Training a Sub (both male and female)

[the captians wench]

It was quite a few years ago, when I'm afraid my [lack of] spelling and punctuation skills actually were in desperate need of correction.

I am acquainted with a domly type who often corrects my spelling and grammar. It's very odd, but coming from him I find it a very appealing thing.

I don't remember asking your smart wisdom, Miss Beauty, itself; not to mention your need to lose some 100 lbs, being a health care worker as you said in your own biography

Oh smooth.

 

[NomadLady]

Posting a personal ad in your own biography is a little desperate for a Dom, don't ya think? Not to mention being disrepectful here won't win you any friends or subs...

I don't remember asking your smart wisdom, Miss Beauty, itself; not to mention your need to lose some 100 lbs, being a health care worker as you said in your own biography

Thank goodness ignorance is bliss and that you are so very happy. I am also glad that your being a Dom doesn't require you to be a REAL man since you have failed so pitifully in that endeavor.
As has been mentioned I suspect "TROLL" is the answer to your true identity and that you've probably only EVER had subs online and never in real life.
Thank goodness all the women who have subbed for you have 100% perfect bodies to match your 100% ass of an ego.

 

[lana316]

Thank goodness ignorance is bliss and that you are so very happy. I am also glad that your being a Dom doesn't require you to be a REAL man since you have failed so pitifully in that endeavor.
As has been mentioned I suspect "TROLL" is the answer to your true identity and that you've probably only EVER had subs online and never in real life.
Thank goodness all the women who have subbed for you have 100% perfect bodies to match your 100% ass of an ego.

You go girl! Kick his pompous ass to the curb! *regains composure* Ehm I meant... please be polite even to the trolls of the world. He obviously does not have enough brain matter to understand how to be polite.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thank goodness ignorance is bliss and that you are so very happy. I am also glad that your being a Dom doesn't require you to be a REAL man since you have failed so pitifully in that endeavor.
As has been mentioned I suspect "TROLL" is the answer to your true identity and that you've probably only EVER had subs online and never in real life.
Thank goodness all the women who have subbed for you have 100% perfect bodies to match your 100% ass of an ego.

At least-- virtually all those subs. Hur hur virtual, get it?

And I bet he's just as virtually perfect as they are.

 

[lana316]

At least-- virtually all those subs. Hur hur virtual, get it?

And I bet he's just as virtually perfect as they are.

you are very very punny and I am laughing a great deal (no sarcasm. I love puns)

 

[switchbitch]

While I can almost wrap my head around the concept of "inferior", the desire to invite a "worthless" person into one's life always confuses me. Why waste time on something that has no worth? No value?

hear,hearI so agree, while in some play some of these terms can be used to deliver a dark thrill, to actually believe someone is inferior and still want to play with them doesn't say much for personal taste.

 

[teknight]

hear,hearI so agree, while in some play some of these terms can be used to deliver a dark thrill, to actually believe someone is inferior and still want to play with them doesn't say much for personal taste.

Well, hold on.
Maybe k9 needs someone on his own level?

 

[tpeveman]

Man ,I have seen some people that are weak, but K9, you are in words a weak man. To truly control you must respect , to be the dominator you must Love. To me a true Dom loves, respects , and understands his sub better than she does herself. With that he can bring her to her most dippiest desires. She will not feel less ,but be reborn as a truly beautiful flower starching for the sun of a new DAY.
Now, I will not fight with you on here, and if you must know about me. I’m not the kind of a guy that takes to word threats. To the ladies, and gents that have been disrespected by K9 let me be the first to say he truly doesn’t speak for. or represent any men I know.

 

[teknight]

Man ,I have seen some people that are weak, but K9, you are in words a weak man. To truly control you must respect , to be the dominator you must Love. To me a true Dom loves, respects , and understands his sub better than she does herself. With that he can bring her to her most dippiest desires. She will not feel less ,but be reborn as a truly beautiful flower starching for the sun of a new DAY.
Now, I will not fight with you on here, and if you must know about me. I’m not the kind of a guy that takes to word threats. To the ladies, and gents that have been disrespected by K9 let me be the first to say he truly doesn’t speak for. or represent any men I know.

