Subbmissive or Dominant?

[Kajira Callista]

No, you've just never met a very dominant man who would admit to you that he was sexually submissive. I promise you, you've met many seemingly dominant men who either are or wish they could be submissive in the bedroom.

In fact, the clientele of the literally hundreds of professional Dominatrixes in my city (New York) is made up largely of just such men--men who want to submit, but for whatever reason can't admit it to anyone they know, including their own spouses.

and where have you been? not even a postcard either. *sigh*

 

[navarre]

For the umpteenth time....

Het Male Dom

 

[Kajira Callista]

For the umpteenth time....

Het Male Dom

are you sure?


































*Runs away*

 

[DVS]

I would agree with you to some extent on this DVS.

I was the more dominant person in vanilla relationships and had a dominant job, recently (in the last two years) all that is changing.
Not sure exactly how, but i am aware that mentally I am different. Not submissve in day-to-day life, more apathetic.
If I go further down that line I may be asking Net, Luna and Shadowsdream for hints and tips LOL

I have known lots of vanilla men who are dominant both day-to-day and sexually.
I have actually never met (in R/L) a very dominant man who was sexually submissive.

I'm not getting notified that someone has posted to threads I'm registered to. Bad cookie...bad cookie!

You'd be suprised how many so called dominant vanilla men there are who are closet submissives. Many big execs are submissive in their sexual lives. I'm not going to say ALL of them, but I'd guess a good share of them are, if they will admit it.

And, it doesn't have to have anything to do with someone's job, it's just the type of personality the person has. Police are under a lot of stress in their job, and I'm sure a fair share of them trade that into dominance in the bedroom.

Of course, there are men who are dominant in both their vanilla and sexual lives, and there are women who are submissive in both their vanilla and sexual lives, too. Haven't you ever just sat back somewhere, like a mall, watched poeple and wondered about them? OK, maybe it's just me that does that.

But, there are men who seem submissive in their every day activities and when it comes to sex, theiy're dominant. Didn't your mother ever tell you to watch out for those quiet guys?

 

[DVS]

No, you've just never met a very dominant man who would admit to you that he was sexually submissive. I promise you, you've met many seemingly dominant men who either are or wish they could be submissive in the bedroom.

In fact, the clientele of the literally hundreds of professional Dominatrixes in my city (New York) is made up largely of just such men--men who want to submit, but for whatever reason can't admit it to anyone they know, including their own spouses.

I just saw this, and I agree.

A lot of the men who visit pros are influential types, CEOs, upper crust, highly visible types that can't even admit it to themselves, even if their wives would understand.
I wonder about Donald Trump. He's got an ego...that hair will tell you that. But, I wonder how he is after a long day of bing the big shot. It's hard to tell with many of these people. It's not visible on their personality, like with some people. In fact, if it were, I wonder if they would be in the jobs they are.

 

[Etoile]

I'm not getting notified that someone has posted to threads I'm registered to. Bad cookie...bad cookie!

Me too. I did get a message a few hours ago that Manu was breaking things again, so maybe it'll be fixed now.

 

[Etoile]

That's odd...why does my age show up here as 23 even though it's correctly entered on my profile and should therefore read 24?

 

[DVS]

That's odd...why does my age show up here as 23 even though it's correctly entered on my profile and should therefore read 24?

That's similar to the other day when the time was off by one hour. I thought Lit hadn't changed their time, somewhere. I double checked it, to verify I was correct, then I started a thread, asking if others saw what I saw.

Trouble is, it got fixed or fixed itself just after I created the thread, so I looked like I was looney. Well...loonier (more looney?)?

As for the cookies, I changed something on my computer, thinking it was on my end. I'll wait a bit to see if I can change it back. I like to keep track of my cookies.

OK, Gracieanne, I didn't mean that kind of cookies, so you can stop counting yours. They should all be there. Well, at least I haven't taken any of them.

 

[DVS]

That's odd...why does my age show up here as 23 even though it's correctly entered on my profile and should therefore read 24?

Just found where I was suppose to look to see this. I'm a year younger, too. And, I found this thread...we're not alone.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=385354

 

[longbeachris]

Working on being a switch...

but for now I have to admit to being mostly submissive.

I love a curvy, busty domme tying me up with her rope and leading me @ by my hard cock.

 

[ravenhair]

I'm not sure what I am, definatelt sub but affraid to too with out some experience.

As foe dom men in real life and subs in bed:

I've found that after being in charge folks like to let go. Our society has made it so that being sub male is taboo for the upper eschelons. Most folks don't realize you can run a company and be very powerful but be submissive in bed. Of course most people don't have any idea what the domme sub dynamic is about.

