Sir/Master/Daddy...titles to be used sparingly?

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cascadiabound]

"are you a knight? are we in england?"

I've been led to understand codifications such as those found in Debretts tend not to serve you well in all places... such as the deep south.

Politely talking down is practically an artform there, where "honey," "boy," and "son," might be affectionate as easily as it might also mean "I don't know your name and i don't care to."

I've heard more recently that Canadians can even talk down while also apologizing, and genuinely mean both.

~ ~ ~

oh wait... now i'm remembering decades old arguements about BDSM "old guard" and "traditional BDSM ettiquette"...

or am i? My memory sucks.

My favorite southern colloquialism which sounds perfectly sweet, but is often meant as the most biting of insults is ~

"Why, bless your heart..."

 

[Farawyn]

My favorite southern colloquialism which sounds perfectly sweet, but is often meant as the most biting of insults is ~

"Why, bless your heart..."

I LOVE this, says the girl from NY.

 

[Blue]

_____

 

[MeekMe]

In England this would all be taken as what it sounds like from a literal context.
So in the USA, polite niceties can be taken as grievous insults? No wonder Trump has a shot at the presidency, everything seems to be topsy turvey there.

Deep fried butter, fascists running for president of the self-proclaimed free-est nation, the RNC platforming their party on biblical literalism in what is the world's first secular country, the richest pay no taxes and the poorest pay the most taxes, and now politeness is insulting. Good gracious, what madness will I find out next about the old colony?

The bless your heart stuff is a southern thing. "Bless your heart" = "you're a fucking idiot" It's to call someone stupid and still be "polite." Remember your manners in the south.

You'll also hear lots of "yes, ma'am" and "yes, sir" around here.

 

[cookiecat]

<snipped a bit> This is online after all. We exist here only as the fictional facades we present to each other. It is each poster's choice how close we choose to cleave to non-fiction.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I'm a figment. I'm actually a happier figment here. The glitter and all.

You know, talking about the bdsm stutter (O/our, W/we), when I first started on a different site, I typed in all lower case letters as if that was some symbol of my submission. As time went on, it was just lazy. I reverted back to using a capital I for me as some sort of reclaiming of me. Small gesture for sure, but weirdly meaningful.

 

[SpunThings]

In England this would all be taken as what it sounds like from a literal context.
So in the USA, polite niceties can be taken as grievous insults? No wonder Trump has a shot at the presidency, everything seems to be topsy turvey there.

Deep fried butter, fascists running for president of the self-proclaimed free-est nation, the RNC platforming their party on biblical literalism in what is the world's first secular country, the richest pay no taxes and the poorest pay the most taxes, and now politeness is insulting. Good gracious, what madness will I find out next about the old colony?

It's all in the tone. It's condescension, in the guise of politeness. I'm sure if you heard it in context it would make more sense to you. You probably have different cultural expressions of condescension, but it's all the same.

 

[Sapphire_Orchid]

I've never had much of a problem with being called ma'am because I was raised to call people sir or ma'am out of respect, but I don't like it too much. It just makes me feel old.

But I do feel that terms like master or mistress should be used sparingly, and with individuals who have put in the work to earn it from the person addressing them as such. It shouldn't be used casually. I actually see addressing someone as master or mistress as being akin to saying "I love you."

Although I certainly don't claim to speak for everyone, but that's just my two cents on the matter.

 

[cascadiabound]

Probably pointless quibbling;

While I agreed with you, to be clear; it was a former Mistress's words that once had "that effect".

I feel like I have a better understanding now, of what I was chasing back then, but there's basically no such fix to be had these days, and I'm probably the safer for it.

To refer to another thread...sounds like your own version of frenzy perhaps???
And yes, I think when we get past the point when the text on the screen is able to feed your fix/ scratch your itch...then you probably are safer.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[cascadiabound]

Absolutely, but the best ones were still the live and in person head trips.

It's heartbreaking when people agree with me on that

Okay. Yes. I was uncharacteristically jaded in that post.

Yet why, here, would someone agree with me on that? (have you been stalking through my post history?)

Um...should I have?

In any case, I don't know that words might be unable to feed the fix, there's just none to be had.

Okay that just makes me sigh when I read it.
If your PMs were enabled you would have a message from me rather than this...another oblique post on this thread.

I stubbornly cling to the belief that "words matter"
I am not perfect here. I make mistakes, post something that is inartful or the wrong tone; wish I'd taken a few more moments to say something just the right way...
But I never let myself forget that while we may each be interacting with one kind of screen or keyboard or another, these words and pixels are a product of an actual person. With feelings and experiences that matter. And the words we use to convey our thoughts are the best approximation of our actual selves.
So fix or no fix...words matter. What we do here is not inconsequential.

cb

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Penuche]

My experience is different, or perhaps my interpretation. I have heard 'bless him' or 'bless you' or the 'ah, bless' ( which I do not find endearing how others here report finding 'bless your heart' yielded in just this manner in 3ngland.

