~~Something to know !~~

[Cheshire D]

Frankly speaking, all ur "do this" are based on what you "think" of me and not what u know of me.

You're right. We can only go on what we assume of you from what you post...we don't know you in real life, so we offer advice based solely on what we see.

And my advice: Get a shrink. A Dom isn't going to help you in the slightest.

 

[Rusty_Rider]

considering the previous replies on this thread I must say that people must try to know someone before they advice. Unless they are those who have too many advices to give but no one to listen.

~R~

 

[Rusty_Rider]

...................................................................................................................................................................

 

[Exogenous]

Frankly speaking, all ur "do this" are based on what you "think" of me and not what u know of me. You insist I must follow ur advice based on ur assumptions. Ofcourse people are that stupid.

~R~

I don’t understand how you can be offended by the thoughts offered here. You asked questions and people took the time to answer to the best of their ability and based on their knowledgeable and real-time experiences, rather than simply dismissing you. That shows how many folks on this board are caring, sincere people. There is nothing stupid about anything that has been shared.

Being online, and not knowing you in real life, what else can they go on, besides “assumptions”, taking your behavioral descriptions for fact and aligning those descriptions with what they’ve experienced and learned?

I did find your horseracing analogy interesting. Yes, to be successful, a racehorse does need a good jockey who can guide the horse to rate off the pace, stalk until the time is right to push past the front runner, or go from gate to wire, holding off the challengers, all the way out in front of the field. However, no matter how much strength, will, and courage a horse has, if that horse is not sound of mind, and willing to learn from the queues he/she is given, that horse will just be rank and spit the bit, and run crazy…and will likely end up being disqualified as he/she destructively bumps and grinds his/her way along the course. Even the best jockey cannot guide a horse (good or bad) to win the race, unless the horse is open for said guidance.

You have been offered some very insightful queues, here. Why are you so quick to dismiss them? Take off your blinkers and take in the full view!

 

[CutieMouse]

considering the previous replies on this thread I must say that people must try to know someone before they advice. Unless they are those who have too many advices to give but no one to listen.

~R~

Every piece of advice you have been given, has been given based upon the information YOU privided. No one here is a mind reader. No one here knows you. If it bothers you to be given opinions/advice about your question by people who do not know you, then why did you address your question to an audience who doesn't know you?

You asked if an idea would work, the vast majority of people who have experience with BDSM said they felt it wouldn't work - based upon their experience with BDSM, that it would be asking an awful lot of a Dominant to do - again, a view based upon their experience with BDSM, and rather than just say "Nope" and gnore you, they attempted to explain why it wouldn't work, and offer alternatives which might work, instead.

You claim this idea of your's would work with a Dom [perfect stranger], because you'd do everything they said, yet you have been petulant and cantankerous in this thread, everytime someone has disagreed with you, and excused your behaviour (which is rude, BTW), by acting as if it's ok to treat perfect strangers who take the time to answer your questions rudely, because they are perfect strangers. With an attitude like that, even if you do find someone willing to "assist" you, you won't get very far.

 

[Exogenous]

considering the previous replies on this thread I must say that people must try to know someone before they advice. Unless they are those who have too many advices to give but no one to listen.

~R~

Then, why are you online, asking "strangers" for advice, only to dismiss it because it does not suit you? Stick to those who know you in real life, for the advice that you require to justify your own personal reality.

 

[Netzach]

Has anyone suggested hooking this person up with doll parts? I think it's a match made in heaven.

 

[Rusty_Rider]

I don’t understand how you can be offended by the thoughts offered here. You asked questions and people took the time to answer to the best of their ability and based on their knowledgeable and real-time experiences, rather than simply dismissing you. That shows how many folks on this board are caring, sincere people. There is nothing stupid about anything that has been shared.

Being online, and not knowing you in real life, what else can they go on, besides “assumptions”, taking your behavioral descriptions for fact and aligning those descriptions with what they’ve experienced and learned?

I did find your horseracing analogy interesting. Yes, to be successful, a racehorse does need a good jockey who can guide the horse to rate off the pace, stalk until the time is right to push past the front runner, or go from gate to wire, holding off the challengers, all the way out in front of the field. However, no matter how much strength, will, and courage a horse has, if that horse is not sound of mind, and willing to learn from the queues he/she is given, that horse will just be rank and spit the bit, and run crazy…and will likely end up being disqualified as he/she destructively bumps and grinds his/her way along the course. Even the best jockey cannot guide a horse (good or bad) to win the race, unless the horse is open for said guidance.

