Sadist or Masochist?

[ChuckEPenguin]

Is Sadist Penguin allowed?

 

[Essene]

I guess I should have been more specific. Do you derive pleasure from getting physical pain? Do you derive pleasure from giving it? Do you love/hate penguins? Yes/no?

Yes, yes, yes, sometimes...but only the unruly ones.

For me the whole thing has to do with the relationship dynamic. Personality-wise I'm very independant, and am mostly dominant, but sometimes I jive with the right (Big D shall we say?) "D" that I submit, and if I get emotionally involved, it's all over. Emotional involvement as a bottom makes me all gooey and I'm hooked.

The more I dig a PYL, the more I dig whatever they have to dish out.

 

[Soumis]

Feel better.

Thanks.

I've never created a poll on Lit. You know the Native American proverb: "Never judge a pollster until you've tried to assemble and conduct a coherent Lit poll with reasonable methodology. In mocassins."

Coherent? Reasonable? Hah!

That would be so cool. If that phrase began to turn up in BDSM personals. "Hard limits: kids, blood, BLoved." Even better, would be to think of a word that needs a definition, and make BLoved that word. Dan Savage did this with "santorum," and it really caught on.

Hmmm....

LOL! Hilarious!

Is Sadist Penguin allowed?

Of course, but only if it plays with other penguins. Hard to verify consent when you don't speak the same language!

 

[Netzach]

I want to know who the Dom Masos are, heh.

I have a mild masochistic streak which was less mild in my 20's. When I'm being good I indulge it with yoga.

 

[ChuckEPenguin]

Of course, but only if it plays with other penguins. Hard to verify consent when you don't speak the same language!

Ah...I see...

Um, no one tell Keroin, OK?

That bitch. Grumble, grumble.

 

[Soumis]

Ah...I see...

Um, no one tell Keroin, OK?

That bitch. Grumble, grumble.

Secret's safe here, once it gets moved to the cafe for being dangerously off topic all bets are off.

On topic: I'm not sure I could ever be in a D/s relationship without a s&m component. For some reason it isn't appealing to me at all. The s&m is the banana to my D/s peanut butter.

 

[Guest]

I have to ask a very dumb question. what does PYL mean?

 

[graceanne]

I'm neither a sadist or a masochist, I'm submissive to my PYL. I like being spanked and I crave pain in a sexual context only. I wouldn't consider that masochism though.

I voted pyl masochist, but honestly I'm more like this. Pain, in and of itself, is not a turn on.

 

[graceanne]

I have to ask a very dumb question. what does PYL mean?

pick your label

PYL: dom, top, daddy, master, etc

pyl: sub, bottom, slave, little girl, pet, etc

It was coined after the label wars.

ETA: not a dumb question, this board is the only one to consistently use that, I think. AngelicAssassin invented it.

 

[Soumis]

I'm neither a sadist or a masochist, I'm submissive to my PYL. I like being spanked and I crave pain in a sexual context only. I wouldn't consider that masochism though.

I voted pyl masochist, but honestly I'm more like this. Pain, in and of itself, is not a turn on.

My turn for the odd question, feel free to ignore it if you think it's too personal. I'm just trying to sort out what component has to be present for "sexual context." Do you think a spanking, beating, what have you, is sexual in nature (or needs to be) or is it the specific person administering it that makes it sexual? Basically, does it have to be physically sexual or mentally/emotionally sexual to be pleasant? Or both?

 

[celticsunspiral]

I voted pyl masochist, but honestly I'm more like this. Pain, in and of itself, is not a turn on.

I voted pyl maso, also and I have to agree with graceanne here, I don't wanna go breaking a bone to get turned on. lol. But pain in the context of sexual play big is a turn on. It could be physical or mental in the sexual sense, meaning there doesn't have to be a happy ending, the physical release in enduring the pain in certain contexts is enough.

