Spanked over the knee of a younger Dom

[Stella_Omega]

Stella I disagree on both of your points. First you need to define maturity. Sexually men mature in their mid teens to their mid 20s. Psychologically perhaps much later. Women psychologically earlier and sexually usually in their early to late 30s. I am sure you know the vast majorities of generalities are wrong including the one I just made.

I was very much thinking of psychological maturity, OP was talking about domination.

I'm basing my thoughts on the (non sexual) society I happen to be involved in right now- approximately seventy young adults of all genders and inclinations, loosely affiliated through their musical tastes. Although the age of adult transition varies from individual to individual, the overall trend is pretty clear.

And also, I wrote that in a mighty sketchy way and didn't make my meaning clear-- I was talking about young men, who these days make less pretense about being young. the youngsters I know are more likely to admit to insecurity, or need or other immaturities than were the young men of my day. This means that the young women can't always rely on the guys-- they have to learn to rely on themselves. It's a bit problematic in that there's this constant reinventing the wheel going on with every relationship. i don't know if it will turn out better or worse in the long run... but it is what it is.

In today's society of WYSIWYG tells me any woman who thinks the bad boy who turns her on and thinks she can change him to what she wants is the immature one no matter her age.

What? I mean, yeah of course, and I've seen that plenty, but-- so what? How does that even enter into this conversation?

Today I am 72 yo. and have been involved in/with BDSM since 1967. While I may be a noob here I have been around for a while.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I turned 55 on the first, and have been cognisant of BDSM desires for about 50 years of my life. I found the gay and lesbian leather community in the early nineties. Untill then, I did what I could-- not as much as I would have liked, since it was so hard to feel safe.

I will also say if I had a woman over my knee and did not believe she was submitting to me she would find herself on the floor watching me walk out the door.

Ah, well, I'm a bottom-- but not a sub.

And also, I'm not... heterosexual. *cough*

I can see how you might have been mislead since I was talking about young studs and all. And I do play with men once in a while.

But I just might be the one picking your dumped lady up off the floor and showing her a better time.

 

[Primalex]

why not a young Dom / MILF chaser?

Can you imagine him with a whip and a stern face, without starting to laugh?



http://iwatchblog.com/wp-content/mark-zuckerberg-facebook.jpg

 

[BunnyHopper]

Can you imagine him with a whip and a stern face, without starting to laugh?



http://iwatchblog.com/wp-content/mark-zuckerberg-facebook.jpg

Yes. Isn't he already sodomizing millions of people?

 

[Primalex]

Yes. Isn't he already sodomizing millions of people?

Damned.


Thinking about it, I start to believe Facebook was just his clever way of getting pics of nude girls delivered free. What other purpose could it serve?

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

Can you imagine him with a whip and a stern face, without starting to laugh?



http://iwatchblog.com/wp-content/mark-zuckerberg-facebook.jpg

Ok, no... And thanks for the visual - it did rather make me laugh out loud...

 

[evesdream]

Ok, it seems a tad unrealistic, but doesn't the taboo thought make you a little curious? At what age does a Dom/Master become 'too' young? My personal belief is that the "right" age is just a matter of maturity. It's one thing to sleep with a younger man, but would you let him dominate you? Does this actually turn any woman on? Or is it just my fantasy...?

Would make a fun bedroom dom. Sounds like an extremely humiliating scene.

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

I was very much thinking of psychological maturity, OP was talking about domination.

I'm basing my thoughts on the (non sexual) society I happen to be involved in right now- approximately seventy young adults of all genders and inclinations, loosely affiliated through their musical tastes. Although the age of adult transition varies from individual to individual, the overall trend is pretty clear.

And also, I wrote that in a mighty sketchy way and didn't make my meaning clear-- I was talking about young men, who these days make less pretense about being young. the youngsters I know are more likely to admit to insecurity, or need or other immaturities than were the young men of my day. This means that the young women can't always rely on the guys-- they have to learn to rely on themselves. It's a bit problematic in that there's this constant reinventing the wheel going on with every relationship. i don't know if it will turn out better or worse in the long run... but it is what it is. What? I mean, yeah of course, and I've seen that plenty, but-- so what? How does that even enter into this conversation? Well, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I turned 55 on the first, and have been cognisant of BDSM desires for about 50 years of my life. I found the gay and lesbian leather community in the early nineties. Untill then, I did what I could-- not as much as I would have liked, since it was so hard to feel safe. Ah, well, I'm a bottom-- but not a sub.

