Soliloquium: Reflections on my World.

[Veroe]

Just wanted to say thank you so much for the collection of masked venuses in lace you put in for me in Bliss. Thank you, they were all so beautiful and enticing, Yeishia.

 

[yeishia]

Just wanted to say thank you so much for the collection of masked venuses in lace you put in for me in Bliss. Thank you, they were all so beautiful and enticing, Yeishia.

You are most welcome Veroe when I saw them I thought of you . Thank you also for the sticker I really appreciate the sentiment.Your support really was appreciated... I am so embarrassed by my silly meltdown.

I slip into Sol, bearing several light peach colored roses I had found on her doorstep, and added a single dark red one to the middle. I set them on the table in front of her before joining her on the couch.

"Happy anniversary my sweet Angel."

I fling my arms around him happily, surprised as he picks me up bodily to twirl me around the room before settling me on his lap.

"Thank you my dark angel you remembered... I am so happy to be able to share this moment with you."

My son buys me a peach rose for every year I am in remission from Ovarian Cancer and that Rider has chosen to start another tradition, a red rose each year from him, it is almost overwhelming.

I place my hands on either side of his earnest face "Thank you ," I whisper before placing my devoted lips on his...

 

[Veroe]

You are most welcome Veroe when I saw them I thought of you . Thank you also for the sticker I really appreciate the sentiment.Your support really was appreciated... I am so embarrassed by my silly meltdown.

Everyone deserves a meltdown every now and then, Yeishia. It may indeed be silly but its also cleansing.

Just know that when you do feel like crying or melting down you have friends who love you and will support you and be there to hold you close as you let it all out.

Hugs

 

[Last_Rider]

I return yeishia's soft kiss as we relax on the couch together.

"You deserve happiness my Angel, and I do what I can to make sure you get it."

 

[yeishia]

I smile happily as i snuggle closer,

"Thank you my love and you know that your happiness means the same to me?"

I turn in his arms my eyes locking on his my expression very serious.

"I would put your happiness above my own ..you know that my dark Angel?"

 

[yeishia]

I return to Soll to find myself alone.

I make myself a pineapple smoothie and take it out with me to my secret garden. A stroll in such beautiful surroundings will inspire my muse I am sure. I love this part of my private world the scents, the smells, the sounds are all balm to my senses this morning.

I am sad to see the Sugarbirds seemed to have flown away.

I idly wonder if they have returned to Africa. I will see them again this summer when I make my own trip there, ironically I shall be staying at Sugar bird manor. I had hoped to have friends to visit while there but sadly that would no longer happen.

Still I was looking forward to the experience greatly...

Returning to my own small lounge I sit before my writing desk, diary or posts?

I pull out my diary and pick up my quill only to stare sightlessly at the empty page, it had been so long since I had written there.

 

[Annisthyrienne]

*Slipping quietly into the sanctuary of my friend, my thoughts turning to our last conversation, I come bearing a gift, just to brighten her day. Few have showed me the care and concern that she has, especially when I was hurting and vulnerable. I don't forget that.

I bring my gift to a suitable spot where I'm sure she'll notice. I hope it will bring a smile to her face, as she often has to mine.

Thank you for being my friend, Yeishia.

 

[yeishia]

As I stare at the blank page of my diary I am vaguely aware of flowers arriving on the side table, absently I wonder why no one ever seems to want to stay and chat with me.

It 1s because you are boring Yeishia, the demon in my mind tells me frankly.

Closing my diary I move to read the enclosed card and smile.

A song keeps running on a tread mill in my mind it is driving me nuts this morning.

Mad World

Adam Lambert.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad World

I return to my writing desk and re-open my dairy staring sightlessly at the empty page once more.



​

 

[Last_Rider]

I slip into Sol, moving beside my love and sit with her.

"Don't listen to that little devil. Listen to me. You are wonderful, and loved."

I press a kiss to her temple, then one to her lips.

 

[yeishia]

I smile at him saying nothing simply snuggling closer .

 

[Last_Rider]

My arms wrap around her, holding her close with a smile on my face. I press a kiss to the top of her head, relaxing.

"I love you, and I want only you. Don't doubt it or I'll have to punish you."

I grin, inhaling her scent and sighing. She's perfect.

 

[yeishia]

I listen to his sincere words my serious eyes on his, deciding not to comment I simply wrap my arms around his waist resting my head on his shoulder as he holds me close. " I am trying, " I whisper for his ears alone.

 

[Last_Rider]

I slip from the embrace, having found something that I think belongs here. I place it above the fireplace.

