True love and friend

[twodogs]

jacqline

Thank you i might need you , i can only keep it in so long .
I work hard for others but myself i deserve the p
ain i got for what i did .
You can never go back to correct things that's what's sad .
But like they say you made your bed now you sleep in it .

 

[mayi]

wow

great thread......lots of good thoughts here.

mayi

 

[islandman]

Re: love

thank you for calling it to myattenion i said that wrong i ment to say can younot be in love and be friends when you were in love before

I think you're right, TwoDogs. I am going through this sort of thing right now with someone i met on Lit and lives in Philly. Along the way the conversations became ackward and i lost my best friend in the world. Wish it wasn't going that way, but i seem powerless to stop it.

Perhaps i should chalk it up to one of those "life experiences".

 

[mayi]

never powerless........just try again........it may work better this time

mayi

 

[blancskies]

Im friends with someone who I was a lover with 22 years ago. Its STILL hard though....that wondering if you did the right thing, esp when things are rough at home, that grass is greener thing. Our lives have remained intertwined all these years, some times with a lot of contact, some times with none. sometimes having too much contact is hard....makes me wish for things I cant have, but all in all, hes the person who KNOWS me the best, I tell him things way before I tell other people, because he just gets me. It is nice to know deep down in my heart of hearts that he loves me.

 

[twodogs]

theislandman

Talk alot if you want this person there is nobody that fuckesup any more than me , and i about lost my best friend , don't go down with out a fight if they realy mean something to you.
Good luck

 

[twodogs]

best friend

WEll i seen a saying in here about the grass and it said about beeing greener but it stil has to be mowed..
This person is very close to you and you him don't lose that people like that are hard to find and keep .
You know how he feels about you and makes you feel good and should , so i would keep it like that so many of us in here don't have that ,that's why we are here looking for it .

 

[Cara_f_32]

The way i feel.....

I hate breaking up with someone and not being friends afterwards. Usually if I was involved with someone that became my best friend and it was important to me to become involed in his life and to immediately stop caring about his stupid ice climbing weekends or cat or grandmothers surgery is dang near impossible for me.

That is the most unfortunate part when you are at the point where the sight of him revolts you...or makes you cry....and the friendship is gone.

Just my thought.

 

[twodogs]

friend

Oh that's so sad ,i hate to here that, but you are right some of us just can't shut it off like it was a water spicket or garden hose.
But some can , ithink those kind never cared to start with.
You are in a good place we all have bee or are there now ,you are not alone.

 

[Cara_f_32]

All it takes is time and

Not that i've had alot of ex's but i'm basically friends with all expect two. And those are the ones everyone says why would you want to be.

It is all part of resolving what happened in the relationship and moving on and making peace.

I think the " I'm a lover not a fighter" or maybe
"Make Peace not War" is my moto.

 

[~Bashful~]

Ok.....................

*DEEP SIGH*

I have recently had my heart broken, ripped from me and stomped on, and thrown to the way side. I have also found out I am pregnant, he knows this and so chooses to still move on.

I have recently found out that there are more complications than expected with the pregnancy.

I am devistated that I have to deal with this on my own, I cry and cry, and just sit and wonder why..... how can this be? what did I do wrong? where did we go wrong? why did he leave me? and why do i still care and LOVE him so much? so many questions and no answers......

I sat today and reread all of our emails, AOL IM's, and so on.... trying to figure out where it all went so wrong, if it was something i did, something I said......

I looked and saw all the times he told me he LOVED me and I was his EVERYTHING, and he wanted to be with me FOREVER, no matter, or however it took for us to get there, he told me I was HIS LIFE......

I am just lost and confused and I know none of you can answer those questions for me, I guess I just needed to vent and get this out. Tomorrow I go and have some minor surgery done to help prevent the lose of the child, and i sit and wonder to myself..... "would he even care, would he want to know,?"

If all of you can please just take a moment and pray... for my unborn child that this is what it takes to make sure that I can carry the baby full term.

Thank You All.... and Bless.......

 

[Jacqline]

Bashful,

You have an endless supply of hugs in a bank account for you.....whenever you need one, just get it and they will replenish themselves. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I would call the crisis clinic nearest to you........they will give you information on what agency could help you with what you are going through......you never have to go through it alone.

Take care, sweet one.............I care.................

Jacqline

 

[twodogs]

bashful

Honey i was there when came in i'm still here for you , now you listen to old twodogs if you need to talk ,talk to me it helps .
We are all here for you think of us as your new family we will not leave you or the baby in the cold .
Speaking for myself anytime you need to vent come over to my dog house and we will talk, i will clean it before you come.
Hey you hang tight sweetie i'm worried about you ,will watching out for you .
I know we can't be there in person but sugar you got a whole bunch of love behind you ,you are not alone .

 

[AppleHeart]

{{{{{Bashful}}}}}

Seems like you have done much of your grieving, it's now time for living. Remember you have a little one to consider now.

Will be saying prayers for you and the little one.

As Twodogs said, we are here for you anytime you need us.

Yes, me included - although I have not been around for weeks due to a very busy workload. I did find that I had some extra time tonight and decided to stop by here, saw that this thread had been active and decided to pop in and say hi to Twodogs and everyone.

Bashful, if you need more venting, I'm available and will make time for you anytime. Why? Because a long time ago, I had a friend who was in the same position you find yourself in. She found out he was already married back home and had pretended to be single here. He never showed his face when he learned he was going to be a father and refused to have anything to do with her or her baby when we finally tracked him down. Luckily, she had very supportive friends who were there for her whenever she needed anyone. Heck, I was even her Lamaze partner and was with her when her son was born. He's now grown-up and getting married in June, would you believe? (Guess who's the proud Godmother??)

