Switching: Revisited

[niteshade]

I received a pm asking how I explored becoming a switch and how i came to the realization that it was the right thing for me.

I am going to post about this tomorrow, perhaps, but til then, thought a bump to the thread to allow other's who have switched/do switch to tell their tale would help this particular poster.

Thank you, Ma'am.

 

[Master Bill]

Originally posted by bunny517
Oh yes, A woman's touch is different but very very wonderful.Soft and warm yet can be very firm when needed. Serving a Mistress to me is one of the best things I have done in this lifestyle.I am so very lucky to be able to serve both a Master and a Mistress. I hope they both know just how much I do love serving them both!!!!!

well my sweet i know how happy you make me ...... and your Mistress and i do talk and your pleaseing her too ...... wish the 3 of us could get together more often .... we always enjoy our 3 way sessions as well as our down time too .. we have a good relationship ...

 

[Master Bill]

Originally posted by MissTaken
I received a pm asking how I explored becoming a switch and how i came to the realization that it was the right thing for me.

I am going to post about this tomorrow, perhaps, but til then, thought a bump to the thread to allow other's who have switched/do switch to tell their tale would help this particular poster.

ohhhhhh i cant wait to read this one

 

[Master Bill]

Originally posted by MissTaken
I received a pm asking how I explored becoming a switch and how i came to the realization that it was the right thing for me.

I am going to post about this tomorrow, perhaps, but til then, thought a bump to the thread to allow other's who have switched/do switch to tell their tale would help this particular poster.

ohhhhhh i cant wait to read this one

 

[wolf2002]

I received a pm asking how I explored becoming a switch and how i came to the realization that it was the right thing for me.

I am going to post about this tomorrow, perhaps, but til then, thought a bump to the thread to allow other's who have switched/do switch to tell their tale would help this particular poster.

When I first became active in BDSM I was pretty convinced I was a Dominant, since all my earlier experiences and fantasies tended in that direction.... Indeed, the role of Dom suited me very well...

Untill I met a Lady whom I immediately and unconditionally submitted to... it just came natural, without hesitation...

Nevertheless the Dominant urges have stayed, so I guess that makes me a switch... it all depends on whom I am dealing with... I submit when I have the feeling that the other is stronger than me, I Dominate when it's clear that I am in control... sometimes it is not clear, then it becomes a power struggle, each one fighting to get on top...

Right now I am very happy in the submissive role. The Dom in me is slumbering…

Hope this contribution is of any help...

 

[Never]

wolf:
"Never moon a werewolf"

Yet another bad pun I must resist.

 

[Ebonyfire]

When I first became active in BDSM I was pretty convinced I was a Dominant, since all my earlier experiences and fantasies tended in that direction.... Indeed, the role of Dom suited me very well...

Untill I met a Lady whom I immediately and unconditionally submitted to... it just came natural, without hesitation...

Nevertheless the Dominant urges have stayed, so I guess that makes me a switch... it all depends on whom I am dealing with... I submit when I have the feeling that the other is stronger than me, I Dominate when it's clear that I am in control... sometimes it is not clear, then it becomes a power struggle, each one fighting to get on top...

Right now I am very happy in the submissive role. The Dom in me is slumbering…

Hope this contribution is of any help...

Of course is it of help, everyone needs to know they are not alone in their thoughts. I bet there are others who can relate to your post.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[MissTaken]

I had one ltr where he almost exclusively topped. After about a year or so, he expressed an interest in me topping. It took some mental work on my part and a few tries, but I was able to do it, and I enjoyed it (and so did he). But for me my ability to top was more limited to the physical, I had a much harder time with mentally/emotionally topping him. I know he wanted more of that part, but it was a line that I was unable to cross at that time. Perhaps that will change in the future.

A good point.

It isn't difficult to top a Dominant as a part of D/s when you are doing it exclusively to serve and please. So, even if the physical activiities are that of a top, your mindset can be very much submissive.

To mentally and emotionally top someone, I need to feel the stronger of the two in the relationship and need to feel that the other is responding to me as a submissive. This isn't done by words or deeds, but by gestures, glances and reactions in certain situations.

It took some time to relax and enjoy the intoxicating feeling associated with Dom ming someone as opposed to "submissively topping " them, but once I found it, I truly enjoy it.

 

[Netzach]

I've had quite a few men want me to Top them; it's something I get approached about with surprising frequency. The problem I have with this is that I need to have an extreme amount of respect for a man to do this, and there are very few men I feel that way about. I would think that it would be easier to top a man if there is less respect, but I end up just feeling contemptuous and can't go through with it with any conviction. Has anyone else experienced this?