 

[Bob_Aganoush]

I'm not sure what I am, definatelt sub but affraid to too with out some experience.

As foe dom men in real life and subs in bed:

I've found that after being in charge folks like to let go. Our society has made it so that being sub male is taboo for the upper eschelons. Most folks don't realize you can run a company and be very powerful but be submissive in bed. Of course most people don't have any idea what the domme sub dynamic is about.

Ravenhair - You've described my situation very well. I have a demanding job where I have to be assertive, but sexually I am very submissive to my dominant wife. I love nothing more than to worship her and be forced to serve her sexually.

 

[Jay Davis]

Ravenhair - You've described my situation very well. I have a demanding job where I have to be assertive, but sexually I am very submissive to my dominant wife. I love nothing more than to worship her and be forced to serve her sexually.

My point exactly. Thanks, Bob.

and where have you been? not even a postcard either. *sigh*

At just about the same time, a couple months ago--yes it was only a couple months ago that I disappeared--my real life got very busy AND I had a very unpleasant experience on a completely different kink message board. (Not even another literotica board--a completely separate site.) So, between having no time and having no emotional energy, I didn't manage to log in here for a while, even to check for PMs. Turned out I really needed the downtime, actually.

My life tends to run like that--periods of intense activity and commitments, alternating with periods in which I have the leisure and the energy to participate in forums like this. So, if I seem scarce a few weeks or months from now, don't sweat it too much--I'll be back after a few weeks off.

But thanks for caring enough to berate me, Kajira--that really does make me feel like I was missed, at least a bit, by at least a few folks.

 

[s'lara]

Always interesting to see the added qualifiers to declarative D/s statements. Usually, the "sign off" threads tend to be most interesting because the admission of submissiveness generally puts forth additional explanation of the why and with whom. i notice the Dominant sign off's were either flippant (for those who have endured a number of these threads) or short and concise. Odd.

i am a masochistic submissive.

 

[Jay Davis]

...the admission of submissiveness generally puts forth additional explanation of the why and with whom. i notice the Dominant sign off's were either flippant (for those who have endured a number of these threads) or short and concise. Odd.

I have to wonder if the longer, more heavily-qualified answers from subs mean that submission is more complex than domination, or are they just explanations and justifications of submission because our society at large usually assumes a person who is sexually submissive or masochistic must have no sense of self-esteem or self-worth?

For the record, I'm a chameleon-like submissive, whose kinks tend to mold themselves around those of my Domme. I become pretty maso when I'm with a sadist, but I don't miss the pain if I'm alone or with someone who isn't turned on by dishing it out. I get my charge out of being whatever my partner wants me to be (in the bedroom, at least), so I'm different in every relationship.

How's that for additional explanation, s'lara?

 

[s'lara]

Submission more complex than Dominance? Not necessarily. i tend to think the lack of explanation on the part of the Dominants is due to exercising the perogative to give the reader only what they want them to know. Or, the carpal tunnel has kicked in. Who knows.

On this board, i would think those of us who are submissive don't generally view other subs as having less worth. And, any Dom worth His/Her salt wouldn't make that assumption as well. As this is a BDSM Board and our typical poster(s) have an understanding of the culture, i don't see society peering through our windows waiting to jump in and brand us (subs) weak and worthless. But then again, you never know. We all know there are those who find submissives repugnant and that's fine. To each their own.

Also, i didn't see many subs justifying their self worth. Rather, i saw quite a few explaining why they were submissive and to whom.

Not too shabby of an explanation and done without justifying your worth. Which you shouldn't have to to my way of thinking.

I have to wonder if the longer, more heavily-qualified answers from subs mean that submission is more complex than domination, or are they just explanations and justifications of submission because our society at large usually assumes a person who is sexually submissive or masochistic must have no sense of self-esteem or self-worth?

For the record, I'm a chameleon-like submissive, whose kinks tend to mold themselves around those of my Domme. I become pretty maso when I'm with a sadist, but I don't miss the pain if I'm alone or with someone who isn't turned on by dishing it out. I get my charge out of being whatever my partner wants me to be (in the bedroom, at least), so I'm different in every relationship.

How's that for additional explanation, s'lara?

 

[Solitude]

Didn't your mother ever tell you to watch out for those quiet guys?

'Nuff said.

 

[LadyAria]

'Nuff said.

Why, do the quiet ones bite?

 

[Recidiva]

Why, do the quiet ones bite?

Have you met anybody who doesn't bite?

 

[LadyAria]

Have you met anybody who doesn't bite?

Only the disappointing ones...

 

[Solitude]

Why, do the quiet ones bite?

This one does. Can't speak for the others.

Whether or not that is disappointing is all a matter of perspective.

 

[JupitersGirl]

straight fem sub