Soliloquium: Reflections on my World.

[yeishia]

The living area

The Secret Gardens.

My private Bedroom

My writing Desk

Soon to be added dance studio and tea room...​

After I had done my shopping walked my dogs not once but twice returned to Lit thinking that it was time to visit one of my own lounges. Two were stalled and needed to be tended to and so it was I ended up in Solliquium once more.

I pushed open the heavy door and stood just within the threshold my eyes traveling sadly over my familiar belongings. The once beloved place of my heart was as it should be kept clean and dust free by the Vassal Academy staff.

Stepping across the threshold I stopped again and closed my eyes calling on the inherent magic of this cyber realm, my intent to banish Winter. I was the Mistress of this domain and it would be as I desired.

Opening my eyes I smiled moving to the huge double French windows I threw them open breathing in the scent of the various blossoms it was evening and carefree fireflies could be seen flitting amongst the trees in the moonlight. Doors open the living room became part of my gardens, the effect was evocative and ethereal.

I would go barefoot later for a walk; perhaps see who in the pond had survived the winter ice...maybe I would even take a dip in the natural hot springs

Maybe I would simply disappear once more...

Making my way to my small kitchen I poured myself a glass of Merlot and carefully carried it to my comfy overstuffed chair where I curled up sipping and thinking my mind a million miles away.

 

[yeishia]

People rarely visited me here they hadn't in as long as I could remember...

Was it wise to return and exist in the solitude that truth be told I was most comfortable with? My brain was going around in useless circles...I would stay here tonight and decide on the morrow.

Finishing my drink I rinsed the glass and headed to my bedroom shedding my clothing as I went before slipping nude beneath the soft coverlet.

My eyes drifted closed as I headed reluctantly to dreamland...

 

[Raven_Timothy]

Stealth Ravens in to her room. noise as a ninja he pulls the covers up over her bare shoulder. Soft as his feathers he strokes her temple until she relaxes in to peaceful slumber. with the faintest of brushes of his lips on her hair, he steps away. Crossing the room with no more noise that his approach, he gently closes the door and sits down against it on the out side of her room. The only sign that he was ever there?... A shinny black feather about the length of her forearm, with the end perfectly quill cut for fine writing.

 

[yeishia]

She had been searching along an endless corridor in the dim half light. A soft voice could be heard floating around her, diesmbodied gentle.

“I don't believe it is wrong, you see. I never believed it was wrong. No. Each of us has within him a dark chamber where the real desires flower; and the horror of it is that they never see the light of another's understanding, those strange blooms. It is as lonely as it is dark, that chamber of the heart.”

How could he know?

Yes it was lonely and she wept for the truth of it ...she was lost indeed.

Looking down upon herself she was afraid

Help me please...

Soft fingers caressing her cheek and with them a sence of calm ...finally her heartbeat was slowing by degrees...sensual, surreal this feeling of of finally being safe.

Who was he she wondered? Before she realised that she was no longer trapped in dreamland she was in her bed and it was morning.



Stretching I finally opened my eyes and sat up clutching the covers to my breasts my eyes carefully scanning my bedroom caught in the betwixt and between of my dreams and the reality of the actual moment.

Slipping out of bed I pulled on a soft shift wondering...and then I saw it...I single graceful feather. Looking around again I stopped to pick it up turning it this way and that before bringing it closer to my face.

I recognized a familiar smell but couldnt place it...

It was a shinny black feather about the length of my forearm, with the end perfectly quill cut for fine writing. Who knew my passion for writing with pen and ink?

My door had stood open the night before I always left it that way knowing that as I rarely received visitors I was safe here in my virtual haven. My living room was empty, whomever had been here was now gone...

Reverently I placed the indescribably exquisite feather in the stand on my writing table...I would write again I was sure of it.

Lost...

what better place to loose myself than in a world of my own creation.

"It is as lonely as it is dark, that chamber of the heart.”

I would embrace the darkness perhaps...