Well, duh. k9's a troll. It's basically admitted to as much in this very thread.
It gets its "power" from our replies and our mentioning it...

Although, I do find it funny (and, perhaps, revealing) that it has had its share of girlfriends...past tense...and there was a share of them. Guess you can't get away with being an asshole for long IRL?

ETA: Had to fix the pronoun. "He" doesn't quite cut it. "It" is more fitting.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Man ,I have seen some people that are weak, but K9, you are in words a weak man. To truly control you must respect , to be the dominator you must Love. To me a true Dom loves, respects , and understands his sub better than she does herself. With that he can bring her to her most dippiest desires. She will not feel less ,but be reborn as a truly beautiful flower starching for the sun of a new DAY.
Now, I will not fight with you on here, and if you must know about me. I’m not the kind of a guy that takes to word threats. To the ladies, and gents that have been disrespected by K9 let me be the first to say he truly doesn’t speak for. or represent any men I know.

Oh, he speaks for a few men that I know-- let's be realistic here. But he doesn't speak for anyone that matters.

 

[lana316]

Oh, he speaks for a few men that I know-- let's be realistic here. But he doesn't speak for anyone that matters.

It speaks for the men who cannot keep a relationship with anyone except for those who are so lost into the pit of dispair they think its idiocy is brilliance

 

[switchbitch]

Hey, I'm a female Sub and I've been through several Doms who would train or retrain me in their own unique way.

For the Doms out there, how do you like to train your Sub? What do you like to have them do?

For the Subs out there, what have your Doms made you do? What was your favorite type or part of your training?

Figured this would be a great way to show others particular styles of Sub training and maybe give each other some ideas.

I have to say I do enjoy training a submissive. I love molding my pets in so many different ways.to be able to recognize at a glance when I would like them to speak or be silent, serve or accept, move or still, all at my pleasure and ultimately theirs.training them to know when a command is a command and request is just a request.there is a certain delightin knowing that with one raised eyebrow my submissive will bend and spread.HMMMMMMMM god damned yummy

 

[raj1995]

Hi All
I am new here and have read some of the thoughts
In my view, the relationship between a Dom and a Sub is nothing else but about love for the Sub.
The training is not about what the Dom wants, but trying to find out what the Sub dreams about and is unable to do due to inhibitions.
it is about the power that the sub gives over to a Dom and the Dom makes the Sub do these things. this itself is liberating.
The relationship is only partly sexual and so much more intellectual.
It is about giving up control and still trusting ur Dom to do the right thing.
If there are Dom's who think this is about brutality or only enforcing their will on the sub, then they are wrong. Iit is about really getting to know ur sub, what binds HER, and helping her be free of these bounds. In this process, it is the dom who takes the responsibility to identify these boundries and helps her Sub overcome them.

Too often stories and movies talk of this relationship only in sexual terms. It is sexual partly, not completely. It is so much more. It is about trust and love, from both sides.

Though I am a Dom myself, I only form relationships with voluntary subs, the catchphrase being voluntary, and even then we both have to click. I will not do certain things to a sub, even if she asks. Then she is not the ONE for me.

I subscribe to a view that it is a relationship, not a sentence.

 

[raj1995]

For the Doms out there, how do you like to train your Sub? What do you like to have them do?



This is very specific to a sub. It si about what the sub feels is binding her. sometimes it is about unusual sexual acts, and some times it is about the social norms that the sub feels that restrain her expressions. In my view one starts slowly, initially talking to ur sub with some commonly held inhibitions, anal, public sex, intimate humiliation, or gentle pain etc. one of these will eveoke a response, physical or emotional. that is the line to take. for example if it is Anal sex, then talking about this will excite her, and then slowly one expands in it, add some mild pain, some humiliation, talk about a position where she will not have a choice but to do these things. if the response in positive then I would introduce the physical aspects as well. slowly and increasing it in intensity and frequency


As I am a Male Dom, I have mentioned as Sub being a female. I expect that would be true for male subs as well

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hi All

The training is not about what the Dom wants, but trying to find out what the Sub dreams about and is unable to do due to inhibitions.
it is about the power that the sub gives over to a Dom and the Dom makes the Sub do these things. this itself is liberating.

