Switching: Revisited

[MissTaken]

Kinda similar as to how bisexuals are amongst some of the gay and lesbian community, maybe? There's been some threads on the GLTB dealing with how bisexuals are viewed. It seems to me, it's somehow the same kind of feelings. that *they* (in this case, I mean both switches and bisexuals) can't make up their minds, somehow.

Feel free to ignore my comments. It was just my observation.

*slinking back to her corner, suffering from severe sleep deprivation*

Yep.

That is it.

I believe we are all who we are and that there are some of us who enjoy and can "be" a bit of both.

Bi or switch.

Or Bi switch!

 

[SweetCherry]

Yep.

That is it.

I believe we are all who we are and that there are some of us who enjoy and can "be" a bit of both.

Bi or switch.

Or Bi switch!

"Bi and switchy"

Heh.



And here I thought I was either on drugs or even more dillusional from lack of sleep. Thank heavens I'm not. Well, not any more than normal.

 

[MissTaken]

Labels! Labels! Labels!

I am a sadist. I love to make him squirm and yelp, shout and feed into the energy he loses as he slips into his special heaspace.

I am a masochist. There are times when I want nothing more than to envelope myself in the sweet surrender of the pain/pleasure of his hands on my body.

Dominant? Oh yeah! There is nothing hotter than being behind that flogger and controlling our time together. Yep, I found hot!

Submissive? I dunno. It has been a long time since I surrendered without condition and don't know if it is something I have it in me to do after having found everything I have found on top.

Just a few random thoughts.

 

[bunny517]

Re: Labels! Labels! Labels!

Originally posted by MissTaken
I am a sadist. I love to make him squirm and yelp, shout and feed into the energy he loses as he slips into his special heaspace.

I am a masochist. There are times when I want nothing more than to envelope myself in the sweet surrender of the pain/pleasure of his hands on my body.

Dominant? Oh yeah! There is nothing hotter than being behind that flogger and controlling our time together. Yep, I found hot!

Submissive? I dunno. It has been a long time since I surrendered without condition and don't know if it is something I have it in me to do after having found everything I have found on top.

Just a few random thoughts.

seems like you have found what your looking for ....... i am glad you have found your happy place ......... Master Bill

 

[Etoile]

Nice thread for a bump, MissT! Though we could always have a thread "Switching: Revisited (Again)"

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Labels! Labels! Labels!

seems like you have found what your looking for ....... i am glad you have found your happy place ......... Master Bill

Thank you.

Sometimes it is confusing, but most times I feel like I am going where I should be going.

Sometimes I think that one of the reasons I had such difficulty trying to find the Dominant of my dreams was because I was looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place!

*shrugs*

 

[MissTaken]

Nice thread for a bump, MissT! Though we could always have a thread "Switching: Revisited (Again)"

It might start to sound like the Halloween Movies!




But then, as long as I have a mind , a heart and a libido, my sexuality will be a constant adventure full of excitement, hopes, disappointments and thoughts, IMHO.

Of course, I would rather be doing it than thinking about it!

 

[Anna Sue]

re labels

Because it comes up in this thread why is it so important that I can classify myself to one label.
This what really gets me?
For everybody who can, good for him or her. Is it because of a sort of comfort level?

Especially when you are in the beginning and exploring there are a lot feelings very confusing and I couldn’t and still cannot put a label on it.
That said I would like to top a woman but didn’t had a change yet.
Then I consider myself not as a dominant person, I know what I want for myself that’s for sure and I wouldn’t consider to submit to every Dom because he says he is one.
I think I didn’t answer really a question but then I still finding my self and I am not afraid to say it. So much to explore and so less time.


Anna Sue

 

[MissTaken]

Actually Anna, your post makes perfect sense.

We do get too caught up in the labels and you are correct. It is better to relax and enjoy.

I would rather not confine myself to the entree and would much rather take the whole damned buffet....usually!