And also, I'm not... heterosexual. *cough*

I can see how you might have been mislead since I was talking about young studs and all. And I do play with men once in a while.

But I just might be the one picking your dumped lady up off the floor and showing her a better time.

Stella I am pleased to meet you too. Thank you. I did understand you were speaking of psychological maturity. Yes you really need a mature PYL (Damn I hate that term. Anyway) but what I was attempting to point out is not all young men are immature. So assume a mature 22yo. and a obviously mature 36yo. pyl. both are at the peak of their sexual maturity. Sounds like a smoking deal to me.

My comment about WYSIWUG was to mention emotional maturity or lack there of is not exclusive to one gender. Yes, I did read the article about men seemly maturing later then in the past. I in large part blame it on society and parents. Both emphasize you are not responsible. Everything is someone elses fault. You got fired? Must be the boss hated you. Disregard the fact you are late for work on a regular basis. Oh, never mind finding a job the government will pay you 75% of your salary. Mommy and daddy will let you live rent free as long as you wish. So why take a job beneath your dignity like flipping burgers when someone or several someones will look after you.Is it really any wonder some mature late or maybe not at all when there is no personnel responsibility for your actions?

As for the young woman of today I almost feel sorry for them. They are expected to go to college, have a career, get married, and have children. They are pushed and pulled in so may different directions. Should she graduate with a degree in Social Work she will make maybe $35K and will owe $20K+ in student loans. If she were to have gotten into one of the construction trades, like plumber, carpenter, or electrician, she would be close to being a Journeyman and making as much as $80K and no student loans. But no that is not a "CAREER" it is not feminine.
In this day and age a woman should never depend on a man for anything, except maybe sex, and there are substitutes for men there too.

I to got my start in BDSM with the Gay Leather community in San Francisco. The gay leather guys were about the only ones who were open about their their kink. There used to be several really good leather shops in the Castro district. I bought my first flogger, slapper, and set of cuffs there.
Kinda funny when you understand I am strictly hetro. and I was also in the military. Hanging around with "a bunch of homo pervs" was a real no no at the time.

Sorry about rambling on. If there are any points I failed to address or other issues you may have let me know or PM me and I gladly respond.

As to the woman watching me walk out the door. Enjoy. She is just not that much into me.<G>

 

[Stella_Omega]

Funny thing, JustaScoundrel-- I do construction and woodworking, and have worked in a few machine shops as well. If it's practical, physical hand work, I want to do it.

And in my day, young ladies were not allowed in the highschool machine and wood shops. Not even when their parents went to the school to argue for them. I learned the basics from my dad, and picked up bits and pieces on the job.

Nowadays, I get youngsters of both sexes wanting to come hang out in my shop and learn stuff. I'm a good teacher.

Unfortunately, I can't often let them since I have no insurance for visitors having accidents.

I to got my start in BDSM with the Gay Leather community in San Francisco. The gay leather guys were about the only ones who were open about their their kink. There used to be several really good leather shops in the Castro district. I bought my first flogger, slapper, and set of cuffs there.
Kinda funny when you understand I am strictly hetro. and I was also in the military. Hanging around with "a bunch of homo pervs" was a real no no at the time.

Yep that's got to have been the only functioning group at the time! I was still a kid in 67-- trying to get into wood shop.

 

[Etoile]

I only wouldn't like someone without experience. I don't care if they're younger/older, I don't want to have to teach. It doesn't have to be as much experience as I have, but it should be some experience.

I'm perfectly willing to teach from an outsider's perspective, but in my relationships, I'd rather not.

 

[welkin]

And in my day, young ladies were not allowed in the highschool machine and wood shops. Not even when their parents went to the school to argue for them. I learned the basics from my dad, and picked up bits and pieces on the job.

Love how the times have changed... I enjoyed woodshop classes a lot when I was in middle and high school =)



As for having a younger dom (not just spanking, in general as well), I wouldn't necessarily rule it out, but it's just not preferred. It'd probably make me feel insecure.

 

[subtle_Dom]

Love how the times have changed... I enjoyed woodshop classes a lot when I was in middle and high school =)



As for having a younger dom (not just spanking, in general as well), I wouldn't necessarily rule it out, but it's just not preferred. It'd probably make me feel insecure.

