Subbmissive or Dominant?

[Louise Brown]

I've always that that was interesting. A lot of people are more dominant in their every day lives, and then totally submissive in their sex lives. That is more common than some people realize.

Two of the subs I have played with were both very dominant in their work. One was the owner of her own company and was an equal with male executives in a boardroom setting for years.

Just goes to show a way to keep the mind and soul balanced, perhaps?

 

[Xelebes]

That's gotta be the most honest answer I've heard from you in a bit.

I wasn't going for honesty here. I was merely expressing the truth.

 

[DVS]

Just goes to show a way to keep the mind and soul balanced, perhaps?

Think that's something someone's born with, or is it something subconsiously developed over time, like a thirst or hunger to satisfy a balanced soul?

Kind of like a feeling inside that you have a desire to fulfill? And some might understand and seek out their craving, where some might only know it as a desire, but can't mentally connect with it well enough to know what it is.

Then, some will be lucky enough to have someone come along and "introduce" them to what they've been searching for all along, some will read about it somewhere and say "that's me" and some might continue searching, their mysterious hunger never understood.

Sorry, I seem to be in a philosophical frame of mind, today.

 

[FurryFury]

Think that's something someone's born with, or is it something subconsiously developed over time, like a thirst or hunger to satisfy a balanced soul?

Kind of like a feeling inside that you have a desire to fulfill? And some might understand and seek out their craving, where some might only know it as a desire, but can't mentally connect with it well enough to know what it is.

Then, some will be lucky enough to have someone come along and "introduce" them to what they've been searching for all along, some will read about it somewhere and say "that's me" and some might continue searching, their mysterious hunger never understood.

Sorry, I seem to be in a philosophical frame of mind, today.

Is it nature or nurture that makes us this way? That is a good question. I can point to things I did and felt from an very early age, as, from another thread I can tell others can also do. Still that doesn't prove anything. Most of our base characteristics are supposed to be set by the time we are three. Therefore it is always hard to answer the nature vrs nurture question. I tend to think some of both.

For a long time I had cravings I didn't understand or connect with clearly. Too damn long. So I was your second paragraph for a very long time, sadly.

I never had anyone come along and "introduce" me into anything. Only because I am always studying and trying new things, particularly things on the fringes, did I find this and connect it but there is much I am still unsure of. I've undergone huge mental shifts within and changed more this year than I would have believed possible or likely. It's wonderful, scary and begs the question, how much more can I learn and change, where will it all lead to?

Don't be sorry. I love philosophical bents.

Fury

 

[Iron_Horseman]

sub or Dom??

I am Dominant, although there are times I have been intrigued by submissiveness. I submissive I had a relationship with once said it was a fine line between dominance and submission. Then she laughing said she could be Dom, but it was entirely too much work.

 

[Divine Deception]

Dominant. Despite how I may seem quite submissive in everyday life, we all have our masks.

I have been in past relationships – with men of a dominant nature. Needless to say it just didn’t work. I’m too stubborn, I don’t like being told what to do, and I have never been a lover of being under others control. I prefer to be the one telling them what to do.

Just something about being the one who holds reign on everything sends a toe curling, pleasing, sensation down my spine.

At the moment I don’t have any boy toys, or girl toys. Yet, I never know what’s going to hit me in the future.

 

[rozezwild]

I am a petite super omega submissive lass. I like it best when Master forces me to put on these stupid boots and hurt all the boys.

*snicker*

Holy shit i spit Pop all over my screen that was a very creative answer and I loved it

Me myself and the thorns?? Switch through and through Love to be Dominant but given the right person i can be very submissive too

 

[Red Sonja]

To most, I come across as quite dominant in daily life. I own my own practice as a professional. I've been successful in a number of arenas.

However, to the person I love, I am submissive. I would and will do whatever he asks. However you should understand, we've been together for almost 14 years on the 21st of this month.

I trust him completely to act in my best and his best interests. He is master not only of me, but of himeself. Therefore I can safely make the no limits statement above.

I really enjoy putting off the workday world and becoming completely his. It is such a relaxing, safe, and comforting thing to do. I truly treasure this relationship and know that I am blessed.

 

[shy slave]

I've always that that was interesting. A lot of people are more dominant in their every day llives, and then totally submissive in their sex lives. That is more common than some people realize.

Two of the subs I have played with were both very dominant in their work. One was the owner of her own company and was an equal with male executives in a boardroom setting for years. But, some subs are very submissive in everything they do. And, they wouldn't have it any other way.

And, on the other side, dominants are very much the same way. There is no set partern someone can go by to know if someone is sexually one way or the other, just by the way they are in their everyday life. The sexual mind works in mysterious ways.

I would agree with you to some extent on this DVS.

I was the more dominant person in vanilla relationships and had a dominant job, recently (in the last two years) all that is changing.
Not sure exactly how, but i am aware that mentally I am different. Not submissve in day-to-day life, more apathetic.
If I go further down that line I may be asking Net, Luna and Shadowsdream for hints and tips LOL

I have known lots of vanilla men who are dominant both day-to-day and sexually.
I have actually never met (in R/L) a very dominant man who was sexually submissive.

 

[LadyAria]

I've always that that was interesting. A lot of people are more dominant in their every day llives, and then totally submissive in their sex lives. That is more common than some people realize.

