Tales from the front lines

[Netzach]

I'm not surprised by the way you dealt with this situation, and I would have dealt with it the same.

When I started in this biz, it felt weird not being exactly myself with the clients. I felt like I was 'faking it' too much by not giving them the real me. But I was (rightly) advised to not give my real name to anyone in the biz, not tell where I live, not tell what or where I study, give a fake age, fake hometown, etc. Basically, any personal details that could have me 'outed' or get me a stalker.

But I've created this working persona, which is somewhat close to who I really am, but far enough from the truth. At first, I understood it only in terms of assuring my safety -- but four months into it now, I realize that this is also what is keeping me sane and not too invested in this. I also realize that the more I get to know a client, generally, the less I want to see him again. Basically, I don't want to develop a connection with them, mostly because when I do, they get on my nerves. Not very surprisingly, the type of client I meet are not exactly the type of people I would normally be friend with or have any kind of relationship with. I can easily get into fucking them, and from the feedback I'm getting so far, I'm doing pretty good at giving them a great time. But it's much more difficult for me to actually appreciate them as human beings. Not so much because they pay for sex: rather because of their politics (most tend to be super conservative, somewhat racist, slightly mysogynist, and slightly to very homophobic).

Which is kind of ironic, since all the talk about sex work is always about how it objectifies women. I realize that the easiest and best way for me to do my job and enjoy it is when I can objectify my clients - but I find it harder to objectify them in a good/fun way when I get to know them too much.

Weird because in a BDSM context, I don't have trouble objectifying a partner. But I think the difference is that I actually like the partners I play with and objectify in that context. So, maybe I can only objectify someone I don't know or someone I know and like.

Netz, anything insightful to say about this, from your experience as a pro-domme?

Um yeah. The Eliot Spitzer factor lives. No special insights on top of your own.

When they're personality assholes on top of being hypocrites, it's intolerable. When they're hypocrites with good personalities it's still annoying. Some aren't hypocrites in the Dom world, because we have the "not fucking" thing going - so sometimes the wife actually IS sending them with her blessing and is relieved not to be expected to handle this deal. I stayed around for those and considered them worth it.

 

[Netzach]

I cannot stand coke-heads. Especially not the ones that call escorts.

Besides, I thought this stuff was so 80s. Or is it making a come back, like leggings?

Happily, when I talk to them on the phone I benefit mainly from their talkativeness, if they're a bit uh, nutty. If they only just all called PSO's when they're nutty and want to spill for 8 hours we'd all be happier I think.

 

[BiBunny]

Happily, when I talk to them on the phone I benefit mainly from their talkativeness, if they're a bit uh, nutty. If they only just all called PSO's when they're nutty and want to spill for 8 hours we'd all be happier I think.

Oh, God. *Twitch*

"What's your name, baby?"

"K--."

"What? Huh?"

"I'm trying to tell you, my name is--."

"What?"

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, IF YOU'D SHUT UP FOR HALF A SECOND, I COULD GET MY FUCKING NAME OUT!!!!!!!!!!

I know they're good for my paycheck and all, but I just don't have the patience for cokeheads.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Oh, God. *Twitch*

"What's your name, baby?"

"K--."

"What? Huh?"

"I'm trying to tell you, my name is--."

"What?"

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, IF YOU'D SHUT UP FOR HALF A SECOND, I COULD GET MY FUCKING NAME OUT!!!!!!!!!!

I know they're good for my paycheck and all, but I just don't have the patience for cokeheads.

Hehe. Try fucking them.

I had one, he wouldn't frickin stop talking and fidgeting while fucking me. The only thought going through my mind was:

SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!

And yes, I was screaming in my head.

Why can't they just smoke weed instead?

 

[DeservingBitch]

Note to johns:

If we want to keep the illusion going between you and me, you need to get straigh on the money issue. Here are some tips to improve the quality of our time together:

I'm not a bank machine. I don't give back change. Either have the exact amount, or thanks for the tip. If you need that 10$ back that badly, you cannot afford the luxury that I am. The internet is full of free porn.

Do not fucking try to bargain my rates. I don't do discount, and I never come on sale. Either you can afford it or you can't, end of discussion. Again, internet is the great equalizer - lots and lots of free dirty stuff there.

