The Dom Lounge

[rosco rathbone]

rosco, you might want to check out Lancecastor's Glossary FYI thread for at least a working overview of these terms.

That wasn't much to go on , looking for more.

 

[WriterDom]

I think we need another football poll to redeem the honor of the guys. If rose is up to it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

ohhhhhh yes

See me smiling under that fancy hat?

I would really like to do it again, if anyone else wants to, that is.

 

[artful]

Re: ohhhhhh yes

See me smiling under that fancy hat?

I would really like to do it again, if anyone else wants to, that is.

Not Meeeeeee,...Im a wimp,...couldn't take the pain of losing again.

 

[Hot4Heels]

I aint a big fan of the pros but I could go for another.

 

[~Dream~]

WELL. Since my Master is a wimp ---NOT!!

Can I be in the pool instead with ya Rose? who's playin next?

 

[lovetoread]

Can we change it to ice skating yet?

Heh...only joking.

I'll do it too.

I will wing it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Well ladies, the more the merrier. I am glad to see your interested. And as long as WD and a few others will do it, we can have a pool.

Yippppeeeeee!

 

[~Dream~]

Whoo Hoo

LTR is in too!! well .. alright!! awesome!! I will tell ya that whenener the Patriots play , that my team , I will Always pick them .. I picked then to win the Super Bowl and they did,cause I KNEW they had "Spirit" ..
I have picked the last 7 Super bowl winners.. My ex used to use my uncanny ability to pick winNers of football games to win lots of$$$
I live Very close To Green Bay (only 100 miles away ) so I Do keep a watch on the Packers but am not a die-hard fan .. I loved My Raiders but when they got rid of their QB ,I AM NOT impressed..!!

 

[WriterDom]

Good Luck

Here we go again.

Carolina vs
Green Bay

Chicago vs
Buffalo

Cleveland vs
Pittsburgh

Dallas vs
St. Louis

Houston vs
Philadelphia

Miami vs
Kansas City

New Orleans vs
Detroit

NY Jets vs
Jacksonville

NY Giants vs
Arizona

Tampa Bay vs
Cincinnati

New England vs
San Diego

Tennessee vs
Oakland

Minnesota vs
Seattle

Denver vs
Baltimore

Tie breaker Denver vs Baltimore total points

 

[~Dream~]

well I dont know how you are doin this but here are Dream's pics

Carolina vs
Green Bay -my pick Packers

Chicago vs
Buffalo -my pick Bills

Cleveland vs
Pittsburgh -my pice Steelers

Dallas vs
St. Louis -MY PIC Rams

Houston vs
Philadelphia -my pic Eagles

Miami vs
Kansas City -my pic Chiefs

New Orleans vs -my pic Saints(Lions suck and I LIVE IN Michigan lol)
Detroit

NY Jets vs-I pick Jets(Is Vinny still QB?)
Jacksonville

NY Giants vs -Giants will do it for N.y.
Arizona

Tampa Bay vs -The Bucs I pick
Cincinnati

New England vs -hell yeah go Patriots
San Diego

Tennessee vs-I pic Titans
Oakland

Minnesota vs
Seattle -I pick SEAHAWKS I think Vikings lack spirit)

Denver vs -I hope Broncos by 7 not sure on this one(21-14)
Baltimore

 

[Mr. Bootie]

This is something I could get into

I think we need another football poll to redeem the honor of the guys. If rose is up to it.

However, my pics have not been that good lately.



kgboot
aka "Mr. Bootie"

 

[NemoAlia]

Hey rosco -- here's another link I just came across:

Top v. Dom/me

 

[artful]

WriterDom

I think we need another football poll to redeem the honor of the guys. If rose is up to it.

Oh the pain,...the agony,...I was fearful of this happening. You are about to be run over by the "Buxom Best", in the BDSM Forum. It might not be a bad ordeal, (seeing as you will be given the opportunity to feel those most pliant cushions of delight first hand).

Let me congratulate you on your courage,...if not your foresight. You are the "Dom" with the balls!

 

[Kissing your Tears]

Re: Good Luck

Carolina vs Green BAy
Green Bay

Chicago vs
Buffalo Chicago

Cleveland vs pittsburgh
Pittsburgh

Dallas vs
St. Louis St Louis

Houston vs
Philadelphia Philadelphia

Miami vs
Kansas City Miami

New Orleans vs New Orleans
Detroit

NY Jets vs Jacksonville
Jacksonville

NY Giants vs NY Giants
Arizona

Tampa Bay vs Tampa
Cincinnati

New England vs San Diego
San Diego

Tennessee vs Oakland
Oakland

Minnesota vs Minnesota
Seattle

Denver vs Denver
Baltimore

Tie breaker Denver vs Baltimore 36

 

[~Dream~]

lol@ my Master

"Would that happen to be 'Foot-Balls" baby???

 

[artful]

Re: lol@ my Master

"Would that happen to be 'Foot-Balls" baby???

