Questions About Feedback

[twelveoone]

I have to give the props out to twelveoone. I've known this guy a long time but I'm finding his feedback especially helpful to me these days. He said something to me the other day about Latinate derived versus Anglo-Saxon derived words, and that Latinate words, being more lush and indirect (I guess because of the effect of the subjunctive) give a different kind of effect in a poem than their Anglo counterparts, which are more crisp and direct.

I've never thought about something like that in relation to my poems but I am alot now-- things like lineation and syntax and word derivations-- because I'm seeing that you can do things by intentionally manipulating them or not. They are as much (or should be) a part of a poet's toolkit as rhyme and image and metaphor.

Maybe some poets here (like jthserra and Senna Jawa and a few others I know of) take these things into account when they write, but not many do imo. And I feel like considering all this is helping me know why a word is the right word. Usually I know it is but couldn't tell you why.

So thank you to 1201 and my many teachers here.

Good then you won't mind if I steal a little trick I learned from you;
Crows glide up from the earth
and speak from empty eyes.
this is pretty standard from the earth uuS, crow takes off.
Version A "the" removed, crow, well doesn't take off, no big deal

A. Crows glide up from earth
and speak from empty eyes.

B. Crows glide up from the earth
and speak from empty eyes.

But I distinctly heard a difference in the word "speak" between the two versions.

after a left a comment on Chagall's Bride I had to go back, because I thought the damn bird had come out of the painting and screeched at me.

So, I'm stealing it, just letting you know. Thank you.
BTW, I keep telling people, you want to improve, read damn it. You do see things in other people's work.

 

[Angeline]

Good then you won't mind if I steal a little trick I learned from you;
Crows glide up from the earth
and speak from empty eyes.
this is pretty standard from the earth uuS, crow takes off.
Version A "the" removed, crow, well doesn't take off, no big deal

A. Crows glide up from earth
and speak from empty eyes.

B. Crows glide up from the earth
and speak from empty eyes.

But I distinctly heard a difference in the word "speak" between the two versions.

after a left a comment on Chagall's Bride I had to go back, because I thought the damn bird had come out of the painting and screeched at me.

So, I'm stealing it, just letting you know. Thank you.
BTW, I keep telling people, you want to improve, read damn it. You do see things in other people's work.

You're right. I just went back and looked at it. If you remove "the" before "earth" you don't get a stress until you reach "speak," so you read it (speak) more emphatically. Also, crows flying up from earth as soil, ground rather than the earth as a planet is a more logical image, to me.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

The problem, I have is I think if I put something down as a problem area; (a possible flaw) is it may be perceived as the poem is flawed by the next viewer.
An area that I have questions about.
The comments should serve two purposes (under ideal circumstances),
1. either helpful or recognition of the poem for the writer.
2. either helpful or recognition of value for the next viewer.

I thought I'd bring this up since I was highly critical of one of Angeline's poem. She is trying something new. The criticism was intended to address that part only.
I put a disclaimer at the top. Question is, how far do I have to go for the next viewer.
i.e How widely known do you think a if writer is noted for doing something well, that it no longer has to be commented on?

Sometimes I'm lazy or pressed for time, and check comments before really reading. Ideally, I prefer to read first and then move to comments. The page layout supports that approach, but also makes peeking at the comments early easy.

 

[vrosej10]

I have to give the props out to twelveoone. I've known this guy a long time but I'm finding his feedback especially helpful to me these days. He said something to me the other day about Latinate derived versus Anglo-Saxon derived words, and that Latinate words, being more lush and indirect (I guess because of the effect of the subjunctive) give a different kind of effect in a poem than their Anglo counterparts, which are more crisp and direct.

I've never thought about something like that in relation to my poems but I am alot now-- things like lineation and syntax and word derivations-- because I'm seeing that you can do things by intentionally manipulating them or not. They are as much (or should be) a part of a poet's toolkit as rhyme and image and metaphor.

Maybe some poets here (like jthserra and Senna Jawa and a few others I know of) take these things into account when they write, but not many do imo. And I feel like considering all this is helping me know why a word is the right word. Usually I know it is but couldn't tell you why.