I would like to remind you that you are paying for my time with you, and not for any particular sexual service. As such, no, I will most certainly NOT reimburse you a part of my rates if you can't manage to shoot. NOT my problem.

Yes, that hour at 250$ that you are paying for includes me taking at least 5 minutes at the end to shower and freshen up. Would you prefer that I arrive to our date with a smelly pussy? I didn't think so. No, I won't give you back 20$ for my shower time. Consider this the maintenance fee.

I don't offer an 'a la carte' menu. You get what the chef is serving or you go somewhere else. Putting more money on the table to get a special request dish will only annoy the chef, which we all know is never a good idea.

Forget what other girls are saying. Of course a tip will automatically put you on the good side of the YMMV.

Sincerely,
Your friendly Sex Provider

 

[DeservingBitch]

What is up with guys asking sex workers on dates? As in, off-the-clock, uncompensated dates?

Why do they assume I would be interested in going out on a free-date with them? Why do they think that I would have any interest in giving away for free what I can charge 250/hour for???

Do they also ask their maid to come over on their free time to clean their house? Or the chef at a restaurant to come over to cook for them for free?

 

[DeservingBitch]

So, I've been in the business for about 6 months now, which is the average amount of time that most girls stay in it according to the word on the street.

Which doesn't surprise me at this point. This job is draining. The sex part is easy. I'm actually often initiating the sex with a client just because it's easier to suck cock than to pretend I care. But pretending to care about strangers, flirting with people I have no interest in, faking someone I'm not, catering to people's needs, keeping my mouth shut when someone says something offensive or annoying, staying relatively polite when dudes ask me intrusive and/or stupid questions, etc. ... that's draining.

I think the arrival of the GF in my life is making it harder on me to do this job as well. Before her, I wasn't getting much sex outside of the job, and I think it made it easier for me to enjoy the sex with those guys. Now that the I have plenty of amazing and mind-blowing sex with the GF, the pro-sex feels much more 'fake' than it used to.

But I REALLY like the money I'm making. My life has been so much easier in the last six months from having a very good and regular income - I've had only a few anxiety episodes, and none related to money issues. So, to not give up on the money, but to avoid a burn-out from the job, I've reduced my evenings of work, as well as the number of clients I see per night. Hopefully, those changes will make it easier on me to stay in the biz without getting completely jadded.

 

[ownedsubgal]

So, I've been in the business for about 6 months now, which is the average amount of time that most girls stay in it according to the word on the street.

Which doesn't surprise me at this point. This job is draining. The sex part is easy. I'm actually often initiating the sex with a client just because it's easier to suck cock than to pretend I care. But pretending to care about strangers, flirting with people I have no interest in, faking someone I'm not, catering to people's needs, keeping my mouth shut when someone says something offensive or annoying, staying relatively polite when dudes ask me intrusive and/or stupid questions, etc. ... that's draining.

I think the arrival of the GF in my life is making it harder on me to do this job as well. Before her, I wasn't getting much sex outside of the job, and I think it made it easier for me to enjoy the sex with those guys. Now that the I have plenty of amazing and mind-blowing sex with the GF, the pro-sex feels much more 'fake' than it used to.

But I REALLY like the money I'm making. My life has been so much easier in the last six months from having a very good and regular income - I've had only a few anxiety episodes, and none related to money issues. So, to not give up on the money, but to avoid a burn-out from the job, I've reduced my evenings of work, as well as the number of clients I see per night. Hopefully, those changes will make it easier on me to stay in the biz without getting completely jadded.

whatever happened to this thread?? DB...how is your pared down schedule working out? it's true this is a very draining job...mentally and emotionally, even physically which has come as a surprise to me. i could not imagine doing this the way DB does...seeing multiple clients in a night, that would just be way too overwhelming.

one thing i try never to be is fake or false with my clients. i am giving them something a little different from the typical escort experience, with me they get to experience what it's like to be with a woman who is genuinely concerned about their pleasure and who is passionate about service. it's not everyone's cup of tea...the amount of subbie-ish vanilla guys out there is unbelievable...but i think it's something that the men who seek me out value.

