Submissives, which is harder?

[redelicious]

The hardest thing for me would not be the pain or the bondage.
It would have to be the Blindfold. The Not Knowing what He will do next. I guess that's a form of mental bondage. It's the most incapacitating thing He can do to me.

That sense of anticipation can be frightening. I have only played with a blindfold once, but I remember it as being an exercise in trust. I had to have faith that he wasn't going to take me anywhere that I wasn't ready to go. Once I was able to "get there" I was able to relax and enjoy.

Ty Brightflower

 

[redelicious]

Before there were toys, there was rope. I can still remember the day as clear and bright as if it were yesterday. He ordered me to be waiting for Him, naked in bed and gave me a specific time limit. I was to have blindfolded myself with a scarf and to wait. The waiting I view as a form of bondage. The building anticipation... the waiting... the needs beginning to take over... and the anxiety of what He will do... It is all so new... Because I was blindfolded, I could hear Him enter... I could feel His weight on the bed as He sat next to me... I reached out to touch Him and He brushed my hand away... "No! Be still! No touching! And do not speak! Do you understand?" I nodded my head yes... and relaxed a little.

I heard the snap of His knife as He openned it and the rustle of a plastic bag. I heard Him cutting something, but still had no idea what He was really doing. I heard the flick of a lighter and smelt burning nylon. My imagination was peaked. Still I had no idea of what He was doing.

Suddenly, He pulled my arm above my head and I felt Him wrap something around my wrist and pull it tight against the head of the bed. He repeated this action with the other wrist and both ankles. I was naked... spread wide open and totally vulnerable... I was His to do with as He pleased... to do what He pleased to me... I could feel my heart racing in my chest... beating wildly with excitement and just a touch of fear... not that He would hurt me... but fear of where He would go from here...



We have had many conversations about that day and other days like that one... He loves ropes and I do too... He loves to take the time to make the bondage look pleasing... He likes to make the package look pretty... but He wants to make certain that there is a level of excitement for me as well... I on the other hand, want to please Him... I get so much out of His pleasure and excitement when He has created something with me that pleases Him greatly.

Cellis,

I just want to thank you for sharing your personal experiences with us. It must be a very special thing when the relationship is working on level that your does - and the power exchange is so obvious.

 

[redelicious]

My drop into subspace begins long before the first instrument touches my body, with His words, His voice. Mental Bondage is common--even for scenes in which I may be whipped with several implements.

I seldom feel the need to reach out and touch Him, because it's not ABOUT me. I am serving Him. He could just choose to leave me there, or tie me up. Fuck me, or not. Let me cum or not. Either way, it's not about ME.

I strive to serve, and make that service be about Him and not about me. He gifts me with a ride into subspace, and the hugs and caresses of aftercare. It's then that I can't take my hands off Him; I feel a need to reconnect to Him, and He indulges me the time to slowly come back down and reconnect with myself...Him...reality. Even that, I consider a service to Him, making myself whole and complete for His continued use.


~anelize

Like ID, I appreciate you sharing as well. I especially enjoyed reading how important aftercare is and I am so glad your Dom does this for you.

 

[redelicious]

I just want to thank everyone who responded to me. This thread took a slightly different direction then I thought it would, but I am glad. It's been interesting because I can see where I have been, where I am, and how much more I have to learn.

I may well never experience any of this again in r/l, but I still read and ponder how I fit into this world. Thank you for allowing me to contribute something these last few days.

 

[Arden]

Even pain, on it's own can serve a purpose and requires a certain mental strength. But I agree, there is a different sort of connection one reaches through bondage. Longer lasting? Stonger maybe? I don't know.

This is one of those intangible things I don't have enough experience with to speak about clearly.

As always, ty Arden.

Thank you for the thread, Red...

I feel that being blindfolded and bound heightens the total experience in a positive way. Every touch is magnified tenfold, and not knowing what comes next hastens the descent into that place where pleasure replaces pain. I don't experience any fear of what might happen next, but that may relate back to trust.

In my experience, bondage is more mental than physical -- even though it's my body that is physically restrained. I respond more rapidly to the mental aspects of D/s. But I also believe that our minds are all wired differently, so the experience may differ for others.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Now I am starting to think about how bondage might be more mentally taxing, and how it feels when bondage is combined with pain...but I am trying to stay focused.

So I will just ask, which is the more difficult activity for you?

I am a masochist, first and foremost. For me PAIN is what makes the experience pleasurable. Being bound is difficult for me..it always has been. It requires a DEEPER trust than i normally allow ANYONE. (this would include my OWNERS of the past) I guess then that being bound and all that goes with it is what makes me FEEL like the subbie/pet i yearn to be, making it the hardest part of what i offer of myself. (I hope that made sense...i am feeling rather nonsensical at the moment)

Pet

 

[redelicious]

Thank you for the thread, Red...

I feel that being blindfolded and bound heightens the total experience in a positive way. Every touch is magnified tenfold, and not knowing what comes next hastens the descent into that place where pleasure replaces pain. I don't experience any fear of what might happen next, but that may relate back to trust.

In my experience, bondage is more mental than physical -- even though it's my body that is physically restrained. I respond more rapidly to the mental aspects of D/s. But I also believe that our minds are all wired differently, so the experience may differ for others.

Know what Arden, every bit of this for me - every struggle, every success - it's all about trust. Trust is what makes the power so great and the connection so deep. Trust, or the lack thereof, is also what makes those things so rare and the act of submission frightening. Trust is what I crave, and yet it is my downfall because it is so hard for me to give.

Thank you again.

 

[redelicious]

Re: Re: Submissives, which is harder?

I am a masochist, first and foremost. For me PAIN is what makes the experience pleasurable. Being bound is difficult for me..it always has been. It requires a DEEPER trust than i normally allow ANYONE. (this would include my OWNERS of the past) I guess then that being bound and all that goes with it is what makes me FEEL like the subbie/pet i yearn to be, making it the hardest part of what i offer of myself. (I hope that made sense...i am feeling rather nonsensical at the moment)

Pet

I think I understood what you meant.

Thank you so much, Pet, for posting here.