scars????

[dolf]

I don't think I'd be comfortable being w/ someone simply for the 'scar attraction'

yes, I agree. realising that someone's only interest in you is how you look REALLY sucks!

Yet, it also shows a certain unity of body and mind if an attractive woman doesn't hide obvious scars.

hehehe...not sure it shows unity. I think I'm just kinda arrogant about the fact that men DO find me attractive

I had one on my face from when someone thought I was just too pretty. At least that's what he said before he cut me. I honestly liked being pretty before that.

hmm...getting cut up is a cruddy experience but the man was a fool coz the world is full of ladies who like scars.
it's a little known fact, but ladies who are into scars are much better

 

[Raeth]

My wife has quite a few scars from being competitive in horseback riding (hunter/jumper) I love them all and would never have any of them removed or changed. I think it might be because in some ways she is proud of them.

I think Sir_Winston said pretty much exactly what I was thinking about them... well... except for the fact that strawberry milk is gross... I would have said chocolate.

If you don't have a problem with them, nobody else should.

 

[Manifest_Shadow]

The scars for me are an extreme attraction. They tell tales of where the persons been in life, what they've gone through, what they've accomplished. They're not so much as scars as they are road maps of life.

Theres ALWAYS a story behind a scar and that in its self is attractive it stimulates conversation establishes trust and the scar tissue is EXTREMELY sensitive. But again with out a mental connection all of that above is moot, but it can still be something admired.

 

[psychone]

I have a fair number of scars on my body, those I have been with have found them to be quite interesting. Liking touching and kissing some of them. Explaining how they got there has been pretty good for developing trust with others. I have considered having them removed, but that would be removing some of myself.

With scars on others I have tended to find them attractive as part of a person and how they became.

 

[Moonlust]

Has anyone ever read The Scar by China Mieville?

In it, there is a pair of town rulers called The Lovers. Neither have names, they're either The Lover or The Lover. They ritually scar each other in the same places on their bodies, faces included. It was a very interesting little sidetwist to a novel...

I have several scars and am in the process of getting tattos to cover each of them.

 

[dolf]

Explaining how they got there has been pretty good for developing trust with others

hmmm...i'm never going to explain exactly what happened, ever, to anyone! so i guess it could have the opposite effect...they might feel that it's because i don't trust them & it could become a real issue
i might want to give someone my present and my future but my past belongs to me and i'm not sharing! i can see that this could cause problems but i guess everyone has limits.
xx

 

[shy slave]

I have scars from stretch marks both pregnancies thay stretched so much the bled plus I also have Caesarian scars.
Like joiphulone i also get keloid scars. I was bitten by a someone who had a learning disability ~ He was trying to bit into my upper jaw/cheek i moved back and he fell into my boobs *shrug* needless to say I have an everforming scar which despite steriod injections continues to grow and itch.

My stomach is the biggest embarrassment to me, if i won the lottery it would be the first thing I would spend money on. Not because I am vain but the scarring has left me with a slight, very ugly overhang of my stomach which no amount of excercise will move. As a result I never wear clothes that show this: tight skirts, bikinis.

Master understands and encourages me to relax about them but its a very real uphill battle.

Before discovering this lifestyle I would prefer quickies where we only partly undressed so they would not see my stomach!!

Now master, on occasion, makes me stay naked when we are together. Psychologically this is very difficult

 

[catalina_francisco]

I have scars from stretch marks both pregnancies thay stretched so much the bled plus I also have Caesarian scars.
Like joiphulone i also get keloid scars. I was bitten by a someone who had a learning disability ~ He was trying to bit into my upper jaw/cheek i moved back and he fell into my boobs *shrug* needless to say I have an everforming scar which despite steriod injections continues to grow and itch.

My stomach is the biggest embarrassment to me, if i won the lottery it would be the first thing I would spend money on. Not because I am vain but the scarring has left me with a slight, very ugly overhang of my stomach which no amount of excercise will move. As a result I never wear clothes that show this: tight skirts, bikinis.

Master understands and encourages me to relax about them but its a very real uphill battle.

Before discovering this lifestyle I would prefer quickies where we only partly undressed so they would not see my stomach!!

