Sketchbook

[Epmd607]

What makes you think that? Just because they are in some particular shape doesn't make the content any less readable

I think chipbutty was the first response on this thread, she said:

hey hey. this looks like a thread to keep an eye on. I enjoy shape poems so long as the shape lends something to the work while the words remain independent of the shaping for their poetic value.

I find the lines distracting. Is that a part of the formatting that can't be got around as it shows up when you post, or is it intrinsic to the look for you, Pabla?

----------

I agree with her. Shape poems are usually used as to make a crap poem seem better than it is. Shape poems mask weaknesses.

Then Palablabla said:

It's funny because I do believe playing around with those shapes in pen and paper led to a different kind of energy for the words, you know? Like I was paying attention to my handwriting and the shapes so the words didn't seem so important LOL. I've been trying to work on revising things lately, like all this pen and paper shit I have around here, so this is as good a place as any to start. And doing the shapes is a little like busy work, which can be very satisfying, like knitting or something

 

[Epmd607]

I'm trying to help him/her, someone's gotta tell them that they're missing something important. Like words having meaning.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Mine for Survivor

 

[Epmd607]

Mine for Survivor

I have a problem reading the fourth line due to the lightness of font against the background. I used to write poems in the same sort of language, like a puzzle to solve. It really is interesting to me because I seriously have dozens of poems that sound just like that one, like mysteries to solve.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I have a problem reading the fourth line due to the lightness of font against the background. I used to write poems in the same sort of language, like a puzzle to solve. It really is interesting to me because I seriously have dozens of poems that sound just like that one, like mysteries to solve.

passes over spectacles There are some faboulous concrete poems on here, one that was especially good was of a ballerina

 

[Epmd607]

passes over spectacles There are some faboulous concrete poems on here, one that was especially good was of a ballerina

The shape of the words should never be as or more important than the meaning of the words. Poetry is now based in the written word, but it's vital that we remember it was a performance based thing for thousands of years. Concentrating on the look of the words takes away from the heart of poetry, communication human to human, voice and body.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The shape of the words should never be as or more important than the meaning of the words. Poetry is now based in the written word, but it's vital that we remember it was a performance based thing for thousands of years. Concentrating on the look of the words takes away from the heart of poetry, communication human to human, voice and body.

Delusional Ballet read this and then tell me it has no beauty

 

[Epmd607]

Delusional Ballet read this and then tell me it has no beauty

The only beauty is in the words, the shape looks like a novel DOS prompt error I used to get. Shape can only be a curiosity. There's this guy Sam Winston who does shape art, check him out if you're into shapes of words. I like the poem which reads:

a ballet in the soft night
as the fog drifts over her form
I am lost in her perfect motion
a silent grace, subtle beauty
concealing strength and power
I wonder how she can drift
and fly in such harmony
she becomes the music
in her every move
a lilt of the head, a soft note
a bend of the wrist
a soft pause, a bow
she fades soft into the fog
covering the morning,
into the fog of my dreams

---
I'd actually make some suggestions on this poem, but readers might look past some small things because of the novel shape. The poem masks tiny flaws that the traditional form reveals.

http://www.samwinston.com/Work/Romeo-Juliet

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The only beauty is in the words, the shape looks like a novel DOS prompt error I used to get. Shape can only be a curiosity. There's this guy Sam Winston who does shape art, check him out if you're into shapes of words. I like the poem which reads:

a ballet in the soft night
as the fog drifts over her form
I am lost in her perfect motion
a silent grace, subtle beauty
concealing strength and power
I wonder how she can drift
and fly in such harmony
she becomes the music
in her every move
a lilt of the head, a soft note
a bend of the wrist
a soft pause, a bow
she fades soft into the fog
covering the morning,
into the fog of my dreams

---
I'd actually make some suggestions on this poem, but readers might look past some small things because of the novel shape. The poem masks tiny flaws that the traditional form reveals.

http://www.samwinston.com/Work/Romeo-Juliet

We shall just have to agree to disagree then

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Shape poems are games for children. They mask an inability to convey adult emotions.

This is a sketchbook. It's mostly for me to try out different things, see how they look, see if listening to intuition over listening to my imagination of the audience might lead to something different for me.

As I mentioned in the op, I believe sometimes I run into the mistake of not writing for myself. When I do visual art, I am intuitive and make marks that feel good, I suppose I am using this sketchbook as a way to try that out with written words.

That, and I find the shapes and extra characters like underscores and things a very meditative way to write. It's a nice way to pass the time. Like moving sand around in a zen garden or snipping branches on a bonzai tree.