Alot has changed since I was young most of the barriers seem to have been torn down... but isn't it true that a mature dom could make u feel insecure as well? isnt it all about finding the one who can give u the necessary level of trust to feel secure enough to submit? Maybe that is easier with an older person but there may be exceptions.

 

[welkin]

Alot has changed since I was young most of the barriers seem to have been torn down... but isn't it true that a mature dom could make u feel insecure as well? isnt it all about finding the one who can give u the necessary level of trust to feel secure enough to submit? Maybe that is easier with an older person but there may be exceptions.

Maybe I'm being a bit bratty, but I'd expect the dom to best me in some area in order for me to admire and therefore want to submit to him... So with an older dom I'll happily take my place, chalking my "defeat" to his experience in life... I don't think I'll so easily accept the dominance of someone who's younger though...

I suppose this can be likened to not being receptive to the idea of being managed by a younger boss....

 

[switchbitch]

Alot has changed since I was young most of the barriers seem to have been torn down... but isn't it true that a mature dom could make u feel insecure as well? isnt it all about finding the one who can give u the necessary level of trust to feel secure enough to submit? Maybe that is easier with an older person but there may be exceptions.

Hear ,hear!
I have played with all ages at all of my ages, and for me at least, it is true that I have found age has nothing to do with whether I respond someone or not. For many the social mores they were raised in dictate that dominance equates with age and obviously their mental attitude will be affected by those mores. For me it has never been an issue. And as for the number of people who specify how many years younger is okay or how many years older is okay, I find that very difficult to understand.15 years difference is okay?but 16 is not? It just seems very strange to me to set such an arbitrary limit no matter what that limit is. Submission for me is all about responding to the dominance in that very special other. And HIS 'dominance' ensures my abject delighted submission, not his age.

 

[TrueFox]

Maybe I'm being a bit bratty, but I'd expect the dom to best me in some area in order for me to admire and therefore want to submit to him... So with an older dom I'll happily take my place, chalking my "defeat" to his experience in life... I don't think I'll so easily accept the dominance of someone who's younger though...

I suppose this can be likened to not being receptive to the idea of being managed by a younger boss....

I identify a lot with this post, although I don't see submitting to a Dom as accepting "defeat". It is a choice that I make freely, and the person at the other end of this choice gets to be in control because they are understanding and perceptive of this dynamic. Since I am stubborn, shut down easily, and often don't do as I am told, I haven't found anyone my age who can keep up with this part of me, although I am sure they exist.

It might also be that I just enjoy older men more.

 

[Netzach]

If I was going to get spanked by a dude on a regular basis, I would want to be attracted to him, painfully attracted. I'm shallow like that. So it might be a perk, beautiful youth.

Then, I like the idea that I could take this probably less experienced than I am being, and teach him everything he could possibly want to know about spanking girls or whatever. It would be even more fun if I could crossdress him and create a devastatingly beautiful Mistress of my own invention, liable to "do as I would do" and feed my narcissism if I were to feel worshipful toward her.

What was the question? Sorry...

 

[welkin]

I identify a lot with this post, although I don't see submitting to a Dom as accepting "defeat". It is a choice that I make freely, and the person at the other end of this choice gets to be in control because they are understanding and perceptive of this dynamic. Since I am stubborn, shut down easily, and often don't do as I am told, I haven't found anyone my age who can keep up with this part of me, although I am sure they exist.

It might also be that I just enjoy older men more.

By "defeat", I certainly don't mean submission is being defeated. I mean to accept that I am less ____ than him in some area. For example, less mature, less experienced, etc... I want someone who can bring out the best in me, as well as show me where I can improve.

But to have a younger guy show me how I can be more mature? No no no that's just wrong (read: not for me)

 

[TrueFox]

By "defeat", I certainly don't mean submission is being defeated. I mean to accept that I am less ____ than him in some area. For example, less mature, less experienced, etc... I want someone who can bring out the best in me, as well as show me where I can improve.

But to have a younger guy show me how I can be more mature? No no no that's just wrong (read: not for me)

Well-put. I am right there with you.

 

[where]

If I was going to get spanked by a dude on a regular basis, I would want to be attracted to him, painfully attracted. I'm shallow like that. So it might be a perk, beautiful youth.

Then, I like the idea that I could take this probably less experienced than I am being, and teach him everything he could possibly want to know about spanking girls or whatever. It would be even more fun if I could crossdress him and create a devastatingly beautiful Mistress of my own invention, liable to "do as I would do" and feed my narcissism if I were to feel worshipful toward her.

