Sexless marriage

[hulmule]

So many people are in sexless marriages. I never had a very plentiful drive and it would cause many fights between my husband and I. We raised four daughters, yes, four hormonal monsters. Top it off with the oldest having autism. It was tough to be in any mood but tired.

After our daughters grew up and all but one moved out, my husband and I found ourselves in a new stage. A nearly empty nest. By this time, we perfected the art of our communication, no longer had irrational and emotional fights but sat down and talked out things on our mind.

Because our sex life was quite stale, after having kids , it is common, my husband wanted to explore a more creative and liberal approach. He thought I would want to leave him when he asked how I felt about exploring an open marriage or swinging. At this time (5 years ago) my drive was even worse. I was open to spicing things up so we had some serious conversations about trust, how we imagined it to be, what we were looking for, what we were afraid of. We put our hearts and souls out on the table for one another, exposing feelings, fears, and desires. We planned this methodically with many rules as we were very naive. to shorten this response, we learned what worked for us, what we did not like, what we were okay with and so on. My drive improved here and there, doing something taboo helped me feel sexy, seeing one another in a different light also helped. But I am nearly 48 and my drive just isn't where it used to be. I like to write about my experiences and make ones up, it helps put me in a mood but I can go without sex for a good period of time. My husband has a regular girlfriend that takes care of his needs when I am just not in the mood. I adore her- and she and I are good friends. Perhaps this is an avenue that could be explored for those in similar situations.

This is great that you were able to come to a win - win situation. Glad that your both able to accept each others needs. My wife in a a few heated conversions go get a girlfriend !. But not like you ,where it was discussed nicely. You and your husband have a busy life with children , mine are grown. Afraid to bring up an open relationship to her. But maybe i can somehow break the ice on this. Love my wife, but she has told me multiple times. "I just don't think about and don't care about it ,Sorry i cant satisfy your needs " So i struggle with my needs and try to be fair to her. I rub her back and body and try not to let it become sexual. Sadly I'm on LIT to often , but still not getting my needs fulfilled.

 

[hulmule]

Very interesting dialogue. My spouse has never had a sexy drive. Lately it has been Non existent. She would threaten to leave if I ever suggested an open relation ship. I have sought out porn to masturbate with. I am 80 going on 60 according to others comments. I am at a loss how to help her libido. I would prefer to not cheat and get laid some where else. I love her but I need some good sexual release. Pete55912

Same boat..Wife never liked porn and got pissed about my comments sometimes. Now she turns her head. But porn doesnt do it for me.., hand ,cock and mind need the real thing... i want deep kisses etc. But wife just isn't there anymore. So hopefully thing will find a little better situation for us but not holding my breath just my cock sadly

 

[Helpme01]

9 months and counting but hopefully we will split up soon theni i will make up for lost time

 

[Happyjack122448]

Just listened to Bettina Arndt on YouTube. Very pertinent to this thread. Recommended