~~Something to know !~~

[lil_slave_rose]

If I am on this thread its not because I want to hear "YES" when u guys want it to be "NO".
I am here so that I might get responses from people on my PM box.
And if I am still here .. Its because I have been getting some positive responses on my PM box. I dont have any intentions of indulging into arguements with people who firmly beileve its a "NO" and take intensive pleasure calling me "closed-minded" when they themselves are not willing to accept it other way round. I must say most of u are stuck with "No, that's impossible!"

Moreover, I am here because the guys who responded on PM boxes did gave me a complete different outlook of the forum. I was wondering "WTF" its a time waste on this board untill I started getting responses from them. Those people offered "advices". Most of them did told me that I might get some crazy responses as I did got. So right were they!

U can quote the words "time waste" .. and ask me "why I am here if its a time waste?" .. Its because this is the thread which helped me meet some real good people .. and I have to be on it here .. If I need more of their kind .. even if I enjoy being here arguing with you or not!

This is just to clear that I didnt enjoyed the comments as by Exogenous or Netzach, nor the worthless arguements started by one of them because she ( I guess .. she's a she !) cant take the responsibility of what she said. If they didnt had anything good to say .. they would have looked beautiful with their mouth shut.

I am here for those few guys who did sent me worthy offers and advices. They know who they are. Thanx guys!

I am waiting for more of those kind. Not the "you are closed-minded. Its not happening because I said 'its not happening'. I am the knower of all .. and when i have said its not hapening believe its not happening."

I think u need to be more open minded.

~R~

umm..huh?? none of what you said even made sense to me. no one has said they are 'the knower of all' you asked for advice and you got it, but it didn't fit with the advice you wanted therefore you got upset and started being rude and accusing people of 'arguing' with you when they were not doing that at all...if you got PMs with what you were wanting to hear, i'm happy for you, but what i mean by opening your mind is that maybe you should also listen to those who are disagreeing with you, you might very well learn something *shrugs* i'm done.....

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Ok, I'm probably going to regret getting involved in this thread and I haven't read back over the whole thing so bear with me.

The thing I don't get about this whole debate (or, again, as much as I've read) is that Rusty is talking about being sexually dominated in order to work through his mental & emotional baggage.

My question is; what does Rusty's mental health have to do with his sexuality and his sexual relationships? Does the thought of being dominated actually turn him on on a sexual level? Is he genuinely bisexual?

The impression I get is that, for Rusty, this has nothing to do with sex at all. It's quid pro quo; you fix me and I'll fulfill your sexual needs. Bargaining like this is to me another symptom of a damaged view of the world, born of what Rusty has experienced from people in his troubled life. It almost reads like he's pimping out his mental health. This is not mentally healthy and I can see why experienced and concerned BDSMers have seen this as a fundamentally flawed idea.

Sexual domination and submission is about mutual gratification through a psychosexual power exchange. For it to work it should be a meeting of equals who choose different roles rather than one person taking control of another because of their problems.

Rusty, I know that nothing will be a quick fix for you but I'm baffled as to why you have chosen to ask about BDSM rather than look into more conventional forms of therapy. If what you have said about your life is genuine then you really do need to spend time with a qualified therapist who has been trained to help you make positive changes to your life without storing up trouble for the future by handling it badly.

Dominants are only experienced in getting the most sexual and emotional gratification for themselves and their sub. They simply are not qualified to help you work through your past and it's not as simple as whipping you until you change your current lifestyle. That's just what's on your surface right now. To experience long lasting peace of mind you need to find someone who can help you with what's lying underneath and contributing to your current lifestyle.

There are many forms of therapy and I'm sure with a little trial and error you and your GP can find something that works for you. I must agree with other posters though in that, while your motivation right now is admirable, I just don't think you'll find what you need here or on the personals page.

 

[Etoile]

Did anybody else notice the marked improvement in writing ability as of post 58?

Also: SO not responding to your PM from last night.

 

[Rusty_Rider]

umm..huh?? none of what you said even made sense to me. no one has said they are 'the knower of all' you asked for advice and you got it, but it didn't fit with the advice you wanted therefore you got upset and started being rude and accusing people of 'arguing' with you when they were not doing that at all...if you got PMs with what you were wanting to hear, i'm happy for you, but what i mean by opening your mind is that maybe you should also listen to those who are disagreeing with you, you might very well learn something *shrugs* i'm done.....

Yes, there have been many arguements.
I have read all of the words written by u all, whatever that was an approval or a denial.

And it seems u cant take a denial to ur words.
I am not willing to dig any more graves, enough has already been said.

~R~

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Did anybody else notice the marked improvement in writing ability as of post 58?

Now that you mention it... yes.

Think I'll add this one to the long list of people in this world I'll never understand.

I need coffee

 

[Rusty_Rider]

Ok, I'm probably going to regret getting involved in this thread and I haven't read back over the whole thing so bear with me.

