Twenty Somethings

[My Own Way]

After spending 22 years in the north...I really do feel for you guys and the crappy springs. You would have thought that by the end of May it would be nicer. I'll stop rubbing my vacation like weather in your faces . Anyway...my days are pretty boring too. Spend the day doing homework or staring at a wall...exciting huh??

Gemini...would you PLEASE tell your Yankees to start sucking again...I'm really not happy with them.

HC...I did get the PM...I haven't responded to any PM's in like two weeks...I'll get to it soon...I promise.

Gotta go now...I have a kitty butt in my face and can hardly see the screen...
's

 

[Little Bird]

I'm living in the north of germany, a part of the world that is almost ever cold.
It's fucking hot even after midnight and to make things even worse, I'm moving to the south in a month, the part of germany that gets warm in summer...

I'd better like Norway or such things...

 

[Munachi]

Hi everyone...

since you were speaking of height while ago - I met this guy on the bus to a festival last weekend and we were flirting quite a bit, and personality-wise he is just what i like... but when we got off the bus I realized he is shorter than me (and I am quite short myself, 1.60 m not sure what that is in feet) - and I must say it made me much less interested in him. Well he is also very thin, and I just like guys that look strong, I prefer somewhat overweight to somewhat underweight.

I feel shallow now, but I am just not physically attracted to him though at the same time he is a great person and I would hate to loose contact with him. Well I am meeting him in a few hours and have to tell him that. I hate that...

 

[My Own Way]

Hi everyone...

since you were speaking of height while ago - I met this guy on the bus to a festival last weekend and we were flirting quite a bit, and personality-wise he is just what i like... but when we got off the bus I realized he is shorter than me (and I am quite short myself, 1.60 m not sure what that is in feet) - and I must say it made me much less interested in him. Well he is also very thin, and I just like guys that look strong, I prefer somewhat overweight to somewhat underweight.

I feel shallow now, but I am just not physically attracted to him though at the same time he is a great person and I would hate to loose contact with him. Well I am meeting him in a few hours and have to tell him that. I hate that...

Yeah...I'm the same way though...so if you're shallow so am I. I'm a firm believer that no matter what people say, looks do matter. Regardless of personality, you HAVE to be physically attracted to someone. I've liked a lot of people based on personality, but I just can't feel romantic about them unless I also think they're handsome.

I also dislike men who are shorter and skinnier than me. I feel like I would crush them...and I'm not even that tall or heavy...

 

[Munachi]

Yeah...I'm the same way though...so if you're shallow so am I. I'm a firm believer that no matter what people say, looks do matter. Regardless of personality, you HAVE to be physically attracted to someone. I've liked a lot of people based on personality, but I just can't feel romantic about them unless I also think they're handsome.

I also dislike men who are shorter and skinnier than me. I feel like I would crush them...and I'm not even that tall or heavy...

yes exactly... i need the feeling of that a guy is physically stronger... and I do sometimes feel sexually attracted to people whose personality I don't like, and of course I like people a lot even if I am not attracted to them - but to feel romantic about them both things have to be right...

In the case of this guy what I realized was that while I liked talking to him, I felt awkward about any physical closeness other than sleeping leaning to each other on the bus journey back home (it had been very tiring, we had to take a three hour horse ride up the mountains to the festival, and then back of course) and that is something I also do with friends, just leaning to each other when sleeping on a bus. But kissing or anything like that I just felt that I don't want to. And that must mean he is not the right person for me at least not right now. I still really want to stay friends with him though. He is very funny and also he does a lot of itneresting stuff... Well I have to tell him that somehow tonight...

 

[My Own Way]

Telling them in the nicest possible way while trying to remain friends is the hardest part, especially if you get the impression they're interested in you. I hate hurting people's feelings....

 

[Munachi]

hm yes... it all just went kind of too fast for me to realize that it is going into a direction that I don't want. I know I shouldn't have flirted with him nor should I have kissed him, but it somehow just happened, and at that moment I wasn't really sure yet what I think... and when I was I just didn't really know how to tell...