Now master, on occasion, makes me stay naked when we are together. Psychologically this is very difficult

Sounds like my keloid on my stomach in a way....has made my stomach appear lopsidedand certainly will not be flat as a board ever again. The scariest thing though was a couple of years ago when something went wrong and first a black spot like the tip of a lead pencil had marked me near the base of the scar appeared, then grew into a larger black spot similar to bruising then just opened to be a hole deep into my lower stomach. Wasn't painful though it did weep and cause my clothing to stick, and remained for months. Underwent tests with several doctors and hospitals, x rays, ultrasounds, the lot and all they found was I had a deep hole with no sign of infection. It was suggested something had been left in during the initial operation but as that was at the time 26 years earlier and there was no real inffection showing up, I never thought it was likely. My doctor finally cured it (after the hospitals gave up) with a combination of seaweed treatment and some Chinese herbal remedies.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

Sounds like my keloid on my stomach in a way....has made my stomach appear lopsidedand certainly will not be flat as a board ever again. The scariest thing though was a couple of years ago when something went wrong and first a black spot like the tip of a lead pencil had marked me near the base of the scar appeared, then grew into a larger black spot similar to bruising then just opened to be a hole deep into my lower stomach. Wasn't painful though it did weep and cause my clothing to stick, and remained for months. Underwent tests with several doctors and hospitals, x rays, ultrasounds, the lot and all they found was I had a deep hole with no sign of infection. It was suggested something had been left in during the initial operation but as that was at the time 26 years earlier and there was no real inffection showing up, I never thought it was likely. My doctor finally cured it (after the hospitals gave up) with a combination of seaweed treatment and some Chinese herbal remedies.

Catalina

Sounds terrifying, what a horrible process to go through. Especially when conventional medical support was none the wiser. Thank goodness you found a cure if not a reason.

Life has not been dull for you Catalina {{{{hugs}}}}

 

[graceanne]

Question: What's a keloid?

My stomach also does that floppy thing. I've talked to other women who've had cesarians, and it seems to be pretty normal, but still ugly. I hate it too. I think it's cause of the cesarian, cause it 'flops' over right where the scar is.

On the subject of things that we think is ugly on our bodies, I used to have a funny looking belly button. I got an umbilical hernia while I was pregnant with beth. I showed my ob, and she said it was a fatty tumor. After I had her it got a bit worse, and then one day I noticed my dad had a bump like mine! So I put my foot in my mouth and marveled that we had a fatty tumor in the same place! Daddy said that the dr's an idiot and it's a umbilical hernia. So when I had danny they fixed it while they already had me open. I also found out that people with crohns disease have to be extra careful about umbilical hernias. When the surgeoun found out I had both cd, and the hernia, he got me an appointment the next day to make sure that there weren't any complications. Luckily I was able to wait till danny, if I'd had to have surgery at that point danny would have been premature.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Question: What's a keloid?

In simple terms it was described to me in my teens as a 'growing scar' which means it doesn't heal as a fine white line, or non-existant one after time but continues to grow scar tissue, usually both externally and internally. Mine is about an inch wide, and hard, and goes through a myriad of colours depending on the day. There is actually no feeling on the external surface of the scar itself, just a numbness. Due to the condition there is no way of repair through plastic surgery, skin graphs and such...it is there forever in all it's gory glory.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Life has not been dull for you Catalina {{{{hugs}}}}

LOL, sometimes that is a blessing, sometimes not, but I think I have grown to accept it is reality for me and just get on with living, go with the flow, and adapt when needed.

Catalina

 

[AngelicAssassin]

In simple terms it was described to me in my teens as a 'growing scar' ... There is actually no feeling on the external surface of the scar itself, just a numbness ...

i've got one from childhood on my lower leg, bone white, and utterly insensitive to touch and heat. It has no elevation re the non-scar tissue surrounding it. Of the newer ones, one can't be seen unless i change shaving habits. The other two can be seen if i doff my shirt. One will eventually match the lower leg. No clue what the other will do. i'm more concerned with a crotch of white hair, and jokes of a snake in a snowbank, than i am of scars. i can't do anything about either, therefore i'm not concerned.

 

[joiphulone]

Question: What's a keloid?

My stomach also does that floppy thing. I've talked to other women who've had cesarians, and it seems to be pretty normal, but still ugly. I hate it too. I think it's cause of the cesarian, cause it 'flops' over right where the scar is.

