The Men Who's Wives Have No Sex Drive Support Club

[Mtnmike]

I’m at that age when my body goes crazy during my fertile window. He’s older than me and can be counted on maybe once or twice a week.

I think it’s best if I have a boyfriend to feel fulfilled. Not just sexually, but affection, time and attention is just not something my husband gives.

Believe me, I understand. Good luck with your endeavor.

 

[Bbl87]

Really wow, my BP meds affected mine negatively, if I may, what are you on?

Lisinopril is what did it for me. Also on hydrochlorothiazide, which didn't affect me at all as far as libido. Lisinopril has been shown to increase libido for some people in some studies, tends to do it moreso in the older age brackets but even in mine (in my 30s) it has occurred. It's not super common. I'm just guessing that's what it was, because I can't think of any other thing that changed around that time.

 

[Bbl87]

I’m at that age when my body goes crazy during my fertile window. He’s older than me and can be counted on maybe once or twice a week.

I think it’s best if I have a boyfriend to feel fulfilled. Not just sexually, but affection, time and attention is just not something my husband gives.

I will say, the good thing for you as opposed to us fellows, you'll have your pick of the litter should it actually happen. There won't be a shortage of interest, I can guarantee that.

 

[PMarky2]

All you guys in this situation.....the ones that have tried literally everything....do any of you get your kicks elsewhere while remaining married?

Not really workable in my case because,

1. With no hall pass, if I got caught the wife would kill me.

Even if by some miracle the wife gave me a hall pass and I managed to come to a discrete arrangement with someone, if I got caught,

2. Either H.R. or the Ethics Committee would give me a hard time if it was someone outside the college; alternatively, H.R. would crucify me if it was a fellow member of staff. Don't even think about banging a student - it just ain't worth it. The best outcome there would be getting fired which means losing your pension, etc..

3. The 'Wokies' at work would love to find a way to push me out, but I am protected by seniority. They would fasten on something like this like flies on a dog turd.

By the way, from what I have seen of how the more woke members of staff behave, the sin is not so much having a 'a bit on the side' but getting caught. As usual, one rule for the group in power, and another for the rest.

 

[Mtnmike]

Lisinopril is what did it for me. Also on hydrochlorothiazide, which didn't affect me at all as far as libido. Lisinopril has been shown to increase libido for some people in some studies, tends to do it moreso in the older age brackets but even in mine (in my 30s) it has occurred. It's not super common. I'm just guessing that's what it was, because I can't think of any other thing that changed around that time.

Well dang, you're taking the same meds I am, guess I was one of the unlucky one's lol. To be perfectly honest, physically everything still work's fine, even at my age, after Dr tests he found my libido lose is mentally, kind of a short circuit between the big & little head, go figure Dr, been without so long, no stimulation lol.

 

[Bbl87]

Well dang, you're taking the same meds I am, guess I was one of the unlucky one's lol. To be perfectly honest, physically everything still work's fine, even at my age, after Dr tests he found my libido lose is mentally, kind of a short circuit between the big & little head, go figure Dr, been without so long, no stimulation lol.

Ya, honestly that would make sense. That honestly one of my concerns is that I'll start to lose mine just from the frustration, and I really don't want that.

I've honestly wondered if my wife has noticed I'm not pursuing her as much lately, since I've kind of been getting my kicks on here. I haven't tried to initiate in over a month, which is really odd for me. I THINK she's noticed, but who knows. Also had a vasectomy recently, so she might just assume it was from that.

 

[Mtnmike]

Ya, honestly that would make sense. That honestly one of my concerns is that I'll start to lose mine just from the frustration, and I really don't want that.

I've honestly wondered if my wife has noticed I'm not pursuing her as much lately, since I've kind of been getting my kicks on here. I haven't tried to initiate in over a month, which is really odd for me. I THINK she's noticed, but who knows. Also had a vasectomy recently, so she might just assume it was from that.

O Yea she's noticed & if anything like mine, she loving it & thanking God you're not pestering her but I don't know her like you, just what you've shared.

 

[Bbl87]

O Yea she's noticed & if anything like mine, she loving it & thanking God you're not pestering her but I don't know her like you, just what you've shared.

