Sexless marriage

[MH2024hot]

Great point.. it we end up being the bad guys if we have needs or think about finding someone else to fulfill that need (not that I have brought anything up)..

Ya. I was in a split marriage for lack of a better term. We were a couple focused on raising kids and focused on church and school, sex is every 3 weeks or so and the same thing. She spent hours a week doing Bible study. And I'm jacking off to whatever gets me going, debating going to sex clubs overseas to really feel a connection with others who appreciate lust and sexual desire.

What was different for us is that other than sex, we have a healthy emotional relationship overall. We care for each other needs, she trusts me, she says I'm an amazing lover, etc. (I'm good with my hands, ha not crazy endowed at all). She says that all the time. Says I could be a masseuse. And she cums great, but our routine is the same and it's not even every two weeks. Sometimes a month.

So I separated the lust and directed it elsewhere. First, I felt guilty. Then I stopped feeling guilty. Then I would get frustrated and angry with her about lack of sexual connection. But that wasn't healthy so I stopped that and just tried to enjoy myself. Then I wanted a connection and graduated to cam shows and strip clubs. But then I wanted connection with her. That's my true desire. Recently I've opened up to her about my lust and we are making some headway, written about it on here.

 

[OldTennisGuy]

I feel for people..men and women in sexless marriages..must be frustrating x

Very! It’s been several years now Been thru lots of lube

 

[LookN2Talk]

Ya. I was in a split marriage for lack of a better term. We were a couple focused on raising kids and focused on church and school, sex is every 3 weeks or so and the same thing. She spent hours a week doing Bible study.

I have so many friends in similar situations, which blows my mind, of all people, Christian wives are supposed to know how very important sex (intimacy) is in a marriage.

What was different for us is that other than sex, we have a healthy emotional relationship overall. We care for each other needs, she trusts me, she says I'm an amazing lover, etc. (I'm good with my hands, ha not crazy endowed at all). She says that all the time. Says I could be a masseuse. And she cums great, but our routine is the same and it's not even every two weeks. Sometimes a month.

If we have go that long, my wife flat out tells me, "That's on me. If I want it, make the moves or flat out say, we're having sex in a few minutes Let's go. .

So I separated the lust and directed it elsewhere. First, I felt guilty. Then I stopped feeling guilty. Then I would get frustrated and angry with her about lack of sexual connection.

Again my wife tells me, that's on me. I can make love or have sex with her anytime, all I have to do is say so.

But that wasn't healthy so I stopped that and just tried to enjoy myself. Then I wanted a connection and graduated to cam shows and strip clubs. But then I wanted connection with her. That's my true desire.

I feel you. That connection is so very important. And I agree - it's the true desire, the ultimate.

Recently I've opened up to her about my lust and we are making some headway, written about it on here.

Can you send me a pm with the links? I love to hear others with success stories figuring it all out. I hate it when couples can't get it sorted. Glad of the headway.

 

[Forrest69]

TomnDiane, I lost my first wife of 29 years due to cancer. My heart goes out to both of you. We did have a slow sex life because of it and I don't blame her, she tryed. My second marriage now of 24 years ( today ) started out good, sexually. But declined after 12 to 15 years. I may have ED but there are other acts to do. She does figure that. When she was in college to complete her degree, I got a blow job every 3 months. Nothing in between. NOW,,, maybe a kiss every day or two. And I'm too old to start looking again ( 73 )

I’m in almost the same situation, and agonizing trying to find desirable sex partners. I truly miss sensual intimacy…

 

[Forrest69]

I had a glimpse into my past last night. I was sitting in my basement bar watching a game and she came to me, hugged me from behind and Al whispered in my ear “make love to me!” I think I came before she got naked LOL! Oh well it did last a little longer than that but I’m sure it’ll be another year before I see her naked body again.

Wow!!!! Please bottle that pixie dust and send it to me!!!

 

[novice68writer123]

I feel for people..men and women in sexless marriages..must be frustrating x

Yup that's me. 56 mwm. Never had any girlfriends growing up. First wife nearly no sex and current wife we havn't
had sex in 15 years. I know folks will say I should talk to her but

 

[LookN2Talk]

I had a glimpse into my past last night. I was sitting in my basement bar watching a game and she came to me, hugged me from behind and Al whispered in my ear “make love to me!” I think I came before she got naked LOL! Oh well it did last a little longer than that but I’m sure it’ll be another year before I see her naked body again.

What on earth motivated her? Had to be something that sparked THAT, ???

 

[LookN2Talk]

Yup that's me. 56 mwm. Never had any girlfriends growing up. First wife nearly no sex and current wife we havn't
had sex in 15 years. I know folks will say I should talk to her but

I hate that for you! Why on earth did you marry them?

 

[novice68writer123]

I reckon young and foolish. Or they acted like they were interested in sex before marriage. But once we became married
that went out the window. I believe in marriage but living like roommates with a son is a hassle. And there is no talking
to her about it either, it's pretty pathetic.

 

[LookN2Talk]

That totally irks me. It's like someone needs to thump them in the head a few thousands times. And you are right, it is pathetic and there is no excuse for her not talking it out.

