Story VS descriptions

[Bamagan]

Aha, is that what they mean by "giving head"?

It's sometimes also called 'making an O face'.

 

[Djmac1031]

Well defined on the edge, but a bit hollow inside.

But when properly dilated, one's whole face can fit inside.

Aha, is that what they mean by "giving head"?

It's sometimes also called 'making an O face'.

Hi. I'm DJ. The originator of this thread. And I approve this derailment.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

So I'm putting the final edit on what has become my longest story to date, just over 22K words.

I know to some of you that's nothing of course. But here's what I'm discovering as I review it:

I spent a lot of words telling the actual story. This character did that, etc. I spent far less words describing people or scenes. A character walks into a room. No really depth on what that character looks like, what they're wearing, or what the room looks like.

Not that there's no colorful descriptions at all. It's just at a minium.

I'm adding a few flourishes here and there but at this point I'm more interested in simply finishing the thing and making sure the story works logically, flows well, and hopefully is entertaining.

I've never been one to write long passages dedicated to descriptive text anyway I suppose. I've often been told my style is "simplistic," and I don't really take that as a negative. I tend to tell just enough to set the scene and hopefully readers fill in the blanks.

Still, I sometimes wish I had a little more skill at that kinda thing, to paint a more vivid image in a readers head.

I suppose I'm curious how some of you feel about it. As a reader, do you care what, say, a house the characters are in looks like? What color the walls or or the style of furniture? Does it help immerse you in the story? Or are you more interested in the actual events taking place in the house? What the characters are doing/ saying?

Obviously I'm sure there will be varying opinions on this. Not looking for any definitive answers or anything, just musing out loud.

I think my story is pretty solid, despite my minimalist approach to scene / character descriptions.

I suppose it'll be up to readers after that.

Writing in the niche I do, I find I spend a lot of tie describing clothes and outfits. One, I like clothes, the more feminine the better. Two, I can use that to set the stage for just how feminine my MC feels in the moment or what their intentions may be in the near future. Say she's going out with friends...

"I grabbed my skinny jeans and pulled on my favorite ZZ Top T-shirt" sets a different tone than, say, "My red leather mini skirt matched my six-inch heels and teased my thighs, just barely covering the tops of my stockings. The way my matching vest Left my tummy exposed was indescribably delicious. The little butterfly I'd had put in my belly button earlier, danced just below the vest's red leather as my lace pushup bra made ample cleavage of my too-modest breasts, that the deep V of the neckline eagerly exposed."

Obviously, I made the difference obvious to illustrate the point, but, yeah, when appropriate, I love to go into detail. I have a traditional romance novel I'm editing that has a road house and a diner I go into excruciating detail in describing as they are both almost characters in the story. The detail adds a lot of color.

 

[Djmac1031]

One, I like clothes, the more feminine the better.

lol. I still remember the trauma of writing a Jenna chapter where Jenna and her friend Trish went to the mall to try on outfits for a party and realizing I'd have to write detailed descriptions of not just two, but several different outfits.

Online clothing catalogs were my savior there.

 

[Cagivagurl]

So I'm putting the final edit on what has become my longest story to date, just over 22K words.

I know to some of you that's nothing of course. But here's what I'm discovering as I review it:

I spent a lot of words telling the actual story. This character did that, etc. I spent far less words describing people or scenes. A character walks into a room. No really depth on what that character looks like, what they're wearing, or what the room looks like.

Not that there's no colorful descriptions at all. It's just at a minium.

I'm adding a few flourishes here and there but at this point I'm more interested in simply finishing the thing and making sure the story works logically, flows well, and hopefully is entertaining.

I've never been one to write long passages dedicated to descriptive text anyway I suppose. I've often been told my style is "simplistic," and I don't really take that as a negative. I tend to tell just enough to set the scene and hopefully readers fill in the blanks.

Still, I sometimes wish I had a little more skill at that kinda thing, to paint a more vivid image in a readers head.

I suppose I'm curious how some of you feel about it. As a reader, do you care what, say, a house the characters are in looks like? What color the walls or or the style of furniture? Does it help immerse you in the story? Or are you more interested in the actual events taking place in the house? What the characters are doing/ saying?

