Receiving cunnilingus - yay or nay?

[Boundlife]

So, why are many women reluctant to be open to men about how they would like to be eaten? Are men that negative about wanting to know what their partners like? It's a shame that sex is an area where there is such lack of communication because of embarrassment. If men can't learn from "porn" (is lesbian porn better?) and women are afraid to tell them, then it's a sexual gridlock.

So, again I ask, how do we learn? How do we teach? How do we do it with sensitivity and compassion and lack of embarrassment or judgement?

The biggest problem from learning how to preform oral sex on a woman from porn is they aren't actually doing it. They are preforming for the camera. It's like stage fighting. I bet those silly tongue flicks don't even make contact half the time. But seeing the back of a head isn't an interesting shot.

How to learn is too complicated for me, but it would be great if young people knew that they knew nothing pratical about sex and that was OK and normal.

 

[amofiga]

It's mostly a cultural thing. Women, well, people in general, but women especially are taught that sex is to be hidden, kept under the covers and not discussed publicly. We've always been taught that it's slutty and bad to even think about sex, or to engage in it unless we've just gotten married, in which case it becomes this magical, all wonderful experience that will commit us to our husbands for all eternity. And then there are all of these body and self esteem issues that women have to deal with.

All of that combines to make most women afraid of their own genitals (MrsMellowCake above I believe even admitted she was self conscious about hers, for example), afraid of their own sexuality even. So all of this kind of combines to make women uncomfortable even broaching the subject. This is one of those subjects you could write a book on, really, but that gives you a taste of some of the things behind it. It's hard to get some people over this to the point where they can open up and tell that guy (other woman) to suck on it, bite it lightly, lick it....you get the idea.

Yes, I've known people (mostly women but also some men) who are quite inhibited about human sexuality. Many times they also become quite judgemental about those who don't share their views. It seems to be women who have the most negative opinions of their own bodies, probably fostered by many different aspects of their upbringing. It can make them quite self conscious and can't relax enough to enjoy receiving oral sex. It could also be that they feel pressured because they are supposed to love it and expected fly off into waves of orgasm just because some man (woman) does it. Unfortunate. I think many men do find joy in pleasuring a woman that way and all aren't necessarily too "arrogant" or too egotistical to want to learn to be good at it. It would be nice if men and women tried to learn from each other, and not assume that they know everything or give up in frustration.

 

[jrwams]

If I might add my male perspective! I absolutely love to perform oral sex on my wife. I love the softness and warmth that I can feel on my tongue. My wife says it almost feels like I am making out with her pussy. I love to take my time and explore the entire pussy with my tongue.

 

[sunandshadow]

Although I think vaginas look bizarre, I would only object if my partner thought mine looked bizarre, otherwise I don't care. The main reason I'm not extremely fond of cunnilingus is that I don't get that great feel of a guy's body laying on mine, and also I always want my nipples played with, it is difficult for a guy to do that when his head's between my legs, lol.

 

[HeyItsDani]

It would be nice if men and women tried to learn from each other, and not assume that they know everything or give up in frustration.

Agreed.

 

[HeyItsDani]

My wife says it almost feels like I am making out with her pussy.

Haha. That's an interesting way to look at it.

 

[sereneone4u]

Although I think vaginas look bizarre, I would only object if my partner thought mine looked bizarre, otherwise I don't care. The main reason I'm not extremely fond of cunnilingus is that I don't get that great feel of a guy's body laying on mine, and also I always want my nipples played with, it is difficult for a guy to do that when his head's between my legs, lol.

How short are the guys' arms that you let go down on you? *giggling*

I mean, I am 5'8 and I have never had a man have a problem playing with my breasts while he gave me cunnilingus...unless my feet were on his shoulders and I was grinding my pussy into this face and pulling the hell out of his hair....

 

[Pervy_Sage]

I don't know that I'd say less willing so much as they let their ego get in the way, which is not an unnatural response. Some of them, if you tell them they're not doing something the way you need it, are gonna have issues with it to be sure. The corollary to what I said about being willing to tell your partner what you want/need is being receptive to your partner telling you what they want/need.

Most people (guys and girls) learn how to eat pussy from watching porn, and with relatively few exceptions, the only reason people even eat pussy in non-lesbian porn is so they can show that "they really do care if the woman gets hers." Even professional lez porn isn't really good at showing the right way to eat pussy, IMO (amateur stuff is in a lot of cases).