You have been offered some very insightful queues, here. Why are you so quick to dismiss them? Take off your blinkers and take in the full view!

I have not dismissed any of their suggestions blindly. I have been working on reforming myself for a couple of months. I had successes and failures at that. People insisted that I must follow them. I dont need to go to a mental hospital for sure. I am not abnormal. But I did found people here least caring to understand that, rather they want their advice to go down my throat, no matter what.

Moreover, you are absolutely right about the insane horse. I am sure the horse is not insane, and it is willing to learn.

I have seen in real what doms can teach their slaves and that was mindblowing. I have seen what 'training' can do .. so I thought that if I had someone to help/train, it can help me in reforming myself. So why not a dom? I thought that can be possible .. so I just showed up.

I dont need to go to a mental hospital. I am sure of that.
Especially when that advice is based on assumptions.

~R~

 

[Exogenous]

Has anyone suggested hooking this person up with doll parts? I think it's a match made in heaven.

Actually, that might be a bit scary...a wildly differnt version of Frankenstein and his bride. Oops, I guess that's a bit insenstive of me, isn't it.

What can I say, I'm out of chocolate, and that is a seriously sad circumstance to be in. Heavy sigh.

 

[CutieMouse]

I have not dismissed any of their suggestions blindly. I have been working on reforming myself for a couple of months. I had successes and failures at that. People insisted that I must follow them. I dont need to go to a mental hospital for sure. I am not abnormal. But I did found people here least caring to understand that, rather they want their advice to go down my throat, no matter what.

Moreover, you are absolutely right about the insane horse. I am sure the horse is not insane, and it is willing to learn.

I have seen in real what doms can teach their slaves and that was mindblowing. I have seen what 'training' can do .. so I thought that if I had someone to help/train, it can help me in reforming myself. So why not a dom? I thought that can be possible .. so I just showed up.

I dont need to go to a mental hospital. I am sure of that.
Especially when that advice is based on assumptions.

~R~

And this post is the first time I've noticed you explicitly mentioning that you've been working on reforming yourself for several months now.

My suggestions for therapy were suggestions, as it tends to be very difficult to overcome a difficult past all by oneself. My suggestions for therapy were suggestions because I believe what you are seeking (someone to help you reform) can be more successfully accomplished through therapy. Again, most Dominants worth their salt will not consider themselves skilled enough to assist a stranger in the things you are wishing to accomplish. It is not an easy task, nor is it as simple as reading your life story, a list of what you do every day, then saying "Ok - do this, don't do that."

You've seen waht training can do... has it occured to you that the "trained" person walked into that relationship as a fully functioning, emotionally healthy, smart, individual, who already knew how to make wise decisions, and sought out a D/s relationship to enhance thier life, rather than relearn how to live? Or do you think trained submissives are in that position because they are somehow broken/unable to think for themselves/etc?

 

[CutieMouse]

On second thought, I have an idea... hire a pro-Domme. You'll have to pay out the ass, but it'd give you a chance to try out your theory that a Dom can fix you.

 

[Rusty_Rider]

Every piece of advice you have been given, has been given based upon the information YOU privided. No one here is a mind reader. No one here knows you. If it bothers you to be given opinions/advice about your question by people who do not know you, then why did you address your question to an audience who doesn't know you?

You asked if an idea would work, the vast majority of people who have experience with BDSM said they felt it wouldn't work - based upon their experience with BDSM, that it would be asking an awful lot of a Dominant to do - again, a view based upon their experience with BDSM, and rather than just say "Nope" and gnore you, they attempted to explain why it wouldn't work, and offer alternatives which might work, instead.

You claim this idea of your's would work with a Dom [perfect stranger], because you'd do everything they said, yet you have been petulant and cantankerous in this thread, everytime someone has disagreed with you, and excused your behaviour (which is rude, BTW), by acting as if it's ok to treat perfect strangers who take the time to answer your questions rudely, because they are perfect strangers. With an attitude like that, even if you do find someone willing to "assist" you, you won't get very far.

I dont 'claim' it will work. I said "it might".
So dont accuse me of that.

Moreover, in the first place I did told you that I dont need to go to a MH .. but u insisted on it. I did told you not to insist unless u know me .. but u were 'advising' me to go to a 'Mental Hospital'.

No one asked "did u took any step in that direction?" nor anyone was willing to know 'more' .. but kept insisting on their 'low information' based advices.