 

[Anna Sue]

re,re, labels

Thank you Miss T.
Yes, to eat whole damned buffet....to say it in your words, would be good, but I know it is not always possible.







ups sorry for duple posting

 

[Anna Sue]

re,re, labels

Thank you Miss T.
Yes, to eat whole damned buffet....to say it in your words, would be good, but I know it is not always possible.

 

[Netzach]

I can totally relate to your words, Miss T.

I figure if I don't really find myself bottoming much more than annually, there's no point in advertising as "switch."

 

[Etoile]

It occurs to me that switching could be seen as kind of like bisexuality.

Just because a bisexual person is in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender, doesn't mean they're straight if they're still attracted to the same sex. (Works the opposite way too, of course.)

Just because a switch prefers to dominate most of the time, doesn't mean they're a top if they still enjoy subbing from time to time.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense here. Does anybody see where I'm going with this? (Not asking if anybody agrees, just if I'm making sense. We can get to the agrees part later. )

 

[MissTaken]

I think I understand Etoile.

One act, one word, one scene, one partner cannot nor should it identify who we are as a whole.

I hate corned beef.
I really hate sauerkraut.
But, I love Reuben Sandwiches.

 

[Etoile]

Yay, I'm glad that came across okay. I only just realized that SweetCherry said something similar a few months back!

 

[Texture]

My 2p

I haven't socialised with people into BDSM related things, so I haven't really had to summarise myself yet. Having any complex/multiple desires, not just top/bottom seems a bit difficult.

For me, my own fear and someone else's are similar rushes.

Rough sex can turn into a fight, and I have enjoyed taking it further and fighting girls with hard blows. If I want to lose, I have to let them win tho.

I like most aspects of dominating, 'raping' and humiliating girls, sometimes to an edge, sometimes not.

I am specific at the moment about what I have done to me - 'pure' pain and fear, blows lashes and cutting, not humiliation or torture.

I don't think I will find a role.

 

[SweetCherry]

Yay, I'm glad that came across okay. I only just realized that SweetCherry said something similar a few months back!

Hey! And here I figured nobody paid attention to the things I say! Damn, proved wrong again.

 

[Etoile]

Great minds

 

[M'lady&kitten]

I thought I would revive this thread. It seems to me that there are a lot of women who are "most of the time" submissive/bottom (for lack of a better words), who like to switch to Dom/Top and not as many women who are "most of the time" Dominant who like to switch to sub/bottom.

I have been wresteling with myself on this one for a while. I started my exploration of BDSM as a sub in an online relationship. Honestly as i look back on it I was more topping from bottom than anything. Now I am happily in a r/l relationship with my 24/7 subbie boy. I love being a Dom, however there are times when a girl just wants her nipples clamped, ass plugged, pussy fucked hard, and called nasty (oh so sweet) names I realize that is not everyone but it is me.

The part I am struggling with is wether this is a desire to be submissive or is it a just more of a masochistic desire? I hate lables as I feel kink is like fingerprints and earlobes...everyone's is unique. But that said they can come in handy when trying to explain to a willing partner. Does anyone else feel this way?

Lady

 

[Ranefox]

This post is in reference to many of the posts I have just read...

When I first began to dabble in the BDSM world, I found myself confused as to where I fit in...

I wrote a story, it's posted here, about an encounter with a girl I was dating and with whom shared the same interests. Many people were confused by this story due to their trying to figure out who was who re: D/s...

The name of the story is 'Slap of Leather' and it is a true account of the night's events...

Briefly, she and I were out at a dance club and I insisted on touching her neck with my cold beverage...She repeatedly told me not to do that. She warned that I may not like her response..

Well, of course, I was piqued by her reaction and did it again...

she grabbed my hand and half-dragged me to the women's restroom and we entered an empty stall.

She removed her leather belt and instructed me to 'flog' her with her own belt...

I think I suprised her by actually doing so...

I think I suprised myself as well. The feelings/thoughts that swarmed my brain and body...this was the first time I actually participated in something like this...