Personally, I find it a lot easier to teach another woman how to go down on me than a guy. With a guy I'm always concerned about that ego issue causing him problems. *sigh*

Ego has never been an issue with me. I always encourage the woman I am with to help me understand her body in a way that will bring her maximum pleasure. And if we have to repeat over and over again...well...fringe benefits!

 

[nickbradshaw]

How short are the guys' arms that you let go down on you? *giggling*

I mean, I am 5'8 and I have never had a man have a problem playing with my breasts why he gave me cunnilingus...unless my feet where on his shoulders and I was grinding my pussy into this face and pulling the hell out of his hair....

This post really made me hot serene!

 

[handsfree6969]

How short are the guys' arms that you let go down on you? *giggling*

I mean, I am 5'8 and I have never had a man have a problem playing with my breasts why he gave me cunnilingus...unless my feet where on his shoulders and I was grinding my pussy into this face and pulling the hell out of his hair....

I could still reach them

 

[sereneone4u]

I could still reach them

Not with a wildcat bucking underneath you

 

[sereneone4u]

This post really made me hot serene!

Well...okay, lol.

It just made me giggle thinking of these really short-armed men trying to reach her nipples. Men have longer appendages than we do....

 

[handsfree6969]

Not with a wildcat bucking underneath you

Umm -- Yes -- still will get what I want

 

[HeyItsDani]

If a man's ego is that much of an issue, I'd say that he's likely not too enthusiastic about going down on someone.

I disagree with that as a matter of principle. While it may be true for some, I think it has more to do with the unique vulnerability one finds oneself in when performing a sex act upon someone else. The ego is likewise more vulnerable at that point, and it has little to do with their enthusiasm.

 

[redbombr0]

New question?

Ego has never been an issue with me. I always encourage the woman I am with to help me understand her body in a way that will bring her maximum pleasure. And if we have to repeat over and over again...well...fringe benefits!

That's why I enjoy a patient teacher....the more she teaches me, the more fun she has

Blowjobs are more mainstream, not just because men want sex more, but because giving oral sex is considered submissive while receiving it is considered empowering (I see it the other way around though,) and believe me, the lack of representation saddens me just as much (and probably more than) most modern feminists (many of whom I do not support.)

Your point is similar to one brought up by jennifer036, on the first page.

It has to do with gender stratification....but I think chalking it up just to different expectations of men and women is too simple, yes there is a lot of cultural stuff but there is also the fact that some women just honestly do not like how their vaginas look (i guess technically it's the vulva), an opinion expressed by some who have posted on this thread.


New Question: How would you like to best combat the "ugly vagina" idea?

 

[LindsayRae]

New Question: How would you like to best combat the "ugly vagina" idea?

Well, hell, I guess I'm stupid. Aside from disliking the "V" word (and not using it), what idea is it you speak of? You're claiming that a pussy is ugly? The "V" word is ugly? (Which I agree.) Or...?

 

[HeyItsDani]

Well, hell, I guess I'm stupid. Aside from disliking the "V" word (and not using it), what idea is it you speak of? You're claiming that a pussy is ugly? The "V" word is ugly? (Which I agree.) Or...?

I think he's asking how we solve the issue of women believing their cunts are ugly.

 

[LindsayRae]

I've always been a firm believer that cunts are beautiful. I like mine, and I love them in general. So, I guess I do not know of "the ugly idea"!

 

[HeyItsDani]

So, I guess I do not know of "the ugly idea"!

Well, there's evidence of it in this very thread. lol

 

[BlueyeGuy51]

I believe cunts are the most beautiful inspiring anatomical regions on a woman. This wasn't lost on great artists like Georgia Okeefe.

 

[rthnck]

A different pussy for everyone

Well I think it's time to point to the Favorite Pussy Type thread which should convince everyone that every pussy is beautiful.

I myself have never met a pussy I didn't love for all it's aspects.

 

[TeaforMe]

I love to receive as much as I love to give. My recent fantasy, though is to receive from a woman, but I do not desire to lick back,not for selfish reasons, I just don't think I can do it, so I guess I a sadly out of luck.

Labia shape varies on women, just like breasts...as much as I do not like how mine look, I have never had anyone tell me that they are anything but beautiful.

 

[TheLM]

I do love eating a woman out...

On the topic of "Ugly vaginas" the short answer is that women's genitalia is supposed to be internal. When your labia dangle 3 inches down it's a bit... Off-putting. But that is just my preference.

 

[LindsayRae]

Well, there's evidence of it in this very thread. lol

Here's where I admit I didn't read the previous posts then. lol

 

[LucyH]

Bored now.