This New Girl Needs Advice!

[Sir_Winston54]

As long as I get to give her a good smack or a hundred on the bottom, it's all good.

A man after my own heart

 

[Sayyid]

Why, I never said I wasn't going to give her that many. I left that up to you fine folk to infer.

Me, I would just keep going until she's beet red. Screw counting. That's her job.

 

[FurryFury]

I've actually never read many stories involving switching ... maybe it's because I tend to go for the traditional maledom scenarios? Not sure.

I've heard from all quarters how annoying this can be but I've never really minded it myself. Of the umbrella term BDSM, I'm most interested in the SM part. As long as I get to give her a good smack on the bottom, it's all good.

I've read a lot of erotic, supposedly BDSM-y books as well as stories on Lit and other places. A lot of writers make most characters both bi and switchy but in my experience most people aren't.

In my personal best of all possible worlds, most would be, cause then we could all enjoy loving each other, theoretically.

When a writer uses these things too much it bothers me. I'm bi curious. I've switched some but that's because I firmly believe in reciprocity. I won't say my ego wasn't involved either.

My point is, when a writer makes all or most characters bi and switchy, when characters that are kinky turn out to be killers or abused as children, and when Tops do what they do because of their own anger it really pisses me off. These things show generally a laziness, not a hopeful world view and a fundamental lack of understanding about kink, IMO.

When people read stuff like that, they tend to buy into the fallacies. The OP here at least asked about something that she wasn't sure of. That's a good thing in my book.

 

[Sayyid]

I've read a lot of erotic, supposedly BDSM-y books as well as stories on Lit and other places. A lot of writers make most characters both bi and switchy but in my experience most people aren't.

In my personal best of all possible worlds, most would be, cause then we could all enjoy loving each other, theoretically.

When a writer uses these things too much it bothers me. I'm bi curious. I've switched some but that's because I firmly believe in reciprocity. I won't say my ego wasn't involved either.

My point is, when a writer makes all or most characters bi and switchy, when characters that are kinky turn out to be killers or abused as children, and when Tops do what they do because of their own anger it really pisses me off. These things show generally a laziness, not a hopeful world view and a fundamental lack of understanding about kink, IMO.

It may just be my tastes but I've never encountered this. But I don't think characters need much of a motivation to be into BDSM than simply finding enjoyment in dominating others and being dominated.

 

[Wyldfire]

Hello,

I'm 19, and ever since I can remember I've had some sort of a fascination with spankings and other BDSM related things. Spanking has never been apart of my life growing up, which could be a reason why it's been able to become a sexually pleasing thing for me. The problem is that since I'm only 19, I can't seem to find a boy brave enough to actually fulfill my fantasies for me. I want to be held down and spanked, but all they wanna do is kiss my neck! HELP me figure something out please!

Needing Release!

Baby girl, you've said a great mouthful here. Most importantly is that you're nineteen. Slow down and don't rush yourself into a lifestyle that may or may not be for you. Dip the toes with a Dom or Domme that'll go as slow as you need to. If they try to go faster than you're comfortable tell them to fuck off and find someone else. It's that kind of easy. If they do go farther than you're willing you make it a point to get thier real name and you have thier ass arrested. No means no, cut and dry.

Have fun being nineteen. Enjoy it while you can and be young for as long as you can.

 

[bruisedangel]

I have a feeling that I'm about to ask a stupid question. However, I'm getting desperate! How does one go about looking for a Dom? It's not like I can just go up to any random person. I'm just so damned frustrated with not being compatible (fulfilled) with anyone I've met, in a way that's more than just platonic. I've found a BSDM group in my general area, though. I haven't contacted it, yet. I'm not sure how to approach that, either. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.

 

[OldGuy1026]

Okay, calm down and remember to "double think," for security reasons come up with a fake name like we all have here. Many experenced BDSM people will tell you that there are lots of creeps out there waiting for young people to prey on. Take it slowly, do a personal posting with their group.

Most groups also have, and others here can help me, "a munchie," which is a private party on a very dead hour at a public bar. Usually a notorious gay bar, so Sunday Afternoons becomes filled with BDSM, Spankers, and Swingers. Dress normally, you may have to show the staff your ID to get a drink, make sure you see their staff idenity too.

Most important of all, lots of us have been there, you see the responses here, we've all been there and know the longing.

Hang in there......

 

[FurryFury]

It may just be my tastes but I've never encountered this. But I don't think characters need much of a motivation to be into BDSM than simply finding enjoyment in dominating others and being dominated.

If only most writers understood that.

BTW, I run the BDSM BOTM club in the cafe here.