Obviously I'm sure there will be varying opinions on this. Not looking for any definitive answers or anything, just musing out loud.

I think my story is pretty solid, despite my minimalist approach to scene / character descriptions.

I suppose it'll be up to readers after that.

Personally...
I'm drawn to stories full of details and lovely rich dialogue...
I'm more interested in the characters, but on many occasions, surroundings are what colour our characters.... Give them life.
If a character is passionate about their job, or the home in which they live. Then those things become important to the story and require description...
No two readers are the same, we each enjoy different aspects... You must write what you write.
If it felt good for you, then it is good....

Cagivagurl

 

[THBGato]

How do I approach this? Probably not as well as I'd like.

One thing I do is use real settings. Thus, if readers desperately want to know what La Soleá in Madrid or The Academy in Bristol look like they can just Google.

Otherwise I try to see characters through the eyes of other characters ("oh, I love that coat. Where did you get it? That green matches your eyes perfectly.") Thus I can both describe and show.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I use what I call grace notes: little speckles of description that provide colour, like the curl of blonde hair on her cheek, the chase of a table napkin that's been blown by the wind and caught by the handsome man she sees regularly, who smiles when he gives it back to her and she's grateful. She smiles back; and the next day he's there again, and on Wednesday she says, "Here's your usual. I'm Lizzie, by the way." She's quite casual the way she says it, but it's been well rehearsed.

And another EB story begins.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

lol. I still remember the trauma of writing a Jenna chapter where Jenna and her friend Trish went to the mall to try on outfits for a party and realizing I'd have to write detailed descriptions of not just two, but several different outfits.

Online clothing catalogs were my savior there.

Online clothing catalogs are my nemesis. I have more heels than I’ll ever wear.

 

[Cacatua_Galerita]

The setting is relevant to your question. If your characters are sitting in a McDonald’s restaurant, then little description is necessary. If they’re on an alien planet, then more is required.

As a reader, I’m happy to leave details unspecified when they’re unimportant. Skin color, the weather outside, make of vehicle, and such, aren’t essential to the story. (But they can be used to add texture to a scene, for mood.)

I don’t like to rework my mental imagery. If your characters ‘take their food outside to sit on the bench seat,’ then I’ll assume it’s a park bench. If the FMC one-thousand-words later, ‘leans forward to gaze into his eyes, her elbows leaning on the booth’s table’ then I have to rebuild my mental image. Don’t do that. It’s like fans complaining whenever the actors in the movie adaption don’t match the original literary description, it forces them to adjust their own conceptualization.

Stereotypes are strong influences. If your setting is a castle in the middle ages, then – left to my own devices – I’m going to assume your cunning hero is wearing green tights and has pearly-white teeth, while carrying a longbow and period-incorrect sword. Stop me early if you want something different.

 

[Britva415]

When writers are doing "show don't tell," description is often called for. Not always, but often.

There's another technique I call "evoke, don't describe." Can you imagine if Byron had tried to describe the feelings his descriptions evoked? You can already see a paradox, here, I'm sure: I'm saying he used descriptions. Yes, yes he did. But he described things which evoked the indescribable.

Anyway, there's no one way to write. Some writers are going to tell don't show, and it won't always be the wrong choice. Some writers are going to describe, others are going to evoke, others are going to do neither. They have different goals.

 

[AG31]

As seems to be the consensus here, it depends. Whatever you do, do it well.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Heh, psg's rule #1 of immersive description ~ never let a guy dress your female characters in an erotic story unless you want them to look like street-walking hookers wearing napkins.

 

[MrHereWriting]

Story vs Description

There is no versus here.

Story: Put as much as you want/need, but be consistent and don't be boring.

Description: Put as much as you want/need, but be consistent and don't be boring.

Some will like it, some won't, but are you happy with it?

 

[TarnishedPenny]

As seems to be the consensus here, it depends. Whatever you do, do it well.

Perfectly said!

 

[NotWise]

There are cases where the settings is effectively another character. If that's the case, then you need to describe at least its important features. One of my stories is set in an old theater. Only the opening scene and part of the closing scene are outside. Some details of the building are important: dead-end stairways and empty dressing rooms; swinging lights over the stage, sets on stage or waiting in the wings. Those all got some description.

