Space for Whatchamacallits

[Niceandbrutal]

 

[DesEsseintes]

Whatever you do - DON'T GOOGLE TORTOPHILIA!!

*edit* DON'T CLICK THE LINK...

I always loved a good Raphael drawing.

Continuing the topic of unusual sexual practices, a friend told me a year or so ago about 'docking', which I thought sounded rather endearing.

It isn't.

 

[Bert_Fegg]

I always loved a good Raphael drawing.

Continuing the topic of unusual sexual practices, a friend told me a year or so ago about 'docking', which I thought sounded rather endearing.

It isn't.

when I was based in Germany it was something of a game between us to find porn that nobody could bear to watch. I seem to recall that particular practice had a few guys clawing at their eyes....

 

[prettyserpentine]

I always loved a good Raphael drawing.

Continuing the topic of unusual sexual practices, a friend told me a year or so ago about 'docking', which I thought sounded rather endearing.

It isn't.

...trying to ... resist ... googling...

 

[prettyserpentine]

Oh god. I could have gone a long time without ever knowing that.

I also instantly regret eating anything in the last few hours. I feel ill.

 

[Bert_Fegg]

...trying to ... resist ... googling...

Seriously - cherish your ignorance on that one....

whoops!!

 

[StarryEyed665]

Godammit guys! I'm like crying and my sister's wondering what's wrong. But we're watching Shutter Island so I can blame that...

 

[DesEsseintes]

This is all becoming a little bit Garden of Eden, isn't it? The serpent tempting an innocent (ha!) young woman into eating of the fruit of knowledge. It's just that this time the serpent and the young woman are one and the same.

Starry-Eyed even mentioned to me earlier a chap who keeps eating apples at her, or something. There is a theme developing. Perhaps, after all, those odd Montana types are right, and we are living in The End Times. Doesn't that mean we go to heaven and leave our clothes behind?

I ought to change.

 

[prettyserpentine]

huddles in a corner, rocking and shivering

 

[Bert_Fegg]

Mentioning Docking was a recipe for trauma though - Now if you'd kept it to something innocuous like figging....

 

[DesEsseintes]

No, Bert, that one seriously is horrible. I saw a picture of that years ago by mistake and I didn't know that human anatomy could do that. It was more like a horror movie.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Well, I had to tell my friend I nodded off and had a nightmare. Managed to wake her up and scare the shit out of the dog.

Googled that and actually screamed aloud when I read the description.

Well, more squeaked, or gasped/yelped.

 

[Bert_Fegg]

No, Bert, that one seriously is horrible. I saw a picture of that years ago by mistake and I didn't know that human anatomy could do that. It was more like a horror movie.

We talking about the same thing? - The figging I'm referring to is an improvised butt plug carved out of root ginger. It doesn't put any stress on the anatomy, but I'm told it melts earwax a treat

 

[DesEsseintes]

Then we're not. That sounds grotesque, true, but not quite as horrific as what I thought it was. I'll leave it there.

This used to be such a nice thread...

 

[prettyserpentine]

I saw both. The one you referred to Bert, and the one I think Des saw, which is the one that made me cringe.

Anyway. I think it's time for brandy and the discussion of how bad the second Sherlock Holmes movie is, don't you?

 

[DesEsseintes]

Brandy, certainly. A splendid idea. Do let me be mother, dear Ms Serpentine.

But as for the second Sherlock Holmes movie, I'm afraid I must plead wilful ignorance. I've deliberately not watched anything with the title Sherlock since Jeremy Brett died. It wouldn't be the same.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Brandy, certainly. A splendid idea. Do let me be mother, dear Ms Serpentine.

But as for the second Sherlock Holmes movie, I'm afraid I must plead wilful ignorance. I've deliberately not watched anything with the title Sherlock since Jeremy Brett died. It wouldn't be the same.

Oh my god, I love you.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Jeremy Brett was my all time favourite Sherlock Holmes. Have you read his autobiography? It was one of the most emotional books I ever read. I just adored him.

 

[StarryEyed665]

I have seen a lot of Sherlock portrayals (hard to avoid, there are so many!) but they all pale in comparison to Jeremy Brett!

 

[DesEsseintes]

Oh my god, I love you.

<Blushes.> To be sure, Miss Serpentine, and me a married man and you with your lovely feller on his way on the auld steamer as we speak...<Grins.>

But to respond to your second point - no, I haven't. I know what he suffered with the steroids and the swelling,especially as he had been such an austerely beautiful young and middle-aged man. Stephen Fry once quoted Anthony Burgess's superb phrase with reference to him: 'adventitiously endowed with irrelevant photogeneity'. That little half-smile at the beginning of every episode as he looks in profile across Baker Street...

I take it you would recommend the book, then?

 

[prettyserpentine]

Des, I would, I would... a thousand times. But have tissues at hand. He played Holmes with such a beautiful gait, I miss him. Much as I enjoy the new BBC adaptation, no one will be Holmes the way he was.

I'm so thrilled you guys appreciate him! I'm literally lying here with the biggest smile.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Pure Brett-Holmes porn. That face! That voice! That transparent intelligence animating every muscle.

 

[prettyserpentine]

Pure Brett-Holmes porn. That face! That voice! That transparent intelligence animating every muscle.

Sublime. Makes my heart ache a little.

 

[Bert_Fegg]

Sorry guys, but...

...there's only one Sherlock Holmes

 

[DesEsseintes]

...there's only one Sherlock Holmes

Heretic! Burn him!