reward vs punishment?

[deadselly]

I guess I wasn't clear enough when I was initially posting; this could be in part because I was thinking it out as I was writing, rather than thinking it out before writing. I suppose as it's the first time I've really honestly thought about it, it was going to be fuzzy from the get-go, but...

CutieMouse was right - it isn't punishment, per se, especially when I'm acting out to get it. I like getting beaten. I like getting abused. I like having things forced on me, because eventually, I'll end up liking it, even if I don't to begin with. I used to absolutely loathe the idea of anal, for instance; my love kinda got me hooked on the idea, however, and now it's addicting.

Punishment for me would be... ignorance. But that's the thing; if my boyfriend decided to ignore me as punishment for something I had done, while I'd be miserable, I think to an extent I'd also enjoy the suffering.

The entire reason I love BDSM is because I'm a masochist and because I love expressing my adoration for someone through submission. It's a very emotional thing. The sulking and suffering I'd undergo would be absolutely awful; but the thing is, I'm addicted to that feeling, if only because I'm a strong believer in the fact that only the people who really mean something to you can cause you such emotional turmoil.

Thus I'd almost revel in the pain of being ignored because it would be proof to myself that he did, indeed, mean the world to me. That while I had fucked up, I was at least doing him justice by properly suffering. So sure, it'd be a punishment, but also an addiction and a pleasure in and of itself.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have posted this many times before...

I do not punish. I have never had to punish a submissive. That would be work and a submissive's job is to please me and make my life easier.

It pleases me when I am obeyed.

If a submissive cannot obey he is dismissed.

The other good news is that I can discipline a submissive just because it amuses me, so why punish?

 

[A Desert Rose]

*blinks* you didn't offend me hon, I was just clarifying what I meant by "oddball out". No offense taken at all!

I had a migraine all day so I can only read in short spurts today. Guess I should prolly refrain from commenting when I can't really read everything, heh.

Err, btw, I have short term memory problems...if you felt you offended me in the past, I've long since forgotten entirely about it LOL

I'm glad to not offend you because I think you are one of the most knowledgeable posters here.

 

[Netzach]

I am finding that explanation of consequences before they happen is something that seems to be necessary, however.
"If you don't have my coffee made, I am Mrs. Asshole in the morning, remember?"

"If you don't do the laundry tonight it makes me not want to play with you in our bedroom when it's messy."

This might seem like a boring nagging, but when you are dealing with someone who has some of the attention issues M has, I find it really really helps.