((Full credit to the creator http://omen2501.deviantart.com/))

 

[yeishia]

I watch him hang the huge painting above our fireplace my eyes are as wide as saucers. "It is sheer perfection my love... tis us," I whisper my voice filled with awe. "Thank you so very much."

 

[yeishia]

Returning to my favorite part of Lit I snuggle down before the fireplace content and happy. I am in an introspective mood this day. On the heels of the knowledge that The Vassal Academy had survived 2 whole years came the realization that I had been a member of Lit for 2 years and one month. I could hardly believe it, how time had flown.

Since I had arrived I had experienced so much joy, so much sorrow and also so much personal growth. I had found myself again, here in this special realm.Today as I sat here thinking it suddenly hit me like a ton of brick square between my eyes I sat up straighter with the physicality of it! I no longer thought of Marauder...I had not since….forever…hmmm…well before Christmas I think. The knowledge was truly liberating so much so that I got up and twirled around the room laughing with the pure joy of it.

I was finally free!

I had found some special friendships here on Lit and the fact that, by his choice alone he was not counted amongst them, was entirely his loss and not mine. I could live peacefully with that thought finally, I smiled softly tucking it and his memory away in the corners of my peaceful mind.

Returning to the comfy couch my thoughts naturally turned to my dark angel I was so looking forward to the day to come….

 

[Last_Rider]

I slip back into Sol, and find my Sensual Angel sitting happily on her couch. I fall beside her, wrapping an arm about her shoulders and holding her close.

"Congratulations, the Academy is two years old. Quite a feat, and through your hard work and dedication. I am very proud of you."

My lips find her neck as we cuddle together.

 

[yeishia]

I smile as I feel his familiar warm surrounding me, my dark angel brings me serenity I have not been privileged to in a long long time.

"Thank you my love I fear you are too kind as always, Vassal holds a special place in my heart as do you."

I wrap my arms around him snuggling closer enjoying his special warmth his lips on my sensitive neck.

I am content just to be together with him in this single moment in time...

 

[yeishia]

As I sit here with only the firelight for company I think of the people who judge and have judged me; my friendships, my choices, my relationships...those I love.

Those sad sad people who would condemn those around them both in the real world and here on Lit rather than try and understand.

Diversity it is what makes our world unique and truly a beautiful place.

This song is for you and I my dark angel

and those who are different, special in their own unique ways.

As are we two.




Beautiful


Christina Aguilera

Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful
Then suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The pieces gone, left the puzzle undone
Is that the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what we say
(no matter what we say)
We're the song inside the tune
Full of beautiful mistakes

And everywhere we go
(Everywhere we go)
The sun will always shine
(sun will always shine)
And tomorrow we might wake on the other side
All the other times

We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words can't bring us down
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring us down today



You and I my dark angel ,..We're the song inside the tune
Full of beautiful mistakes ​

 

[Annisthyrienne]

*My quest for a place of my own has led my weary steps here, to the refuge of a dear friend. I have yet to find what I'm looking for, but I know that, like my friend Yeishia, I will have my own place in this world. It's out there, waiting for me to find it. Perhaps Gladiator will share it with me, but first it must be discovered.

I slip the pack form my shoulders, the borrowed clothing inside, along with the food I packed form Cait's mansion, now nearly gone. I have been on my quest longer than I had planned. The journey is far across all the realms of Literotica. But here in this place of peace, this refuge from the troubling concerns of the real world and even those of Literotica, when it can be less than friendly at times, I will take my rest. I will await the beautiful lady of this place, and lay my burdens down here to take comfort in her arms for a while.

I sit in the lovely garden, listening to the songbirds and smelling the fragrant scent of the flower blossoms on the breeze. My mind eases of its many distracting troubles, and soon a feeling, scarce of late, comes to me. It is contentment. As I sit, enjoying the garden, I let my mind drift back to the memories of my first visit to this place. To the time I held Yeishia in my arms, and she held me in return. I recall the feeling of her soft lips on mine, of her body pressed to me, making me feel such things......things that beautiful fantasies are made of. Now she belongs to another, and that is good. But sometimes I remember.......

 

[yeishia]

I slip into Soll from the real world just long enough to seek out my dearest friend in the secret gardens, hugging her I place in her hand a small golden key.

Taking her hand in mine I lead her from the gardens back into the main area, a small detour and I show her a door recessed into one of the walls it is almost invisible.

I watch smiling softly as she opens it.