So thank you to 1201 and my many teachers here.

At uni we're warned to avoid the latinate words if we can and be more direct with the anglo ones. This is hard for me because latinates are more natural to me in speech. I learnt to talk in an upper middle class household and the frequency of latinates in English increases relative to the socioeconomic position of the speaker.

 

[bronzeage]

At uni we're warned to avoid the latinate words if we can and be more direct with the anglo ones. This is hard for me because latinates are more natural to me in speech. I learnt to talk in an upper middle class household and the frequency of latinates in English increases relative to the socioeconomic position of the speaker.

Never say masticate when chew would do as well. Of course, chew does not rhyme with masturbate, so that is one strike against it.

 

[vrosej10]

Never say masticate when chew would do as well. Of course, chew does not rhyme with masturbate, so that is one strike against it.

That was the general idea and if you read my poetry, I go simple and clear over decorative and complex.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

Never say masticate when chew would do as well. Of course, chew does not rhyme with masturbate, so that is one strike against it.

But masticate doesn't rhyme with screw.

 

[twelveoone]

I'm not leavin' any, I'm promoting Deadassism this week.
Who will join me...never mind...I see some already have.

 

[butters]

Bump because I still don't know.

sorry, Tess, i missed this before:

when you are subbing, to have italics included you need to upload your poem from (i suggest) Word pad, and as an rtf (rich text format) file. you fill in the usual parts but then miss out the box you normally include the text in. beneath that there's a small box with a Browse button next to it. it's from there that you upload your file. when you click Browse, it'll take you into your computer to find your file - when you find it in your documents, just double click it and that puts it where it needs to be.

hit preview, and you'll get the message that the robots can't check this but it goes on to a 'real life' person who will. it takes a little longer than the normal way, but your file will be processed and posted with formatting intact (so it says ) then simply press Submit and you're done.

 

[butters]

I'm not leavin' any, I'm promoting Deadassism this week.
Who will join me...never mind...I see some already have.

gruntlegruntlegruntle

it's good you're highlighting this, though, twelveio - we don't want things slipping back to the way they were!

 

[bronzeage]

I'm not leavin' any, I'm promoting Deadassism this week.
Who will join me...never mind...I see some already have.

Did I tell you about the water meter shut off valve that broke in the on position?

It's been a long week.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

sorry, Tess, i missed this before:

when you are subbing, to have italics included you need to upload your poem from (i suggest) Word pad, and as an rtf (rich text format) file. you fill in the usual parts but then miss out the box you normally include the text in. beneath that there's a small box with a Browse button next to it. it's from there that you upload your file. when you click Browse, it'll take you into your computer to find your file - when you find it in your documents, just double click it and that puts it where it needs to be.

hit preview, and you'll get the message that the robots can't check this but it goes on to a 'real life' person who will. it takes a little longer than the normal way, but your file will be processed and posted with formatting intact (so it says ) then simply press Submit and you're done.

Thanks for this.

 

[twelveoone]

sorry, Tess, i missed this before:

when you are subbing, to have italics included you need to upload your poem from (i suggest) Word pad, and as an rtf (rich text format) file. you fill in the usual parts but then miss out the box you normally include the text in. beneath that there's a small box with a Browse button next to it. it's from there that you upload your file. when you click Browse, it'll take you into your computer to find your file - when you find it in your documents, just double click it and that puts it where it needs to be.

hit preview, and you'll get the message that the robots can't check this but it goes on to a 'real life' person who will. it takes a little longer than the normal way, but your file will be processed and posted with formatting intact (so it says ) then simply press Submit and you're done.

they will try... what can I say. DIY. I thought Lauren had posted something on this years ago, I think it made it's way to the special boxes. I could never figure out indent.

 

[Maria2394]

I have had no trouble including italics by using the < things with an i for italics or a b for bold.... if I put them both in a post here they will disappear....

 

[champagne1982]

I have had no trouble including italics by using the < things with an i for italics or a b for bold.... if I put them both in a post here they will disappear....

you mean... <i> </i> and <b> </b>? The encoding for html doesn't apply for vB, I thought.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

you mean... <i> </i> and <b> </b>? The encoding for html doesn't apply for vB, I thought.

