Taboo. Open discussion, no attitude.

[graceanne]

and yet helpful when we want some girlie-time, isn't it? How thoughtful of them!

For my cousin's 18th birthday my aunt threw a party. Other than my uncle the only people there were girls. His brothers had things going, all of our husbands had things going . . . My cousin was really polite though. Sat and visited and everything. Then I noticed he'd disappeared. I asked 'where's CJ?'

My other cousin said 'well, he sat with us through talk about labor and childbirth. He sat with us when we talked about pms and mestral cramps. But he left when we started comparing how long the hair on our legs is'.

ROFLMAO

 

[skittles_lm]

For my cousin's 18th birthday my aunt threw a party. Other than my uncle the only people there were girls. His brothers had things going, all of our husbands had things going . . . My cousin was really polite though. Sat and visited and everything. Then I noticed he'd disappeared. I asked 'where's CJ?'

My other cousin said 'well, he sat with us through talk about labor and childbirth. He sat with us when we talked about pms and mestral cramps. But he left when we started comparing how long the hair on our legs is'.

ROFLMAO

what a brave soul!

Heck, i don't even really like talking about ragging, unless I just need to bitch about it.

 

[Puman]

LOL. you kill me!

For my cousin's 18th birthday my aunt threw a party. Other than my uncle the only people there were girls. His brothers had things going, all of our husbands had things going . . . My cousin was really polite though. Sat and visited and everything. Then I noticed he'd disappeared. I asked 'where's CJ?'

My other cousin said 'well, he sat with us through talk about labor and childbirth. He sat with us when we talked about pms and mestral cramps. But he left when we started comparing how long the hair on our legs is'.

ROFLMAO

 

[sutherngent985]

and yet helpful when we want some girlie-time, isn't it? How thoughtful of them!

You know us guys are always willing to let you have girlie time LOL. Labor talk is ok with me but periods? I think i will pass.

Oh and seltzer works good as a stain remover too.

One time my oldest cut himself and got blood all over a new sweater. My ex soaked it in cold water with peroxide and you couldnt even tell there had been blood on it. This was an off-white sweater no less.

 

[RJMasters]

I find this an interesting thread in that we are asked to discuss what is considered taboo from those who practice taboo.

In essence we are being asked what is taboo even among the taboo.

Some things that pop out at me easily would be things like breaking a person's hard limits. It would seem by majority consenous of those who practice D/s or BDSM that purposefully breaking a person's limits would be considered taboo or forbidden.

Since the scope of tabooness is being limited to a community of those who practice various forms of taboo...one could easily believe that topping form the bottom is one of the worse taboos ever gauging the bitter adverse reaction most have to that sort of thing.

Pretenders, closeminded and the unaccepting judgmentalist all seem to also fall in that catagory of what a community like this deems as taboo.

Things which will get a mixture of reaction are things like beastiality, necrophilla, bodily mutilation. Here we begin to see the spectrum within the spectrum where some consider such things taboo and some don't. And then there are degrees of extremism such as branding tatto and seared might be consider to be milder forms of body muilation but is acceptable becasue it is not so extreme as say castration.

In a sense one could ask the question what are your hard limits? And by answering such a question, one would be able to identify those things which they believe to be taboo. At least that is how I see it.

For me there are certain things which I consider to be taboo, such as religious forms of BDSM play. For some this is as hawt as it gets and they love this type of play.

It totally cracks me up to see people going on about people who smoke and how that has become such a taboo.

What about using drugs and such during play? That hits a few people's hot buttons. Perhaps not taboo in the sense of depravity, but definately a taboo due to concern for safety in someone getting hurt. Truth is, some of the best wild sex I have had has had some alcholhol influence, specifically tequlia in that my wife seems to lose many of her inhibitions after about two.

so is something only considered taboo because of its depravity factor, or can it be considered taboo for other reasons as well?

there seems to be a lot of suggested meaning for what taboo actually means...

Taken from a glossary: A topic that a society doesn't want to discuss because it goes against their cultural and societal norms
youthink.worldbank.org/glossary.php

Another glossary: A strong social prohibition.
highered.mcgraw-hill.com/sites/0767420438/student_view0/chapter2/glossary.html

lol good ol wikipedia: A taboo is a strong social prohibition (or ban) relating to any area of human activity or social custom declared as sacred and forbidden; breaking of the taboo is usually considered objectionable or abhorrent by society


As I said above some of the things which this community has considered objectional and abhorent could be something like "topping from the bottom".