 

[1stClassNiceGuy]

Well, I guess I should be thankful that despite being tall and relatively thin, I am not misproportionately so. I've seen some really tall, thin people that make me look buff, and I'm glad I'm not that bad, hehe.

As for your problem, Munachi, trust me... It is alot easier for people to deal with honest rejection (sorry, couldn't think of a better word), than the slow, awkward realization that they aren't wanted in that way.

It sucks to hurt people by telling the truth... it sucks to be hurt by the truth...

But it really, really sucks to suffer through the slow, agonizing realization that what we believe (or want to believe) is completely wrong, especially in this kind of situation.

 

[BXGemini20]

Muna: It seems like you had a case where the heart beat out the brain experience. Maybe you did go a little too far. Sometimes it is good to trust your gut insticts. I know there were times in school where I wanted to talk to a girl, but my brain always stopped me. It is like if my brain is a dictator. Sometimes I should just shut down my brain and listen to my heart.

 

[HybridCrow]

Can't agrue with that. NBA does have a lot of bullshit. SOmetimes it is worser than WWE. Who the hell watches WWE anyway. Another day, another dreary day. *sighs* No more playing Pokemon. I should fire the old PS2 up. I need to rent a game or two from Blockbuster.

Yeah, I used to watch Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, and a few others back in the day, but I pretty much got out of it. Nowadays, I just end up catching that show that's usually on Saturday nights that shows the highlights. I have to admit, from what I've seen, Batista seems to be a rather good newcomer.

Hmm.... I stopped playing Pokemon a long time ago. I've got the PS2 fired up for a long, LONG journey. I finally made a point to NOT buy anymore or rent anymore new games until I have finished the whole box of games I already have. Currently I'm working on Shadow Hearts 2: Covenant. I should be almost finished with it. If you must know, I have over 100 games, PSX and PS2 combined... MOSTLY RPGs. They're the longest, but I love them.

 

[HybridCrow]

Speaking of shallow-minded folks... I really hate those type of people. All my life, I got nothing but crap from people because of my looks. I figured I was an ugly duckling waiting to grow up. Now I'm 21 years old, I'm SEMI-cute, and instead of fat, I'm slightly built with a few extra pounds. Hehe, those days working out with the football team did some good. Too bad that was the sophomore year in High school.

Don't get me wrong, "beauty is the eye of the beholder." sounds right to me. People tend to see other people differently. And granted, looks would be great thing to have, but personally, if you just go solely on looks, you're really not going to get anywhere.

Now that I know that my dad's condition he had before he died is genetic, I really need to work on getting in shape more, stop being angry about even the little things, and eat right more often.

Granted, there should be somebody out there for everyone, but I'll only believe that when it actually happens to me.

I'm not trying to be pessimistic and bitchy in life or to you guys just to make myself look bad or get people to feel sorry for me. I simply just didn't have a good life and I'm working at fixing that problem. I've been a lot calmer now than I was 5-10 years ago. I seldom curse (the only times are when I hurt myself).

Despite dad's death, I've been feeling rather good about life in general because I have actually met (online and in person) people who aren't as bad as I have proclaimed society to be, and there are people who are more honest than people were back then.

However, as far as shallow-minded people go... so long as they're honest about being shallow, I'm fine with it. Most of the time I don't really have to find out from them they're shallow. I can usually pick it off like a sniper to his prey.

Anyhow, my movies I ordered about a week or two ago came in... surprisingly fast too. So, I'm going to go and watch one or two. Laters!

 

[My Own Way]

Well now that we've determined that both Munachi and I are shallow, narrow minded individuals....let's move on shall we??

 

[My Own Way]

But it really, really sucks to suffer through the slow, agonizing realization that what we believe (or want to believe) is completely wrong, especially in this kind of situation.

Hmmmm...that doesn't sound too good NG...

