Soliloquium: Reflections on my World.

[Veroe]

Something I saw and was reminded of you.

Both romance and eroticism-that's Yeishia.

 

[yeishia]

Something I saw and was reminded of you.

Both romance and eroticism-that's Yeishia.

I slip back into my own domain intending to breathe some life into my neglected space once more; it had lain dormant for far to long.

My eyes widened as I spied the painting...twas me ...almost. Blushing I read the small card which acompied it.. it was from Veroe.

My eyes misted over amazed by how intuitive he was...this is how I saw myself almost, the likeness was uncanny.

Body and breasts almost identiacal my hair more wavy and a little longer its colour the same but devoid of the lighter highlights which played peek-a- boo amongst my own locks like living things.

She was beautiful...I was not.

I hugged it to me wondering where to hang it. It would be a tad narsistic to hange it above the fireplace I thought smiling softly but...

" I adore it Veroe," I whisper to the cosmos knowing he will hear. "thank you so very much"

For now I would hang it above my writing desk , later I would carefully choose its place. Maybe in my bedroom proper or perhaps I would take it to Serendipity.

After I lovingly hung the painting I simply stood in wonder for a moment before moving the the long mirror on the wall which also held a message from Veroe...

You are loved...

I looked from the painting to my own image and smiled.

Finally stepping away I prepared the coffee pot and tended to my fire before curling up with a mug of my favorite coffee which I had of course borrowed from the china Pearl...

 

[amchentai]

*Walks in holding my invite and looks around seeing the newly hung Photo, I give a whistle and look around and nod.*

Very nice place.

Morning: *yawns having fallen asleep in a chair, stretches and looks around a bit more*

 

[yeishia]

Slips into Soll clutching her bears sorry to have missed Amc and hurries to tuck them in her bed....

Finally I return to the empty living room and pop on some music before stretching out on the comfy couch.

As the music fills the room my mind is soon transported a million miles away....

"A Thousand Years"

Christina Perri

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more...



Cant Forget You

Moa

I can still taste you on my lips
I can still feel you touchin'
I can still hear the whisper in my ears

I can't forget you

I can still remember
When you held me in your arms
Like there's no tomorrow
No tomorrow at all

I can still remember
The way we used to dance
On the edge of life

You fill my senses

Can't forget you
Can't desert you
Can't stop
Thinking about you

Can't forget
Can't desert you
Can't stop
Thinking about you

I can still see you in my eyes
I can still feal you in my arms
I can still hear the whisper in my ears

I can't forget you

I can stlll remember
The things you used to do
Do to me so gently

I can still remember
The way we used to dance
On the edge of life

You fill my senses

Darling

Can't forget you
Can't desert you
Can't stop
Thinking about you

Can't forget you
Can't desert you
Can't stop

I can still..

Can't forget
Can't desert you
Can't stop

Thinking about you
Thinking about you



I Love You

Sara Mclaughlan

I have a smile
Stretched from ear to ear
To see you walking down the road

We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
The world around disappears

Just you and me
On this island of hope
A breath between us could be miles

Let me surround you
My sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek

Oh and every time I’m close to you
There’s too much I can’t say
And you just walk away

And I forgot
To tell you
I love you
And the night’s
Too long
And cold here
Without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the strength to say I need you so

Oh and every time I’m close to you
There’s too much I can’t say
And you just walk away

And I forgot
To tell you
I love you
And the night’s
Too long
And cold here
Without you



With tears running silently down my face I slip back into my bedroom where pulling my bears into a tight embrace I slip between the silken sheets and curl up around them. The music continues to wrap around my soul as sleep claims me for its own.

Dreamland is no longer a place of refuge...it is a vast aching wilderness.



​

 

[yeishia]

Slowly I wake up and stretch music is still playing throughout Soll eyes wide open I simply listen unable to move ..just listen...feel ..remember.

Is Jesus your Pal?

Gus Gus

Is Jesus your pal?
Do you call out His name
When your conscience is shivering?

Do you need someone too
Just like those people who
Find peace in someones promises?
You sure don't need my promises

So come and sit on my box
Enjoy the view of this water
Where my lifeboat is sinking

If you open your eyes
Take a look at this mess
Could you fake your reflection, child?