I find that to be ironic in an interesting, curious, and humorious way.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hmm, I don't class taboos and hard limits as the same thing. I guess you could include what you think of as taboo in your hard limits, though it seems more popular not to because people assume it would be understood anyway (personally we don't go on the understood theory...too vague and open to misunderstandings). Whereas I think of hard limits more as things you do not personally see yourself willing to or able to participate in for a variety of reasons....such as RJ's example of religious play which is one of F's hard limits due to his religious background...it is not taboo, just not acceptable as a form of play material. Drugs are also not going to happen with us as not only is it a safety issue, but it also is not something we are into in any realm or support...but it is not a taboo, just not our cup of tea. Once again, language sets out to create a question from a question.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

You know us guys are always willing to let you have girlie time LOL. Labor talk is ok with me but periods? I think i will pass.

Oh and seltzer works good as a stain remover too.

One time my oldest cut himself and got blood all over a new sweater. My ex soaked it in cold water with peroxide and you couldnt even tell there had been blood on it. This was an off-white sweater no less.

Just cold water works fine and elimnates the problem of colour loss for non-whites.

Catalina

 

[Chris_Xavier]

For my cousin's 18th birthday my aunt threw a party. Other than my uncle the only people there were girls. His brothers had things going, all of our husbands had things going . . . My cousin was really polite though. Sat and visited and everything. Then I noticed he'd disappeared. I asked 'where's CJ?'

My other cousin said 'well, he sat with us through talk about labor and childbirth. He sat with us when we talked about pms and mestral cramps. But he left when we started comparing how long the hair on our legs is'.

ROFLMAO

Aww jeez.. poor guy.

I remember when I was like 12 or 14 I was dragged to what turned out to be a hen party with my Mom. I had pretty much tuned them out and then all of a sudden I heard my Mom telling about some guy she was in bed with and apparently couldn't get it up (the guy was a drunk so that explains that part) - after she said "I blew and blew and nothing happened" everybody suddenly remembered that I was there - it got quiet and I decided it was time to go hunt for crickets in the cornfield.

I had forgotten about that until I read the above.

I think I need to call my therapist.

 

[Betticus]

Actually you shouldn't leave a small child around any dogs, whether large and agressive or not. A small dog can permentently scar a child's face as quickly as a large. Plus small children don't know how to treat animals, so a normally placid animal might bite in self defense.

Plus, and I haven't watched the video and won't, but I'm assuming the child was crying. Where were the childs parents when this child started crying? Behind the camera? I sincerely doubt this was an accident. It was child abuse.

It's not a video or graphic, just a news article. Text only and it doesn't go into any real detail.

 

[Betticus]

lol, it's a fight to get a bite of one in my house...especially since I live in the desert now and they run about $1.79 apiece. Ouch.

I'm not huge on getting tackled. I would hire people to rough-house with my kids if I needed to. Ugh.

Strangely enough, I love getting tackled by someone with an agenda though. hopefully one that involves forceful sex.

*rape fantasy, yum!*

Which desert do you live in?

 

[Betticus]

RJ hit on some good points.

As far as breaking someones hard limits I wouldn't or don't think of that as a taboo so much as just a good rule to follow. Let's say that the relationship holds value to you then when you consider breaking that limit you should also take into account.

 

[graceanne]

Aww jeez.. poor guy.

I remember when I was like 12 or 14 I was dragged to what turned out to be a hen party with my Mom. I had pretty much tuned them out and then all of a sudden I heard my Mom telling about some guy she was in bed with and apparently couldn't get it up (the guy was a drunk so that explains that part) - after she said "I blew and blew and nothing happened" everybody suddenly remembered that I was there - it got quiet and I decided it was time to go hunt for crickets in the cornfield.

I had forgotten about that until I read the above.

I think I need to call my therapist.

I was just shocked that he stuck it out that long, poor guy.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Okay.. so I'm bored today..

maybe she has sub drift..