Could be, but she wasn't subtle about wanting it the other day. Honestly she was a little miffed she had to actually initiate. She was like, I was pretty obvious I wanted it (she was drinking wine, in a sexier nightgown w/ no bra, etc.). My response was, well, I don't assume anything anymore, for all I knew you were just getting comfortable to fall asleep on the couch like you usually do.

I'm interested to see if that was just a one time thing, or if she's actually back to trying to make our relationship better. She mentioned going to counseling for her anxiety, which I think is her biggest thing killing her libido and I've been suggesting she see someone for for years, so maybe.

I think she's noticed how much I've been on my phone lately too (mostly here), and I'm wondering if she's putting 2 and 2 together with me not pursuing her and being on my phone a ton? Might be giving her too much credit, though.

 

[April602]

I’m at that age when my body goes crazy during my fertile window. He’s older than me and can be counted on maybe once or twice a week.

I think it’s best if I have a boyfriend to feel fulfilled. Not just sexually, but affection, time and attention is just not something my husband gives.

I totally get it. I suppose I’m fortunate that my husband travels on business as it gives me lots of opportunities to meet men.
My husband knows I have cheated on him in the past but I have always denied it. He has no clue what happens when he is out of town. Just like I have no idea what he is up to either. So our relationship is don’t ask and don tell.

 

[Ingenue844]

I totally get it. I suppose I’m fortunate that my husband travels on business as it gives me lots of opportunities to meet men.
My husband knows I have cheated on him in the past but I have always denied it. He has no clue what happens when he is out of town. Just like I have no idea what he is up to either. So our relationship is don’t ask and don tell.

I may have to be discreet as well.

 

[Mtnmike]

Could be, but she wasn't subtle about wanting it the other day. Honestly she was a little miffed she had to actually initiate. She was like, I was pretty obvious I wanted it (she was drinking wine, in a sexier nightgown w/ no bra, etc.). My response was, well, I don't assume anything anymore, for all I knew you were just getting comfortable to fall asleep on the couch like you usually do.

I'm interested to see if that was just a one time thing, or if she's actually back to trying to make our relationship better. She mentioned going to counseling for her anxiety, which I think is her biggest thing killing her libido and I've been suggesting she see someone for for years, so maybe.

I think she's noticed how much I've been on my phone lately too (mostly here), and I'm wondering if she's putting 2 and 2 together with me not pursuing her and being on my phone a ton? Might be giving her too much credit, though.

You're not, she gets it, yea maybe she is starting to realize how she's been & wanting to change it. Least it sounds like she's willing to try, that's a good start, hope it work's out for y'all, best of luck.

 

[artgorden]

E

What kills me is I have more than one person who would, too. Screwed up as it is, I never imagined someone other than my wife would even be attracted to me in that way anymore. Kind of shows how much a dysfunctional sexual relationship can beat you down.

Ever consider letting a guy blow you

 

[Bbl87]

Ever consider letting a guy blow you

Not really. So far as I can tell from my experiences and preferences so far, I'm 100% straight.

 

[HampshireBoy]

To be perfectly honest, physically everything still work's fine, even at my age, after Dr tests he found my libido lose is mentally, kind of a short circuit between the big & little head, go figure Dr, been without so long, no stimulation lol.

A year or so after splitting from my first wife I had a problem sustaining an erection with women, which I thought was some sort of age thing. I had a couple of sessions talking to a friend of a friend who is a therapist and came to realise that it was a guilt thing, in my head I was cheating. Since then I have been fine.

 

[HampshireBoy]

We are just preparing to go on holiday and as usual there are "to do" lists to make sure that nothing is forgotten. I added a couple of items
"wife's name" give "my name" a BJ
"My name" ravish "wife's name"

I've just noticed both crossed out so I must have blinked and missed those.

 

[Bbl87]

We are just preparing to go on holiday and as usual there are "to do" lists to make sure that nothing is forgotten. I added a couple of items
"wife's name" give "my name" a BJ
"My name" ravish "wife's name"

I've just noticed both crossed out so I must have blinked and missed those.

That sounds all too familiar...

 

[Bisexguy70]

My wife and i kiss and hug but theres no sex at all. Shell give me a hand job but i have to initiate it. Just once id love for her to desire my cock as much as the guys ive played with desire it. To say” go take off your pants and let me stroke and suck your dick. Then scew me with your thick throbbing cock. I want to feel you inside me!!” A guy can dream i suppose.

