Sub-Types, Are You Passive In Bed?

[graceanne]

well for whatever it's worth Bunny, i knew what you meant by the word passive...and i was kinda confused too when people seemed to equate passive to watching paint dry, lol.

imo passive doesn't mean lifeless or dull or without spirit.

I think passive means different things to different people, kinda of like 'submission', 'domination', and 'cookie'.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I think passive means different things to different people, kinda of like 'submission', 'domination', and 'cookie'.

apparently!

btw, everyone knows "cookie" refers to peanut butter-oatmeal baked yummy rounds of goodness...and that's IT!

 

[graceanne]

apparently!

btw, everyone knows "cookie" refers to peanut butter-oatmeal baked yummy rounds of goodness...and that's IT!

Um, ok.

Sure.

You tell yourself that.

PEANUT BUTTER? EW!

After all, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

 

[Guest]

I think passive means different things to different people, kinda of like 'submission', 'domination', and 'cookie'.

Homemade chocolate chip. Big ol' chocolate chunks. Pecans.

Warm from the oven, chased with ice cold milk. Or served in a bowl of ice cream.

Or not warmed, and dunked in hot, black coffee.

Mmmmm.

 

[Guest]

Actually, I was just remembering a first time with a new partner, an intelligent and kind and demanding Dom. He managed to get inside my head before he ever touched me.

Throughout our time together he gave clear instructions, all the while asking me what I liked.

I was nervous and excited and was very responsive, (I hope). But during some powerful spanking I was absolutely unable to move. I recall gripping the pillow, whimpering, answering his quiet commands, most of which had to do with my own personal safety level.

Normally, I'm a wriggler. One of those who requires a hand (or knee - LOL) at the small of my back to settle me for some serious play.

But not this time.

(I'd still take some cookies, though.)

 

[cj_oh]

In general, we are about 50/50. But when we are in a Ds mode, it is a vicious circle for me as the submissive. I am the aggressive one, She the gate-keeper and teaser, forcing me to enjoy her enjoying my being forced to enjoy her enjoying my being forced to...etc. It can go on for hours, sometimes interrupted by us doing other things, like going to a movie, grocery shopping together, or having friends over. My aggressiveness definitely turns into attentiveness. My biggest fear is that she will let it go to a "to be continued" status over a period of days--which has happened on occasion. It is so hard (no pun intended) to be sincerely attentive after a few days of waiting for O.

 

[__little_one]

hmm, tricky

What I tend to initiate is affection, and lots of it- kisses, cuddles, hand-holding, stroking arms and the like. I don't see that as inititiating sex because that's not why I do it, although I guess it sometimes gives a guy ideas!

I see myself as passive 'in bed' because I hate taking charge and making the decisions, but that doesn't mean I make like a statue.

 

[missginger2177]

I answered the poll 50/50. But I'm not a case of "sometimes passive, sometimes aggressive." I will ALWAYS initate things (foreplay, cuddling, and down and dirty sex) in my vanilla relationship. I've jumped the boyfriend in the middle of something important just because I wanted some. Here's the 50/50 part. Once I get things started I don't want to control the course or speed. I'll rev up the motor and then let someone else drive. Sure I'll enjoy the ride and maybe drop an occasional directional hint, but for the most part I'm a passive participant.

D/s sex is different. I have trouble initiating things, but once they are moving I'm an all out fighter. It's really the same answer just with flipped timing.

P.S. Cookies please? And did she show em yet?