~R~

 

[lil_slave_rose]

And this post is the first time I've noticed you explicitly mentioning that you've been working on reforming yourself for several months now.

My suggestions for therapy were suggestions, as it tends to be very difficult to overcome a difficult past all by oneself. My suggestions for therapy were suggestions because I believe what you are seeking (someone to help you reform) can be more successfully accomplished through therapy. Again, most Dominants worth their salt will not consider themselves skilled enough to assist a stranger in the things you are wishing to accomplish. It is not an easy task, nor is it as simple as reading your life story, a list of what you do every day, then saying "Ok - do this, don't do that."

You've seen waht training can do... has it occured to you that the "trained" person walked into that relationship as a fully functioning, emotionally healthy, smart, individual, who already knew how to make wise decisions, and sought out a D/s relationship to enhance thier life, rather than relearn how to live? Or do you think trained submissives are in that position because they are somehow broken/unable to think for themselves/etc?

thank you cutiemouse, i was trying to find the words to say exactly that, but you said it much better than i ever could

Rusty_Rider: i never asked ANYONE for a medal for the things i endured, i don't deserve one. i put my business out here to try and help you and get you to understand that we are what we make of our life, not what our life makes of us. you have gotten very good advice on this thread, but because it's not what you wanted to hear you have become rude and in some cases even threatning. if you don't want to take the advice, fine, don't take it, but for christs sake quit with the 'but you don't know me' of course we don't 'know' you, but you asked a question of complete strangers..what did you expect when you started the thread??

everyone has pretty much given you the same advice and said that BDSM is not going to fix your problems or make them go away, now it's up to you to either take the advice that was given or not but you really don't need to be so rude to people who took the time to answer your questions and give THEIR OPINION on the questions you asked.....

 

[CutieMouse]

I dont 'claim' it will work. I said "it might".
So dont accuse me of that.

Moreover, in the first place I did told you that I dont need to go to a MH .. but u insisted on it. I did told you not to insist unless u know me .. but u were 'advising' me to go to a 'Mental Hospital'.

No one asked "did u took any step in that direction?" nor anyone was willing to know 'more' .. but kept insisting on their 'low information' based advices.

~R~

Suggesting therapy would be more helpful, is not insisting you do so.

MH/MR is NOT A MENTAL HOSPITAL

MH/MR is an extension of your county's social services. Therapists who are finishing their Masters and Doctoral degrees, are required by most state laws to do X number of hours of volunteer work with the community - most choose to do that work through MH/MR. Many of them continue that work long after writing their doctoral dissertations. They provide outpatient therapy (usually in 45 minute to 1 hour sessions), on a sliding scale fee, based upon income. "Outpatient" therapy is plain old sit down in someone's office, assess what's going on, and get advice on how to reprogramme your way of thinking so you make wiser and healthier choices THERAPY. You'll be given resources/tools/coping mechanisms to deal with drinking too much. You'll be assisted in learning better communication skills, how to control your temper, etc, etc, etc.

Most of the therapists I've known who have done work with MH/MR have waiting lists several months long for their private practices. In my opinion, there are people out there who are better equipped to assist you than a Dom. Just in case you feel picked on, I should also point out I suggest MH/MR to *everyone* I feel might need a neutral third party to talk to, when their needs go way beyond what people on a message board might suggest.

 

[BiBunny]

I dont 'claim' it will work. I said "it might".
So dont accuse me of that.

Moreover, in the first place I did told you that I dont need to go to a MH .. but u insisted on it. I did told you not to insist unless u know me .. but u were 'advising' me to go to a 'Mental Hospital'.

No one asked "did u took any step in that direction?" nor anyone was willing to know 'more' .. but kept insisting on their 'low information' based advices.

~R~

You're the one who didn't offer that information. We don't know you, and it's not our place to ask every imaginable question. If you believe we need to know something, it's up to you to tell us. Oh, wait, that'd require responsibility, too, wouldn't it? It's so much easier when it's OUR FAULT that we didn't ask.

If you're so convinced this cockamamie idea would actually work, then answer me this. If the dominant has to do so much work for you, what do you have to offer him or her? Nobody's going to go through all that for you out of the goodness of his/her heart, I can assure you. The more you expect from someone out of a relationship, the more you have to give in return. Have you thought about that AT ALL?

Oh, and, by the way, if I could neither argue logically nor observe the basic rules of spelling and grammar any better than you can, I damn sure wouldn't be insulting the intelligence of others.

 

[Cheshire D]

What's the old joke....? How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, the light bulb has to want to change.

