Some terms I am not familar with

[Purple Sage]

Leviticus has a huge listing of people you shouldn't sleep with, mostly family relations and cousins and such. I think there was some animal laws too but I'd have to look those up before I said so definitively.

Too bad there were no "Don't sleep with Tammy, she's bad, will mess up your life". I could have used something like that

Oh, you know Tammy too?

 

[alice_underneath]

I've been around a few blocks, but I never saw PYL till I came to this site. What, exactly does it mean?

Hi, Purple Sage.

PYL stands for "pick your label".

When capitalized, it refers to doms, tops, masters, etc.

When written lower case, it refers to subs, bottoms, slaves, et al.

Welcome to the Board.

Alice

P.S. re Tammy - that made me laugh!

 

[Purple Sage]

Thanks, Alice. Learn sumpin' new every day.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Oh, you know Tammy too?

Honestly she was not that bad, just.... she and I never connected the way I had hoped.

Now Maiya, she is 100% pure she-devil. But damn she looked good in a tiger print bikini.

 

[Vixandra]

I would think so! Don't many wiccans refer to a deity as female, the Great Goddess?

Depends on the Wiccan far as I've found.
I identify myself as Pagan with Wiccan/Druidic/Norse leanings so have a Goddess/God, Lady & Consort type of set up to my diety structure.
All life comes from Goddess with God's help, etc.

Some Wiccans don't believe in a God/Consort, only the female aspect of Diety. Have had a male Wiccan nearly yelling at me how Diety is only female and just female. *shrugs*

Depends on the person. Since we don't have an official handbook like Christianity, it makes every Wiccan's beliefs a bit different.

 

[Richard49]

I've been around a few blocks, but I never saw PYL till I came to this site. What, exactly does it mean?

place your own label

 

[Richard49]

I am still looking for the answer to the defintion to the terms i posted
so far I think the only one that was complete was the Victorian thing

BTW folks I am a grad of seminary
much of what people "think" is in the bible is not there
at lest in the context that people place it

an example of the sin of spilling seed
the person who was "quilty" of the act
was actually guality of not fullfilling his duty to his brothers widow
it was not the "spilling" of his seed that caused him grief

so before you say scripture says such and such
ya might want to look at the content within the context
and I am a fundmentlist

 

[alice_underneath]

BTW folks I am a grad of seminary
much of what people "think" is in the bible is not there
at lest in the context that people place it

an example of the sin of spilling seed
the person who was "quilty" of the act
was actually guality of not fullfilling his duty to his brothers widow
it was not the "spilling" of his seed that caused him grief

so before you say scripture says such and such
ya might want to look at the content within the context
and I am a fundmentlist

I have not read the Bible since being required to do so in high school, many years ago.

However, I have heard various "grads of seminary" (quoted in the media) citing the seed spilling passage as evidence that homosexual acts are considered contemptible by God.

Richard, if you are a man of faith who refrains from wielding your own religious interpretations to judge and oppress others, then my hat is off to you.

But there are people who use religious fundamentalism as a means to judge and oppress others, and they are not all members of the Taliban. Some are thriving, right here, in the good ole U S of A.

Alice

 

[Richard49]

I have not read the Bible since being required to do so in high school, many years ago.

However, I have heard various "grads of seminary" (quoted in the media) citing the seed spilling passage as evidence that homosexual acts are considered contemptible by God.

Richard, if you are a man of faith who refrains from wielding your own religious interpretations to judge and oppress others, then my hat is off to you.

But there are people who use religious fundamentalism as a means to judge and oppress others, and they are not all members of the Taliban. Some are thriving, right here, in the good ole U S of A.

Alice

I am suggesting two things
1) I am not sure what some of this descussion has to do with my question about what some spefici terms mean
2) that people read the bible or any book
for themselves and look for content and context

who is saying what being said to whom
in what historical context

If I ask one of my freinds here to bring me a spoon
it does not apply to everyone bring me a spoon

The last two - three years I have been focused on the nature of god and prayer
it has been amazing how certain layers of fog have lefted
and when I see that fog left I also see how i missed either content or context in the past

any who
back to these D/s or BDSM terms I am trying to find defintion for

-me-

 

[chris9]

Depends on the person. Since we don't have an official handbook like Christianity, it makes every Wiccan's beliefs a bit different.

As far as I know every Christian's belief is a bit different from anyone else's despite the book we have And it gives a good amount of fighting possibilities if someone is looking for them...

