StillStunned's collection of useful pointers for writers

[onehitwanda]

Does anyone know the explanation for this:

Did not = didn't
Can not = can't
Will not = won't (Why not "willn't")

[just having some fun with English]

See my previous rant on the subject.

 

[StillStunned]

Does anyone know the explanation for this:

Did not = didn't
Can not = can't
Will not = won't (Why not "willn't")

[just having some fun with English]

The explanation is that English is weird. Like how Robert becomes Bobby.

Actually, the real explanation probably has to do with linguistic and philological developments, from Old English developing out of Germanic and Nordic versions of the same language, then being supressed by the introduction of Norman French after 1066, and the evolution of different dialects in different parts of the country.

I remember one Linguistics class at uni, where we tracked the evolution of the word "book" from Old English. If it had developed according to the rules, the modern plural wouldn't be "books", it would be "beech". (Don't ask me for details: I could never be arsed to pay attention to linguistics, never remind remembering the details.)

 

[StillStunned]

Contractions

Isn't. We're. Can't.

One thing I've noticed about AI-generated text is that contractions seem to be all over the place, with no rhyme or reason. That's jarring, and takes the reader out of the experience.

So here's my big tip: be consistent. But not too consistent.

Contractions make your writing more natural. Particularly dialogue (including internal dialogue) benefits from using them, and first-person narration. Go ahead and use them there as often as you can, unless it makes sense not to. You can omit contractions to show a different style of speech. A formal proclamation, or a character who you want to present as posher or snobbier than the POV characters. Someone whose speech is stilted, for example a non-native speaker. This makes for a subtle difference that readers might not notice consciously but will highlight the differences between characters.

Another important issue is emphasis. Don't use contractions if you want to emphasise either the subject or the verb. Don't use them if they don't fit the rhythm of the sentence or paragraph (but you can sometimes get around this by adding the occasional "that" that so many writing courses tell you to delete). Don't force them: you might contract "it will" to "it'll" in direct speech or first-person narration, but it's a bit more colloquial than most contractions and would look out of place in a descriptive text.

Most importantly: don't contract "who are". It looks like "whore", and even if you're reading it aloud it will sound like the line from "Sally Maclennane" by The Pogues: "I played the pump and took the hump and watered whiskey down/I talked of whores and horses to the men who drank the brown." (By extension, I'd also avoid "who've".)

 

[Bazzle]

The problem with "lying in bed"...you have to question was the protagonist was saying is the truth?

My characters tend to be so drunk they end up sprawled or passed out in bed

Dang... I am just proof reading my latest story

"Lying on her bed with her fingers on her clit, Pam was also highly relieved..."

Hmmm

 

[SimonDoom]

I thought this was a British/US thing? A Brit will say, "I was lying in bed." An American will say, "I was laying in bed."

Or am I mistaken, is it wrong in USian too?

No. It's the same. At least to this American. I maintain a strict distinction between "lay" and "lie." "Lay" takes an object.

People DO confuse "lay" and "lie" in casual speech all the time. I don't know if that's similarly true in Britain.

 

[StillStunned]

People DO confuse "lay" and "lie" in casual speech all the time. I don't know if that's similarly true in Britain.

I've never heard it. As @onehitwanda said, laying is what you do with eggs.

 

[SimonDoom]

I've never heard it. As @onehitwanda said, laying is what you do with eggs.

"Lay" also is sometimes used for artistic/literary purposes. I think people think it sounds better, or perhaps is more poetic, or perhaps rhymes better in a particular context.

Example, Bob Dylan's song, "Lay Lady Lay." Should be "Lie Lady Lie." But that doesn't sound as good.

Joan Didion wrote a book called "Play it as it Lays." It's named after a golfing aphorism, but it should be "Play it as it lies." Buy "Lay" rhymes with "play."

British guitarist Eric Clapton's song "Lay Down Sally" is an example.

 

[StillStunned]

And the crisps* should be called Lies!

AKA "chips".

 

[nice90sguy]

laying is what you do with eggs.

I'll never cease to be astounded at the level of perversity here

 

[SimonDoom]

And the crisps* should be called Lies!

AKA "chips".

Lay me down with a pint and some chips and vinegar, and I'll be a happy customer.

 

[samhasstories]

Just don't piss on your chips.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I've never heard it. As @onehitwanda said, laying is what you do with eggs.

Brits misuse 'lay' all the time. "Come lay down next to me"

I remember getting drilled in the present, past, and past participles of lie and lay at primary school, and half the classes had never heard the word lain - or had assumed it was layin'.