 

[novice68writer123]

Exactly and there are a lot of people that will say you should talk about it or maybe if i bought her flowers or took her
to the movies Then she would love me. Forget that, I should not have to "Do" anything for my wife to treat me with
respect. The problem is she don't have a sexual bone in her. But of course my a__ would be grass if she found out
i was here on Literotica.

 

[PMarky2]

The annoying thing about a near sexless marriage is that when we had a sexual relationship, the urge would strike 1 to 3 times a week, we used to get one another off, and go about our daily business. Now that is not happening sex is in my mind all the freaking time. Wanking and being on here does not seem to be able to replace the satisfaction one derives from a warm willing woman.

 

[Deadfreak]

The annoying thing about a near sexless marriage is that when we had a sexual relationship, the urge would strike 1 to 3 times a week, we used to get one another off, and go about our daily business. Now that is not happening sex is in my mind all the freaking time. Wanking and being on here does not seem to be able to replace the satisfaction one derives from a warm willing woman.

Wanking and being on here does not seem to be able to replace the satisfaction one derives from a warm willing woman.

I know that's right

 

[novice68writer123]

Agreed, especially if she is actually Interested in having sex. It's been at least 15 years, no lie. We have been married for 22 years. Even when we Were having sex it was like once a month and over in 5 minutes, like pity sex. I literally can't
make this stuff up.
Plus there is no way she could handle my taboo frisky mind.

 

[drobert44]

My wife ended our physical relationship more than 15 years ago. Said "It hurts too much, I can't do this anymore." So, we became room mates. Divorce wasn't an option. It's been quite an experience. Our sex life was very good before. Now, she's very sick (cancer). Just remember two things: 1) Life isn't fair, and 2) You're not in control of anything. BTW, I would never marry again (I'm 64).

Same thing for the married sissy I date; wifey cant fuck, it hurts, but they remained married.

 

[drobert44]

Wanking and being on here does not seem to be able to replace the satisfaction one derives from a warm willing woman.

I know that's right

True, but I wont date a woman as once they fuck, they wanna own me........so, I date men.

 

[MH2024hot]

Wanking and being on here does not seem to be able to replace the satisfaction one derives from a warm willing woman.

I know that's right

I will say that online cam shows, one on one and private with woman I could really communicate with...masturbating and watching each other while talking, that was intoxicating and quite satisfying. At first. I mean, the first time I shot cum up my neck as another woman watched me and encouraged me, wow. But...it's not the same. And I'm paying for it so it's not real. Don't get me wrong, there was lots of talk and chat and intimate conversation, not just dirty talk and me cumming in a minute, actually enjoyed getting to know two lovely ladies...but I'm still a client. And I still longed for my wife at the end of the day.

That warmth you mention and personal interaction and the honesty...we all crave it. I ached for it. But for me, I was too afraid to admit to her my feelings and the amount of lust I felt.

 

[PMarky2]

The only thing that keeps me halfway sane is that I go for a particular type of woman, so I am not perpetually looking at women and thinking, 'I would not mind...' On the other hand, when I do run into someone who is my type, rational thought is not possible for several hours, as I am wondering 'does she have the brains to match her looks?' etc..

[For reference, 'my type' is intelligent, average height or above, slim with small high breasts and a tight round butt, and what I can only describe as a vaguely Scandinavian, or at least Germanic look.]

 

[Pavlovsdog6862]

I’m going to say what s actually happening to marriages nowadays. After your wife has kids the f-n doctors give your wife the “marriage stitch” when sewing up there perineum area . Your wife then finds sex painful and eventually finds ways to avoid sex . Doctors do this all the time

 

[MH2024hot]

The only thing that keeps me halfway sane is that I go for a particular type of woman, so I am not perpetually looking at women and thinking, 'I would not mind...' On the other hand, when I do run into someone who is my type, rational thought is not possible for several hours, as I am wondering 'does she have the brains to match her looks?' etc..

[For reference, 'my type' is intelligent, average height or above, slim with small high breasts and a tight round butt, and what I can only describe as a vaguely Scandinavian, or at least Germanic look.]

Interesting. Post a pic of your type of lady!

 

[Deadfreak]

Interesting. Post a pic of your type of lady!

I'm picturing Krause from Benson
TV reference

 

[PMarky2]

I'm picturing Krause from Benson
TV reference

Inga Swenson was the actress who played Krauss, and yes, she is a good approximation of the type. The gal below is a good example too, except my favorite Scandie girl is a bit geeky looking - plainer colours, specs and sensible shoes.

 

[Britva415]

It's ok to be asexual for certain season's of one's life.

It's OK for my wife to be, yeah. "Be asexual" isn't a switch she can flip.

Not me, though. It's not OK: "Be asexual" isn't a switch I can flip.

That's why our marriage is now open.

 

[PMarky2]

It's OK for my wife to be, yeah. "Be asexual" isn't a switch she can flip.

Not me, though. It's not OK: "Be asexual" isn't a switch I can flip.

That's why our marriage is now open.

God bless those who can be celibate, but I don't think I have been able to manage that since my balls dropped. That's rather a problem these days.

 

[Britva415]

God bless those who can be asexual

Do you mean "those who can be celibate?" Asexuality is more like a sexual orientation, people don't choose it.