Otherwise, you probably shouldn't spend more time on description than is needed to tell the story.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

So I'm putting the final edit on what has become my longest story to date, just over 22K words.

I know to some of you that's nothing of course. But here's what I'm discovering as I review it:

I spent a lot of words telling the actual story. This character did that, etc. I spent far less words describing people or scenes. A character walks into a room. No really depth on what that character looks like, what they're wearing, or what the room looks like.

Not that there's no colorful descriptions at all. It's just at a minium.

I'm adding a few flourishes here and there but at this point I'm more interested in simply finishing the thing and making sure the story works logically, flows well, and hopefully is entertaining.

I've never been one to write long passages dedicated to descriptive text anyway I suppose. I've often been told my style is "simplistic," and I don't really take that as a negative. I tend to tell just enough to set the scene and hopefully readers fill in the blanks.

Still, I sometimes wish I had a little more skill at that kinda thing, to paint a more vivid image in a readers head.

I suppose I'm curious how some of you feel about it. As a reader, do you care what, say, a house the characters are in looks like? What color the walls or or the style of furniture? Does it help immerse you in the story? Or are you more interested in the actual events taking place in the house? What the characters are doing/ saying?

Obviously I'm sure there will be varying opinions on this. Not looking for any definitive answers or anything, just musing out loud.

I think my story is pretty solid, despite my minimalist approach to scene / character descriptions.

I suppose it'll be up to readers after that.

There are two different techniques in play with your question:

Image:

Images refers to a description of something seen, smelled, touched, or heard. Images do not merely represent reality for readers; they draw readers in and cement their imagination into the story.

I have read stories here where you can almost smell the scent of sex after reading some of the scenes. That requires details.

Setting:

Setting refers to when the story takes place (time periods), where it takes place (geographic locations), cultural contexts, immediate surroundings, weather, times of day, or times of year mentioned in the story.

A setting can be used to create a mood, as an integral part of the plot (creating a conflict, etc.), to bring out certain aspects of the characters, and can also be used figuratively or symbolically to hint at the story's theme or reflect an interior state of the characters. The description of a character through the setting details can often tell readers more about the character as a person in real life than their physical description will.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Heh, psg's rule #1 of immersive description ~ never let a guy dress your female characters in an erotic story unless you want them to look like street-walking hookers wearing napkins.

Damn! Here's me, thinking I had some classy women who dressed well. Bugger!

 

[StillStunned]

Heh, psg's rule #1 of immersive description ~ never let a guy dress your female characters in an erotic story unless you want them to look like street-walking hookers wearing napkins.

Now there's an idea for a Nude Day Contest story...

 

[Rob_Royale]

Descriptions matter more when the setting is someplace unusual like in fantasy or sci-fi. If it's just happening in the living room, it doesn't need much. Just enough to set the scene.

She lay across the sofa, stretching languorously in the flickering light from the fireplace. Her welcoming smile was all the encouragement he required.

 

[StillStunned]

She lay across the sofa, stretching languorously in the flickering light from the fireplace. Her welcoming smile was all the encouragement he required.

Outside, a pair of hoverbees flew past the smaller of the two moons, their song resonating in his ears and sending vibrations down to his cock.

 

[lovecraft68]

The story is what matters. What good is describing a house, or a business, town, etc...in vivid detail when the people in it are uninteresting?

Unless there is a specific need-as in it will factor into a scene-I keep surroundings vague. I also keep descriptions of secondary characters brief, might mention hair or eye color as they're speaking, maybe a dress or aspect of their appearance, but they're not done in the detail of my MCs.

I think too much description of settings and other people take away from the stars of the shows. I guess if I wanted to compare this to art, I would picture a gray background with two vivid people in the midst of it.

 

[Erozetta]

Only time I've ever really written a significant amount of description was in a 750 where the house was literally the character.

I've also written a story that was largely devoid of setting. A dream space that was essentially just emptiness other than the two characters.

Beyond that... Interacting with other characters and things in their surroundings is enough description for me. (Pointing out the lack of furniture in a character's personal space, for example, to show they don't settle easily and like having the option to pick up and go on a whim without leaving a mess for someone else to deal with.)

