Writing From the Opposite Gender's POV

[AG31]

Woman have many more erogenous zones on their body than men, but when it comes to the genitals, it all originates from the same area. The groin. The penis and the clitoris are the main source of that. It sends pleasures upward through the body to the brain and back down. So yes, how one perceives those pleasures depends on the two people involved.

Toes may curl, they may not. Nipples may harden, they may not. The penis, unless the partner is unclean, is always going to get hard if the male is healthy and virile.

Also, Ladies, men NEVER know what is going to turn them on. They may lust after only blondes, but then see a brunette or a red head that has them rushing for the KY. Men may desire younger college girls, but then some older woman turns them on more than any young lady ever has. We're not complex, we're confusing.

I distinguish between "desire" and "arousal." You and @Voboy are talking mostly about arousal. I don't have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is knowing what it's like to be turned on by a female. To want a female. But that's OK, because I don't have any desire (sic) to write about a man's desire for a woman. I just mentioned it as a factor to be considered in the discussion.

 

[LonRivers]

I distinguish between "desire" and "arousal." You and @Voboy are talking mostly about arousal. I don't have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is knowing what it's like to be turned on by a female. To want a female. But that's OK, because I don't have any desire (sic) to write about a man's desire for a woman. I just mentioned it as a factor to be considered in the discussion.

How does it feel to want a man? It's the same feeling. Desire and arousal go hand in hand. If it doesn't arouse us (people) in some capacity, we don't give two shits, why would we desire it?

If you can't describe what it means to "desire" something, and it doesn't matter if it is from a male or female POV, they you don't know what it means to desire something. Desire is desire. It's just an emotion. A feeling. Just like Love is the same thing. It's an emotion. A feeling.

OR are you talking about how a man's body responds to his desire for a woman or an object? In that case, it's still the same, but add in an erection if your male character is desiring a woman. Simple. Men don't care if their dick doesn't get hard when it comes to desire for a woman.

 

[AG31]

Desire is desire. It's just an emotion. A feeling. Just like Love is the same thing. It's an emotion. A feeling.

A man's desire for a woman involves a reaction to some of these attributes (let's confine the discussion to pre-introduction - no personalities yet): Breasts, smooth skin, curves rather than muscles, certain facial shapes. I've read that men's brow bones are more prominent, women's flatter, women's cheek bones more prominent, men's chin's squarer. I've not been able to pin this down, but I know I like men's faces better than women's. I know what it feels like to have incipient desire triggered by the male characteristics. I can't imagine what it's like to be turned on by breasts or curves.

 

[StillStunned]

I can't imagine what it's like to be turned on by breasts or curves.

Imagine a small rodent confronted by a snake. The snake hisses, and sways, and moves back and forth. The rodent knows it's in trouble, but it can't look away. It keeps staring, fascinated, mesmerised, until it's too late.

That's what it's like for a man who catches a glimpse of thigh or cleavage.

 

[SimonDoom]

I can't imagine what it's like to be turned on by breasts or curves.

When other writers say, "I can't imagine," I don't understand that. I feel sorry for them, because it means they lack imagination. I can imagine anything. Anything. I'm not a foot fetishist, but I can think about it and bring myself into an imaginative state where I can picture the obsessive, kinky pleasure of the toes, the instep, everything. I'm not a gay man, but I can imagine the pleasure of being fucked up the ass. Dicks don't do anything for me, but I totally get why gay men are into dicks. I'm a hetero guy, and my perspective is to enjoy fantasizing about fucking women, but it's not at all hard for me to fantasize about what it's like to be a woman and to imagine the pleasure of having an imaginary cock enter my imaginary pussy. It's easy for me to imagine how a woman could be turned on by the lines of a man's jaw, the scent of his cologne, the polish of his shoes, the gravel in his voice, the masculine confidence in his manner. It takes no effort at all, even though these things are quite different from what I find attractive in a woman.

It always surprises me that people have a hard time imagining a different way of looking at things erotically.

 

[AG31]

Imagine a small rodent confronted by a snake. The snake hisses, and sways, and moves back and forth. The rodent knows it's in trouble, but it can't look away. It keeps staring, fascinated, mesmerised, until it's too late.

That's what it's like for a man who catches a glimpse of thigh or cleavage.