about 15 minutes ago, i finished up a first date...1 hour. a jewish guy in his mid 40s who is actually exploring the D/s lifestyle. i don't know if i would consider him to be Dominant so much as anal and demanding, but who knows. to my surprise he got into the sex stuff right away...(usually a first-timer likes to take it really slow). he had the longest and straightest cock i have seen in many years...but i should have guessed, those tall, skinny lanky ones usually have the same build below the belt. i was expected it to really hurt when he used my pussy, gritting my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut (we were doggy so he couldn't see my face). but he didn't hurt my pussy at all surprisingly...and then he started knocking against my cervix, and i felt like i was going to puke. he flipped me over to my back, and something happened to me that i'd previously only heard about it in dirty sex stories...looking at my abdomen, i could actually trace the path of his cock as he thrusted in and out. he put his hand on my stomach while he was fucking me so he could feel it. it was the most disturbing thing...and the sensation of oncoming hurling was strong, but i tried to put it out of my mind. after a few minutes he pulled out and had me suck him again, then when he felt close to cumming he fucked me doggy again. within another 5 very stomach churning minutes, he came. said he enjoyed himself immensely and can't wait to return. all in all, he wasn't as bad as i thought, but i'll definitely make a note not to eat before his visits.

now my insides are recovering and i wish i could go to sleep, but chores await...

 

[DeservingBitch]

And I could not imagine doing what you do OSG But we've been there before, haven't we?

I've actually recently started a blog to chronicles my 'adventures' in the biz. All the cool kids are doing it apparently.

I didn't posted the link here because there's too much info I've shared here on myself that a devoted stalker could probably gather enough from my persona here and on my blog to out me. But for those interested, just send me a PM and I'll send you the link.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think it takes a special person to survive without burning out and/or becoming jaded, and for that it takes it to a level where though it is professional, it is also enjoyable and creative. I have met a few who fit this and do make it a successful career which spans several years, and they have my respect and admiration for managing it so well - it can't always be easy, and remaining professional in those less than perfect moments, a talent.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

I think it takes a special person to survive without burning out and/or becoming jaded, and for that it takes it to a level where though it is professional, it is also enjoyable and creative. I have met a few who fit this and do make it a successful career which spans several years, and they have my respect and admiration for managing it so well - it can't always be easy, and remaining professional in those less than perfect moments, a talent.

Catalina

You could say this about any career that deals with other people in intense situations. It's not ending world hunger, but sex work, disaster work, social work, restaurant work, these are all the super stressors.

Make sure you blow some cash on massage or something!

 

[DeservingBitch]

You could say this about any career that deals with other people in intense situations. It's not ending world hunger, but sex work, disaster work, social work, restaurant work, these are all the super stressors.

Make sure you blow some cash on massage or something!

What she said.

Oh, and I have recently discovered what the fuss was all about re: spas. After 10 intense days and nights of work, I had a day off and decided to treat myself to some pampering for a change. I had never been to a spa in my life, had never had a facial (not that kind perverts), never had a professional pedi&mani. OH MY FUCKING GOD does it feel good! I think I figured out why women don't pay for sex: it's because they much rather spend their money on some cute women pampering them at the spa. Well at least I do now.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

It's a shame DB doesn't post anymore.

This was a great thread.

Bump for anyone who hasn't seen this thread.

 

[MzChrista]

Too bad this thread died off because it was a good one. I thought I would bring it back and see if anyone has something to put in.

Here's my story I told back then.

Bwahahahaha! I knew I liked you. A girl after my own heart.

I started working as a pro Domme when I was in college. I was totally broke, working in the lousy cafeteria. My roommate says to me, come with me, you can make a couple hundred bucks a day. She worked at this Massage Parlor/Sauna place out in the boonies, It had a dungeon room set up with a bondage bench and St Andrews. Now I didnt know a damn thing about this stuff, but baby, Im a quick learner. And I dug what I was learning. Mostly it was routine stuff, flogging spanking. Toe suckers. Some golden showers. Middle aged businessmen types mostly. I recognized one professor from my school once, and one of our regulars was this dude who owned a chain of furniture stores and always appeared on TV in his commercials. I cracked up when he came on for years.

Then one of the regulars asked me if he could pay me to go with him to a party.

Holy shit.