Original article here

Clinton Co. woman charged with bigamy
By JOE LARSON
Lafayette Journal and Courier
July 12, 2007

FRANKFORT -- A Clinton County woman is charged with bigamy for failing to divorce her first two husbands before marrying a third.
April R. Carter, 22, of Frankfort started divorce proceedings for her marriages to Ryan Mendoza and Brian Clendenning, towns of residence unclear, but never completed them.
She then married Brandon Carter -- town of residence also unclear -- whom she says she is still with, according to the probable cause affidavit filed by the Clinton County prosecutor's office June 20.
A pre-trial conference is scheduled for Aug. 6.
April Carter told investigators she thought she successfully divorced her first two husbands. The affidavit gives the following timeline:
· The former April McQueen married Ryan Mendoza Feb. 11, 2002. She filed for divorce in Clinton County court Sept. 23, 2005. A copy of the paperwork was sent to Ryan Mendoza's last known address, but was returned Oct. 18, 2005, as undeliverable.
· She got married again Dec. 11, 2005, this time to Brian Clendenning. Nine months later, the couple initiated divorce proceedings in Tippecanoe County court, but no decree of dissolution was granted.
· She married yet again about six months later -- March 7, 2007 -- to Brandon Carter.
Bigamy can be a class D felony or a class A misdemeanor, according to John Meyers, Clinton County chief deputy prosecuting attorney. A judge will decide during the sentencing phase, Meyers said.
As a felony, bigamy carries a penalty of up to three years in prison and up to a $10,000 fine. As a misdemeanor, it is punishable by a up to one year in prison and a $5,000 fine.
Calls to a Frankfort listing for Brian Clendenning led to a message stating the number was disconnected. Calls to a Frankfort listing for Brandon Carter went unanswered.
A Frankfort attorney listed as representing April Carter did not immediately return calls.

 

[JMohegan]

so is something only considered taboo because of its depravity factor, or can it be considered taboo for other reasons as well?

That's a good question.

I see taboo behavior as something that makes the offending party a pariah. The kind of person you don't want in your neighborhood, your county, or even your state.

For example, where I live, marching for white supremacy in a Neo-Nazi or KKK rally would get someone instantly shunned by the prevailing social order. It wouldn't matter that he was simply exercising his Constitutionally-guaranteed right to free speech, or that the chance of his goals being achieved are extremely remote. Even though he wasn't breaking the law or presenting an imminent threat to society, he would still be deemed too repulsive for social contact.

Another characteristic of a taboo seems to be that the offending party's chance for social redemption is slight or non-existent. This holds true even if society itself has officially punished him for his crime. For example - guy gets convicted for molesting a 5-year-old girl, and I don't know too many people who would tolerate his presence even after he's done his time.

I find that to be ironic in an interesting, curious, and humorious way.

I agree that behaviors considered to be deeply objectionable by different groups are fascinating, and often ironic.

By definition, socially unacceptable behaviors are social constructs - which means they can only be identified by a group. The history, culture, needs, and natural proclivities of each group will dictate the focus of their outrage, and the resulting prioritization may not always make sense.

I have witnessed discussions in which (to borrow your phrase), "Pretenders, closeminded and the unaccepting judgmentalist" are all villified.... yet the transgressions of a woman speaking with delighted bravado about her penchant for extreme reckless driving were ignored or quickly dismissed. That prioritization of outrage is really fucked up, from my perspective.

You spoke about the "spectrum within the spectrum", RJ, and I think that's a useful way to view this topic. Culture and community determine quite a bit in shaping my personal perspective, but so does individual experience.

 

[RJMasters]

Hmm, I don't class taboos and hard limits as the same thing. I guess you could include what you think of as taboo in your hard limits, though it seems more popular not to because people assume it would be understood anyway (personally we don't go on the understood theory...too vague and open to misunderstandings). Whereas I think of hard limits more as things you do not personally see yourself willing to or able to participate in for a variety of reasons....such as RJ's example of religious play which is one of F's hard limits due to his religious background...it is not taboo, just not acceptable as a form of play material. Drugs are also not going to happen with us as not only is it a safety issue, but it also is not something we are into in any realm or support...but it is not a taboo, just not our cup of tea. Once again, language sets out to create a question from a question.

Catalina

I agree, in that a person's hard limits does not necessarily = taboo.

