Sex in to our 50's and 60's? You bet! :)

I'm 55, but I have to admit that my whole time growing up, in fact up until I started chatting with folks here on Lit, I was led to believe that menopause was the end of sexual desire for women, and that guys couldn't even get it up after about 50.

I've learned a lot on here over the past couple years.
Stories of marriages becoming sexless in later years break my heart. And it's quite often (though not always) the woman calling it quits after menopause. I'm not a sex therapist but I have two theories as to why...

  • Sadly, there are many women who never really enjoyed sex all that much before menopause because they were in marriages where their sexual fulfillment wasn't given equal priority. Nonetheless, they did what they believed was their obligation and put up with years and years of mediocre, mostly one-sided sex. But once menopause arrives and makes penetrative sex potentially painful, many of these women understandably decide it's time to simply tap out and call it quits. After all, if their inconsiderate lover didn't make sex enjoyable BEFORE menopause, they have little hope he'll make it enjoyable AFTER menopause, when it becomes so much more difficult. So... many tell their husbands, "Sorry dear, I'm going through The Big Change and sex now hurts - so I'm done with it!"
  • Thanks to the internet, there are many men whose idea of good sex is very porn-driven, which of course is very male driven. So imagine being a menopausal woman knowing your husband is watching porn clips of hyper-orgasmic, tight-bodied 20-something women who are wailing and writhing with ecstasy, while she is struggling to enjoy simple masturbation - thanks to vaginal pain/ dryness, hot flashes, body-image issues, depression, etc.. It's not surprising this leaves her feeling sexually irrelevant and left behind. Please understand I'm not anti-porn (I love it!) I'm just saying that as their wife struggles with menopause it's even more important for men to assure her they know the difference between fantasy sex and real-world sex (and real world bodies).
 
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I'm north of 60 now and I have sex every chance I get with females, males, and trans women. I had radiation treatment for prostate cancer several years ago and was concerned about my erectile health. My oncologist told me after the treatments were complete that I needed to try and get an erection at least once per day and maintain it for 15 minutes or more to ensure continued erections until late in life. I followed her advice and still get spontaneous erections occasionally, but with a little stimulation I usually have no trouble getting and staying hard. On the rare occasions when I have trouble getting an erection, I have a little blue pill to help things along. And I sometimes take it to enhance things a bit more!

I do worry that I may not always have the ability, which is why I'm having as much sex as I can now. I love sex, and I know that I can pleasure my partners even without an erection, but I I'm not quite ready to lose the ability to get hard!
 
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