ChasBozwell30
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2014
- Posts
- 1,436
Loved the romantic build of this, very nice
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Loved the romantic build of this, very nice
I liked this, I thought the second half was a lot stronger. There was a nice build, I liked the characters. There was a good sense of sexual tension. It leaves you wanting more, wondering what happened next!In math, if you take something negative, and then multiply it by something negative, you get back something positive. In my story I used this principle by taking an unhealthy relation, and then combining it with an unnatural obsession. Did it make my story better? worse? about the same? Should this story ever have been written? Guess it's for readers to decide now!
Set in the only setting I found appropriate for Summer Lovin' contest (seriously, what's with the people who go to warm places when it's already warm outside?) - please welcome "Sister Got Cold Feet", by yours truly.
As always, feedback from authors is especially valued. As a novice I feel like I struggle with dialogs.
Here I wanted to write banter between characters like they are actual human beings - not some porn props. But at the same time I could slash the story length by quarter if I retained only a few lines per "chapter" and conveyed the rest via indirect speech.
Still, characters presented a few interesting points, and I felt like censoring them just because I don't like what they say would be a sign of weakness on my end. At least we all managed to avoid falling into recursion, so there's something.
Thank you, much appreciated!I liked this, I thought the second half was a lot stronger. There was a nice build, I liked the characters.
No one said that yet, so I guess I’ll do it: “Hello and welcome to the fun house! Feel yourself like home!” (Sorry if I misspoke that, I too am still too new to the forum)Hey all I just posted my first story on the site! I'm a writer in Chicago and just started submitting here as a fun little side hobby, and very curious to get feedback
Go for it! There is a lot of good, not-so-clean fun to be had here! Welcome, and keep bashing away at that keyboard!!Explorer's Club
A student gets to know his teacher on a summer trip to Maui.
Hey all I just posted my first story on the site! I'm a writer in Chicago and just started submitting here as a fun little side hobby, and very curious to get feedback.
I've got more ideas for Explorers Club and I'd like to see if others want to see more of it. So far reception has been good, so if you want to see more just drop a comment on the story and let me know. I've got a few other series ideas I'm working on, and might get another one in the summer contest if I can get it polished up in time.
Welcome TheFoxglove! I haven’t had much time for reading lately. Real world shit going on. But I’ll be sure to check it out when life relents a bit.Explorer's Club
A student gets to know his teacher on a summer trip to Maui.
Hey all I just posted my first story on the site! I'm a writer in Chicago and just started submitting here as a fun little side hobby, and very curious to get feedback.
Wait now! It's time to start my Winter Challenge!!!
lol it happens to the best of usWelcome TheFoxglove! I haven’t had much time for reading lately. Real world shit going on. But I’ll be sure to check it out when life relents a bit.
2600 words into my first ever Halloween story.Halloween up next - two ideas brewing & realization I need to get cracking on one of them. History has shown that if I wait…I don’t get them finished!
Fun story, well written, and I like the characters, i enjoyed the build, not to slow or fast. Would like to read moreExplorer's Club
A student gets to know his teacher on a summer trip to Maui.
Hey all I just posted my first story on the site! I'm a writer in Chicago and just started submitting here as a fun little side hobby, and very curious to get feedback.
I've got more ideas for Explorers Club and I'd like to see if others want to see more of it. So far reception has been good, so if you want to see more just drop a comment on the story and let me know. I've got a few other series ideas I'm working on, and might get another one in the summer contest if I can get it polished up in time.
Hiding under the covers and not peeking out for two days is the best cure!So it begins...
"The Last Good Knight in Arizona" goes live 8/31/2024.
Sadly, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier to deal with the prepublication anxiety. So I'll be spending the next twelve hours or so fighting down the urge to scrap it.
I've enjoyed the stories I've read so far. There's still a bunch to go. It feels like the turnout is better this year and that's always a good thing.
I think I have a moral obligation to continue my story with the same characters as in my “Summer lovin’” story, except they decided to go some place warm after disastrously chill summer vacation, and ended up in a place that is even worse.It's time to start my Winter Challenge!
Hiding under the covers and not peeking out for two days is the best cure!
Let your little bird fly, and hope the cats don't eat it!
Don't scrap it!!!So it begins...
"The Last Good Knight in Arizona" goes live 8/31/2024.
Sadly, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier to deal with the prepublication anxiety. So I'll be spending the next twelve hours or so fighting down the urge to scrap it.
I've enjoyed the stories I've read so far. There's still a bunch to go. It feels like the turnout is better this year and that's always a good thing.
Don't scrap it!!!
I have a 12K draft but it's going to put me fairly solidly into the fetish category so we will see how that goes. I didn't intend to write this story but it was within me and had to come out2600 words into my first ever Halloween story.