Theres a scene? An actual bunch of people doing this for fun? I was in heaven. See, being a pro Domme is great if its just work, but if you start to realize that you dig it, then you have a problem, because as long as hes paying for it, hes in charge. So I met a few people and got involved with some groups, and an amazing Domme took me in as her apprentice. She had the best fucking playroom I ever saw. Her hubby was rich as hell and they lived in this huge house, I guess its fair to say a mansion. And the whoel top floor was playroom. She had it all, every implement you could name, suspension gear, a room made up like a doctors office, another one like a schoolroom.She was a pro and into the scene. So I learned a lot of skills from her and from her friends. And we had a higher class of clients. We even had a couple of women came to us. I worked with her for about a year, and then her and the hubs broke up and she headed out for Europe.

After that I kept on a few clients for a while on my own and still once in a while see a few of the old timers, but now they're like old friends. I dont charge them but they usually bring me a gift or buy me an expensive dinner or something.

So now it needs an update.

I did the whole good citizen go back to school get a real job routine and it worked out pretty good for a while. I was moving up the ranks at work pretty fast, doing a job I really liked.

And then, last year, boom. Downsized. Kthxbye.

Good thing for me, I had contacts and a skill set. So it's been back to the man smacking business for me.

 

[YourCaptor]

Too bad this thread died off because it was a good one. I thought I would bring it back and see if anyone has something to put in.

Here's my story I told back then.



So now it needs an update.

I did the whole good citizen go back to school get a real job routine and it worked out pretty good for a while. I was moving up the ranks at work pretty fast, doing a job I really liked.

And then, last year, boom. Downsized. Kthxbye.

Good thing for me, I had contacts and a skill set. So it's been back to the man smacking business for me.

I remember this thread.
Wonder what happened to DB.

Anyway, I feel like compared to threads like this from back in the day, lit is now dead.

Not sure what killed it more, fet, or 50 shades.

Anyway, that's terrible about getting cut. However it must be cathartic to beat the shit out of them business men.

 

[MzChrista]

I remember this thread.
Wonder what happened to DB.

Anyway, I feel like compared to threads like this from back in the day, lit is now dead.

Not sure what killed it more, fet, or 50 shades.

Anyway, that's terrible about getting cut. However it must be cathartic to beat the shit out of them business men.

DB was something else, huh?

One thing I have learned both in kink and in message boards is it ebbs and flows. Maybe I will stir some things up here. I have some topics I been thinking about.

Thanks for what you said about the job. I wish I could kick the shit out of my moron governor but I will work on some surrogates in his place. Jail would cramp my social life.

Actually, maybe it wouldn't but I still don't want to go.

 

[YourCaptor]

DB was something else, huh?

One thing I have learned both in kink and in message boards is it ebbs and flows. Maybe I will stir some things up here. I have some topics I been thinking about.

Thanks for what you said about the job. I wish I could kick the shit out of my moron governor but I will work on some surrogates in his place. Jail would cramp my social life.

Actually, maybe it wouldn't but I still don't want to go.

I just miss the way it use to be. Cool topics, lots of radically different perspectives, lots of mini discussions within discussions, etc. The only alternative I know is fet, and fet has the same stupid conversation in every single group. No progress ever. And if you make a bold statement, down comes the censor hammer.

Do you watch sherlock? If not I recommend you watch season 2 episode 1, A Scandal in Belgravia. Its kind of shitty from a bdsm perspective, and a feminist perspective. But its very entertaining and presents a cool concept, a pro dom keeping "evidence" of her activities with powerful people for the purpose of blackmail in case she needs protection from the law.

 

[MzChrista]

I just miss the way it use to be. Cool topics, lots of radically different perspectives, lots of mini discussions within discussions, etc. The only alternative I know is fet, and fet has the same stupid conversation in every single group. No progress ever. And if you make a bold statement, down comes the censor hammer.

Do you watch sherlock? If not I recommend you watch season 2 episode 1, A Scandal in Belgravia. Its kind of shitty from a bdsm perspective, and a feminist perspective. But its very entertaining and presents a cool concept, a pro dom keeping "evidence" of her activities with powerful people for the purpose of blackmail in case she needs protection from the law.

I have seen a couple of episodes but I didnt see that one. I'll hulu up.

I used to work at a sleeve dungeon in the back of a massage parlor. We had one client who was the owner of a bunch of local furniture stores and did his own TV commercials. That's as close as I ever got to anyone powerful. But man, did we laugh our asses off when he'd come on TV.

