Spanked over the knee of a younger Dom

[midwestyankee]

Sure there are. Come on, Alexander the Great and shit happened. It's not like it happens as often as it does in the dreams of babes, but there have been men of incredible charisma and magnetism like that which might be required to be the leader in a relationship.

Now, are they going to be *wise* leaders, not wildly, but I dislike this idea that only dominance we like as a community is dominance.

The only real question is, will someone find him charismatic and exciting and un-insane enough to take an order or two. Why not?

I mean I don't think I was exactly brilliant at 23, but I'm kind of glad that I wasn't laughed out of the ballpark.

I dislike that when it comes to male doms we, as a community are just DYING to eat our young. Forks out. When it comes to Dommes in their 20's everyone wants to be your demo dummy.

Ageism works differently from each side of the fence, doesn't it?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Sure there are. Come on, Alexander the Great and shit happened. It's not like it happens as often as it does in the dreams of babes, but there have been men of incredible charisma and magnetism like that which might be required to be the leader in a relationship.

Maybe so, but they got their start in adulthood far far younger than most of our men do now. You know, like-- watching their uncle murder their father and shit. AND knowing why.

And as I said; The boy would be so entirely, remarkably, mature that domming would be the very least of his interesting abilities.

Now, are they going to be *wise* leaders, not wildly, but I dislike this idea that only dominance we like as a community is dominance.

You mean-- the only form of topping? Well, I just never see anyone talking about anything else. Dominance is the default term. Here's scoundrel for isntance, saying the woman had better truly submit to him-- what the fuck is that supposed to mean, anyway? She's taking a spanking. I'd be soaking up the sensations, I do know that. And expressing my pleasure and gratitude, in whatever way the guy feels bests expresses that for him.

The only real question is, will someone find him charismatic and exciting and un-insane enough to take an order or two. Why not?

I mean I don't think I was exactly brilliant at 23, but I'm kind of glad that I wasn't laughed out of the ballpark.

I dislike that when it comes to male doms we, as a community are just DYING to eat our young. Forks out. When it comes to Dommes in their 20's everyone wants to be your demo dummy.

Oh, come on -- do you really think men flock to young Dommes for their authority? If that's at all true, then I'd say men have a very very low bar when they think about authoritative women.

 

[Aurantica]

Maybe so, but they got their start in adulthood far far younger than most of our men do now. You know, like-- watching their uncle murder their father and shit. AND knowing why.

And as I said; The boy would be so entirely, remarkably, mature that domming would be the very least of his interesting abilities. You mean-- the only form of topping? Well, I just never see anyone talking about anything else. Dominance is the default term. Here's scoundrel for isntance, saying the woman had better truly submit to him-- what the fuck is that supposed to mean, anyway? She's taking a spanking. I'd be soaking up the sensations, I do know that. And expressing my pleasure and gratitude, in whatever way the guy feels bests expresses that for him. Oh, come on -- do you really think men flock to young Dommes for their authority? If that's at all true, then I'd say men have a very very low bar when they think about authoritative women.

As a relativley new member of the community, and a relativley young one, I can say that I've had a fair share of men PM me looking for a Domme. Technically, being a Domme is all about having authority. And boobs.

And, despite what some men might think, a brain.

 

[switchbitch]

Maybe so, but they got their start in adulthood far far younger than most of our men do now. You know, like-- watching their uncle murder their father and shit. AND knowing why.

And as I said; The boy would be so entirely, remarkably, mature that domming would be the very least of his interesting abilities. You mean-- the only form of topping? Well, I just never see anyone talking about anything else. Dominance is the default term. Here's scoundrel for isntance, saying the woman had better truly submit to him-- what the fuck is that supposed to mean, anyway? She's taking a spanking. I'd be soaking up the sensations, I do know that. And expressing my pleasure and gratitude, in whatever way the guy feels bests expresses that for him. Oh, come on -- do you really think men flock to young Dommes for their authority? If that's at all true, then I'd say men have a very very low bar when they think about authoritative women.

hi Stella,
although I have seen you post numerous times regarding topping versus dominating I am still a little unclear as to your definition of the differences.I know we all define things according to the Nuance of our own lives but it would make it easier to understand where you are coming from if you could define your terms specifically.my definitions may be very different from yours and I would like to understand yours please.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Hi Switchbitch,

To me, "domination" means something more emotional than sensory, more mentally taxing than physically, more psychological than physical in nature-- a stye of topping that aims for the mind more than the body. Master, slave owner, pet owner, daddy, mommy, dominants. Dominating.