It hasn't worked for me since the Lit up-dates.

 

[butters]

you mean... <i> </i> and <b> </b>? The encoding for html doesn't apply for vB, I thought.

It hasn't worked for me since the Lit up-dates.

this is what it says on the submissions form - and i do believe it has been changed in updates as Tess says:

If you choose to upload your poem, it should be uploaded as a plain text file with a file name ending in ".txt" if possible. If your story has bold or italics and you need to upload a Microsoft Word (.doc) or a Rich Text (.rtf) file, you can do so, but you cannot preview it online and it may take slightly longer to be posted because we must process .doc and .rtf files manually. If you have questions or concerns, please contact us and we'll be happy to help.

 

[champagne1982]

this is what it says on the submissions form - and i do believe it has been changed in updates as Tess says:

But I wasn't referring to html use in posting poems to the archives. i was just saying that you can use the symbols here on the forum since the html encoding doesn't work here. (at least mine doesn't according to the posting rules block at the bottom of this page). "posting rules"

that's all. I haven't posted a formatted poemie in ages so i have no idea what works or doesn't. All my old stuff still does though.

 

[twelveoone]

But I wasn't referring to html use in posting poems to the archives. i was just saying that you can use the symbols here on the forum since the html encoding doesn't work here. (at least mine doesn't according to the posting rules block at the bottom of this page). "posting rules"

that's all. I haven't posted a formatted poemie in ages so i have no idea what works or doesn't. All my old stuff still does though.

I think it still works, I have italics in one of mine.
You know I think I wrote on here, copied that and pasted it there once.

I wonder how fancy you can get?​

 

[champagne1982]

HA! [glow]is this gonna work?[/glow]

dammit.. gonna look at the faq

HA! HA!

now it works

 

[twelveoone]

HA! [glow]is this gonna work?[/glow]

dammit.. gonna look at the faq

HA! HA!

now it works

look forward to it, I'll probably leave a lame comment, maybe just punctuation, probably a 5 get blasted for it. Almost like the old days, except I was getting blasted for disagreeing with certain factions. I love it. The middle

 

[Maria2394]

you mean... <i> </i> and <b> </b>? The encoding for html doesn't apply for vB, I thought.

Hey Champ!!

Hugs, so good to see you.


I used those , is that called html? I am sorta stupid about things like that, but that is how I made the italics on the dedication at the bottom of February's Fear.

I probably wouldn't be able to figure out how to submit a poem if I had to do it any other way.

I saw a thread that seemed like you had posted instructions for illustrated poems and I tried it once, a long time ago and it came out all wrong. So I might give it a try with your thread.

 

[Maria2394]

this is what it says on the submissions form - and i do believe it has been changed in updates as Tess says:

I do believe that is what it says, even if I don't understand it, but I did use the <i> </i> when I submitted my poem. I have always done my italics that way and have had no problem since I began submitting again. I did not even know there had been updates.

LOL, now that I know, it probably won't work for me anymore.

 

[butters]

But I wasn't referring to html use in posting poems to the archives. i was just saying that you can use the symbols here on the forum since the html encoding doesn't work here. (at least mine doesn't according to the posting rules block at the bottom of this page). "posting rules"

that's all. I haven't posted a formatted poemie in ages so i have no idea what works or doesn't. All my old stuff still does though.

i beg your pudding, champers

isn't it easier to have the advanced box up when posting replies then simply click on the italicising icon?

it's morning - perhaps i'm being thick.... i have to get to work anyway. nice to see you dropping in!

 

[champagne1982]

i beg your pudding, champers

isn't it easier to have the advanced box up when posting replies then simply click on the italicising icon?

it's morning - perhaps i'm being thick.... i have to get to work anyway. nice to see you dropping in!

I am a keyboard short cut user. The fewer times I need to take my hands away to touch a mouse or even the numeric keypad the happier I am.

And hi darlin' Maria. Good to see you! I'm livin' life out at 40 below around here. Nearly finished school (thank goodness) then it's on to working for a living.. <boo=on></hiss off> lol