On the subject of things that we think is ugly on our bodies, I used to have a funny looking belly button. I got an umbilical hernia while I was pregnant with beth. I showed my ob, and she said it was a fatty tumor. After I had her it got a bit worse, and then one day I noticed my dad had a bump like mine! So I put my foot in my mouth and marveled that we had a fatty tumor in the same place! Daddy said that the dr's an idiot and it's a umbilical hernia. So when I had danny they fixed it while they already had me open. I also found out that people with crohns disease have to be extra careful about umbilical hernias. When the surgeoun found out I had both cd, and the hernia, he got me an appointment the next day to make sure that there weren't any complications. Luckily I was able to wait till danny, if I'd had to have surgery at that point danny would have been premature.

Hi Graceanne,
a keloid was explained to me in a more simple way. I overheal. I have a wound, it heals....it heals some more....and some more....a keloid doesn't cause the stomach or other area of the body to 'flop over' itself. But in some places where it is located, like the stomach, skin/fat around it continue to transform with a changing body, but the scar remains the same.

My c-section keloid scar is a vertical one (I know, unusual).....and when I look down, it looks like the letter v....the bottom of the v is my scar and the sides are my belly....all par for the course.

My scars do change colors as well. I have some that are much more purple and some that are more white. My c-section scar is just over an inch wide at its' base and a mere1/4 inch just under my naval.

I appreciate this thread and the feedback that people are willing to share. My scars have hindered me a lot, mostly fear of acceptance. I have not had a problem attracting people as a result, but I am quite shy when it comes to showing them. I guess, I am afraid of their reactions because they are so ugly and prominent.

I am attaching a pic of one of my small keloid scars...it's not the best shot, because the focus wasn't my scar...but it gives an idea of what a keloid can look like.

 

[graceanne]

Well, I don't know if this counts, but I used to have one on my arm that was bright purple. I put scar tissue remover on it, and not it's a more normal color, and smaller.

 

[psychone]

hmmm...i'm never going to explain exactly what happened, ever, to anyone!

For me it might be a little different, they are quite visible, so I get asked near inevitably after people know me for a while. It is a gamble each time the truth, has worked well mostly. Those I have refused to give the real answer have also tended to be fine.

Keloid scars - I have two, one over time has decreased a lot in terms of being a 'bump' on the skin, the other less so. They are both only about 1/2" long which might be a factor in how they heal. Sometimes they do itch a little, nothing more.

My scars have hindered me a lot, mostly fear of acceptance.

I used to hide the more obvious ones, then I thought why not just wear clothes were they can be seen in places and see what happens. Most did not say a thing about them ever, quite easy to hide in plain sight. Not worrying as much has been liberating.

 

[joiphulone]

For me it might be a little different, they are quite visible, so I get asked near inevitably after people know me for a while. It is a gamble each time the truth, has worked well mostly. Those I have refused to give the real answer have also tended to be fine.

Keloid scars - I have two, one over time has decreased a lot in terms of being a 'bump' on the skin, the other less so. They are both only about 1/2" long which might be a factor in how they heal. Sometimes they do itch a little, nothing more.


I used to hide the more obvious ones, then I thought why not just wear clothes were they can be seen in places and see what happens. Most did not say a thing about them ever, quite easy to hide in plain sight. Not worrying as much has been liberating.

I do not have a problem showing the one on my upper arm...the one I posted the pic of....most people think I got stabbed...lol....

the other little ones I have I don't hide either, if they show, they show...I'm free from concern from them....and I laugh at those I tell the truth to as to how they got there...because they are always so shocked...

I cannot hide the ones on my wrists all the time due to weather etc.....most people ignore them when they see them, but they are obvious scars with obvious reasons for their existence....the one I hide the most is my c-section scar.

But returning to the original topic...do people really find these scars as well as other kinds, sexy or provocative? I would think that some people would feel more pity than desire.....

 

[shy slave]

A slight detour & HELPPPPP

i'm more concerned with a crotch of white hair, and jokes of a snake in a snowbank,

I think I need more medication...That description is making me think of AA in a sexy, as oppose to scary, way!!!

Is it too late to book a the white in white coats??

 

[dolf]

yuck! it's the pity thing I hate. the way people look at me if they see my back & figure out that I got cut up pretty badly. I just walk tall because I know I'm a survivor.