Topping is more physical. Administering pain or pleasure, bondage, orgasms--

and of course there is no doubt that mental and physical are intertwined, that lots of physical activities require some submission to the top's will, lots of mental dominations are made manifest through physical means. There are no hard lines...

But-- submission is not the end and the all for many of us. Not in the sense I mean it. And when any old bystander judges a kinky woman's sexuality by whether or not she submits properly, or seems to, or has been taught to...

I totally claim the right to judge doms by whether or not they are worth "submitting" to.

Bottoming-- much more likely.

 

[switchbitch]

Hi Switchbitch,

To me, "domination" means something more emotional than sensory, more mentally taxing than physically, more psychological than physical in nature-- a stye of topping that aims for the mind more than the body. Master, slave owner, pet owner, daddy, mommy, dominants. Dominating.

Topping is more physical. Administering pain or pleasure, bondage, orgasms--

and of course there is no doubt that mental and physical are intertwined, that lots of physical activities require some submission to the top's will, lots of mental dominations are made manifest through physical means. There are no hard lines...

But-- submission is not the end and the all for many of us. Not in the sense I mean it. And when any old bystander judges a kinky woman's sexuality by whether or not she submits properly, or seems to, or has been taught to...

I totally claim the right to judge doms by whether or not they are worth "submitting" to.

Bottoming-- much more likely.

thank you Stella,
much clearer and very close to my own definition.

 

[switchbitch]

Hi Switchbitch,

To me, "domination" means something more emotional than sensory, more mentally taxing than physically, more psychological than physical in nature-- a stye of topping that aims for the mind more than the body. Master, slave owner, pet owner, daddy, mommy, dominants. Dominating.

Topping is more physical. Administering pain or pleasure, bondage, orgasms--

and of course there is no doubt that mental and physical are intertwined, that lots of physical activities require some submission to the top's will, lots of mental dominations are made manifest through physical means. There are no hard lines...

But-- submission is not the end and the all for many of us. Not in the sense I mean it. And when any old bystander judges a kinky woman's sexuality by whether or not she submits properly, or seems to, or has been taught to...

I totally claim the right to judge doms by whether or not they are worth "submitting" to.

Bottoming-- much more likely.

Being a true switch, the lines of definition get blurred, I am sometimes dominant, sometimes submissive, sometimes sadistic and sometimes masochistic. These can be expressed and driven physically , mentally or emotionally. And in any mixture often depending on the nature of the one that I am playing with or merely my mood.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Being a true switch, the lines of definition get blurred, I am sometimes dominant, sometimes submissive, sometimes sadistic and sometimes masochistic. These can be expressed and driven physically , mentally or emotionally. And in any mixture often depending on the nature of the one that I am playing with or merely my mood.

Always, the lines are blurred. When I top, I sometimes feel completely in my partner's power-- my whole attention is on her, hoping that my mind-reading powers are working so that the next slap of my hand, or the flogger will hit exactly right where she wants it...

And yeah, the impulse to ownership... makes sense sometimes too.

 

[switchbitch]

Always, the lines are blurred. When I top, I sometimes feel completely in my partner's power-- my whole attention is on her, hoping that my mind-reading powers are working so that the next slap of my hand, or the flogger will hit exactly right where she wants it...

And yeah, the impulse to ownership... makes sense sometimes too.

yes indeed

 

[naif]

much younger than me would be . well wrong. not to mention illegal...and at some point i think i'd have trouble taking them seriously.

On the other hand I dont go about asking mens age that I meet...one estimates,, so if one came across dominant and in control, i would perceive the age higher so yes and no, id say.

 

[switchbitch]

much younger than me would be . well wrong. not to mention illegal...and at some point i think i'd have trouble taking them seriously.

On the other hand I dont go about asking mens age that I meet...one estimates,, so if one came across dominant and in control, i would perceive the age higher so yes and no, id say.

Well put! Perception is all isn't it?

 

[lous_reed]

Well put! Perception is all isn't it?

Having read thru the thread, I would say that this is really the answer. While the physical side is the obvious part of the relationship, the mental side is where it truely exists. How we perceive ourselves and our partners is the driving force.