 

[jaga7337]

definately a cruel Master/Mistress butcan drift into sadist territotry

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Well, judging from the look of my backside this evening, I'd say masochist.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

The more I dig a PYL, the more I dig whatever they have to dish out.

Oh, very much this.

The more I love him, the more I want to please, the more I can take.

 

[ballpoint_pen]

I wouldn't consider myself into BDSM really (just kinda stumbled into here... ), but I voted PYL Sadist. During sex with my girlfried I hate any pain given to me (even a knee on my arm when she's ontop can make me want to stop and readjust) but I really like spanking her, throwing her around, commanding her, and just being overall dominating and disrespectful. She eats it up too.

However, I do have fantasies of myself being pyl sadist with another man or a TV from time to time, but I haven't experienced that so I didn't put it down.

 

[graceanne]

My turn for the odd question, feel free to ignore it if you think it's too personal. I'm just trying to sort out what component has to be present for "sexual context." Do you think a spanking, beating, what have you, is sexual in nature (or needs to be) or is it the specific person administering it that makes it sexual? Basically, does it have to be physically sexual or mentally/emotionally sexual to be pleasant? Or both?

Okay, if we start out with a spanking, I don't find it arrousing. I put up with it, if he wants to, because whether I'm a masochist, or not, I am a submissive and I want to please him. If I'm already turned on, it's another aspect to the sex, and just makes me hotter. In other words, starting with pain (sexual or not) is not a turn on for me. Adding it in to sex is.

 

[ecstaticsub]

On topic: I'm not sure I could ever be in a D/s relationship without a s&m component. For some reason it isn't appealing to me at all. The s&m is the banana to my D/s peanut butter.

I'm totally the opposite. I don't think I could ever be in a S&M relationship (i.e. bottoming or Topping) if there was not a D/s component. My relationship now is almost completely D/s. We are in a LDR and only get into the physical S&M when we get together. (never could get into self-inflicted spankings/pain) There is a bit of mental S&M long distance, though. That mental submission, the feeling of being owned and that I am to obey all that he says without hesitation is why I do what I do.

My turn for the odd question, feel free to ignore it if you think it's too personal. I'm just trying to sort out what component has to be present for "sexual context." Do you think a spanking, beating, what have you, is sexual in nature (or needs to be) or is it the specific person administering it that makes it sexual? Basically, does it have to be physically sexual or mentally/emotionally sexual to be pleasant? Or both?

Maybe we are just perverts but I know for him beating my ass, hearing me scream when he is causing me pain gets his dick hard. Which in turn really gets my juices flowing. There are some times when I am craving that beating more than sex, but once the beating gets going I have to have the sex afterwards.

He forbids me to ever bottom for someone else, I think partly because he knows I would then crave being fucked by that person. I can't separate the two.

For me (and I know my PYL very well so I am guessing for him also) the spanking by itself is meaningless and empty if sex didn't come afterwards. Plus it would still hurt like hell, but without any purpose.

Even the one and only time he beat me as a punishment there was sex afterwards. (probably some of the best sex ever)

 

[JMohegan]

Dictionary.com:

Sadism: sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation to others.

Masochism: the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.

Merriam-Webster:

Sadism: 1 : a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object)
2 a : delight in cruelty b : excessive cruelty

Masochism: 1 : a sexual perversion characterized by pleasure in being subjected to pain or humiliation especially by a love object
2 : pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering

And why I think sadists are best paired with submissive non-masochists, and masochists are best paired with non-sadist service Tops.

 

[Stella_Omega]

And why I think sadists are best paired with submissive non-masochists, and masochists are best paired with non-sadist service Tops.

What? That doesn't even make sense!


Personally, the writings of the Marquise de Sade were deadly boring to me, and don't even come close to my desires. It's truly irritating that we should be saddled with a name derived from an ignorant politician's polemics, and I think it ought to remain the property of the Freudian psychiatrists-- who certainly make good use of it.