Welcome to the forum, I hope you enjoy it here. Isn't this saying that being a submissive means you need someone to push you to do xyz because you do not have the courage, will and/or means of doing it themselves? I find that very subjective and not giving credit to submissives who do not need anyone to tell them how to do something, or force them to, and who often have achieved highly and overcome great obstacles in their life completely through their own will and experience. Not all submissives are helpless and waiting for someone to come along and take care of them, some of us are strong, have lead a full and successful life on their own, and choose to submit simply for submission itself, not needing another to make them a better person, or free them from themselves as such. Does that make sense?

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

When you call yourself in your profile: ‘Smart ass (who lives) in my mind, mostly’; this says it all, illusory and phony person, with your own stupid condescension; so I don’t need to waste my time on your bullshit, Mr Jackass, that’s if you have the brain to comprehend

This from the enlightened kundalini orgasm.

I actually love the "worthless useless" paradigm, but I have the good sense to agree with Stella that it's a good deal of work to explore that and I don't want to live there. Nor do I think H needs to live there. It's mutually fulfilling an itch. I don't understand why "service Dom" put your panties into such a buttwad unless you really do think doing something for someone else makes you an idiot and not - well, being an idiot.

I enjoy delving into "worthless useless" with H. He does too, so what we must stop immediately so I can make him suffer "for real?"

As for training my current favorite thing is reminding M to perform his voice exercises.

 

[teknight]

This from the enlightened kundalini orgasm.

I actually love the "worthless useless" paradigm, but I have the good sense to agree with Stella that it's a good deal of work to explore that and I don't want to live there. Nor do I think H needs to live there. It's mutually fulfilling an itch. I don't understand why "service Dom" put your panties into such a buttwad unless you really do think doing something for someone else makes you an idiot and not - well, being an idiot.

I enjoy delving into "worthless useless" with H. He does too, so what we must stop immediately so I can make him suffer "for real?"

As for training my current favorite thing is reminding M to perform his voice exercises.

It is easy to fling insults on the interwebs, dear lady.
I admit I've pissed it off numerous times by calling it a troll. Based on its posts, I believe it is a troll, a sadist of the non fun consensual variety. Mind you, I readily admit that this won't ingratiate me with it, but, it's a burden I'm willing to bear.

Thought is dear and hard to come by, for yours truly as well, although, some would claim that it's only dear (by which I mean expensive) to other people. I'm still not convinced that trolls think, though.

</threadjack>

 

[raj1995]

Welcome to the forum, I hope you enjoy it here. Isn't this saying that being a submissive means you need someone to push you to do xyz because you do not have the courage, will and/or means of doing it themselves? I find that very subjective and not giving credit to submissives who do not need anyone to tell them how to do something, or force them to, and who often have achieved highly and overcome great obstacles in their life completely through their own will and experience. Not all submissives are helpless and waiting for someone to come along and take care of them, some of us are strong, have lead a full and successful life on their own, and choose to submit simply for submission itself, not needing another to make them a better person, or free them from themselves as such. Does that make sense?

Catalina

HI Catalina
It is not about needing somebody or wanting it to be someone else to talk the lead This is not about courage or willpower. some things in life need more than one person.
this is about partnership, as equals.
Dom and sum, in my mind are still partners, equal partners, they just have divided the roles between themselves. I completely agree that a sub is not helpless, he/she has made a choice. This itself shows that a concious decision, well thought through, was made. if this not courageous, I dont know what is. to trust some one else with so much requires a lot more will power and guts than being at the receiving end. If one agrees with this then, another person in the relationship is a partner, both of them agreeing to work together to achieve a common goal, but with diff end results. they just do diff things to achieve it. A sub gets something from it and so does a dom.
Too many times it looks like subs like pain etc so doms give it to them. I dont believe it to be true. I think it is a relationship where both need something from it and get it, if done right.