Sorry, Richard, for further highjacking your thread. I can't offer any answer to your original questions. Especially the lifestyle one I find very difficult...

 

[RJMasters]

Not sure when or how the term was specifically applied Richard, I would have to do more research on the matter. However in a way to explain how this came about, I offer the below to read and digest then allow you to come to your own conclusions.

My take is that the word lifestyle became popular in society for various reasons and it was only a matter of time until it was applied. The word seems to have overtones of political correctness. The TV show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famious" is a great example of how society at large began to accept and use the word. My earlest recollection was the use of this as applied to homosexuals as in the homosexual lifestyle.

************

Taken from this website - http://www.answers.com/topic/lifestyle

Lifestyle:

A way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group: “It was a millionaire's lifestyle on the pocketbook of a hairdresser” (People).

USAGE NOTE When lifestyle became popular a generation ago, a number of critics objected to it as voguish and superficial, perhaps because it appeared to elevate habits of consumption, dress, and recreation to categories in a system of social classification. Nonetheless, the word has proved durable and useful, if only because such categories do in fact figure importantly in the schemes that Americans commonly invoke when explaining social values and behavior, as in Rachel Brownstein's remark that “an anticonventional lifestyle is no sure sign of feminist politics, or indeed, of any politics at all.” Fifty-three percent of the Usage Panel accepts the word in Bohemian attitudes toward conventional society have been outstripped and outdated by the lifestyles of millions of young people. An even greater number—fully 70 percent—accepts the word in Salaries in the Bay Area may be higher, but it may cost employees as much as 30 percent more to maintain their lifestyles, where the context requires a term that implies categorization based on habits of consumption.

*************

I don't think the usage of it is completely negative and does have some merit in the pure use of the meaning. Being the student that you are of words and their usage, no doubt you have seen the misrepresentation or mis-usage of this word which makes it a bit unpalletable. As noted by the critics in the above paragraph, it can take on conotation of being voguish and superficial. It can also be used to intend exclusiveness which can be good or bad depending on the intent.

 

[Richard49]

RJ
I appreaciate your post
but for me
I am a Dom weather i have a submissive/slave in my life or not

Sometimes I am active in the D/s community

From what you posted
and from what I understand of the term lifestyle
it is about things people do or have

IMHO "we" have not only miss used the term
but many who are active in the community
use the term lifestyle to beat up those of us that are NOT
as active as they ....

I have been flamed so many times over my wish to direct "us"
to use the "terms for roles and behavors" with correct defintions
Why do I "push" this?
Cause to do other wise causes a lot of pain because of misunderstandings

any who
back to trying to undertand what the behavors/boundries are for these
other terms

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Victorian Household?

Lifestyle BDSM?

1950s Household?

Christian HOH ?

Since I found that these were pretty much answered by others I'll just re-cap

Victorian - strict, formal, household. Discipline is centered around spanking/caning/birching. Sometimes refered to as "English" or "Domestic Discipline" households. Wanna great example? The British TV series - "Upstairs, Downstairs" Aired on PBS here in the States years ago. It IS available on DVD now.

Lifestyle BDSM - Your household or primary relationship is based on power exchange/fetish/kink/SM/Leather ideals of some sort. Can be 24/7 live in relationships or not 24/7 don't live in. Usually requires some sort of regular face-to-face contact and interaction, but certainly can be a long distance relationship. This is an "umbrella" term that covers a huge area of relationship styles.

1950's Household - The American Middle Class Dream. A house in the burbs, Dad works, Mom stays at home with the kids and plays domestic goddess/servant/sex slave when the kids aren't around. Examples - "Leave It To Beaver" "Ozzie & Harriet" "Father Knows Best" with kink in the bedroom and the neighbors would never guess.....

Christian HOH - This is your "Bible-based" Husband runs the family, Wife as help-mate relationship. It can look a LOT like 1950's or Victorian, or it can get as out and edgie as the Christians involved. *grins* I'm tattoed, pierced, sadistic, dominant.... and Christian. Go figure. *lol*

Richard, one thing you will soon discover is that everyone has their own way of describing their relationship, their household, their pet kink... and you will have a hard time getting specific definitions agreed upon. It's rather like trying to herd cats.