Likewise that poor schlub Sacher-Masoch. What a limited imagination he had bequeathed us, and how many people were flattened by those stupid stereotypes!

I bet most of us don't really fit the PYL/pyl paradigm either. I can be a total dom, when I want to be, completely selfish and focussed on my own desires. (It took fifty years for me to come to terms with that, but that's a different subject) Most of the time though, what I "selfishly want" is to know I have wreaked a whole lot of pleasure on my victim. So I don't hurt people who hate pain. Kinda duh, really.

And I like pain myself. But although I can put myself completely into the hands of a top and receive what they deal out, I can't say that it makes me feel very subby doing so...

 

[Belle966]

pyl sadist and, to a lesser extent, masochist.

As a bottom, I like to be dominated, but I don't like much pain. As a Top, I like to inflict pain, but being dominant/in control isn't that appealing in itself.

*shrugs* Submissive sadist, I suppose?

 

[neci]

pyl masochist. i have a sadistic streak, she just doesn't get to come out and play very often. it's more of a science experiment with the senses thing. if i had the liberty to really get in touch with that side of me i have no idea what i'd find. the masochist is pretty hardwired, and i've known about her for a long time. since puberty. i think the sex and pain lines inside me are crossed. i can do the lovey dovey vanilla sex thing, and make it work - it just takes effort. sex and receiving pain just feel natural. i can't get a spanking or have my hair yanked without getting wet. knowing it brings Him pleasure, makes it ten times better.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I wonder, are you including causing mental discomfort in the poll? I don't necessarily get off on causing physical pain as such; my riff has always been that if I could get someone to make Those Noises I Enjoy Hearing from something else besides pain, I'd go there too. If doing a sock puppet show could make my precious Toy moan and whimper and beg, I'd have the socks on in a heartbeat.

But getting someone to the point where they don't even know their own name, don't know what they're begging for, aren't clear where they are or what they want except that they WANT something in that way that makes them whimper and beg, well, indeed. And with some subs, that's more mental than physical anyway.

Not that I'd ever do that to a penguin; they seem to be capable of only a limited number of noises anyway.

 

[ForceFucker]

Most of the time though, what I "selfishly want" is to know I have wreaked a whole lot of pleasure on my victim. So I don't hurt people who hate pain. Kinda duh, really.

This is Brilliant. Concise and brilliant. If I knew you,Stella,I'ld be tempted to ask if I could use this in my sig.

I'm a long time PYL offline. I'm quite the nasty "sadist",I suppose-but it's the complete fullfillment of my play partners that gets me off. I come because I know that she is coming,but it's the direct result of my fully indulging my own rapacious desires.

So,what do you call that?

Gleeful PYL sadist with a watchful eye on the penguins?

 

[Netzach]

And why I think sadists are best paired with submissive non-masochists, and masochists are best paired with non-sadist service Tops.

Nothing kills my mental hard on faster than someone who's whining and pussing out before I even touch him. I like to hurt people who like pain and then hurt them in ways they don't like or don't know or don't expect.

I want it to hurt, but I want it to get to the point where it *really* hurts slowly and to watch them encounter that personal rubicon and get all sweaty.

 

[Netzach]

I wonder, are you including causing mental discomfort in the poll? I don't necessarily get off on causing physical pain as such; my riff has always been that if I could get someone to make Those Noises I Enjoy Hearing from something else besides pain, I'd go there too. If doing a sock puppet show could make my precious Toy moan and whimper and beg, I'd have the socks on in a heartbeat.

But getting someone to the point where they don't even know their own name, don't know what they're begging for, aren't clear where they are or what they want except that they WANT something in that way that makes them whimper and beg, well, indeed. And with some subs, that's more mental than physical anyway.

Not that I'd ever do that to a penguin; they seem to be capable of only a limited number of noises anyway.

I call it the Big Reaction, and it's generally what motivates me. I like being an instigator.