I felt a rush of power, you know what I mean...

I enjoyed what I did...I have excellent eye-hand coordination..., and at the same time, I was bewildered that somebody would actually enjoy this...

Before I got really involved with the BDSM community, I had moved to another town and didn't participate for a period of time.. I have a few freinds still in that same community in Seattle and I love being a part of it all...

I do agree with the comment re: similarities btwn 'switching' and 'bi-sexuality'. I do feel that only those comfortable in their own skins can appreciate the abilities of such...and, I don't like labes, either...they limit the scope of any experience...

Rane

 

[MissTaken]

I love being a Dom, however there are times when a girl just wants her nipples clamped, ass plugged, pussy fucked hard, and called nasty (oh so sweet) names I realize that is not everyone but it is me.

The part I am struggling with is wether this is a desire to be submissive or is it a just more of a masochistic desire?

Lady

Yes! I do understand.

Now, here is my thinking that helped me come to grips with this particular issue. Yes, I like to be spanked, be flogged (on occasion) and be involved in what otherwise appear to be submissive activities. However, for me , it is my maso tendencies that lend themselves to this need. I came to this conclusion when I realized that I am definitely not submitting when these things happen. I am spanked as much as I want, for as long as I want and as hard as I want. If my slut boy spanks too hard or ovesteps those boundaries, he is punished. So, for me , masochism and Dominance can definitely exist within the same person and within the same relationship.

Honestly, there are times when I do miss giving up control....not sure where that will lead and I am not going to worry about it. Sometimes, I think I have spent far too much time analyzing my psyche, my kinks and my D/s needs and tendencies.

Just live it and enjoy.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

After 4 years

of actively seeking to explore my *maso-submissive* side, I have decided that I am just not cut out for that. I tried it, repeatedly. It's not for me. Does that mean I am no longer switchy, no longer a possible submissive?

I still get off on pain. Is there such a thing as a masochistic Dominant? How the hell does one figure these things out? Is there such a thing? Does ANY of this make sense??

Color me confused, but I am guessing that apet4you just doesn't fit me any more...

pet

 

[Netzach]

I consider myself a Dominant who's open to the idea that someone may at some point really impress me and sweep me off my feet into a rapturous surrender.

Nader could win. Pigs COULD fly, if we built them planes.

I never believe in shutting myself off from any experience altogether, and I don't think anyone really wants to be in control of everything, we *need* as humans to be swept away in different ways.

The problem I run into is that so many people think they are going to be the one to do it and drop hints and get on my nerves. It's an instant disqualification.

That and I *have* to sweep people away, it's like food and water where the other's like winning the lotto....terrific if it happens, but I don't buy tickets much so the point's moot.

 

[MissTaken]

Yes, pet, yes to maso Doms!

Masochism is about physical sensation for me. Dominance is about mental control. So, of course, I can enjoy physical sensation while I am in control of that situation.

I like it that way.

Like our Netzach, I suppose there could come a time when I find myself deep in surrender, again. Part of me does miss that to a certain degree, but I am happier now than ever in my adult life.

So, maybe not.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Yes, pet, yes to maso Doms!

Masochism is about physical sensation for me. Dominance is about mental control. So, of course, I can enjoy physical sensation while I am in control of that situation.

I like it that way.

Like our Netzach, I suppose there could come a time when I find myself deep in surrender, again. Part of me does miss that to a certain degree, but I am happier now than ever in my adult life.

So, maybe not.

I have discovered that if I can control how I receive pain (not the amount or even for how long..just laying the rules before hand..keeping control as it were) that I feel much better about having the NEED for pain.

It's only been the last few years when I was trying to give up the control, that i realized I got NOTHING from it. I could never do the surrender thing. Believe you me, I tried. Recently, I have decided what's the point and gone back to what I know...taking care of my petlings and looking for a full time sexual partner for me.

Seems a shame almost. Like I wasted 4 years to learn something I should have always known. I can't do the submissive thing.

(needing a new name)
pet