There's wisdom in this for all parties here.

 

[Rusty_Rider]

You're the one who didn't offer that information. We don't know you, and it's not our place to ask every imaginable question. If you believe we need to know something, it's up to you to tell us. Oh, wait, that'd require responsibility, too, wouldn't it? It's so much easier when it's OUR FAULT that we didn't ask.

If you're so convinced this cockamamie idea would actually work, then answer me this. If the dominant has to do so much work for you, what do you have to offer him or her? Nobody's going to go through all that for you out of the goodness of his/her heart, I can assure you. The more you expect from someone out of a relationship, the more you have to give in return. Have you thought about that AT ALL?

Oh, and, by the way, if I could neither argue logically nor observe the basic rules of spelling and grammar any better than you can, I damn sure wouldn't be insulting the intelligence of others.

I am not the kind who got mentally broken by some incident(s). My info on past wouldnt be appriciated for sure. Only for a hint .. I had been an "anti-social element". I was looking for 'green signal' to give more info.

Moreover, I think I am writing this for some tenth time .. I am not 'claiming' that it will work .. nor did I said anywhere that ia m sure this cockamamie idea will work.

I don’t know what I can offer back in a relationship which has not yet started.
Yes, my writing sucks and its not even worth fifth grade because I was pulled out of school when I was 13. I admitted I don’t know the big words because I am not a novelist ( esp. a porn one !).

And about being rude, if I say something back to "Exogenous" and "netzach" .. they will come up with issues of "being rude". Or must I ignore them because they are a*****es?

~R~

 

[Exogenous]

I have not dismissed any of their suggestions blindly. I have been working on reforming myself for a couple of months. I had successes and failures at that.

~R~

Fair enough. Yet, if “reformation” is needed, how can you expect to be reformed in only a matter of couple of months, and by a Dom, no less? I wish you continued success in your reformation. However, Doms are not mental/emotional health workers.

But I did found people here least caring to understand that, rather they want their advice to go down my throat, no matter what.

~R~

Least caring? Wow, so much thoughtful insight as been given, and no one has stated that their advice has "to go down your throat", no matter what. Your ideas/thoughts/opinions have been just as bold, or bolder, than the others posted, here. Please, come back down to Earth.

I have seen in real what doms can teach their slaves and that was mindblowing. I have seen what 'training' can do .. so I thought that if I had someone to help/train, it can help me in reforming myself. So why not a dom? I thought that can be possible .. so I just showed up.
~R~

All well and good, I suppose. However, I tend to think that a Dom training his/her sub is not a matter of "reformation" as it is a way to share a healthy exchange of expectations between minds and hearts that are ready to engage in a healthy relationship in general.

I dont need to go to a mental hospital. I am sure of that.
Especially when that advice is based on assumptions.

~R~

Again, you are stuck on the “assumption train”. It’s time to get off at the station of “I am willing to honestly consider different points of view and not dismiss them because I don’t agree with them.” Wow, that’s a long station name!

Insights and advice, based on the criteria of the question posed, can only be given through one’s own experiences and life education. You need to pull off your blinkers, and allow the idea of what others have to share can offer open-minded, healthier food for thought.

 

[Rusty_Rider]

Fair enough. Yet, if “reformation” is needed, how can you expect to be reformed in only a matter of couple of months, and by a Dom, no less? I wish you continued success in your reformation. However, Doms are not mental/emotional health workers.

Did I said I want a dom to do that in couple of months? I said I have been working on myself for couple of months!

Least caring? Wow, so much thoughtful insight as been given, and no one has stated that their advice has "to go down your throat", no matter what. Your ideas/thoughts/opinions have been just as bold, or bolder, than the others posted, here. Please, come back down to Earth.

Did u cared for what u posted, while u were typing all that "fun" looking stuff?

All well and good, I suppose. However, I tend to think that a Dom training his/her sub is not a matter of "reformation" as it is a way to share a healthy exchange of expectations between minds and hearts that are ready to engage in a healthy relationship in general.


Again, you are stuck on the “assumption train”. It’s time to get off at the station of “I am willing to honestly consider different points of view and not dismiss them because I don’t agree with them.” Wow, that’s a long station name!

Insights and advice, based on the criteria of the question posed, can only be given through one’s own experiences and life education. You need to pull off your blinkers, and allow the idea of what others have to share can offer open-minded, healthier food for thought.

I can see that ur post is totally out of the rage that might have occured because I pointed out ur comments in my previous post!

