Trust and Honesty...opinions please

[watergirl]

*subscribes*

To make this easy to find for later reading. I really need to ponder the topic of this thread.

I'm just getting my toes into acceptance of my happiness when I find someone to submit to. Finding the right person for that is hard, because I hold myself to very high standards, and they would have to at least meet them for me to look up to them.

I'm just getting to know someone, and I'm very uncertain of myself in it right now. I relate to a lot of the remarks I read at the beginning of the thread. Some of my tension would be alleviated if I had more self confidence. But more of it would be resolved if I could get more definite answers from him.

Once again, here's me, being glad of the Lit community.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Nostalgic bump....

 

[Chiara_searches]

Trust and honesty...two words that are on my mind in all aspects of my life.

Do I trust everyone I meet? No. Do I try to be honest? Yes. But of course there are limits.

It is vital, fundamental, insert emphatic words here, that in my close relationships, including anything sexual, there be a measure of trust and honesty. It has to go both ways between two people.

Unfortunately, with real reasons, but no longer good reasons, I still sometimes fail at the trust part. In trying to learn to overcome my trust issues, I have to say that these words struck home:

Honesty is the backbone of integrity and tests the vulnerability of a submissive. . . . So easily the single word * honest!* without a thought of the consequences to the subtleties of slight deceptions in the purity of the statement, can pass the lips before they pass the brain. Honesty has no less importance when it is presented by the [d]ominant. To mouth the word in insincerety shows . . . weakness.

Living life with integrity is important to me. But I can't figure out how, at 42, I'm only coming to learn (or only coming to remember) that if the other person isn't honest, that's a reflection on his or her lack of integrity and not a reflection on me. So while I continue to navigate life, I think I'll still try to learn how to trust better, how to continue with integrity, all the while being just a tad wary from being burned in the past. Can the two work together?

Insincerely bantering the word "honesty" around is, truly, a weakness. To me it implies a lack of understanding or lack of faith in one's self. You are either hiding the truth from yourself and unable to speak it; or you're scared of the consequences if you do speak it. Regardless of your role in the dynamic, getting to know one's mind is important. How else can you be sure you are following your heart's desire?

 

[Heidi123]

Trust and Honesty

I love your post. Those things are so important! Totally agree with everything you said. It's the way I like to live my life. Very well written!

 

[CurvAppeal]

I have been a female sub twice and I have realized that Honesty and Trust is the ultimate Submission to My Master. I have had two amazing D/s relationships because of the amount of trust we had in each other and I am so sorry it had to end the way it did.

*Wistful Sigh* Hum....

Curvie ​

 

[Billy_Verbier]

concur

while I yearn for an opportunity to be in control...it would have to be as you say - dished out with trust and honesty...can you really achieve true submission without that utter trust in your dom?

- neophyte..