I think it's a mistake to think that all work here or in general has to be oriented toward specifically conveying feeling. I think feeling can be conveyed in ways the artist doesn't intend, I think that happens all the time. I guess I'm trying to do an end around Doing my own thing and not worrying so much about the reader. I am very interested in that part of myself that pretends to be an outside reader while I am writing something. I suppose I am trying to suspend that voice a little bit. I suppose I am trying to listen to something different within myself. I suppose I feel good about suspending that voice. I believe that is where I am, why I am coming here now, it has a lot to do with past experiences and present circumstances. I think you are not there and may not be in a place to understand that, but it's okay.

I appreciate your coming to look at the thread and taking the time to comment. Just please know these are not strictly formal poems that are meant to convey something specific to the readers. This is thread is just for playing around. Some people maybe would rather play around in private, but I find it exhilarating to do so in "public." I guess I'm a bit of an exhibitionist like that LOL! I am grateful to anybody reading this for giving me the opportunity to do what I need to do here with people watching. LOL.

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Mine for Survivor

Wow! Beautiful. I'm very jealous. I'm going to use colors, too, sometime. Did you make that in a different program?

Delusional Ballet read this and then tell me it has no beauty

I agree that is very beautiful, UYS. Thanks for pointing it out. I owe you youtube clips.

Mods, please tell me if these links are unacceptable and I will remove. Thanks.

concrete poems (has music):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC3e7rmSYM4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1JpB1sTJuY



********

Regarding the lines and extra figures in the poems I posted on this thread, I don't really have a logical explanation. I just like them. I like making underscores. It is very difficult to do the color thing because the html coding makes it difficult to compose the poems correctly, you get [color in the box while you're trying to type and it's hard to line things up. Underscores I dig, and I think they look like lines in a notebook.

I'm not too worried about not having an explanation. I'm trying to be more intuitive and less rational Wish me luck! I'm a very rational person so it's not easy

 

[Epmd607]

...
I think it's a mistake to think that all work here or in general has to be oriented toward specifically conveying feeling. I think feeling can be conveyed in ways the artist doesn't intend, I think that happens all the time...

WrongWrongWrong
WrongWrongWrong
WrongWrongWrong
WrongWrongWrong
WrongWrongWrong

Isn't this how we're supposed to respond on message boards when someone states an opinion?

All language has to convey meaning, all poetry has to specifically convey meaning by way of emotion.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Wow! Beautiful. I'm very jealous. I'm going to use colors, too, sometime. Did you make that in a different program?



I agree that is very beautiful, UYS. Thanks for pointing it out. I owe you youtube clips.

Mods, please tell me if these links are unacceptable and I will remove. Thanks.

concrete poems (has music):
http://www.xxxxxxx.com/watch?v=yC3e7rmSYM4&feature=related
http://www.xxxxxxx.com/watch?v=L1JpB1sTJuY

xxxxxxx=youtube

********

Regarding the lines and extra figures in the poems I posted on this thread, I don't really have a logical explanation. I just like them. I like making underscores. It is very difficult to do the color thing because the html coding makes it difficult to compose the poems correctly, you get [color in the box while you're trying to type and it's hard to line things up. Underscores I dig, and I think they look like lines in a notebook.

I'm not too worried about not having an explanation. I'm trying to be more intuitive and less rational Wish me luck! I'm a very rational person so it's not easy

That'll teach me to click on strange links! I got sex sites!!

 

[Palba_Noruda]

WrongWrongWrong
WrongWrongWrong
WrongWrongWrong
WrongWrongWrong
WrongWrongWrong

Isn't this how we're supposed to respond on message boards when someone states an opinion?

Yes, now you're catching on I went with a seven by seven arrangement. Though your three by five arrangement is pleasing, too. Generally, I think they say odd numbers are more aesthetically pleasing than even numbers. Of course, according to this little sketchbook thread, really you only need to aesthetically please yourself.

Now don't you feel just a little bit better having written that here? I do believe you're getting into the spirit of the sketchbook!

all poetry has to ...

I think I would disagree with anything that comes after those four words, doesn't really matter what it is.

That'll teach me to click on strange links! I got sex sites!!

Oops! LOL. I meant to say you should replace the "xxxxxxx" with "youtube" when you copy and paste the address into your web browser. Hope I didn't get you into too much trouble

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Yes, now you're catching on I went with a seven by seven arrangement. Though your three by five arrangement is pleasing, too. Generally, I think they say odd numbers are more aesthetically pleasing than even numbers. Of course, according to this little sketchbook thread, really you only need to aesthetically please yourself.

Now don't you feel just a little bit better having written that here? I do believe you're getting into the spirit of the sketchbook!


I think I would disagree with anything that comes after those four words, doesn't really matter what it is.