The huge suite that is revealed is totally empty. “This is yours Thyri my friend for as long as it suits you, all you have to do is close your eyes and picture it as you would like, the magic of Sollliquium will do the rest…”

I hold her close to me pressing my lips to her soft cheek, “Rest safely I shall return as soon as the real world releases me, meanwhile, my home is your home for as long as you need, no one can hurt you here."

 

[Annisthyrienne]

I slip into Soll from the real world just long enough to seek out my dearest friend in the secret gardens, hugging her I place in her hand a small golden key.

Taking her hand in mine I lead her from the gardens back into the main area, a small detour and I show her a door recessed into one of the walls it is almost invisible.

I watch smiling softly as she opens it.

The huge suite that is revealed is totally empty. “This is yours Thyri my friend for as long as it suits you, all you have to do is close your eyes and picture it as you would like, the magic of Sollliquium will do the rest…”

I hold her close to me pressing my lips to her soft cheek, “Rest safely I shall return as soon as the real world releases me, meanwhile, my home is your home for as long as you need, no one can hurt you here."

*My eyes light up as I see my friend arrive. As always, her embrace is warm and welcoming, comforting to me. I could linger there, feeling safe and welcome for ages. But she has other plans for me. The key is a golden surprise and my expression reveals my curiosity, one delicate brow lifting in question.

She says nothing in answer. She just takes my hand, leading me to a hidden door. Opening it reveals to me a space ripe with possibilities. Her words to me fill my heart with warmth for her. She would gift this to me, part of her sanctum?

Her sweet kiss on my cheek tingles against my blush. I know what her space means to her. That she would welcome me here means a lot to me. "Yeishia, I don't know what to say to this. Thank you. Thank you so much. I will stay for a time and rest. Thank you for making me welcome here."

 

[yeishia]

Returning to Bliss I see that Thyri is nowhere around perhaps she is in her quarters or the garden. I move without thinking to stand in front of the mirror reading for the thousandth time the words Veroe had placed there as a potent reminder.

“I am loved.”

Today I do not need the gentle reminder…my fingers trace the collar that now adorns my neck both here on Lit and in the real world. Until he slipped it around my neck I had not truly understood the significance of the bare neck I had lived with for what seemed like an eternity and in reality was barely 2 years.

A small drop in life’s vast oceans.

The graceful collar encircling my slender neck was an integral part of all that I was. This time it graced my neck for all the right reasons, last time it had been put there simply to feed its owners failing ego with little regard for my own fragile one.

It had taken me such a long time to realize that my collaring had not been about me at all .

Enough of introspection it changed nothing in this instance.

All was as it should be, I loved and was loved, I belonged to a wonderful man just as he belonged to me…

I had come full circle I was finally happy.

I would cherish every single moment as if it were my very last one.

 

[Annisthyrienne]

*Stopping in the doorway, watching her, I see her pensive touch on the collar she wears. It is a new thing, I don't recall seeing it before. But it suits her. watching her reverie, I'm dimly aware of my own hand coming up to touch my bare throat before I remember there is nothing there to touch anymore. Things change. It is the nature of the world. Nothing ever stays the same, and I suppose that is the way it should be.

But seeing her reminds me that I have other kinds of relationships, friendships. I am not alone.

I step quietly up behind her, saying nothing, just smiling at her in the mirror as I wrap my arms around her from behind to share a silent hug. We're just two friends taking comfort in that simple act in the brief time I have before I must attend to an errand. But it is enough. Enough to let her know I am glad to have her as my friend.

 

[yeishia]

I bask in her hug happy to share my happiness with my friend, hoping to help her heal as she had helped me earlier this year.

She is correct everything changes it is how it should be. The main thing is to learn and grow from our experiences both good and bad. Sometimes we have no control over what is done to us but we do have control over how we respond, over how we choose to behave from that point onwards.

I choose to send the ones who have hurt me whether deliberately or otherwise, love and forgiveness, then I simply move forwards trying not to look backwards if I can.

Meeting her eyes in the mirror I smile and begin to quote a favorite saying of mine by Guillaume Apollinaire

"'Come to the edge', he said.
They said, 'We are afraid'.
'Come to the edge', he said.
They came.
He pushed them...
And they flew."

Turning to face her I kiss her cheek and take her hand in mine before leading her through the huge french windows into my secret garden.

"Some fly with me." I whisper gently.

 

[Veroe]

This was pic I came across that reminded of a certain superhot scene in LPR I just wanted to share, Yeishia.
I swear I am going to find the time to write up my response today.​