 

[1stClassNiceGuy]

Hmmmm...that doesn't sound too good NG...

Take my word for it, it hurts like hell, compounded by the fact that you now feel stupid for pursuing something that wasn't gonna happen. But, the past is the past (And hopefully not currently repeating itself, hehe)

And I don't believe you two are shallow for stating that physical attraction is necessary. I believe it is necessary too, so long as it is understood that my definition of what is physically attractive might differ from someone else's.

You are not shallow for not liking someone in a romantic sense because you don't find them physically attractive.

You ARE shallow for not liking someone in a romantic sense because someone ELSE doesn't find them physically attractive. It should be your decision, not society's, not your friends', no one but you.

With that said, there are all types out there.. different people like different things. There are those who choose to look past was is societally considered "good" and choose for themselves, and there are those who are more concerned about what other people think, rather than making up their own mind.

I am by no means a model, nor am I a troll. I find myself in a comfortable middle ground as far as my looks go. Some may ( and have ) consider me good looking, some may (and have ) consider me not so good looking. Such is life. <shrugs>

As far as my choice, I'll take a nice, smart, fun, moderately physically attractive (by society's standards) female over a supermodel bitch/ditz/golddigger/narcissist any day of the week.

 

[My Own Way]

As far as my choice, I'll take a nice, smart, fun, moderately physically attractive (by society's standards) female over a supermodel bitch/ditz/golddigger/narcissist any day of the week.

Well I guess that counts me out...3 out of 5 of the bad traits doesn't bode well...LOL... Well I'm glad to hear that you weren't talking about the current situation, I got worried there for a second that things weren't going well.

Personally, I don't see myself as a shallow person. Am I honest about what I'm looking for in a relationship, yes. Do I personally feel that it's necessary to consider looks in order to be romantically attracted to someone, yes. Do I think that the most important thing is how someone looks, no. Would I persue a relationship where I have nothing in common, or even dislike the person, only because they're physically attractive, no. Maybe the first two make me shallow in other people minds, and that's just fine by me. Personally, I think I'm the least shallow and the least judgemental person...but then again...we all view ourselves with rose colored glasses.

 

[1stClassNiceGuy]

I had a feeling you were thinking I may have been alluding to the current situation I am in. =)

Still in the same boat there, and even if she has lost interest, I am not pursuing her anyway. Right now I am her friend, as long as she needs me to be. If she needs more or less of me, then all she has to do it ask. I like her, obviously, but I have it in my head that it just might not happen, and I am fine with that. May sound pessimistic, and I can't argue that... but I don't look at it that way. We have a good thing going as it is, and thats all I could ask for. Should it go further, then I have gained something more... should it stay where it is, then I have lost nothing, and still have a good thing going. =)


And, on a side note, I doubt from anything I have seen in these forums (or from my tree!) that I would count you out

 

[HybridCrow]

MyOwn and Munachi, I just want to apologize for making it sound like I was saying you two were shallow-minded people. That really was not my intention. I was stating IN GENERAL about my thoughts on shallow-minded people since that was the current topic.

Personally, I think you're both great so far as I'm aware. And I'm not saying you're shallow-minded either. As I said, I was only speaking in general terms, not to pick at specifics.

And I was simply making an agreeable comment that nobody should like/love/hate/and every other emotional word in that category solely based on looks because looks aren't everything. Maybe it can happen, but surely it won't last long.

 

[My Own Way]

I had a feeling you were thinking I may have been alluding to the current situation I am in. =)

Still in the same boat there, and even if she has lost interest, I am not pursuing her anyway. Right now I am her friend, as long as she needs me to be. If she needs more or less of me, then all she has to do it ask. I like her, obviously, but I have it in my head that it just might not happen, and I am fine with that. May sound pessimistic, and I can't argue that... but I don't look at it that way. We have a good thing going as it is, and thats all I could ask for. Should it go further, then I have gained something more... should it stay where it is, then I have lost nothing, and still have a good thing going. =)


And, on a side note, I doubt from anything I have seen in these forums (or from my tree!) that I would count you out

No, not pessimistic at all. I think you have the right attitude. You've made it clear to her that you're there if she needs you and that you care for her no strings attached. At the end of the day, in my opinion, the most important thing is to know that regardless of all the external and internal conflicts, that you have been a good friend, a solid friend. Too few people can claim that today...