WD may wish to describe the shape or nature of his balls,...I haven't seen them,...nor do I have any wish to see them,...but I can tell ya one thing for sure,...indeed,...they HAFTA be *BIG*!-LMAO

 

[A Desert Rose]

Good Luck to all......

Here are my picks:

Carolina vs
Green Bay *Green Bay

Chicago vs
Buffalo *Buffalo

Cleveland vs
Pittsburgh *Pittsburgh

Dallas vs
St. Louis *St.Louis

Houston vs
Philadelphia *Philadelphia

Miami vs
Kansas City *Miami

New Orleans vs
Detroit *New Orleans

NY Jets vs
Jacksonville *Jacksonville

NY Giants vs
Arizona *Giants

Tampa Bay vs
Cincinnati *TampaBay

New England vs
San Diego *NewEngland

Tennessee vs
Oakland *Oakland

Minnesota vs
Seattle *Seattle

Denver vs
Baltimore *Denver

Tie breaker Denver vs Baltimore 37 total points

Thank you again, WriterDom.

 

[~Dream~]

Writer Dom..

lol as Subs take over the pool .. lol...hmmm do i hear the sound of "FEAR?"

i'd like to say that for the final tie-breaker game it'll be a total of 35 points i believe

 

[lovetoread]

After some debate,since I know nothing about these teams,I am not joining in.

Good luck,ya'll.

 

[navarre]

I'm in

Carolina vs
Green Bay *Carolina

Chicago vs
Buffalo *Buffalo

Cleveland vs
Pittsburgh *Pittsburgh......go Steelers

Dallas vs
St. Louis *StLouis

Houston vs
Philadelphia *Philly

Miami vs
Kansas City *Miami

New Orleans vs
Detroit *New Orleans

NY Jets vs
Jacksonville *Jets

NY Giants vs
Arizona *Giants

Tampa Bay vs
Cincinnati *Tampa

New England vs
San Diego *New England

Tennessee vs
Oakland *Oakland

Minnesota vs
Seattle *Minnesota

Denver vs
Baltimore *baltimore

Tie breaker Denver vs Baltimore total points = 28

 

[WriterDom]

Carolina vsGreen Bay Green Bay

Chicago vs Buffalo Buffalo
Cleveland vs pittsburgh Pittsburgh


Dallas vs St. Louis St Louis

Houston vs Philadelphia Philadelphia

Miami vs Kansas City Miami

New Orleans vs Detroit New Orleans


NY Jets vs Jacksonville Jacksonville

NY Giants vs Arizona Arizona

Tampa Bay vs Cincinnati tampa

New England vs San Diego New England


Tennessee vs Oakland Oakland


Minnesota vs Seattle Minnesota


Denver vs Baltimore Denver


Tie breaker Denver vs Baltimore 33

 

[~Dream~]

yes!! it's football day!

of all damn days for the fricking LIONS to decide to play good -geez , at least so far anyways ...

 

[UCE]

Football, Schmootball! And down with the Stupid Bowl! Actually, I read a good book on football recently by Tim Green but that's neither here nor there.

I'm going to try to answer Rosco's question instead.

could one of the brothers please give a working definition of top as opposed to dom, as it is understood in this forum?

I can't answer this accurately, Rosco, because I'm new here too and I don't know how this forum, or even how any individual in this forum, makes a distinction between top and dom. There are a couple of perspectives on this that I've heard over the years, however.

One is that a top is only interested in doing sadistic things to his partner, the "bottom," and is not interested in their power relationship. Top and bottom are considered two equals in power terms, two horny people trying to get off, by giving pain, on the top's end, or recieving pain, on the bottom's end. There are a number of synonyms and slang terms that have been developed to describe tops and bottoms. The one I used to hear all the time when I hung out in places where those terms were used, is "pitcher" and "catcher." So then, conversely, people who want to control their partner as well as do sadistic sexual things to them, are labeled dominants, or doms for short, and their partners tend to be submissives, who want control taken from them.

Then there's another view that says that tops and bottoms do not exist because you cannot have a sadist-masochist interaction without some form of power being exchanged. By power being exchanged I mean, one or both people acknowledging in their head that the person doing the damage is, at least to some small extent, in control of the person on the recieving end of the damage. This viewpoint came originally from the minds of BDSM Scene observers who were doing sadomasochsim before there was much of a Scene, even an offline Scene, and whoo remember a time when these distinctions were not made: it was all S&M, all dominance and submission--they are all part of the same dynamic. Such a view purports that the assuption of a title such as "top" or "bottom" is a retreat from the realities of power or lack of it which some people in the Scene, while liking kinky or fetish activities, are ill-equipped emotionally to deal with.

There is some validity to this view, in my observations: the most "politically correct" people in the BDSM scene and the ones most worried about not being seen as fair or appropriate by larger groups, such as the gay or queer movements, have tended to self-identify as top or bottom. I want to say two things about these dual views, however. First of all, I have known of situations where the "masochist" was a real bossy person who ran the scene, telling the top what to do in far more specifically than anybody would dare to order a massuse around. "Hit me right HERE at a medium intensity with the flogger 50 times then switch to the quirt and hit me OVER HERE for ten hard ones." And the "top" obediently does what he's told. I don't understand how such a scene is percieved as sexual by these two individuals, as it appears so mechanical, but I have been assured that it is. There is not, as far as I can see, any control being taken away or given away in that sort of situation.