 

[Raven_Timothy]

When the feather is placed in the stand the feather flashes. At the light fades a highly intricate line of gold appears. running like flame over fuel across the surface of the feather. When at last the line stops drawing its line there can be seen a fine and complex Celtic knot work running the entirety of the top of the feather. Surly as complex as the work is even the colors are meaningful. An old Celtic symbol of Odin's twins can been found wrapped around the bare shaft. Thus making it a hair thicker and with a slight grip to it. Upon touch the owner will discover a perpetual warmth. If inspected more carefully the warmth covers the entire feather with the exception of the writing tip. With research or a small amount of old world empathy, one will find the glyph of knot work are blessings of health on all three levels.

 

[Raven_Timothy]

Wonders through the sacred halls of her home driving fowl things from her home where ever they may hide. Places a dream catcher over each window in her room. Leaves a note. Just in case the lady of the house dose not know. Dream catchers are native american. Hand crafted webs on hoops believed to catch evil spirits and keep them out. Signed a friend.

 

[yeishia]

When the feather is placed in the stand the feather flashes. At the light fades a highly intricate line of gold appears. running like flame over fuel across the surface of the feather. When at last the line stops drawing its line there can be seen a fine and complex Celtic knot work running the entirety of the top of the feather. Surly as complex as the work is even the colors are meaningful. An old Celtic symbol of Odin's twins can been found wrapped around the bare shaft. Thus making it a hair thicker and with a slight grip to it. Upon touch the owner will discover a perpetual warmth. If inspected more carefully the warmth covers the entire feather with the exception of the writing tip. With research or a small amount of old world empathy, one will find the glyph of knot work are blessings of health on all three levels.

Wonders through the sacred halls of her home driving fowl things from her home where ever they may hide. Places a dream catcher over each window in her room. Leaves a note. Just in case the lady of the house dose not know. Dream catchers are native american. Hand crafted webs on hoops believed to catch evil spirits and keep them out. Signed a friend.

I had finally found my way to my own abode determined to write, placing my sunflowers on the breakfast bar and my roses on my writing desk I wandered into my bedroom shedding my clothing as I went.

Passing by the long mirror I stopped ...I had lost weight in the past week, I really did need to eat soon or I would be all angles and plains again...a pokey sticky out skeleton of ill health.

Sadly I traced the contours of my slender frame, at least my breasts remained the same, a delightful handful of soft responsive flesh, which no one ever saw but me of late. Smiling wistfully I continued to my bedroom proper to slip a soft sleep camisole and a pair of matching panties over my naked form.

It was then that I noticed the beautiful dream catcher handing from my window it was much the same as the one hanging from my bedroom window in my real world, I smiled softly...Timothy.

Not able to put off the moment I returned to my writing desk and my IPad once more.

Sitting down I simply stared.

Of late I was beginning to hate the thought of writing...the words were in my head tumbling over one another to be heard yet barely ever making it onto paper. It was my typing, it had always been slow but lately my ability seemed to have gotten worse and I was a a loss as how to fix the problem. Queen of obsessive editing at the best of times, a sensitive autocorrecting Ipad which had what seemed to be a mind of its own was not helping my dilemma.

Shuddering I started to cry sweeping the offending pad onto the floor...

How long I wept I had no clue ... something made me pick up the quill Timothy had given me and to my surprise it seemed to come to life within my soft fingertips so much so I almost dropped it.

Life giving warmth it shimmered with a vibrancy all its own. Odin's Twins spoke to the duality of my own Piscean nature..how could be have known of both that and my celtic roots.

I held it clasped to my bosom and began to cry again sobbing as if my fragile heart would break in two...

 

[Raven_Timothy]

I was quite sure when I peeked in on her that she was in aware on the tears she had shed on the feather. Seeing no threat in her home I made no advance, knowing that sometimes people need to unleash feelings. Not being sure which this was for her I held my place in the doorway for a long time. Finally seeing her chest's slow rise and fall I choked down my own emotions. Slowly soundlessly I cross the room. She smelled of sleep and fresh rain.good I thought rest will help. I lift her light form as I would a sleeping child. Careful of my every breath and movement. Inch by inch I move her to the bed and lay her down. Ever so gently tuck her in and kiss her forehead. Making my choice I lower myself onto the bed. Sitting beside her sleeping body I stroke her hair until sleep finally takes me.

 

[yeishia]

I had felt his presence during the night and found it comforting not to be alone.when I had awoken he was gone.