I don't mind someone thinking that they are beautiful because they are part of me. I don't mind someone having a bit of a fetish & getting turned on. I'd really like someone to see that, yes, I've been hurt and, yes, I might be kinda fragile sometimes.

on the pregnancy topic I have an interesting...hmm...is it a scar?
my abdominals unzipped, top to bottom due to the size of my baby (10lb 12oz) and they never closed. I have a hole that runs from my bottom rib down to my pubic bone. it's visible through the skin as a deep groove. I got scarred without breaking the skin. (I have to do regular physio exercises to keep the close together) I agree that these marks are the hardest to show, the hardest to accept...but we got them creating a whole new life and I'm sure that any man who understands how special that is will see the beauty in it.
xx

 

[graceanne]

on the pregnancy topic i have an interesting...hmm...is it a scar?
my abdominals unzipped, top to bottom due to the size of my baby (10lb 12oz) and they never closed.

ouch. My middle child was born a month early at 8 lbs. My dr says that if I'd carried her to term she'd have been 12 lbs. I thank god I had her early. That would have killed me. I'm only 5' tall, there was no way a 12 lb child could have fit inside of me.

 

[shy slave]

yuck! it's the pity thing I hate. the way people look at me if they see my back & figure out that I got cut up pretty badly. I just walk tall because I know I'm a survivor.

I don't mind someone thinking that they are beautiful because they are part of me. I don't mind someone having a bit of a fetish & getting turned on. I'd really like someone to see that, yes, I've been hurt and, yes, I might be kinda fragile sometimes.

on the pregnancy topic I have an interesting...hmm...is it a scar?
my abdominals unzipped, top to bottom due to the size of my baby (10lb 12oz) and they never closed. I have a hole that runs from my bottom rib down to my pubic bone. it's visible through the skin as a deep groove. I got scarred without breaking the skin. (I have to do regular physio exercises to keep the close together) I agree that these marks are the hardest to show, the hardest to accept...but we got them creating a whole new life and I'm sure that any man who understands how special that is will see the beauty in it.
xx

I am with Grace on the 'Ouch' factor

My strectch marks are my hardest scars to show, they make me feel abnormal.

So many women carry babies and have some scars that fade to silver marks i get wrinkles and hanging skin.

No amount of excercise will fix then as the stomach muscles are shot to pieces. I was 4'10 1/2 when had 1st baby 4' 10 for second now 4' 9 (osteoporosis is causing early shrinkage *sigh*)

I have accepted them, but this was with the unexpected help of my eldest when he was about 31/2 yrs. Wlaking into the bathroom when I was in the bath, he wanted to know what they were. I explained it was from having babies in my tummy the skin had to stretch.

He was quite impressed!!

Son: so i did that to you from the inside?

Me: yes, you and your brother (not wanting to make big deal/guilt assign blame

Son: We're really clever. Wow! Andrew see what we did to Mummy *runs off looking for his brother!!*

 

[graceanne]

My stretch marks don't really bug me. I mean I don't go around in crop tops or anything, but I'm not ashamed. What I hate are the scars on my arms where I clawed myself. It's like a big sign saying "Look at what a loser I was!"

 

[dolf]

My stretch marks don't really bug me. I mean I don't go around in crop tops or anything, but I'm not ashamed. What I hate are the scars on my arms where I clawed myself. It's like a big sign saying "Look at what a loser I was!"

no, they don't say that at all. they say "life has driven me to the very edge of the precipice but i fought my way back again."
i have some of those on the soles of my feet (i didn't want to risk people seeing them...and it hurt more) anybody who'd label you a loser is an ignorant idiot who hasn't noticed that sometimes life is damn hard.

I have accepted them, but this was with the unexpected help of my eldest when he was about 31/2 yrs. Wlaking into the bathroom when I was in the bath, he wanted to know what they were. I explained it was from having babies in my tummy the skin had to stretch.

He was quite impressed!!

Son: so i did that to you from the inside?

Me: yes, you and your brother (not wanting to make big deal/guilt assign blame

Son: We're really clever. Wow! Andrew see what we did to Mummy *runs off looking for his brother!!*

ouch! i laughed too hard kids are just the best, lol.
xx

 

[littlegirlslut]

Has anyone ever read The Scar by China Mieville?

In it, there is a pair of town rulers called The Lovers. Neither have names, they're either The Lover or The Lover. They ritually scar each other in the same places on their bodies, faces included. It was a very interesting little sidetwist to a novel...

I have several scars and am in the process of getting tattos to cover each of them..

Fabulous Book....

 

[psychone]

Fabulous Book....

Sorry. I'm confused, what book?