 

[StillStunned]

Brits misuse 'lay' all the time. "Come lay down next to me"

I remember getting drilled in the present, past, and past participles of lie and lay at primary school, and half the classes had never heard the word lain - or had assumed it was layin'.

[Laments what the world is coming to]

 

[samhasstories]

I'll admit to just giving up on lay/lie/lying/lain/laid/whatever. I think in general I have a decent grasp on the whole grammar thing - I know how to talk good - but I don't think I ever get that one right.

 

[onehitwanda]

I'll never cease to be astounded at the level of perversity here

Don't blame me for what the voices make me write.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

This is different if you want to insert a relative clause - a piece of information that qualifies your subject. "The woman whose brother went to school with me back when I was in my twenties, who turned to look at me when I entered, was as beautiful as I remembered." This extra information could also have been put in brackets (or parentheses, for our US brethren). If you can leave it out and still have a complete sentence, include a comma at the beginning and at the end. Don't write, "The woman whose brother went to school with me back when I was in my twenties, who turned to look at me when I entered was as beautiful as I remembered." (See how I omitted the second comma?)

The subordinate clause - I use it all the time. The trick is that if you ignore everything between the commas it should read smoothly and be a complete sentence. The subordinate clause is just inserted in the middle at the appropriate spot and delineated with the commas.

It is an excellent way to combine sentences and vary your structures.

The man went to the store. He was wearing a fedora. He bought a loaf of bread.

This reads as repetitive and sounds very boring.

The man, who was wearing a fedora, went to the store. He bought a loaf of bread.

This already sounds better as it has flow. It's not robotic and awkward. Notice that if you ignore everything between the commas "The man went to the store," is still a complete sentence that reads perfectly smoothly. It is also much better than ...

The man went to the store and was wearing a fedora. He bought a loaf of bread.

 

[StillStunned]

Notice that if you ignore everything between the commas "The man went to the store," is still a complete sentence that reads perfectly smoothly.

Yup. Like I said, in this situation they function like brackets/parentheses. Not that I'm telling people to use brackets/parentheses here, but people rarely forget to close their brackets. I'm saying that you should remember to "close" the commas in these structures.

 

[onehitwanda]

The subordinate clause - I use it all the time. The trick is that if you ignore everything between the commas it should read smoothly and be a complete sentence. The subordinate clause is just inserted in the middle at the appropriate spot and delineated with the commas.

It is an excellent way to combine sentences and vary your structures.



This reads as repetitive and sounds very boring.



This already sounds better as it has flow. It's not robotic and awkward. Notice that if you ignore everything between the commas "The man went to the store," is still a complete sentence that reads perfectly smoothly. It is also much better than ...

The fedora-afflicted man entered the store. Hunching from the anticipated scorn of the many other customers, he skulked to the bakery, retrieved a loaf of bread, and did his best to buy it and escape unharmed.

 

[samhasstories]

The fedora-afflicted man entered the store. Hunching from the anticipated scorn of the many other customers, he skulked to the bakery, retrieved a loaf of bread, and did his best to buy it and escape unharmed.

I like "fedora-afflicted." He's an innocent victim - the hat chose him.

 

[onehitwanda]

I like "fedora-afflicted." He's an innocent victim - the hat chose him.

it's the snorting hat - like an undead drop-bear.

 

[SimonDoom]

Head proudly festooned with his new, bright-orange fedora, the man skipped merrily to the bakery, entered its environs with aplomb, and exchanged his few shekels for a steaming fresh loaf of sourdough and a wedge of manchego.

 

[onehitwanda]

Head proudly festooned with his new, bright-orange fedora, the man skipped merrily to the bakery, entered its environs with aplomb, and exchanged his few shekels for a steaming fresh loaf of sourdough and a wedge of manchego.

The radio crackled.
"Target has acquired the cheese. Target is preparing for egress."
"Permission to engage," the woman said, hoping...
"Negative at this time, Ma'am. Observe, Critique, Contain only."
"For fuck sakes, Top - he's wearing a fucking Fedora. In public."
"I don't make the rules, Ma'am."
"It's bright fucking orange, for God's sake."
"Could be worse, Ma'am."
"How, Top? How could it be worse?"
"He could be wearing an Opera cloak."
"... alright, fine, you got me."

 

[samhasstories]

Borne by its hapless prey, the fedora lurched into the bakery, directed its minion to select a few items of generic human fare and, witnesses seemingly put at ease, returned to its lair to prepare the next step of its plan.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Yup. Like I said, in this situation they function like brackets/parentheses. Not that I'm telling people to use brackets/parentheses here, but people rarely forget to close their brackets. I'm saying that you should remember to "close" the commas in these structures.

(swoon)

 

[Euphony]

Don't blame me for what the voices make me write.