Sitting up I stretched sleepily gnawing on my lower lip as I contemplated a problem I had been presented with. Just because I was alone I wondered why others would assume that I would contemplate stealing another's man.

I supposed I should look for someone to love me, I had not done so simply because I was a female who preferred my mate to bed only me. I was anomaly I supposed...a relic...still I could be only true to myself. I could not think of many males here who would be happy with but a single female in their beds.

I was loney and so had tried to play with two men I knew in different threads... it just did not work....an understatement... it was disaster.

I grinned to myself, I had not yet given up the project quite yet.

Vous et nul autre ... you and no other... in that single special moment.

It was laughable I supposed that I would romanticise something that made me feel untruthful with every action I wrote. Whether a slut was nice or naughty I had no wish to be one unless it were for the one special man for whom I would of course desire to be all that he needed in every way that mattered...

Slipping from my bed I headed to my kitchen to make my morning smoothie which I sipped standing just inside my french doors as I surveyed my beautiful garden my mind still filled with worry.

I didn't want to leave the Inn. I did not want to remain alone in Soll. I wasn't sure that I even wanted to remaining in my beloved shadows. I was actually enjoying the small conversations I had had of late.

I didn't hold a candle to most of the strong and vibrant woman here on Lit nor did I want to. I posed no threat.

I considered myself to be a woman possessed of subtle strengths ...I had been told that I was Soft and sensual, romantic and dreamy...nurturing and loving.

Above all else I tried to be honest to myself and others.

Sighing I put down my drink and Wandered out into my blessed gardens to clear my head. Later I would write my post for CG with quill and Ink on parchment...the old fashioned way

 

[The_gladiator]

she had once told him he was welcome to come here. and so he came. He sat in the garden considering his own experiences of late. He loved the inn, but felt the pull of some place quieter this morning.

He bowed his head and took several long deep breaths, wondering if he would be noticed, hoping he was not intruding in this place.

 

[yeishia]

Noticing his presence I smile softly comforted by the fact he is finding solace in my gardens. He is always welcome even when I wish to be alone with my thoughts...

 

[yeishia]

I slip back into my own domain smiling softly.

Pushing open the huge french windows I inhale the evocative fragrance carried on the warm night air. Freeing my hair from its long braid I poured myself a glass of white wine carrying it and the bottle to my writing table where I picked up the magical quill feeling its healing warmth.

I owed posts...

Perhaps ...who knew ...but first I needed to relax.

Reverently I placed the quill in its holder and moved out into the gardens wandering barefoot along the path way until it brought me to the natural hot tub. Setting both glass and bottle on the edge I allowed my dress to fall from my shoulders where it gathered at a soft pool at my feet.

Sighing I slipped gracefully into the war steamy waters. My long hair flowed around me like some living thing as I began to relax allowing the balmy waters to work its magic as it lovingly cradled my aching form ...perfection, I thought as I picked up my glass and took a sip .

The stars were sparkling in sky and I was content in this special moment.

It was mine alone..

 

[yeishia]

What seems like hours and half a bottle of wine later I slip tipsily from the hot tub. Not bothering to re-dress I make my way through the warm gardens and head for my bedroom. Slipping beneath the soft sheets I curl up and try to sleep...

No writing has been done...the weekend is almost here and I promise myself I will catch up somehow.

Slipping into dreamland has never been so hard....

 

[yeishia]

A small reminder to me ...

"There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:

This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love!

I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away!

Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold.

If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you with."

~Stacy Carter ~

We are all worth something to someone thank goodness!

​

 

[Raven_Timothy]

He slips through the window like a shadow. Not because of any ill will,but because this balcony is the best place to land this morning. He glides down the hallway his body partially turned fingers of one hand sliding along the wall. Not because he's trying to avoid detection, but because he can't remember walking down a hall alone when he did not move this way. finally he arrives at her bedroom. If he were trying to avoid detection now would be the perfect time to set down the small flat present. And simply walk away. But they are friends an he feels certain that she would welcome him warmly. No the only reason for any secrecy is what the gift means to him and to give her the chance to spy on her new gift to in privet. moving across the room setting the gift on her writing table he spies the quill. smiles standing for but a few moments. he sits at her desk hoping she would forgive the intrusion. opening her gift he removes a single sheet of paper... would that be the right word for it... it is parchment, made the way it was over a hundred years ago over two hundred. The only exception being that the pulp was recycled this time for fifty sheets... forty nine now. It takes him hours with a few short breaks to stop the shakes. but finally it is done. before the ink is fully dry he carefully places it in a Privet place that only she will find. then he cleans the quill and backs back out of the room...