Two of the subs I have played with were both very dominant in their work. One was the owner of her own company and was an equal with male executives in a boardroom setting for years. But, some subs are very submissive in everything they do. And, they wouldn't have it any other way.

And, on the other side, dominants are very much the same way. There is no set partern someone can go by to know if someone is sexually one way or the other, just by the way they are in their everyday life. The sexual mind works in mysterious ways.

I am dominant all the time. I tried to be a submissive for three years. It doesn't suit my nature. So, for the past five years, I've been a happy Domme. I think it is something that needs to suit your personality both sexually and otherwise.

 

[shy slave]

I am Dominant, although there are times I have been intrigued by submissiveness. I submissive I had a relationship with once said it was a fine line between dominance and submission. Then she laughing said she could be Dom, but it was entirely too much work.

I would agree with her.

It looks like far too much work and hassle when all I have to do is ummmm welllll errr..... lay there!

 

[nusubgurl]

Which one are you? What do you like most about being either of the two and do you have a master or slave yet? Are you a switch?

In my vanilla life, i can be a ball-busting, bad-assed very dominant bitch all the way to the most loving nurturing caretaker and protector of the fragile, wounded and innocent.

In my REAL life i'm a cock-sucking submissive slut.

Like others have mentioned, when i am in my submissiveness, i love the freedom from a relentlessly active mind.

i don't have a Master, but i do satisfy my cravings by participating in events in the lifestyle community in my area. Keeps me in balance and outta trouble.

i don't feel at all comfortable with the idea of controlling a man in an intimate relationship...but i do have a serious interest in some styles of play that could be perceived as Domme-like...so i hope i can meet a Man who would like for me to serve Him in that way...Shankara, dammit, this is all your fault you know...if you hadn't given me the idea of sticking fun toys up a Man's cock...

So i could switch if i was instructed to do so...

 

[DVS]

I would agree with her.

It looks like far too much work and hassle when all I have to do is ummmm welllll errr..... lay there!

sorry, but if you were my sub, you wouldn't just errr....lay there. I'd keep you busy. Submitting to some Doms isn't a free ride. Some of us make you work for your climax. Now get on your knees and get busy.

 

[DVS]

...Shankara, dammit, this is all your fault you know...if you hadn't given me the idea of sticking fun toys up a Man's cock...

So i could switch if i was instructed to do so...

Just one word...

OUCH!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Which one are you? What do you like most about being either of the two and do you have a master or slave yet? Are you a switch?

I am an old, balding, fat, ugly, pierced, tattoed, evil, wicked, perverted, sick, twisted, sadistic bastard, owner of janey. What I like best about it is owning my girl and pretty much doing whatever the hell I want and telling her what to do, as that seems to make her smile and laugh and feel treasured and needed. Go figure! *grin*

Switch? No. But I will bottom for a scene from time to time as part of my own growth and education, to learn a new technique or to gain understanding about certain things. So far I have yet to get much pleasure from the bottoming, just knowledge. And I can't for the life of me figure out why masochists enjoy the sorts of things that I like doing to them because when it gets done to me it HURTS! WTF is up with that? *grin*

But I'm glad those masochists are out there, they give me plenty of victi.. uhhh.... errr... volunteers, yeah, volunteers! to play with..

 

[HawkEye38]

Switch, thought I would grow out of it eventually and pick one or the other. oh well

 

[gypsy4191]

i switch, it depends who i'm with, though i do rather like being tied up and fucked senseless, and being ordered what to do and how to do it... oh gosh ive gotten myself rather hot and flustered..

 

[LadyAria]

Switch, thought I would grow out of it eventually and pick one or the other. oh well

As long as your having fun...no need to chose

 

[FurryFury]

As long as your having fun...no need to chose

I agree and oh, seriously HOT av there LadyAria! Bravo!

Fury

 

[LadyAria]

I agree and oh, seriously HOT av there LadyAria! Bravo!

Fury

Thank you...back at you

 

[jadefirefly]

Very much on the sub side of the fence, despite being an annoying, pushy bitch in just about all other respects.

I've tried being more dominant and I just plain am not that creative!

 

[insatiable_pet]

I am submissive to my Master, but any other dom who tries to boss me around had better beware. I follow any and all of his instrustions, but I have no qualms with being sassy to anyone else.

That said, my natural state is submissive. I have to be provoked into being dominant and overly assertive. I'm quiet and shy when I first meet people, but I have a strong personality which comes out once I know if they are trustworthy. I'm not much of a leader... I'd rather be the girl the leader depends on for their info and strategy.

 

[HawkEye38]

As long as your having fun...no need to chose

Ahh, that is the point isn't it?

 

[LadyAria]

Ahh, that is the point isn't it?

Always

 

[Jay Davis]

I have actually never met (in R/L) a very dominant man who was sexually submissive.

No, you've just never met a very dominant man who would admit to you that he was sexually submissive. I promise you, you've met many seemingly dominant men who either are or wish they could be submissive in the bedroom.

In fact, the clientele of the literally hundreds of professional Dominatrixes in my city (New York) is made up largely of just such men--men who want to submit, but for whatever reason can't admit it to anyone they know, including their own spouses.