As for the tree...I almost didn't get that for a second...

 

[BXGemini20]

So glad I didn't say anything this time. There are always narrow minded people out there, but to each his own as the saying goes. I wonder since I never really had a girlfriend is I as shallow as people just accuse My and Muna? There have been instances where I have met nice girls, but never go beyond a simple hello. I know I made my new year resoulution to have a female friend beside my best friend's sister. Maybe you can be shallow and not know it. Hmmmm

 

[Munachi]

Shit... I am quite stupid at times... Well, I did tell him and he said he was fine with it. And then we went to meet some of his friends and went to a club and I did drink quite a bit (it is very hard to refuse drinks here), and well, I guess I did some thing I shouldn't have done.

 

[1stClassNiceGuy]

Well, My...

As much as I would love to appear completely innocent and pureal in this case, hehe... part of my reasoning for wanting to keep low-key is that I am also her boss. =P

Granted, the way my staff is right now (And by staff I mean employees, ya pervs!) that isn't an issue, really. Pretty much everyone there knows about it, hell, we talk about it openly... but still, there's that small insignificant fact that helps me justify to myself why I am doing things the way I am. Otherwise, the odds of me spinnin' her 'round and plantin' one on her every chance I get would increase a tad =P

 

[HybridCrow]

Well, My...

As much as I would love to appear completely innocent and pureal in this case, hehe... part of my reasoning for wanting to keep low-key is that I am also her boss. =P

Granted, the way my staff is right now (And by staff I mean employees, ya pervs!) that isn't an issue, really. Pretty much everyone there knows about it, hell, we talk about it openly... but still, there's that small insignificant fact that helps me justify to myself why I am doing things the way I am. Otherwise, the odds of me spinnin' her 'round and plantin' one on her every chance I get would increase a tad =P

Call me a wimp or whatever a good word to use is, but I really don't think having relationships with co-workers is a good idea. Sure, we meet people unexpectedly at work, school, etc. However, like you said, you're her boss. Bad things could come of it.

True, maybe I'm afraid to take risks, but I like to weigh whether the risks are worth taking or not before I do anything. Also, it's whether I can afford to take the risks or not.

I'm a thinker. I will always be thinking. It's in my nature to do that. As I thinker, I tend to make the choices too soon or too late. I try to handle what comes of the results as best as I can.

 

[HybridCrow]

Shit... I am quite stupid at times... Well, I did tell him and he said he was fine with it. And then we went to meet some of his friends and went to a club and I did drink quite a bit (it is very hard to refuse drinks here), and well, I guess I did some thing I shouldn't have done.

Sorry to hear the bad. Hopefully things will look better sooner or later.

 

[My Own Way]

I guess perhaps I view things a little differently. In my opinion, if you spend all your time making lists of the people you can't date because they work for you, or they're a friends ex, or they're your brother's girlfriend's cousins niece, then you've just narrowed down an already frightenly narrow dating pool. I guess I could understand if NG worked for some huge corporation, but I get the impression that's not the case, and so long as he doesn't play favorites, I don't see any harm in dating a co-worker. Right now, that's beside the point, since they seem to be little more than friends, but if I was him and the opportunity arose to further relations, then I wouldn't waste time worrying that I was her boss. Love is love, you gotta grab it when and where you can.

 

[Munachi]

Sorry to hear the bad. Hopefully things will look better sooner or later.

Ah, it is not all that bad, I was just drunk and well... I guess I am not really a "good" person, but then, I enjoy being me... And I guess I am giving him mixed signs in a way but on the other hand I told him quite clearly how I think.