Time Magazine Article

[BlueSugar]

I amsorry to say to BlueSugar that there have already been specials on HBO...or was it Showtime.

oh, I know that. Real sex and its sister/brother shows and specials have done a wonderful job of educating the masses... but this is Time magazine.

I know I do not speak for myself when I say, that everytime many people turn their heads they see bdsm in some way shape or form... or maybe we just want to see it ... bit, in movies, and in song, and in current pop culture ... that dom/me look is in. Even the grown up Mickey Mouse clubbers are doing it, imitating the styles these past months ... even though Madonna along with a handfull of others (and the more rock goth scene) have been playing with it for years.

I think many of us has seen The Matrix, the last one... and the club scene ... they could have gone studio 54 with that, they could have made that some miloko bar (clockwork orange) they could have used alot of things ... but no... there was posture collars and other gear all over it.

It is becoming more mainstream, they are becoming more ballsy with it.

I agree with you, it has been around, it has poked its nose out ... but not like this

---
as for the door to door religion salesmen, I tell them I got a hoover for christmas ... and then ask if they're here for the annual animal sacrifice, then tell them that it is right around back
Or... ask them if their supreme being wanted this to happen to his religion... that his followers were to become door to door religion salesmen...I ask them if that is written in their books.

 

[James G 5]

Read the article, and some of the associted articles too
I agree there was a generally negative tone, and the religious/political overtones were pandering to make them appear more "people next door"
I also found it interesting that in some of the assosciated articles they talk about "love" when they really mean sex, and present info about how more open sex can be good for you then procede to try & turn it in to paens to the sort of monogamy/monotony that stifles it
The article on porn was MUCH worse and considerably more negative than the BDSM article
All of the material was slanted to show "alternatives" but with such a presentation as to back up the same old mainstream BS

I do feel that any semi decent publicity is a help tho if it aids in making things less taboo & legally risky for the rest of us

 

[Alfresco]

religion and d/s

i went to a marriage once where the minister basicly said now she is your slave. i enjoy all of d &s and learn more as i go, but his words filled me with horror, having a sister abused in the name of your my wife, honour me. or i abuse u. mmmmmmmmmm my taste is much more exciting and no abuse mental m m m phyical well only enjoyed, copper wire brushs from australia where i live laugh mmmmmmmmm, pity i dodn't know you where visiting our sandy beachs i have one (beach that is) caio enjoy your chat one and all

 

[Etoile]

In addition, the chains, the hot wax, the boot-licking humiliation--they're all secondary for most BDSM practitioners. "Pain is a means to an end, but not the goal itself," says Federoff of the University of Ottawa. "People into this scene, all of them, will tell you that they want anesthetic when they go to the dentist as well as you do. What's different is what they use pain for." BDSM-ers like to use athletic analogies: marathoners endure the agony of the last miles so they can savor the accomplishment of finishing. SM, they say, is no different.

I disagree with this, but not on my own behalf. I have heard of true masochists who don't want anesthetic at the dentist - these are the true pain freaks. And yes, they are also practitioners of BDSM. I do like the statement that pain is a means to an end, but for some people it is the goal. (I am not one of them, though I do like to experience pain as a tool to a higher understanding. You know - training!)

 

[s'lara]

The article was interesting. i wondered at the choice of couple and locale, but that is hardly unexpected. When presenting uneasy (uneasy for some readers) subject matter, it seems the media deliberately picks a "could be me" person to illustrate how the subject itself is closer to the reader than they thought. An old trick and effective because the reader becomes curious thereby hooking them till the end of the story.

Sure the article was slightly negative ... the topic discussed is out of the norm, particularly the focus on the Master/slave relationship between "Doc" and "Surri." i found the article touched on a number of issues (consent, submission, dangerous Dom/me's, etc.) While it presented a religious couple as the model for its story, i think concentrating on Surri's near death at the hands of her former Master to be somewhat manipulative. *shrugs* This is mainstream media and the reality is that most BDSM images we see nowadays is always presented in a dark and dangerous or comedic way. There are a few exceptions but not many.

lara

 

[Krinaia]

I couldn't get the link to load... what was the issue? I might try to look it up, seems to have been interesting.

Not completely unrelated... but national geographical has done some interesting articles on human behavior - does anyone know if they've done any on bdsm?

 

[s'lara]

I couldn't get the link to load... what was the issue? I might try to look it up, seems to have been interesting.

Not completely unrelated... but national geographical has done some interesting articles on human behavior - does anyone know if they've done any on bdsm?

The article was about how BDSM is playing a larger role in our sexual society and it also profiled a M/s couple who seemed to have a strong religious background. i would post the article here, but it is quite long.

As for Nat. Geographic, i haven't read any or heard of them done. If you find some, please post a link ... that would make an interesting read.

lara

 

[niteshade]

<snip>though I do want to try the invitation to a Black Mass. ::grins, maliciously:: <snip>

Oh, the looks you get are priceless.

 

[LunarKitten]

But the couple that is picked seems a little too, "cliche".

Hmmm...Sorry you got that impression from the article. I, personally, loved it, even with the religious references - which I found easy enough to ignore. However, the couple in the article are wonderful people, and were portrayed pretty much how they really are. Yes, surri asks Doc for permission to do things, yes sometimes she is a total brat - but don't we all have times like that? Yes, she is really a slave, and not a "slave"...and yes, I also believe that submissives/slaves have the power in the relationship, because they control the safewords and they can walk away from the relationship at any time.