What u are talking about had been left very far behined.
As I expected your post creates issues by scratching again that has been fixed for good.

I hope next time ur reply will not be out of rage!

Thanx for ur interest !

~R~

 

[BiBunny]

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to know what it is you have to offer. If you can't even do that, you don't have any business in a relationship. Period.

 

[Rusty_Rider]

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to know what it is you have to offer. If you can't even do that, you don't have any business in a relationship. Period.

Well .. let the relationship come into existance and the person will know what I can offer. I know how it works.

Thanx for ur efforts.

~R~

 

[Exogenous]

. I admitted I don’t know the big words because I am not a novelist ( esp. a porn one !).

And about being rude, if I say something back to "Exogenous" and "netzach" .. they will come up with issues of "being rude". Or must I ignore them because they are a*****es?

~R~

You have brought that up before, about being well versed based on writing porn. WTF?

Wow, if Netzach is referred to as an a*****es and I am in that same group, that’s very humbling, for me, as I respect her very much. I should be so lucky as to be like her. I will take that as a compliment.

Whew...enough is enough. There is no dealing with someone so closed-minded. How silly of me.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

apparently, Rusty_Rider, the only answer you want to hear is 'yes, yes, this could work!' because any other answer that is given you have challenged and put down the person posting it. so here is some more of my advice: try opening up your mind to others suggestions, opinions, ideas, ect...before posting a question on a message board. surely you didn't really think that EVERYONE was going to agree with you or tell you that the answer is YES!....did you? it's obvious to me that you don't want advice or anyone else's opinions, SO, i'm done wasting keystrokes *skips out of this thread and into the next*

 

[Rusty_Rider]

You have brought that up before, about being well versed based on writing porn. WTF?

Wow, if Netzach is referred to as an a*****es and I am in that same group, that’s very humbling, for me, as I respect her very much. I should be so lucky as to be like her. I will take that as a compliment.

Whew...enough is enough. There is no dealing with someone so closed-minded. How silly of me.

Well, I request you to stop digging up graves and trying to prove how right u were with ur comments.
Moreover, I wasnt saying that porn novelist thing to u.
Its not the scat on UR face.

U cant take the responsibility of what u said .. the same what everyone was accusing me of on previous pages .. go read those replies they sent me .. u might learn something from them.

I dont intend to start an arguement with you.
U know what u said. Everyone can read it.
Dont dig the graves now.

Hope u got it.

Whew...enough is enough. There is no dealing with someone like you. How silly of me.

~R~

 

[Rusty_Rider]

apparently, Rusty_Rider, the only answer you want to hear is 'yes, yes, this could work!' because any other answer that is given you have challenged and put down the person posting it. so here is some more of my advice: try opening up your mind to others suggestions, opinions, ideas, ect...before posting a question on a message board. surely you didn't really think that EVERYONE was going to agree with you or tell you that the answer is YES!....did you? it's obvious to me that you don't want advice or anyone else's opinions, SO, i'm done wasting keystrokes *skips out of this thread and into the next*

If I am on this thread its not because I want to hear "YES" when u guys want it to be "NO".
I am here so that I might get responses from people on my PM box.
And if I am still here .. Its because I have been getting some positive responses on my PM box. I dont have any intentions of indulging into arguements with people who firmly beileve its a "NO" and take intensive pleasure calling me "closed-minded" when they themselves are not willing to accept it other way round. I must say most of u are stuck with "No, that's impossible!"

Moreover, I am here because the guys who responded on PM boxes did gave me a complete different outlook of the forum. I was wondering "WTF" its a time waste on this board untill I started getting responses from them. Those people offered "advices". Most of them did told me that I might get some crazy responses as I did got. So right were they!

U can quote the words "time waste" .. and ask me "why I am here if its a time waste?" .. Its because this is the thread which helped me meet some real good people .. and I have to be on it here .. If I need more of their kind .. even if I enjoy being here arguing with you or not!

This is just to clear that I didnt enjoyed the comments as by Exogenous or Netzach, nor the worthless arguements started by one of them because she ( I guess .. she's a she !) cant take the responsibility of what she said. If they didnt had anything good to say .. they would have looked beautiful with their mouth shut.

I am here for those few guys who did sent me worthy offers and advices. They know who they are. Thanx guys!

I am waiting for more of those kind. Not the "you are closed-minded. Its not happening because I said 'its not happening'. I am the knower of all .. and when i have said its not hapening believe its not happening."

I think u need to be more open minded.

~R~