Then there's a second situation, where you see two people identified as "top and bottom" playing, and the bottom is giggling but tied up securely and if she talks too much she's gagged and the top is choosing how hard to hit her and with what and seeming to pay no attention to her input or feedback as the play goes on. To me, if you tied up and at another person's mercy and that person is freely choosing what to do to you and you cannot stop the action, you have a power-exchange going on, a dominant-and-submissive Scene, whether the two people involved want to acknowledge it or not. Someone is partially or entirely out of cotrol. Someone else is partially or entirely calling the shots. And both people are clearly getting off on that captor-captive, "I can force you to take this" sort of situation.

You see this is kind of a thorny issue, and the difference between dom and top seems to be situational and not clearly defined. But it gets even more confusing when you add in a commonplace used in social groups where people who don't really know each other well are casually playing together at a club or a party: the safeword. The idea of a safeword, which can be any word the two people who want to play agree on, is that if the submissive or the bottom speaks that word, the top or the dominant stops the scene immediately. Stops hitting, stops dribbling wax, stops doing whatever she is doing and lets the sub/bottom go away, untying them when necessary.

That's how a safeword is supposed to work, anyway, and at well-policed parties (yeah, these bdsm things are often organized to the point where there are people assigned to wander the party making sure everybody obeys the rules of that evening, one such rule being "heed the safeword.") or at clubs with enough and attentive staff, the safeword will work as its supposed to in theory. But a great many things can go wrong. I have a sweet wonderful friend who used to play a lot at NYC clubs before she met her master, and once, when she was being whipped viciously at such a club, she called her safeword and the whipper didn't stop, he just laughed and hit her harder. There was no clube employee around and even her girlfriend had wandered off, so she just had to take it, screaming and crying. When he finally stopped, she was an emotional wreck (she had believed in the magical power of the safeword, you see, which actually only works if the top is willing to abide by it) and the guy said some very callous and cruel things to her and then just left her alone. No comfort, no bringing her down from her emotional extreme.

This kind of shit happens a lot more than people are willing to admit. In most bdsm "social communities" there's this unspoken rule to protect the dominants and disbelieve the subs who complain against them. I've heard of numerous cases where the written rule is to report abuse to the group leaders but when a submissive did report such abuse she or he was not believed and, even worse, was ostracized as a liar and a troublemaker, from the group. Kind of like how rape accusations were for women a few decades ago, you know. So, as with rape even today, a great deal of bdsm abuse of this sort goes unreported because people become addicted to their social contexts and can't risk anything that may cuase them to be kicked out.

The problem of abuse becomes much more scarier and prevelant in private meetings in which only the dom and sub are present, particularly if the submissive believes in the magical power of the safeword and is relying on that, instead of really knowing this person well, to keep her safe with him.

There is one other difficult with safewords that a minority of people to whom power is very important have. A safeword, assuming you're with someone honorable who keeps his word, gives the submissive ultimate power over the scene. She or he decides, not the dom, when things are too much, when they will stop, when she's had enough. Some people agure that only the submissive is in her head and only she can know when something's too much, but others say, that may be so but what's to stop her from using real words and useful detailed COMMUNICATION as opposed to some silly nonsense word to express to the dominant what's going on with her. If a submissive uses real communciation instead of the safeword, the dominant can decide, particularly if he or she is experienced, whether the scene really needs to be stopped and for how long, based on what the sub describes is happening. This leaves the power still in the hands of the dominant, which is very important to power freaks. Some people are such powerfreaks (i confess to being one) that we will never play with people that insist on using safewords or (as in my case) insist that we use one. Giving ultimate power to the submissive in that manner ruins all of the fun for people like us and makes the scene totally uninteresting and asexual.

Still, a lot of times people new to bdsm will want a sub to use a safeword because they are unsure of what they're doing and not experienced enough to trust their instincts or their ability to convince their submissive to clearly communicate.

One other downside of safewords and then I'll end this: if a proud submissive or bottom, particularly an inexperienced one, is given a safeword, she'll do her best to avoid using it in order to "impress" the great dominant who agreed to play with her. I've seen unscrupulous doms use this pride and desire to look good on a naive submissive's part to push them much much farther than they were ready to go. The submissive leaves the scene a shaking emotional wreck (although she usually doesn't break down until she's alone). A more responsible individual will monitor the submissive's condition carefully whether or not they have a safeword, and, instead of using her pride to get his sadistic yayas out, will end the play when he can see she's near her limits or breaking point.

But to get back to the original point, the safeword, which gives the submissive ultimate veto power over what happens in the scene, confuses the power issue--which may already be confused in the two partners' heads--immensely.

Hope this helps,
Unda

Rosco gets a dirty pic!

 

[rosco rathbone]

Wow, I don't know if the football lounge can handle such an infusion of raw science. Thanks for the breakdown.

rr