 

[yeishia]

Unable to sleep I slip into Soll intending to take a walk in the moonlit gardens. Instead I find myself sitting at my writng desk reading the parchment Timothy has left for me . As I read I smile softly...he has translated some of the terms he has used for me...no need for I had lived in such a land in a past incarnation.

Exquisite...

His solemnly words move me to my very core. It is if the poem were written for me alone it stirs my soul, words of the profound wisdom. As I read a calmness settles upon my mind. I needed these words in this moment in this time...how could he know I wondered.

I am honoured that he would share part of his psyche with one such as I.

Carefully rolling up the scroll I take out my treasure box and reverently lay it there, unaware of the silent tears flowing from my tierd eyes.

Cathartic somehow.

I wrap my arms around my slender form and head out into the gardens

" thank-you Timothy," I whisper softly, knowing that my heartfelt words will be carried on the warm night breeze from my heart to his...

 

[yeishia]

A new addition for my small bedroom...stolen from Veroe.

 

[yeishia]

I slip back into my own realm slipping off my clothing in favor of a simple old world nightgown, it covers me from head to toe. Smiling I make myself a mug of hot chocolate which I carry to my overstuffed couch .curling up at one end I sip contentedly as I replay in my mind the show I had just watched wishing I were as beautiful as the female who played lead.

 

[Veroe]

Little present for you.

 

[yeishia]

Slip into my own domain eyes widening as I see the gift I have been left.

It is perfection.

Gifts like this surely make up for my lack of visitors.

"Thank you Veroe, it is exquisite." :

 

[yeishia]

"Darkling I listen; and, for many a time
I have been half in love with easeful Death,”

Ode to a Nightingale, John Keats​

 

[yeishia]

Possible new Av's

.

​

Thank you Veroe for those you provided.

 

[Veroe]

Your quite welcome Yeishia. You could make those pics all into Avs and rotate them to fit your mood or you can hand them all over to Brit-witch so she can make them into a really awesome siggie for you.

 

[yeishia]

Your quite welcome Yeishia. You could make those pics all into Avs and rotate them to fit your mood or you can hand them all over to Brit-witch so she can make them into a really awesome siggie for you.

* smiles softly * I am not one for constant change, I choose an AV which represents me and stick with it until another moves me. I adore the signature I created and so it will remain I think, though I might swap some pictures out.

Britwich does make very amazing signatures but honestly I do prefer to do my own. I am not as accomplished as she on the computer but what I do try and create comes from deep within my psyche and truly represents the essence of who I really am. A relative stranger who barely knows the me could never accomplish that I think though I could be wrong.

Tis an extension of who I am *blushes* and it simply too personal to have another do it for me I think... beside it pleases me to try and do my very own.

Brit was very helpful with advice on resizing the one I do have when its size bugged someone.

 

[Veroe]

* smiles softly * I am not one for constant change, I choose an AV which represents me and stick with it until another moves me. I adore the signature I created and so it will remain I think, though I might swap some pictures out.

Britwich does make very amazing signatures but honestly I do prefer to do my own. I am not as accomplished as she on the computer but what I do try and create comes from deep within my psyche and truly represents the essence of who I really am. A relative stranger who barely knows the me could never accomplish that I think though I could be wrong.

Tis an extension of who I am *blushes* and it simply too personal to have another do it for me I think... beside it pleases me to try and do my very own.

Brit was very helpful with advice on resizing the one I do have when its size bugged someone.

You don't have to convince me on how personal an Av becomes, Yeishia. I have sometimes thought to change the one you found for me, but have always decided against it. Partly because its a reminder of your friendship with me and it has become to personify me so well.

So your sentiments on the subject is heartfelt-fully shared here.

Also I agree that Brit is amazing. I couldn't be happier with what she did for my siggie. And I think its awesome that you've been learning to do the same with some advice from her.