I do think however that when something by an entire community or group of people considers something to be wrong, bad, something that shouldn't be done....then it has some elements of taboo to that particular community.

In some ways taboos play a role in defining a culture through tradition based off of things they believe, accept and hold sacred.

I think what makes something taboo requires there be something that is held as sacred in general by a group of people, and the desecration of that which is sacred is what makes something taboo.

If I were to sit here and discuss from a vanilla perspective what I thought was taboo, I would start with spanking, homosexuality, being a slave....all of these things would be considered taboo because most mainstream would consider them as such. Obviously such things are not taboo in a community such as this and its laughable to even think along these lines. However, one thing which is held in revereance, respected and usually look upon in some manner of sacredness is the control that is given to a master or Dom/Domme by their submissive/slave. Because of this, topping from the bottom is quickly condemed because it encroaches upon something which many consider personally sacred.

I realize that it does not fall under the same areas as pediphilia or canabulism would.

When I spoke of hard limits, it ws with the idea that some hard limits are not just aversions to something...like scat play. I am pretty sure that scat is not something many hold to be sacred. What I was referring to was more along the lines of my example of religious play. For me, that is something I have attached some sacred thoughts and beliefs to, and even in my own depravity it is a limit in which I will not go, hence for me it is taboo.

I realize it may be a different perspective of looking at what is taboo, and I am just throwing it out for consideration. Individual taboos may or may not be considered taboo perse by an entire community. In a community like this, there are very few taboos which are held by a majority of the people in it as it is more of a spectrum. Non-consenting sex, i.e. real rape, not the play kind, would in my mind be considered taboo, because the majority of this community holds sacred the ideal of consent. In this matter consent is held as sacred, hence mocking consent, or behaviors which are deem to circumvent or out right desecrate consent ideals are met with a clear disdain and revulsion from most.

I have heard it said numerious times....keep sex dirty because of the edge and hotness that it carries with it. In order to do that, certain things must have or maintain a level of sacredness if dirty is to be preserved. Without light, what reference would we have to understand darkness? Without darkness what reference would we have to understand light. Hence contrast is often "one" way we draw our own perspectives.

Humilation is probably the outlet easiest for me in which to expereince lighter forms of taboo. When I talk of humiliation, I am talking about the kind where you make one feel real shame in their own eyes, not in the eyes of others. There is a high risk in doing this and it takes a special type of person who is willing to be scarred on a deeper level inside themselves. In this way, fantasy has great value in that many things are best left in the realm of fantasy. There is for many a hotness factor associated with desecrating something which is held sacred to them internally(read: one's right to choose, consent) that if expereinced in reality would most likely leave them broken like truly being ganged raped and left for dead. Forbidden fantasies, humilation, and taboos, in my way of thinking often walk hand in hand.

 

[RJMasters]

That's a good question.

I see taboo behavior as something that makes the offending party a pariah. The kind of person you don't want in your neighborhood, your county, or even your state.

For example, where I live, marching for white supremacy in a Neo-Nazi or KKK rally would get someone instantly shunned by the prevailing social order. It wouldn't matter that he was simply exercising his Constitutionally-guaranteed right to free speech, or that the chance of his goals being achieved are extremely remote. Even though he wasn't breaking the law or presenting an imminent threat to society, he would still be deemed too repulsive for social contact.

Another characteristic of a taboo seems to be that the offending party's chance for social redemption is slight or non-existent. This holds true even if society itself has officially punished him for his crime. For example - guy gets convicted for molesting a 5-year-old girl, and I don't know too many people who would tolerate his presence even after he's done his time.


I agree that behaviors considered to be deeply objectionable by different groups are fascinating, and often ironic.

By definition, socially unacceptable behaviors are social constructs - which means they can only be identified by a group. The history, culture, needs, and natural proclivities of each group will dictate the focus of their outrage, and the resulting prioritization may not always make sense.

I have witnessed discussions in which (to borrow your phrase), "Pretenders, closeminded and the unaccepting judgmentalist" are all villified.... yet the transgressions of a woman speaking with delighted bravado about her penchant for extreme reckless driving were ignored or quickly dismissed. That prioritization of outrage is really fucked up, from my perspective.