Hope you find comfort and strength in the words your cyber friends and family have for you. Just reach out, 'k?

Edith aka AppleHeart

 

[twodogs]

appleheart

Why you sweet thing i have not heard from you in way to long of a time.
How are you doing sweetie good i hope , for me same as always a day late dollar short.
Stop in sometime we will have a talk, lots happened since we talked .
You take care and remember the old dog is still around, in fact another year coming on for old dog soon to soon LOL, see ya

 

[mayi]

bashful........i am here for you also.......please feel free to pm anytime. i had to rough pregencies....so i can help if you need it.......please let us know.

mayi

 

[AppleHeart]

Re: appleheart

Why you sweet thing i have not heard from you in way to long of a time.
How are you doing sweetie good i hope , for me same as always a day late dollar short.
Stop in sometime we will have a talk, lots happened since we talked .
You take care and remember the old dog is still around, in fact another year coming on for old dog soon to soon LOL, see ya

I apologize for being incommunicado for a while - too many things happening IRL. I had to disable my PM and e-mail options because, well, maybe we can talk sometime and I will tell you why, 'k?

If you are hinting about having a birthday soon, well, let me be the first to wish that you have a very happy one. I'll bring the DomP and if I know how it's done, I will even throw you a cyber party.

Take care and hope all is well with you and everyone.

Gemini/Dragon(Apple)Heart

 

[twodogs]

talk

Anytime i'm always here ,and if not pm me or e mail here is a new one with M S N twodogs124@hotmail.com will always get back to you .
Yes we can chat when ever you want . god girl you are working to hard.
I got something to tell you in a e mail about something you told me a while back .
You take care and sweetie slow down just a little don't want anything to happen to you .

 

[Richard49]

Re: Hi

Hi twodogs it's me again my thoughts are that when you truely love someone they are your lover your partner and your friend for life.I know it doesn't always work out like that but I feel that that's the feeling you should have towards your ......?
Wendy

I agree with you Wendy...this is the only way to enter into a LTR
It is also why it hurts so bad when it ends

Richard

 

[Richard49]

a third may be ?

from my personal exp. i feel that a postrelationship friendship depends on two things:

1. How well you can each understand what REALLY broke you up
2. How well you can let go any pain involved in the seperation

in fact, these also play in keeping a relationship (esp a longterm one) going through troubles, but they require comunication, presonal reflection, and understanding.

I would like to add a third to both of your two lists
IN respect to staying freinds after...distance also plays a role

In respect to keeping a LTR going I would add
personal honesty

Richard

 

[Richard49]

My heart is broken

Unlike others I was never in love untill about 13 years ago.....I am 52.......I was a hunter.....I look for females that could give me what I wanted......I was a good compainion/lover/Dom....but I held my love in....I did not want to be hurt.......

About 13 years ago I meet Cyndi....I fell in love with her at first site......she became my sub...we married 9 years ago last Dec....
She cared for me when I was ill to the point of being bedridden....when she became bedridden from illness I also took care of her............

Everyday she was sexier than the day before.........

I came home from a VFW conference in Sept to find she had deserted me.....she demanded a D and I files MArch 18th......I did not want the seperation or the D.....because she left the way she did...everything of hers is here and everyday I have to pack a little more of it........it triggers pain very deep inside me.....

She left me everything including the memoeries......memeroies that are triggered almost any where I go in this town....

Can we be freinds after the D is final? I do not know....
Can I ever allow myself to love again? I do not know.....

Richard

 

[AppleHeart]

Re: My heart is broken

Unlike others I was never in love untill about 13 years ago.....I am 52.......I was a hunter.....I look for females that could give me what I wanted......I was a good compainion/lover/Dom....but I held my love in....I did not want to be hurt.......

SNIP

She left me everything including the memoeries......memeroies that are triggered almost any where I go in this town....

Can we be freinds after the D is final? I do not know....

Can I ever allow myself to love again? I do not know.....

Richard

I'm so sorry to read about your sad experience.

I don't know what to tell you to make you feel better, or make the hurt go away, but if you need to talk, we are here to commiserate with you cuz we all have similar experiences.

So, pull up a chair and come sit by me if you need a hug or an attentive ear or a shoulder to cry on. I am not too good with words, but I am a good listener.

I think we all are here.

ebc

 

[AppleHeart]

Re: talk

Yes we can chat when ever you want . god girl you are working to hard.

I got something to tell you in a e mail about something you told me a while back .

You take care and sweetie slow down just a little don't want anything to happen to you .

twodogs,

I will try and catch you sometime, whether online or by e-mail.

I am interested in what you have to say so I will try to make it sooner rather than later, 'k?

As for work, well, I really have no choice since I had tacitly agreed to the extra workload that this new study requires, but as long as it will eventually help many afflicted with ARMD, I think it may just be worthwhile.

Now, YOU take care, live happy, love wisely...

ebc

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: My heart is broken

I'm so sorry to read about your sad experience.
I don't know what to tell you to make you feel better, or make the hurt go away, but if you need to talk, we are here to commiserate with you cuz we all have similar experiences.
So, pull up a chair and come sit by me if you need a hug or an attentive ear or a shoulder to cry on. I am not too good with words, but I am a good listener.
I think we all are here.
ebc

Thank you Appleheart.........
I deal with it one day at a time.
Sometimes one minute at a time.......
I admit I wish I had a live person to hold me at times......

 

[TantaLiza]

{{{{{{{{Richard}}}}}}}}

My heart hurts for you...just out of a relationship myself, although marriage wasn't in the picture....I know how it feels just to want someone to hold you....it would just make things a little bit better...we just have to believe that time heals most wounds... take care!!

Hugs!!!!

Liza