 

[Devinter]

As a reader, do you care what, say, a house the characters are in looks like? What color the walls or or the style of furniture? Does it help immerse you in the story? Or are you more interested in the actual events taking place in the house? What the characters are doing/ saying?

To me, both as a reader and a writer, I'd really prefer if you only included one or two lengthy descriptions of a scene per 10k words or so. However, small drizzles of detail is very important to set the mood, to highlight a character's personality, and to elevate the story from just 'faceless people fucking in a void'. You might as well tell me, with a word or two, what kind of fabric or colour the sheets are as the female main character's fingers dig into them in the throes of passion - just don't linger on it, and don't do it all the time. Also, I think these kind of details are especially important when introducing a new character.

Take this example from my latest story Making Kiara Squirt, introducing a side-character that only plays a minor role during one of the scenes:

" A spectacled lady of considerable age approached them eventually, almost gliding up to them in a velvety black dress that looked far too fancy for a regular mid-morning at work. Her platinum hair had been styled into a poofy updo and she wore enough jewels around her neck to rival royalty. "Welcome to my humble boutique, dearies!" Madame Grandeline gushed. "The prices are negotiable. I want these precious things to find good homes, where they will be appreciated. Let me know what you like." The old lady clasped her hands together enthusiastically and her bracelets jingled together. Once she had said her piece, she didn't hover - she simply flitted off again. "

I feel like this passage gives the character personality. Since the character won't be in a lot of scenes, where you can build it all up piece by piece, there's multiple descriptors thrown in there rather quickly. But I wouldn't say that the passage is necessarily boring to read. It has a bit of dialogue, it adds life to the story, and it shows that the woman is something a bit above the ordinary - which is important as she later on offers the ladies a discount if they agree to kiss in front of her, which is a pretty outrageous thing to do. It would feel significantly more out of left field without an introduction that highlighted her eccentric nature in some ways. So it does serve some purpose too, in subtle ways.

 

[PennameWombat]

It depends. When I'm reading, I mostly don't like excessive detail about character appearances. Enough to provide a guide, but I don't want preciseness. Except where a detail is needed. So I'm the same when I write. In one story, one woman thinks of another woman "If Brandy's surgeon touched up her nose, she'd be nuts beautiful." (The story had revealed earlier Brandy (not involved in this current meeting) had a nose job so that's the reference to a 'surgeon,' so, the target character for this has been sketched out, but not really her face. Except for, well, this is as much as you get.)

I also have used houses almost as characters. But, I try to provide bits and pieces, mainly character observations, that one is old, weather-beaten and all in all, run down. So, "peeling paint," "warped floor boards," "threadbare carpet" and the fact that it's clearly the crap place on the block. But it's full of college (university) students and they're both transient and it's something they can afford, points which are also covered in conversations. So it's a stand-in for their situations, without describing all of that directly.

Then, thanks to a family situation, they get a much better house. Again, that gets sketched in, but where detail is needed, it pops up. Such as the fact that what appears to be a basement storeroom is actually a bomb shelter and EMP-proof hideaway (that story is set in the 1980s, the house was built in the mid 1960s, i.e., the Cuban Missile Crisis had happened as they were planning it) which plays a part in the plot.

One place I do provide greater detail is with my aliens. They're humanoid, but would be clearly identifiable if placed next to a human. So they get covered in enough detail to convey that. But they've also genetically-engineered some of their kind in hopes of passing them of as humans to act as spies. So I get to play with the 'uncanny valley' now and again (I also do that with humanoid bots.)

I write longer stores, 20,000 words is around my average, I have some that top 70,000 here (as single stories, I have series which are longer, but split up in multiple entries.) But I try to avoid long passages of description. I prefer to focus on what, I hope, the characters would notice as opposed to telling you about the paisley pattern on a raggedy easy chair (unless, uh, that plays a part in something.)

 

[AG31]

This thread put me in mind of a novel I finished a couple of days ago. On reflection there was virtually no description, per se. We did know that one female character had piercings all over and blue streaks in her hair. But it was evocative if rural Maine. We were told the names of the towns our MC repeatedly drove through. We were told about his daughter feeding the pony in the barn 5 minutes walk away. We were told about his bringing in the day's supply of fire wood. We weren't told what the towns or the barn or the pony or the stove looked like, but it wasnt necessary.