If you reach out for more
You'll find nothing but sorrow
Cause knowledge is hollow
And pride is hard to swallow

So come and sit on my box
Enjoy the view of this water
Where my lifeboat is sinking

The refrain ends and the music stops...silence.

I gave him back to God...is Jesus my friend...he took my gift...is Jesus my friend?


Rolling over I realize it is mid afternoon and I can swim, a strong Piscean has no real need of a life boat.

I abandon the sinking boat and head for the open seas smiling my long hair streaming out behind my naked form.

His hand in mine.

La la la la la la la





​

 

[yeishia]

Silence is golden...the muisic stopped and at some point I must have left the sanctary of my bedroom and wandered into my gardens ...I barely remembered now I got there...bare foot...alone...I had become one with the starry night...one with nature.

Smiling softly now as I sat curled up before the cosy fire I marveled at how lucky I was...some one had recently told me that some crosses must be born on a lonely road of sorrows, that some crosses must be born alone. I had understood his pain, for I had born such crosses. Mostly I had always born them alone...

I opened up my ipad I had a post owing yet the very last thing on my mind tonight was this particular post. I too was alone and lonely and I simply could not concentrate..

 

[The_gladiator]

She had mentioned that he was always welcome. As he was feeling lonely this night he thought he would visit his friend Yeishia.

Light footsteps carried him to her door and he stood watching her with her iPad. He wondered if this was a good time, or would she send him away. He cleared his throat, "May I join you my lady?"

 

[yeishia]

Last night my real world had claimed me and I had missed my first visitor in a long while, it was the way of life I supposed. He called me friend which was very sweat considering that we barely knew one another.

My eyes clouded over, I didn't need a friend, this girl needed...

I shrugged knowing that I wouldn't find what I needed in this virtual realm because of course nothing was real here, excerpt perhaps the stories I crafted with the help another. Even they were but a small oasis nestled in a puddle of hurt and confusion.

I needed to finally reenter the world I had all but left behind, I was to take my first steps this upcoming Thanksgiving...I found that I was scared half to death.

Sometime fear froze one in firmly in place yet I know in my heart that I needed to take the fledgling steps if I were to survive. He was no longer a part of my old world...I would be safe there, Christian had promised me that.

I smiled softly putting down my laptop to made breakfast; a pineapple smoothie. I would then head over to the China Pearl for coffee perhaps and then get down to work on the posts I still had owing.

Or I might crawl into bed in my real world and sleep for I still felt very ill...

 

[yeishia]

Having spent the better part of the day in bed I find myself unable to sleep. I slip into Soll and make myself a hot chocolate which I take to my writing desk. Sitting down I start to flesh out the idea for a new story idea. I had promised a certain someone a bare bones outline on the morrow. I also owed posts...

 

[yeishia]

Tonight found me sitting on my couch in the fire-lit room staring at the decadent chocolate cake I had lovingly baked. It was his birthday and it would be not be forgotten.I carefully lit the candles and made my wish for him. Blowing them out I smiled softly knowing that some sacrificed were worth the sadness that came with them.

Leaving the cake in the middle of the coffee table untouched I moved barefoot to open the French Windows. I walked into my secret gardens. Autumn had come and on this chilly night the twinkling stars shone brightly as I made my way to the small pond I so loved. The chill in the night wound its way into my scantily clad form masking the pain in my heart on this most special night...

"Happy Birthday my dark angel" I whispered blowing a gentle kiss into the cosmos.

 

[yeishia]

Double Post

 

[yeishia]

Reluctantly returning from the gardens chilled to the bone I make myself a hot chocolate laced with rum and curl up in front of the fireplace staring into the dwindling embers...

Not Ready To Make Nice

The Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

What it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting...
​

The rum settled me some what allowing false sense of well being to wrap around me like a soft blanket.

After more than four years of hiding out on Lit I had ventured back into my real world.

Slowly with baby steps...my small ventures had left me more confused than ever...

Could I trust in that way again, give myself over in totality to another?

Should I take over... it was safer right?

I instinctively knew the answer, Lit had at least taught me that... I could be no other person than myself...the woman I was destined to be...on my knees at the feet of the one who would complete me.

It would take strength and courage to trust again...

The music changed and my eyes closed against the pain of memories I would sooner forget.

Imagination
Searching for a destiny that's mine
There's another place another time
Touching many hearts along the way, yeah

Hoping that I'll never have to say
It's just an illusion, illusion, illusion
Follow your emotions anywhere
Is it really magic in the air?

