Twenty things that irritate me about writing erotica

[Rob_Royale]

#11 Whenever I start thinking any woman in Skyrim is attractive, I know something is wrong and it's probably loneliness whispering in my ear. Currently it's ruining my enjoyment of Pintrest. I bet you collected every volume of the Lusty Argonian Maid, ya milk drinker.

There is a mod that fixes female faces. I hadn't collected them. Shit, now I HAVE to don't I? Damn.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

When you've trained your autocorrect to know that fuck, cock and cunt are the most common 4-letter words, and then you write an email to your boss in a hurry...

 

[Rob_Royale]

When you've trained your autocorrect to know that fuck, cock and cunt are the most common 4-letter words, and then you write an email to your boss in a hurry...

You win.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

who needs The Lusty Argonian Maid when you have an internet full of fan-art...

Oddly enough, I've never seen skyrim fan art

 

[JaxRhapsody]

There is a mod that fixes female faces. I hadn't collected them. Shit, now I HAVE to don't I? Damn.

That's just the faces, though. I admit some have cute faces, the Black-Briar girl who works in the potion shop is cute. Overall, every one of them use the same character design. Even Fable had a few different designs in use... hell... so did GTA3.

I don't run across those books much in my playthru, so I don't know how common they are. There's three, I think. I've seen the second volume maybe five or six times, the first one less than that, the third... dunno if I ever found it.

 

[Vintage_DM]

21. English has the most extensive vocabulary of any world language, but there still isn't a great enough variety to describe anatomy and activity without sounding cheesy.

That depends. In Italian, the word 'love' has five or six different synonyms. Each with a different tonal meaning.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Yeah, I'm bringing my thread back from the dead, because, damn it, I just finished a story. Normally good news right? It would be if I hadn't started an editing/polishing pass and realized that somewhere in the middle I switched from first, to third-person narrative! Now I'm torn on which way works the best for the story.

Pardon me while I go bang my head on a wall.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Yeah, I'm bringing my thread back from the dead, because, damn it, I just finished a story. Normally good news right? It would be if I hadn't started an editing/polishing pass and realized that somewhere in the middle I switched from first, to third-person narrative! Now I'm torn on which way works the best for the story.

Pardon me while I go bang my head on a wall.

I did that exact thing. In fact, I did that exact thing on the longest story I have ever written, so editing it was a task.

I did end up thinking first-person worked best.

-Annie

 

[AlexIce]

So I just started writing a couple months ago and this is so true!

I didn't realize how difficult it could be writing a good sex scene until I actually started doing so. It really have me a greater appreciation for the erotica genre in general.

Interestingly enough, I love writing scenes in which the protagonists realize/confess their feelings for one another and always seem to hit my stride with them.

 

[SouthernCrossfire]

Rob brings back the thread because he finished a story (minus the editing) but over a year later the next arc of my Skyrim story still isn’t done.

“ I used to be a writer like Rob until I took an arrow to the knee.”

 

[AG31]

Everyone says this. For me, the rest of the story is building the chapel, and the sex scene is when I get to paint the ceiling.

Well stated! Originally yours?

 

[TheRedChamber]

Everyone says this. For me, the rest of the story is building the chapel, and the sex scene is when I get to paint the ceiling.

Her - "Beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

(Old Victoria Wood line that seemed relevant here.)

 

[djrip]

Well stated! Originally yours?

Yep, it just came right out!

 

[OffNSFW]

For me, the worst part is the constant adulation. I can't go anywhere without people whispering, "Is that the guy who wrote the bisexual Mythbusters threesome?" "Look, it's the author of that story where the construction workers hook up during covid and never see each other's faces." "Remember the one that had a golden shower AND a cuckolding scene?"

The sexual attention, especially, is exhausting.

 

[Rob_Royale]

For me, the worst part is the constant adulation. I can't go anywhere without people whispering, "Is that the guy who wrote the bisexual Mythbusters threesome?" "Look, it's the author of that story where the construction workers hook up during covid and never see each other's faces." "Remember the one that had a golden shower AND a cuckolding scene?"

The sexual attention, especially, is exhausting.

Your sacrifice will not go unnoticed. Ata boy.

 

[StillStunned]

For me, the worst part is the constant adulation. I can't go anywhere without people whispering, "Is that the guy who wrote the bisexual Mythbusters threesome?" "Look, it's the author of that story where the construction workers hook up during covid and never see each other's faces." "Remember the one that had a golden shower AND a cuckolding scene?"

The sexual attention, especially, is exhausting.

My brief moment of glory was when people worshipped me bringing back 2P POV.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Yeah, I'm bringing my thread back from the dead, because, damn it, I just finished a story. Normally good news right? It would be if I hadn't started an editing/polishing pass and realized that somewhere in the middle I switched from first, to third-person narrative! Now I'm torn on which way works the best for the story.

Pardon me while I go bang my head on a wall.

Pfff. I NEVER make mistakes like that. You must feel like a right Divvy.

…Thought Em, feeling justified that they would never make a third person/first person blunder like that, until…