You spoke about the "spectrum within the spectrum", RJ, and I think that's a useful way to view this topic. Culture and community determine quite a bit in shaping my personal perspective, but so does individual experience.

Ageed 100%.

 

[LadyAria]

maybe she has sub drift..


Original article here

Clinton Co. woman charged with bigamy
By JOE LARSON
Lafayette Journal and Courier
July 12, 2007

FRANKFORT -- A Clinton County woman is charged with bigamy for failing to divorce her first two husbands before marrying a third.
April R. Carter, 22, of Frankfort started divorce proceedings for her marriages to Ryan Mendoza and Brian Clendenning, towns of residence unclear, but never completed them.
She then married Brandon Carter -- town of residence also unclear -- whom she says she is still with, according to the probable cause affidavit filed by the Clinton County prosecutor's office June 20.
A pre-trial conference is scheduled for Aug. 6.
April Carter told investigators she thought she successfully divorced her first two husbands. The affidavit gives the following timeline:
· The former April McQueen married Ryan Mendoza Feb. 11, 2002. She filed for divorce in Clinton County court Sept. 23, 2005. A copy of the paperwork was sent to Ryan Mendoza's last known address, but was returned Oct. 18, 2005, as undeliverable.
· She got married again Dec. 11, 2005, this time to Brian Clendenning. Nine months later, the couple initiated divorce proceedings in Tippecanoe County court, but no decree of dissolution was granted.
· She married yet again about six months later -- March 7, 2007 -- to Brandon Carter.
Bigamy can be a class D felony or a class A misdemeanor, according to John Meyers, Clinton County chief deputy prosecuting attorney. A judge will decide during the sentencing phase, Meyers said.
As a felony, bigamy carries a penalty of up to three years in prison and up to a $10,000 fine. As a misdemeanor, it is punishable by a up to one year in prison and a $5,000 fine.
Calls to a Frankfort listing for Brian Clendenning led to a message stating the number was disconnected. Calls to a Frankfort listing for Brandon Carter went unanswered.
A Frankfort attorney listed as representing April Carter did not immediately return calls.

I think she just has mental drift...marrying that quickly and not crossing the T's.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Yup... And as my pappy used to say, on the subject of it being a deterrent...
"It positively, absolutely, deters that asshole from ever doing anything like that again."

Want some fun...Look up the bill for just ONE death row inmate... Hell, look up the bill for just one convicted murderer who gets life in prison...
Want to feel a ripping walletechtomy??? Look up the bill for one inmate at a "Supermax"..
Even better...Look up the inmates from a "Supermax", and try to tell me honestly that any of those fuckers belong back in society..

my best friend is in a 'supermax' and i can HONESTLY tell you, that first of all, He is not a 'fucker' and he would be fine to be put back into society, and yes, he's in there for murder. well, conspiracy to commit murder, his girlfriend (she was his girlfriend at the time) is the one who got stuck with the murder charge. it's a long drawn out story and i'm not going to tell it all here, but i think there's a thread somewhere that i laid it all out in, i'm just too lazy to look it up.

basically the story goes, the girlfriend told my friend that her daughter was being molested by her ex husband, her ex husband was trying to get custody of the daughter, they made the decision to break into his house, rob him, and leave, that's not how it happened. my friend broke into the house with a crowbar, unlocked the door for her to come in, and he went out the back door handing her the crowbar on the way out. she used the crowbar to kill him. hitting him over 500 times in the head, chest, etc...

i guess my point is, that when we see these stories on the TV we forget that there may be 'reasons' behind things that people do, and that there are people who love and care about those who committed these crimes, and that not always are things the way they appear. we just see the 'crime' and say wow, 'kill the fucker' without knowing ANYTHING about the person behind the crime...i do feel sorry for the family of the one that was killed, i can't imagine their pain, but i also know the pain of the family and friends of the one who committed the crime. i still love him with all of my heart, and i still can't believe he even had a part in the murder because it is defiantly NOT who he is. *shrugs* i think my point has now been lost....so i'll shut up...lol

 

[LadyAria]

Taboo - not finding everyone attractive online?

In real life, you say someone is fugly, people look, nod and move on with the day. Online, you get rimmed a new one for stating you think something is unattractive from age, weight, haircut, breast size, cock size...everything is "beautiful in its own way" on here to the vast majority of the posters.