Being a dom does not mean one has to me insensitive, it just means one is tuned to some uncommon needs of ur partner.
Being a sub does not mean, in my mind, someone who needs a dom to come and help them all the time, or tell them what to do, it just means that at times, they would prefer somebody else takes lead in certain situations.

I am sure with the experiences available here, people will agree or disagree.
I would welcome some thoughts.

As I have my thoughts, people will have theirs, might be diff from mine, but that is OK. It is nice to have a discussion.

 

[catalina_francisco]

HI Catalina
It is not about needing somebody or wanting it to be someone else to talk the lead This is not about courage or willpower. some things in life need more than one person.
this is about partnership, as equals.
Dom and sum, in my mind are still partners, equal partners, they just have divided the roles between themselves. I completely agree that a sub is not helpless, he/she has made a choice. This itself shows that a concious decision, well thought through, was made. if this not courageous, I dont know what is. to trust some one else with so much requires a lot more will power and guts than being at the receiving end. If one agrees with this then, another person in the relationship is a partner, both of them agreeing to work together to achieve a common goal, but with diff end results. they just do diff things to achieve it. A sub gets something from it and so does a dom.
Too many times it looks like subs like pain etc so doms give it to them. I dont believe it to be true. I think it is a relationship where both need something from it and get it, if done right.


Being a dom does not mean one has to me insensitive, it just means one is tuned to some uncommon needs of ur partner.
Being a sub does not mean, in my mind, someone who needs a dom to come and help them all the time, or tell them what to do, it just means that at times, they would prefer somebody else takes lead in certain situations.

I am sure with the experiences available here, people will agree or disagree.
I would welcome some thoughts.

As I have my thoughts, people will have theirs, might be diff from mine, but that is OK. It is nice to have a discussion.

I agree with much of what you have said, sadly though, many subs do feel it is about primarily meeting their needs, and many overall believe a sub is someone who needs rescuing or directing to survive. For us, the goal is to make his life easier which sees me doing many things including taking care of the financial side of our relationship....he earns the money, I pay the bills and bank. If I am sick he usually takes care of me if he sees it is necessary, if he is sick I take care of him. And yes, I love pain deliverd by him, and he loves to deliver pain...it works.

Catalina

 

[Stella_Omega]

And once again I can point out the problem with labeling everyone "sub" or "dom" the way so many hetero BDSM people do.

Not everyone who bottoms in BDSM is submissive-- and many people don't even seem to understand, from the conversations I've witnessed here. I do think it's because of this poor way of labeling you guys have developed...

 

[lana316]

And once again I can point out the problem with labeling everyone "sub" or "dom" the way so many hetero BDSM people do.

Not everyone who bottoms in BDSM is submissive-- and many people don't even seem to understand, from the conversations I've witnessed here. I do think it's because of this poor way of labeling you guys have developed...

I'm not assuming that all bottoms are submissive. I meant this to be for Dominant and Submissive people. Not as labels but as who and what they are.

 

[Primalex]

You don't seem to have enough imagination or intelligence to understand what I'm saying

You get used to its postings.

 

[Primalex]

Hey, I'm a female Sub and I've been through several Doms who would train or retrain me in their own unique way.

Really? This is a surprising result for a shy person who has trouble trusting. About how many Doms do we talk and isn't this a very confusing process?

Figured this would be a great way to show others particular styles of Sub training and maybe give each other some ideas.

Why do I think this thread is not as altruistic as you try to make it look like?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm not assuming that all bottoms are submissive. I meant this to be for Dominant and Submissive people. Not as labels but as who and what they are.

Ah, yes-- you can see from some of the conversation that a lot of people don't know the difference.

 

[Primalex]

Thank goodness ignorance is bliss and that you are so very happy. I am also glad that your being a Dom doesn't require you to be a REAL man since you have failed so pitifully in that endeavor.

Well, I think he does have a point.

If an ad in the profile is the sign of a bad Dom, then being overweight is a sign for a bad health worker.


But maybe both statements, which two people wrote without thinking, are just complete bullshit.

What do you think is the truth?