A friend of mine used to session with the head of the state police of Illinois. Hahaha.she said he was a big puss.

 

[YourCaptor]

I have seen a couple of episodes but I didnt see that one. I'll hulu up.

I used to work at a sleeve dungeon in the back of a massage parlor. We had one client who was the owner of a bunch of local furniture stores and did his own TV commercials. That's as close as I ever got to anyone powerful. But man, did we laugh our asses off when he'd come on TV.

A friend of mine used to session with the head of the state police of Illinois. Hahaha.she said he was a big puss.

Does she have pictu, I mean get out of jail free cards.

 

[BiBunny]

Bump...

...for two reasons.

1.) I miss DB and wish she would come back.

2.) I'm curious if anybody's done webcam work. I'm thinking about it, but I can't decide if it'd be worth it or not.

 

[midwestyankee]

Bump...

...for two reasons.

1.) I miss DB and wish she would come back.

2.) I'm curious if anybody's done webcam work. I'm thinking about it, but I can't decide if it'd be worth it or not.

1.) Ditto

2.) Of course not, but I've read that it can be pretty lucrative. As with anything in the solo-preneur world, having a platform from which you can drum up viewers and followers is an absolute essential. That, or be a known quantity from adult work (see Jameson, Jenna).

 

[Netzach]

Bump...

...for two reasons.

1.) I miss DB and wish she would come back.

2.) I'm curious if anybody's done webcam work. I'm thinking about it, but I can't decide if it'd be worth it or not.

1) That.

2) Can be, can be not. I'd say it's way better as an add-on to your extant phone clients for real pic you rather than converting totally new traffic, simply because there are so many freaking options out there and the guys coming through webcam seem to have some pretty !!!! expectations. For me, it has to be 3-4x my phone/audio hourly to justify the light self look hot fuck around with instant messenger factor.

I find more of mine want to be watched than to watch me - I think anyone who's not porn star or total girl next door will find this to be the case, and can angle it thus. If I were less lazy that is something I'd offer a lot more of and work harder.

We've talked and you know I'm all about niching the fuck out of the niche once it's niched and then replicating that different ways.

I do think it's worth it to have real pic you have a cam offering even if it's RARELY available, because it inspires that extra level of confidence from the "OMG HAS TO BE REALLY HER" brigade.

 

[BiBunny]

1.) Ditto

2.) Of course not, but I've read that it can be pretty lucrative. As with anything in the solo-preneur world, having a platform from which you can drum up viewers and followers is an absolute essential. That, or be a known quantity from adult work (see Jameson, Jenna).

Yeeeep. I keep wavering back and forth on it. Maybe I'll make up my mind one day.

1) That.

2) Can be, can be not. I'd say it's way better as an add-on to your extant phone clients for real pic you rather than converting totally new traffic, simply because there are so many freaking options out there and the guys coming through webcam seem to have some pretty !!!! expectations. For me, it has to be 3-4x my phone/audio hourly to justify the light self look hot fuck around with instant messenger factor.

I find more of mine want to be watched than to watch me - I think anyone who's not porn star or total girl next door will find this to be the case, and can angle it thus. If I were less lazy that is something I'd offer a lot more of and work harder.

We've talked and you know I'm all about niching the fuck out of the niche once it's niched and then replicating that different ways.

I do think it's worth it to have real pic you have a cam offering even if it's RARELY available, because it inspires that extra level of confidence from the "OMG HAS TO BE REALLY HER" brigade.

That all makes sense.

I have a cam. I'm just kinda sick of phone. Which I have been for a long time, I guess, but...ugh.

Ideally, I'd mostly (or just) sell pics and audios, but I'm a shit photographer and have no one around who can help me. And the audios...well, I have no excuse for not doing those. >.>

Phone's just...more of a pain in the ass than it's worth for me nowadays. It figures that cam would be even more so.

 

[simpletimes]

Old but very interesting thread.
We have been doing some research into the possibility of camming or phone. More research is needed but my little one is showing interest

 

[FantasyGir1]

Old but very interesting thread.
We have been doing some research into the possibility of camming or phone. More research is needed but my little one is showing interest

I am the little one of whom Daddy speaks. Any tips or ideas would be welcomed!