The thing I don't get about this whole debate (or, again, as much as I've read) is that Rusty is talking about being sexually dominated in order to work through his mental & emotional baggage.

My question is; what does Rusty's mental health have to do with his sexuality and his sexual relationships? Does the thought of being dominated actually turn him on on a sexual level? Is he genuinely bisexual?

The impression I get is that, for Rusty, this has nothing to do with sex at all. It's quid pro quo; you fix me and I'll fulfill your sexual needs. Bargaining like this is to me another symptom of a damaged view of the world, born of what Rusty has experienced from people in his troubled life. It almost reads like he's pimping out his mental health. This is not mentally healthy and I can see why experienced and concerned BDSMers have seen this as a fundamentally flawed idea.

Sexual domination and submission is about mutual gratification through a psychosexual power exchange. For it to work it should be a meeting of equals who choose different roles rather than one person taking control of another because of their problems.

Rusty, I know that nothing will be a quick fix for you but I'm baffled as to why you have chosen to ask about BDSM rather than look into more conventional forms of therapy. If what you have said about your life is genuine then you really do need to spend time with a qualified therapist who has been trained to help you make positive changes to your life without storing up trouble for the future by handling it badly.

Dominants are only experienced in getting the most sexual and emotional gratification for themselves and their sub. They simply are not qualified to help you work through your past and it's not as simple as whipping you until you change your current lifestyle. That's just what's on your surface right now. To experience long lasting peace of mind you need to find someone who can help you with what's lying underneath and contributing to your current lifestyle.

There are many forms of therapy and I'm sure with a little trial and error you and your GP can find something that works for you. I must agree with other posters though in that, while your motivation right now is admirable, I just don't think you'll find what you need here or on the personals page.

Look, what they have done to the thread!
Lady, this is not about being sexually dominated in order to work through mental & emotional baggage. I am not a mentally retarded person but a criminal with lots of serious bad habits. I am trying to work on them from past few months and thought if a dom could force me to quit some habits on which I am already working. Plus, I am not expecting a dom to do 'it' for me, but help me quit what I am already working on to quit. Sexual or non-sexual is not the issue. That depends completely on the dom.

I hope u got it. If u have anything else to ask, feel free.

~R~

 

[VelvetDarkness]

*spanks her own ass with a wooden spoon while repeating 'I told me so!'*

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Yahoo Warrior

OH MY GOD!!!

Who gave Romper Room 'net access?

Rusty, you must be alt because nobody can seriously be that obnoxious and allowed to be unsupervised except for potty breaks.

And if you aren't somebody's alt, Rusty.. do you really think that you can intimidate someone via the 'net? Come one.. please get real or at least go talk to mommy and ask her again why no one wants to play with you; Maybe you'll listen and learn this time.

 

[Etoile]

Rusty, you must be alt because nobody can seriously be that obnoxious and allowed to be unsupervised except for potty breaks.

I keep sayin' that!

 

[northwoods_sub]

Can someone tell me why I keep reading this thread.

It is like a bad car accident that I just can't seem to look away from!!

 

[Etoile]

Can someone tell me why I keep reading this thread.

Undying hope for the arrival of sanity?

 

[marieR19]

It is like a bad car accident that I just can't seem to look away from!!

Exactly what I was thinking the whole time I was reading this thread!

I don't understand how you all can put up with these sort of people long enough to actually post like you've been doing. Dang. I would've screamed something along the lines of "BDSM will NOT help you work out your "criminal" problems, so go away!" by the second page.

Anyone who has been in Rusty's position, ie an alcoholic, drug addict, shoplifter, whatever, should realize that seeking out a BDSM-related relationship with someone is not going to solve their problems.... the two aren't related in the least! I don't understand people who think that their addiction will be solved if someone of authority tells them to stop. It's not that simple and no Dom in their right mind would take on something like that.

And I can't believe I'm posting to this thread. I told myself I'd stay out of it!


Heather

 

[Chris_Xavier]

<sigh>

I can't believe I was dumb enough to come back a second time.

 

[Etoile]

I just want to say it is TRULY a shame we are not allowed to post the content of PMs we receive on Lit. A true, crying shame.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

I just want to say it is TRULY a shame we are not allowed to post the content of PMs we receive on Lit. A true, crying shame.

You too, eh?

 

[Etoile]

You too, eh?

Yeah, the one I got a couple of days ago wasn't worth mentioning, but the one I got today was awesome.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Yeah, the one I got a couple of days ago wasn't worth mentioning, but the one I got today was awesome.

Yeah well.. as irritable as I get I'd never say that sort of thing to anybody here.

Big Yahoo warriors like this dude scare me.. NOT.

 

[Etoile]

Yeah, I used to get scared by mean people on the Intarwebs, but not so much anymore. Like water off a duck's back, now.

 

[gothika_whip]

Did this guy knew what he was looking for? I think he's wasting his time! Probably another case of 'wrong guy at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong gang'.

Gothika!