Perhaps that's because some devout Christians who dislike swearing and all kinds of profanity tend to use "bless him" etc to mean (when said by almost anyone else) "damn/curse/confound him".

I've certainly heard it used heavily in that context by people a generation or two older than me, and would avoid using it in written form without clarifying whether it's meant literally or not.

Simlarly, friends of mine who've worked in various service industries in the UK have become adept at using "Sir" and "Madam" in a way which might be verbally polite, but has a very noticeable tone of contempt or sarcasm when they think it's deserved.

Tldr; context is all.

 

[Lord_Johnny]

How I see it

I don't really like being called "Daddy". Now I get other dons have their own foibles, but "Daddy" isn't what I want to be to you. I'm in charge, yes, but I'm not your relation. If we're going to do roleplay, that's one thing, but if we're not, then don't call me "Daddy".

Now, I have my sluts trained to call me "sir" for most things. I think it shows good training and discipline to have the automatic "yes sir" or "no sir" down. Master is a bit of a turn on for me, so if you call me "master" then you're telling me you are asking for me to fuck you urgently.

 

[cascadiabound]

I don't really like being called "Daddy". Now I get other dons have their own foibles, but "Daddy" isn't what I want to be to you. I'm in charge, yes, but I'm not your relation. If we're going to do roleplay, that's one thing, but if we're not, then don't call me "Daddy".

Now, I have my sluts trained to call me "sir" for most things. I think it shows good training and discipline to have the automatic "yes sir" or "no sir" down. Master is a bit of a turn on for me, so if you call me "master" then you're telling me you are asking for me to fuck you urgently.

I understand you feeling this way. That you are squicked out about bring called "Daddy", however, as a point of clarification for those who engage in DD/lg interactions it has nothing to do with the man being her actual father or "relation" or a substitute thereof.

If you are interested in how folks around here understand this in their actual relationships, there are a number of threads that would make for edifying reading.
In the meantime, it is possible to express your preference for titles without suggesting that others are pseudo incestuous in their relationships.
Just saying.
IMHO, Master is reserved for only one person and is not used as a play way to express urgency. But to each there own.
cb

 

[MeekMe]

Ya know... I don't normally express my views in threads like this because they are unpopular. I hate the word "daddy." I dislike it in the way that other people dislike the word "moist." It's a word that just doesn't sound good to me. When I hear it, no matter the context, I hear the childish word for "father." It's a word I will never use with a lover and one that squicks me out when I see it used in that context.

As far as dd/lg goes, I don't care for the dynamic or the titles used within it. I understand what it is and often how it works. I also know that not all dd/lg has nothing to do with incest because there are plenty out there that do include that in the dynamic just as there are those that have no incestuous intentions.

The reason I rarely express my dislike for the word is that there is always someone that pops up to tell a person like me to "go get educated on the subject." Did that, hate the word more now.

 

[Miles Long]

Ya know... I don't normally express my views in threads like this because they are unpopular. I hate the word "daddy." I dislike it in the way that other people dislike the word "moist."

The only way the word "moist" gets better is to follow it with the word "crease". Really rolls off the tongue.

 

[MeekMe]

The only way the word "moist" gets better is to follow it with the word "crease". Really rolls off the tongue.

I like the word "moist" just fine. Maybe it's because I live in Florida, but "moist crease" sounds terribly uncomfortable. Humidity is a bitch.

 

[Miles Long]

I like the word "moist" just fine. Maybe it's because I live in Florida, but "moist crease" sounds terribly uncomfortable. Humidity is a bitch.

Humidity is a total bitch! I heard she even demands we call her Madam Humidity, Mistress of Moisture the second we step outside.

 

[MeekMe]

Humidity is a total bitch! I heard she even demands we call her Madam Humidity, Mistress of Moisture the second we step outside.

Are you sure it's only when we step outside? It's at 59% in my place right now.

 

[Miles Long]

Are you sure it's only when we step outside? It's at 59% in my place right now.

Ouch! I currently have my AC cranked up, and I will happily address it by any title it wants as long as it keeps my house cool.

 

[babslovesherdaddy]

Being from the south, I also say ma'am and sir to a lot of people. It's different when I say it to my Daddy though. I use it more in place of His name, or when I can't say Daddy because of being around other people.

I'm guilty of the capitalization thing when I post about Him on here. I didn't realize it was anything to be annoyed about. I like it though, it means something to me, so I'm going to keep doing it.

 

[Farawyn]

Being from the south, I also say ma'am and sir to a lot of people. It's different when I say it to my Daddy though. I use it more in place of His name, or when I can't say Daddy because of being around other people.

I'm guilty of the capitalization thing when I post about Him on here. I didn't realize it was anything to be annoyed about. I like it though, it means something to me, so I'm going to keep doing it.

I've seen a lot of posters do the caps thing. If you like it, do it.