What was the question? Sorry...

*likes*

 

[subtle_Dom]

Hear ,hear!
I have played with all ages at all of my ages, and for me at least, it is true that I have found age has nothing to do with whether I respond someone or not. For many the social mores they were raised in dictate that dominance equates with age and obviously their mental attitude will be affected by those mores. For me it has never been an issue. And as for the number of people who specify how many years younger is okay or how many years older is okay, I find that very difficult to understand.15 years difference is okay?but 16 is not? It just seems very strange to me to set such an arbitrary limit no matter what that limit is. Submission for me is all about responding to the dominance in that very special other. And HIS 'dominance' ensures my abject delighted submission, not his age.

Well put... that being said i wish i knew then what i know now

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

I have problems with many of the assumptions on this thread.

Firstly we seem to assume a 22yo. PYL has none to almost no experience. I can see where he could have joined a local BDSM club at 18 and has 4 years experience.

Secondly we seem to assume a 36yo. pyl has vast experience. Another potentially incorrect assumption. I know a woman who is a member of a board for new subs to answers their questions and offer advice. She tells me the vast majority of new members were between 35 and 50 yo. To join that board you only needed 1 submissive experience. Hardly vast experience.

My point is assuming a young person is inexperienced and an older one has vast experience is fallacious.

Please understand I am not knocking those who do have experience only their assumption that those who are younger have no to very little and vice versa.

In full disclosure I was 28 when I came to BDSM and was taught by a 22yo. submissive, or at least guided for several months by her. Thank you Emmy.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm assuming a difference between a dom and a top. I assume a difference in objectives, preferences, styles and requirements between a dom and a top.

I could imagine playing with a very young top-- I cannot imagine a 22 year old man capable of dominance. The boy would be so entirely, remarkably, mature that domming would be the very least of his interesting abilities.

I'm not sure what kind of submission is called for, but on a purely physical level-- Spanking, per se, is topping, in my language.

 

[welkin]

How about, all else being equal (i.e. Maturity, years of experience in this lifestyle, hotness etc.), is there still a preference? I myself would still choose the older given the choice.

 

[NomadLady]

How young is too young? I know it when I see it. And I see it-- very often, frankly.

Don't get me wrong, I could purely enjoy a spanking from some young stud with big hands and more energy than me. But-- submit? That's not the word that springs to my mind...

Ditto Stella's remarks on this one....

 

[Netzach]

I have problems with many of the assumptions on this thread.

Firstly we seem to assume a 22yo. PYL has none to almost no experience. I can see where he could have joined a local BDSM club at 18 and has 4 years experience.

Secondly we seem to assume a 36yo. pyl has vast experience. Another potentially incorrect assumption. I know a woman who is a member of a board for new subs to answers their questions and offer advice. She tells me the vast majority of new members were between 35 and 50 yo. To join that board you only needed 1 submissive experience. Hardly vast experience.

My point is assuming a young person is inexperienced and an older one has vast experience is fallacious.

Please understand I am not knocking those who do have experience only their assumption that those who are younger have no to very little and vice versa.

In full disclosure I was 28 when I came to BDSM and was taught by a 22yo. submissive, or at least guided for several months by her. Thank you Emmy.

This is true and often actually bears out. I find that a lot of younger players spend more time doing and less time pondering. Hormones and all nighters.

 

[Netzach]

I'm assuming a difference between a dom and a top. I assume a difference in objectives, preferences, styles and requirements between a dom and a top.

I could imagine playing with a very young top-- I cannot imagine a 22 year old man capable of dominance. The boy would be so entirely, remarkably, mature that domming would be the very least of his interesting abilities.

I'm not sure what kind of submission is called for, but on a purely physical level-- Spanking, per se, is topping, in my language.

Sure there are. Come on, Alexander the Great and shit happened. It's not like it happens as often as it does in the dreams of babes, but there have been men of incredible charisma and magnetism like that which might be required to be the leader in a relationship.

Now, are they going to be *wise* leaders, not wildly, but I dislike this idea that only dominance we like as a community is dominance.

The only real question is, will someone find him charismatic and exciting and un-insane enough to take an order or two. Why not?

I mean I don't think I was exactly brilliant at 23, but I'm kind of glad that I wasn't laughed out of the ballpark.

I dislike that when it comes to male doms we, as a community are just DYING to eat our young. Forks out. When it comes to Dommes in their 20's everyone wants to be your demo dummy.