 

[Bbl87]

My wife and i kiss and hug but theres no sex at all. Shell give me a hand job but i have to initiate it. Just once id love for her to desire my cock as much as the guys ive played with desire it. To say” go take off your pants and let me stroke and suck your dick. Then scew me with your thick throbbing cock. I want to feel you inside me!!” A guy can dream i suppose.

That desire is one of the things I miss the most. She'll give in sometimes if I initiate (whole 'nother discussion), but there's nothing like a woman letting you know she NEEDS you. I used to love getting those texts, haven't gotten one in quite some time now.

 

[EStaccato]

Just chiming in to the support group, because the loneliness is real, but also feeling unattractive. It really hits your self-esteem. and that moment when you’ve been promised sex, or at least mutual masturbation, and it just… doesn’t happen. Even when I prompt. My husband has a medical issue - seems to be fairly normal in these scenarios - but the mismatch is pretty extreme. I was always the freak, and he was just… so pretty. Where was I? Oh. So now I’m masturbating in the bathroom so many times a day, he thinks I have IBS. Decided to start writing erotica as therapy. (I told myself it was to make some side cash, but no, it’s therapy). Anyway, lonely groins unite in solidarity. My heart is with you all.

 

[Bisexguy70]

That desire is one of the things I miss the most. She'll give in sometimes if I initiate (whole 'nother discussion), but there's nothing like a woman letting you know she NEEDS you. I used to love getting those texts, haven't gotten one in quite some time now.

I agree 100%. I love getting sexts from my buddy that says. “ i want you cock right now. I just love sucking it”.
I cant help but be turned on by that. Man or woman saying it

 

[Bisexguy70]

Just chiming in to the support group, because the loneliness is real, but also feeling unattractive. It really hits your self-esteem. and that moment when you’ve been promised sex, or at least mutual masturbation, and it just… doesn’t happen. Even when I prompt. My husband has a medical issue - seems to be fairly normal in these scenarios - but the mismatch is pretty extreme. I was always the freak, and he was just… so pretty. Where was I? Oh. So now I’m masturbating in the bathroom so many times a day, he thinks I have IBS. Decided to start writing erotica as therapy. (I told myself it was to make some side cash, but no, it’s therapy). Anyway, lonely groins unite in solidarity. My heart is with you all.

Thank you so much for that. Yes erotica is my therapy too. This forum has helped. Im not proud im going outside my marriage to get sex but a guy has needs. Sometimes we overlook alot of woman too. Its real tough when the spouse has medical issues. They cant help the condition their in.

 

[Bbl87]

I agree 100%. I love getting sexts from my buddy that says. “ i want you cock right now. I just love sucking it”.
I cant help but be turned on by that. Man or woman saying it

Ya, for awhile there we'd send each other things like that I wouldn't say regularly but often enough. To the point we started using Signal to keep it out of our regular texts. Now it's just kind of fallen off to the point where even when I message her something, I can tell she doesn't even read it and just forgets about it (we both have read receipts on). That hurts more than anything, the fact that she knows I sent something but it's not important enough for her to even look at it before she forgets about it.

 

[EStaccato]

Thank you so much for that. Yes erotica is my therapy too. This forum has helped. Im not proud im going outside my marriage to get sex but a guy has needs. Sometimes we overlook alot of woman too. Its real tough when the spouse has medical issues. They cant help the condition their in.

There's an interesting note here... the assumption that a woman's sex drive can disappear just because, but a man's must certainly be medical. Just because that's my situation doesn't mean I should think of that as universal. (I'm coaching myself here, just thinking out loud). I'm wondering if a sex therapist would tell us to work on the cerebral part of attraction before we look at the physical. Because truly, I do wonder if he's still attracted to me. We have transcended romance on the partnership scale; we've been through some real shit as a team and fought back. I have no doubt I want him as my partner for life. But... can I please have romance, too? I'll get myself off. It'll be fine. Just... I miss kissing.

Note for you men: There are receptors in women's mouths that trigger oxytocin. If you want to connect with her, just fucking kiss her already!

 

[Bbl87]

Note for you men: There are receptors in women's mouths that trigger oxytocin. If you want to connect with her, just fucking kiss her already!

That's all fine and good... as long as she doesn't dislike kissing. Ask my how I know.

 

[EStaccato]

That's all fine and good... as long as she doesn't dislike kissing. Ask my how I know.

Oh. Well that just... sucks.