But here are some great resources you might want to bookmark:

The Deviant's Dictionary - http://public.diversity.org.uk/deviant/index.html
The BDSM Backroom - http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/dict_us/
BDSM - Education - http://www.bdsm-education.com/ (has a "terminology" link that is an abbreviated dictionary of terms as well as a more extensive kink dictionary)

Hope that was of some help!

 

[Richard49]

Richard, one thing you will soon discover is that everyone has their own way of describing their relationship, their household, their pet kink... and you will have a hard time getting specific definitions agreed upon. It's rather like trying to herd cats.

untill i got to this paragraph I was indebted to you for your time
and post ....

As I posted in the begining of this thread
I have been around for more than a day or two

I have no problem with people coming up with new describtions for there kink
but as to agreed upon defintiions ... well ... that is how we as human communicate

so with evils post
there is no reason to continue this thread

thanks everyone for your imput and energy in answering this fools questions

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... I have no problem with people coming up with new describtions for there kink
but as to agreed upon defintiions ... well ... that is how we as human communicate

so with evils post
there is no reason to continue this thread

thanks everyone for your imput and energy in answering this fools questions

Hi Richard,

No reason to close the thread. My opinions are definitely NOT the end of the road, that's for sure.

The reason we have difficulty defining some terms is because the BDSM community is rapidly growing and changing, a huge influx of people from a broad spectrum of backgrounds, education levels, nationalities (and languages). Being a sub-culture (pun intended), our linguistics tend to slide and shift and bend with the fluidity of slang. This year's "bad" means "good", last year it meant "poor quality".

Reminder of this point? The ongoing, seemingly never ending debate of "submissive" vs "slave". The term "slave" carries a LOT of cultural, racial, historical and emotional baggage. I know a lot of people I would identify as "slaves" who will get seriously angry and fight tooth and nail with you if you call them a "slave". They will argue until doomsday that they are "submissives" not "slaves". Not because they aren't in fact slaves but because of the excess history behind the word.

Questions like yours allow us, as a group, to discuss the various meanings and nuances of the terms we use, to try to mold and shape the terms, sometimes to let the terms mold and shape us. One day we will be a well defined subset of society with enough historical weight to give our terminology some stability. Until then, BDSM might mean Bondage/Discipline, Sadism/Masochism... or it might mean Bondage & Discipline, Dominance/submission, Sadism/Masochism....

Keep asking your questions, they are good for us!

 

[Richard49]

ok
back to the BDSM Lifestyle

I find that when it is used one way
it means that you have a D/s relationship that is more 24/7
than a bedroom thingy

but what does it mean when one says
"I am a member of the BDSM Lifestyle?

I hope I am clear here
but we can get it clearer through dialgue
if I am not

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

ok
back to the BDSM Lifestyle

I find that when it is used one way
it means that you have a D/s relationship that is more 24/7
than a bedroom thingy

but what does it mean when one says
"I am a member of the BDSM Lifestyle?

I hope I am clear here
but we can get it clearer through dialgue
if I am not

Language being fluid and subjective I would assume that a statement like "I am a member of the BDSM Lifestyle" would be identifying the speaker with the values, morals and social exchanges associated with BDSM. Similarly a "Gay lifestyle" which defines its self with same sex sexual relationships or a "religious lifestyle" of devotion to a religion or ascetic lifestyle of self abasement.

Were someone to say to me "I am a meber of the BDSM lifestyle" I would infer that
a) they are eiter sub, dom or switch
b) they are not going to freak out if they find my flogger collection
c) they and I could communicate about issues of power exchange or discipline or bondage

Anything beyond that and I would be in danger of making too broad of an assumption before talking to them further.

 

[Richard49]

Were someone to say to me "I am a meber of the BDSM lifestyle" I would infer that
a) they are eiter sub, dom or switch
b) they are not going to freak out if they find my flogger collection
c) they and I could communicate about issues of power exchange or discipline or bondage

First I am NOT a member of the D/s or BDSM lifestyle
I might be a member of the D/s BDSM commuity
but even if I am not that does not make me or unmake me a Dom or a top

If one is part of the Christian HOH you bring your flogger out they would be offended ...

I once knew a submissive/slave that got off just on the power exchange

So again I ask
what does this term lifestyle mean or is it in fact another attack on those of us that are ...

 

[Stegral]

I would think so! Don't many wiccans refer to a deity as female, the Great Goddess?

That is normally the Dianic (Spelling?) tradition... wicca involves & celebrates the devine balance of god & goddess, equal in importance & power.

Sorry had to reply before I lost the post..