my mind. Plus the fact that womens' clothing is much more colorful, and vibrant, and...alive.