I have specific things I am attracted to. Everything else I am lukewarm or cold on the subject.

Am I alone in this? Am I really that shallow compared to most posters?

 

[Quint]

...........

 

[ecstaticsub]

Taboo - not finding everyone attractive online?

In real life, you say someone is fugly, people look, nod and move on with the day. Online, you get rimmed a new one for stating you think something is unattractive from age, weight, haircut, breast size, cock size...everything is "beautiful in its own way" on here to the vast majority of the posters.

I have specific things I am attracted to. Everything else I am lukewarm or cold on the subject.

Am I alone in this? Am I really that shallow compared to most posters?

You're not alone. Though I really believe that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". There are women and men who I don't find attractive at all but will post their pictures and get loads of positive comments. To each their own on-line and in real life.

 

[graceanne]

Taboo - not finding everyone attractive online?

In real life, you say someone is fugly, people look, nod and move on with the day. Online, you get rimmed a new one for stating you think something is unattractive from age, weight, haircut, breast size, cock size...everything is "beautiful in its own way" on here to the vast majority of the posters.

I have specific things I am attracted to. Everything else I am lukewarm or cold on the subject.

Am I alone in this? Am I really that shallow compared to most posters?

I don't find everyone attractive, but online and in r/l I don't tell people when I don't find them attractive. It's unnecessary, unkind and rude.

 

[catalina_francisco]

my best friend is in a 'supermax' and i can HONESTLY tell you, that first of all, He is not a 'fucker' and he would be fine to be put back into society, and yes, he's in there for murder. well, conspiracy to commit murder, his girlfriend (she was his girlfriend at the time) is the one who got stuck with the murder charge. it's a long drawn out story and i'm not going to tell it all here, but i think there's a thread somewhere that i laid it all out in, i'm just too lazy to look it up.

basically the story goes, the girlfriend told my friend that her daughter was being molested by her ex husband, her ex husband was trying to get custody of the daughter, they made the decision to break into his house, rob him, and leave, that's not how it happened. my friend broke into the house with a crowbar, unlocked the door for her to come in, and he went out the back door handing her the crowbar on the way out. she used the crowbar to kill him. hitting him over 500 times in the head, chest, etc...

i guess my point is, that when we see these stories on the TV we forget that there may be 'reasons' behind things that people do, and that there are people who love and care about those who committed these crimes, and that not always are things the way they appear. we just see the 'crime' and say wow, 'kill the fucker' without knowing ANYTHING about the person behind the crime...i do feel sorry for the family of the one that was killed, i can't imagine their pain, but i also know the pain of the family and friends of the one who committed the crime. i still love him with all of my heart, and i still can't believe he even had a part in the murder because it is defiantly NOT who he is. *shrugs* i think my point has now been lost....so i'll shut up...lol

While I empathise with you and think it difficult to remain objective when someone you know is involved, I don't think I can share your idea he was an innocent victim of circumstances. I thought I had read where you said before she had lured him there to kill him but he had lost his nerve (was this the murder victim who was wheelchair bound?)so she had done it, but even if my memory serves me wrong and he went there and broke in with the intention of robbing someone he did not know, it shows at the very least bad judgement and a weakness to be coerced by others to do something you should know is totally wrong no matter what other things were happening. That is why he is in prison because he made the decision it was OK to take the law into his own hands, and had been coerced by someone who was capable of such brutality...and thus could be just as open to being coerced again by a similar person. My thoughts are that as a adult you take responsibility for your decisions. There may be other factors involved, but for most situations an adult should be able to weigh those up and arrive at the decision it is not right to rob or murder someone simply because someone else said they molested their daughter. That being said, whenever I hear of somone receiving the death penalty, it is their family I feel sorriest for..***** sentences really don't count as being so devastating to me even though they still have a significant impact, simply because they are no longer anywhere near life in most western countries.

Catalina

 

[Life_Noir]

Taboo - not finding everyone attractive online?

Or worse...Not agreeing with with all their happy BS.. Patting 'em on the head and tellin em they're right....

 

[skittles_lm]

Or worse...Not agreeing with with all their happy BS.. Patting 'em on the head and tellin em they're right....

Heaven forbid you don't agree with everything I say! How could you not?


i hate people. Is that taboo to say?