Never let your feelings get you down
Open up your eyes and look around
It's just an illusion, illusion, illusion

Could it be that it's just an illusion
Putting me back in all this confusion?
Could it be that it's just an illusion now?
Could it be that it's just an illusion
Putting me back in all this confusion?
Could it be that it's just an illusion now?

Could it be a picture in my mind?
Never sure exactly what I'll find
Only in my dreams I turn you on
Here for just a moment then you're gone
It's just an illusion, illusion, illusion

Could it be that it's just an illusion
Putting me back in all this confusion?
Could it be that it's just an illusion now?
Could it be that it's just an illusion
Putting me back in all this confusion?
Could it be that it's just an illusion now?
​

I so needed a hug, soft arms wrapped securely around me right about now.

Wishful thinking...placing my empty mug on the table I snuggled deeper into my soft blanket wanting nothing more than to escape into the dreamland I so often preferred of late...

 

[yeishia]

My essence...

​

 

[yeishia]

Alone...

​

 

[yeishia]

Love me...

 

[yeishia]

Torn...

Torn

Natalie Imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings fine Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, Im already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, Im already torn. torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, Im already torn



​

 

[Mav Unlimited]

 

[yeishia]

I slip back into the home of my heart and see the picture Mav has left for me and smile softly.

People come and go in my virtual world it is inevitable. I am pleased that he has returned even if his stay is short.

I am reminded once again the need to cherish every blessed moment of every day as if it were my very last.

I am reminded to love the people who are important to me with out reservation giving them all of who I am like a prescious gift.

I am reminded not to judge but to accept them warts and all ...as I would have them accept me.

Living in the moment was sometimes hard for this girl ...but I was getting much better at it finally.u

I had few regrets for having met the people I had loved and lost for they had brought me joy and helped me grow into the woman I now was.

Above all elase they had left me with a store house of very special memories.

I would change not a single moment of the time they had spent in the sphere of my special world.

My only regret were the goodbyes ofttimes left unsaid.

It seems that they to were inevitable...

​

 

[yeishia]

For Yeishia

Slips in carrying stolen booty

 

[Veroe]

Glad you found and appreciated that pic Yeishia. I thought of putting it in Bliss...but unless I'm very mistaken (not at all outside the realm of possibility here) you generally dislike pics submitted there with text to explain them.

What did you think of the reminders for Dom and Rose. Those are mostly just to remind us (Well...me mostly) of the tone and sensuality of the power exchange we want in inferno house like the Mine Video did to get the ball rolling for us.

BTW: Now that I finally conquered that post for VQS that was kicking my ass the last few days I'll get to answering the PM you sent me.

 

[yeishia]

Snap! As you were writing this I was answering it in your thread.

How is that for symbiotic thinking

* giggles* VQS? And here I was thinking that you were working on a post for inferno * pouts*

 

[Veroe]

Snap! As you were writing this I was answering it in your thread.

How is that for symbiotic thinking

* giggles* VQS? And here I was thinking that you were working on a post for inferno * pouts*

That synchronicity is a little strange, not bad, just...a little bit eerie.

VQS=Vampire Queen's Servant (my thread with HottieKatie). That post just refused to be written no matter how hard I tried to write it and I kinda became obsessed with it for a few days. (that tends to happen to me sometimes). I think bringing more of the political intrigue stuff from the books in this adaptation is making it a better story than my attempts at it before, but it stalls me sometimes trying to work my way through it without burying poor Katie (Another co-writer who hasn't read the books) under too much information to deal with in her response to it.

Right now I'm trying to get back on schedule writing a post for Asa while answering the PM you sent me. If I manage to do that I will start Inferno by the weekend.

 

[yeishia]

*'smiles softly *

For the most part I like that you are a slow poster like myself Veroe.

I find that this weekend for the very first time that I am all caught up in my posts owed and simply waiting.

I am thinking perhaps to do ...The priest... as a solo piece.

 

[yeishia]

Say something

Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’ll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I’m still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

Say something, I’m giving up on you
And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
And anywhere, I would’ve followed you

Say something, I’m giving up on you

Say something, I’m giving up on you
Say something

A Great Big World Ft. Christina Aguilera


​

 

[yeishia]

A friend in need is...