Oops! LOL. I meant to say you should replace the "xxxxxxx" with "youtube" when you copy and paste the address into your web browser. Hope I didn't get you into too much trouble

I didn't copy paste I clicked on the link and I will take your word for it but leave well alone

 

[bflagsst]

"Poetry, verse, agree in referring to the work of a poet. The difference between poetry and verse is usually the difference between substance and form. Poetry is lofty thought or impassioned feeling expressed in imaginative words: Elizabethan poetry. Verse is any expression in words which simply conforms to accepted metrical rules and structure: the differences between prose and verse."

"Poetry is lofty thought or impassioned feeling expressed in imaginative words"


I don't think we're making this stuff up, when we say emotion and expression go hand in hand when a good poem is being written.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

I didn't copy paste I clicked on the link and I will take your word for it but leave well alone

I had the same experience.
Should be no problem with a youtube link - the I am Music thread has many such.
The xxx stuff should also be OK.
I think the basic rule is that you can't be promoting some site.

 

[Palba_Noruda]

I had the same experience.
Should be no problem with a youtube link - the I am Music thread has many such.
The xxx stuff should also be OK.
I think the basic rule is that you can't be promoting some site.

Gotcha, thanks EO!

 

[Palba_Noruda]

As I mentioned before, I'm working on a project and I need to use this place to stick some collections of words, like a work surface or something. So that's what these next posts are, there's no reason to read them or anything, they're not really poems.

You can still drop in a say hello if you want

 

[Palba_Noruda]

not really a poem, just fiddling, nothing to see here

Downstairs the
__________girl in the
______________red dress
__________________bad things
_____________________with strong arms
________________________ to xx
____________________the left xxxxxxx
__________________she looks xxxxxxxxx
_______________behind there xxxxxxxxxxxxx
_______________one wave xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
______________forgets the time xxxxxxxxxxxx
_____________before the red dress xxxxxxxxxxxx
______________when she looked xxxxxxxxxxxxx
______________absolutely behind xxxxxxxxxxxx
____________the background with xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
______________blue trees xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
____________her head swallowed xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_____________the canyon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
____________her red dress the sunset xxxxxxxxxxx
______________I turned to go xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
________________I couldn't move away xxxxxxx
_________________the red canyon xxxxxxxxxx
___________________trail took me xxxxxxxx
_____________________with strong arms

 

[Palba_Noruda]

After the Office Theme Song

Heard you had to walk to work today
Heard your kids didn't want to play
And wasn't the sky all snowed and gray
Even your laugh couldn't keep the blue away
Even your coat couldn't keep the cold away

 

[Palba_Noruda]

After the Office Theme Song

Heard you had to walk to work today
Heard your kids didn't want to play
And wasn't the sky all snowed and gray
Even your laugh couldn't keep the blue away
Even your coat couldn't keep the cold away

Heard you had to walk to work today
Heard the critics all panned your play
Said your lines seemed old and frayed
Even your smile seems to say
What even your friends won't dare to say

Heard you had to walk to work today
Your broken back has hurt for days
And your shouts and jokes don't seem to pay
When even your kids will leave one day
Even your heart will break one day

 

[AoNoDoY]

oooops

 

[Palba_Noruda]

_____l__l___l______l____l__________l_______l_______l________
_____l__l___l______l____l__________l_______l_______l________
_____l__l___l______l____l__________l_______l_______l________
_____l__l___l______l____l__________l_______l_______l________
_____l__l___l______l____l__________l_______l_______l________
_____l__l___l______l____l__________l_______l_______l________
_____l__l_._l_____._l____l__________l_______l_______l________
_____r_.l___l____.__l____l______.___l_______l_______t_________
_______l___e______l____a_________l_______l________________
_______l______.___l_________._____l_______p_______________
_______h_________l______________m______________________
_________________s_____________________________________

 

[Palba_Noruda]

______________________I know where he'll take us______________
____________________________cross your legs_____________________
________________________________Make your balance______________
_____________________________________eat your pancakes__________
___________________________Once I remember_______________________
___________________________what you said
______________________________you'll get_________________________
_________________________________red eyes_____________________
____________________________________and dirty teeth__________
______________________waking up ain't always pretty__________________
____________________________on the misty beach____________________
________________________________pull yourself up_____________
__________________________________on your arms and feet_________________________
______________________________wet dress is ripped__________________________
_____________________________heavy as______________________________
______________________________your head__________________________
___________________________twice_____________________________
________________________done________________________________
_____________________right___________________________________
_______________________still__________________________________
_______________ to get good______________________________
____________later for a bunch of yellow rooms__________________________
______________the crowded dance the crest_________________________
_________________fallen hue crash_______________________________
____________________city____________________________________