It's funny, you could switch the words top and bottom and it would apply to me. Maybe the guardedness has less to do with being a top or a bottom and more to do with a simple feeling of comfort and self-confidence in the given situation. I'm always more comfortable from the top, therefore I feel more invested and more vulnerable, in a counterintuitive kind of way.

 

[MissTaken]

Bumping this thread and will return later to post.

 

[Guest]

 

[Etoile]

This is a wonderful thread, as this is something that I've been struggling with lately.

My "pet" died about a month ago. Ever since, I have felt no urge to be the dominant partner, but instead have fantasies of being submissive. This is very confusing, especially due to the timing of the feelings (so soon after his death).

No revelations... just confusion. It's nice to have a place to vent.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, MistressHoney. Best wishes to you.

 

[MissTaken]

This is a wonderful thread, as this is something that I've been struggling with lately.

My "pet" died about a month ago. Ever since, I have felt no urge to be the dominant partner, but instead have fantasies of being submissive. This is very confusing, especially due to the timing of the feelings (so soon after his death).

No revelations... just confusion. It's nice to have a place to vent.

A Dominant posting here once said with regard to a break up and "loss of sub" that it is like a limb is missing.

Perhaps these feelings of submission are in part due to feeling fragile in your grief?

I don't know, but am sending you hugs.

 

[s'lara]

This is a wonderful thread, as this is something that I've been struggling with lately.

My "pet" died about a month ago. Ever since, I have felt no urge to be the dominant partner, but instead have fantasies of being submissive. This is very confusing, especially due to the timing of the feelings (so soon after his death).

No revelations... just confusion. It's nice to have a place to vent.

That's tough MH. Sympathies.

lara

 

[James G 5]

A Dominant posting here once said with regard to a break up and "loss of sub" that it is like a limb is missing.

Perhaps these feelings of submission are in part due to feeling fragile in your grief?

I don't know, but am sending you hugs.

I agree...often, feelings of grief and the fragility that can come with loss can leave us feeling vunerable and out of control
The idea of a figure who will take control and "make everything OK" is VERY appealing at such times
I would say it's less a submissive feeling than one of wanting to be held by almost a parent-like figure, but I can see where it might feel differently

In any case I am sorry for your loss

 

[Guest]

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[asyouwish2]

asyouwish2

 

[MissTaken]

I just reread this thread and noticed that a few who identified as female switches said they were more comfortable topping a woman than a man.

I can't imagine topping a woman.

If no one objects, I'd be interested in hearing a discussion on the differences between topping the different sexes.

Well, once again, I find I must eat my words.

I have been one who said she didn't feel she could top males, but have recently found it to be quite rewarding.

I almost must recant anything I may have said concerning being more comfortable topping women. I think, for me, the issue of gender has become very grey and comfort levels are determined by the dynamics of the relationship and the depth of the emotions.

My experiences topping men are highlighted by an impressive feeling of power, especially when that man submits. Finding a large and powerful man on his knees for you can be quite heady.

Then, for me, I have awkward moments as I am only now exploring the male anatomy with regard to BDSM. My vanilla thinking urges me to avoid contact or be too careful with the male nether parts. AFter all, as I am just beginning, it is easy to reflect on all the nilla males in my life circle and how so many protect the family jewels above all else! (I am learning, though, that they aren't terribly sensitive in the right setting and can bring hours of pleasure with the proper stimuli!)

Take care,
MissT (for whom the journey, once again, takes a twist)

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[MissTaken]

Update

Hmmmm

Well, I haven't really submitted in a scene since June or so.

All of my experiences have been on equal footing or with my Dominating my partner.

Do others find their interests in terms of switching go through cycles?

 

[PinkOrchid]

Re: Update

 

[MissTaken]

Somtimes, it feels like switches are considered second class citizens in the BDSM community.

 

[SweetCherry]

Somtimes, it feels like switches are considered second class citizens in the BDSM community.

Kinda similar as to how bisexuals are amongst some of the gay and lesbian community, maybe? There's been some threads on the GLTB dealing with how bisexuals are viewed. It seems to me, it's somehow the same kind of feelings. that *they* (in this case, I mean both switches and bisexuals) can't make up their minds, somehow.

Feel free to ignore my comments. It was just my observation.

*slinking back to her corner, suffering from severe sleep deprivation*