Time did do a "don't piss anyone off too badly" slant, but that was pretty much to be expected.

 

[MastrJ]

I think the fact TIME did an article like this is a clear sign as to how accepted and mainstream everything is. I rolled my eyes at the religious references as well, but they're to be expected. The article was pretty bland over all, and didn't do much more than scratch the surface. That's the best that really should be expected from TIME unless we're talking about some sort of Watergate-type scandal.

How did I feel about the article? Meh. It was ok. I wasn't over-joyed, but it was about as good as could be expected.

 

[Etoile]

Does anybody remember what week this was in the magazine? My in-laws just sent over a bunch of magazines they're done reading, and I'm wondering if it included this one. I want to see whatever pictures accompanied this article!

 

[Pure]

I thought the article not bad, for conveying a mainstream.

The choice of a Christian couple didn't make me roll my eyes at all.
That choice made it clear the "bdsm lifestyle" may be highly conventional. And that will tend to make its mainstream quite acceptable.

If you look at the path followed by mainstream gay orgs, and if you have the goal of acceptance and integration, then showing "we are respectable" "we love our kids" "we go to church" is the way to go.

Lastly the Christian choice highlights how much the characteristics of "Christian wife" and 24-7 "sub" are essentially the same. Dianne Vera, in her 'nine degrees of submission' noted the similarity of 'wife' and 'sub'.

8. Full-time live-in consensual slave
Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress'/Master's use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possesion. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male--**{my bolding}

So these arrangements, esp. when male headed, do not break new ground, just cuz some nipple clamps are in the bedroom sidetable drawer.

J.

---

PS I see no reason for paranoia, as enuciated by Catalina, no evidence that the article was drawn from the literotica forum or folks.

**© 1984, 1988 by Mistress Diane Vera as reprinted in
Pat Califia, ed. The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual (Boston: Lace / Alyson) pp. 69-71

 

[Pure]

Etoile, the online Time story was titled Jan 19, 2004, "Health"

 

[catalina_francisco]

PS I see no reason for paranoia, as enuciated by Catalina, no evidence that the article was drawn from the literotica forum or folks.

You know to a real paranoid person this would be the proof.

Francisco.

 

[NemoAlia]

Okay, so now I'm curious: Who was it (was it somebody from lit?) who wrote the letter-to-the-editor that was published this week in response? I mean the one from a Bay-area BDSM advocate who talked about a custody struggle that might have ended poorly because of BDSM... It was a neat letter -- certainly more heartening to read than the letter about published sex and violence degrading America's youth.

I forget where cymbidia lives, but I know it's Cali. Maybe her?

Or was it one of you?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Okay, so now I'm curious: Who was it (was it somebody from lit?) who wrote the letter-to-the-editor that was published this week in response? I mean the one from a Bay-area BDSM advocate who talked about a custody struggle that might have ended poorly because of BDSM... It was a neat letter -- certainly more heartening to read than the letter about published sex and violence degrading America's youth.

I forget where cymbidia lives, but I know it's Cali. Maybe her?

Or was it one of you?

Any chance of posting a copy or online link to the letter? Sounds interesting. As to who it could be if from Lit? Mmmmm, well have to admit some bells rang from the essence you gave of it's theme, but maybe it is someone far from Lit. Who knows.

Catalina

 

[NemoAlia]

From my own copy of this week's Time magazine, temporarily removed from my bathroom counter:

I appreciated the wonderful article "Bondage Unbound," on sadomasochistic sex. As a bondage-discipline-sadomasochism (BDSM) activist like those referred to in your story, I give TIME high praise for its unbiased presentation. I especially appreciated your reporting that people lose jobs and child custody for being involvedin BDSM. I had to affirm in a custody hearing in court that what I do in my bedroom behind closed doors does not affect my ability to be a good parent. I was fortunate that my battle took place in the Bay Area of California, but others are not so lucky. Articles such as yours may help keep other custody battles or job losses from occurring in the future. I thank you for that.

 

[Ms_Black]

Cause and Effect

One of my Munch members sent the Time link to our group and I read through it. I might have rolled my eyes at the emphasis on being Baptist, but having a comm. background I understood that it was done to give the people that "Everyday Joe" effect. I thought over all it did manage to show that lifestylers are normal people, but I do feel more emphasis should have been put on the fact that the man who left Surri in the cage is NOT the norm.

Reason? I am an insurance agent.

None of the people I work with or for know about my personal activites but I do work with local BDSM groups and individuals to help cover them. The other day I was contacted by a group who had lost their insurance because of the Time Article. It seems with the "now apparent" possibility of people being locked in cages and being burned/suffocated/killed etc. they cannot be insured.

It doesn't matter what figures I give them, as long as there are no solid actuarial statistics to prove the figures, the companies are going to stop insuring BDSM groups.

It goes to show how the smallest little thing can cause problems.

Although I support the "normalizing" of BDSM I think those acting should be very careful about what they say.

Ms. B

 

[catalina_francisco]

From my own copy of this week's Time magazine, temporarily removed from my bathroom counter:

Thanks


Catalina

 

[NemoAlia]

Re: Cause and Effect

It seems with the "now apparent" possibility of people being locked in cages and being burned/suffocated/killed etc. they cannot be insured.

Well dang -- somebody should write that in a letter to the editor!