Yes. I suspected as much. But it's not what it's like when a woman catches sight of just the right face and musculature in a man. It's different. I know "that" it's different. It's just not something I can write about. Nor do I want to.

 

[Bramblethorn]

When other writers say, "I can't imagine," I don't understand that. I feel sorry for them, because it means they lack imagination. I can imagine anything. Anything.

I see people in this forum use this phrase, and it always brings me to a stop.

I can imagine anything. ANYTHING. If it can be conceived of--and I can conceive of a lot--then it can be turned into a story.

Erm.

I've always been fascinated by this condition, because I don't have it and I can't imagine it. I'm a visual person with a visual imagination. I'm more like intim8: it's like I've got a video camera running while I write, recording the images in my mind, and I'm trying to describe what I'm recording. So, it's hard for me to imagine writing without that frame of reference.

In most of the stories I've read, the characters are not wealthy. Economic issues don't arise because they're not relevant to the story. I can't imagine why "dental care" would come up in a Literotica story unless it was a fetish.

I sometimes ruffle my eyebrows at the fact that some authors seem to be very put out at the reactions they get from their readers. It's just a waste of time. If I get a bad or confused comment I laugh and I move on. I can't imagine being bothered by it

Too drunk to fuck, I get. But I can't imagine a full belly getting in the way of fucking.

I can't imagine the woman in a reverse harem being a virgin. That doesn't make any sense.

Do you actually write stories on your phone? I can't imagine doing that. ...

I have never, ever written a story on my phone. I just can't imagine that. But, then, as one gets older it seems like one's fingers become bigger and the letters on the phone keep getting smaller.

I can't imagine writing an Anal story where at the end the character says "no" to anal sex.

How in the world would you do this in one scene? I can imagine if you have alternating scenes, although I'm not fond of that format as a reader. But I can't imagine how you would do this in one scene.

In my story, for example, I moved via third person omniscient from one person's POV to the other's from one paragraph to the next. I cannot imagine doing it via 1st person.

I agree with your general point that the only REAL limit for any of this is one's imagination. But my imagination can't figure out how this would work within a scene.

I'm not sure why one would ever need to use "vas defrens" in an erotic story. I've never once thought of the phrase during sex, and I can't imagine doing so.

I can't imagine doing this if one had the choice. I am usually near a desktop or laptop computer, so I never compose on my phone. If I often were not near a computer, I could imagine using my phone out of necessity. But I can't imagine doing it unless it was a matter of necessity.

I can't imagine writing stories on paper. Haven't done that since I was a kid.

I can't imagine using the word "cunny"; it has pedo connotations to me, and I've never heard anyone use it in real life.

I can't imagine Huckleberry Finn in the third person or War and Peace in the first person.

 

[LonRivers]

I thin

Yes. I suspected as much. But it's not what it's like when a woman catches sight of just the right face and musculature in a man. It's different. I know "that" it's different. It's just not something I can write about. Nor do I want to.

I think that you are trying to put too much detail in what can be summed up with noting a facial feature such as "he eyes widened with excitement and his jaw parted slightly as he began to drool.."

Imagine how a man would look at you or if you were say...Elvira, Mistress of the Dark and how they would see you or her. Or how would YOU describe her from a sexual POV. It doesn't make you gay to imagine it for the purpose of expanding your imagination. I can write about guys stroking their big cocks without worry. I just let my imagination go batshit crazy.

Read stories from a mans POV and get a good general idea. Take the time to picture it in your mind. Think about it as you relax, and you're not trying to write. Find the best rated stories by authors that allow your imagination to drift.

 

[SimonDoom]

Erm.

Um.

Um.

Touche?

I'm a bit miffed at you for that, but that was exceptionally well done.

 

[AG31]

Erm.

Congratulations on your deep dive into the story of SimonDoom. It must have been exhauting!

 

[AG31]

When other writers say, "I can't imagine," I don't understand that. I feel sorry for them, because it means they lack imagination.

I expect that most serious authors share your ability to imagine. But I doubt that it is a really common quality.

 

[AG31]

I thin

I think that you are trying to put too much detail in what can be summed up with noting a facial feature such as "he eyes widened with excitement and his jaw parted slightly as he began to drool.."

Imagine how a man would look at you or if you were say...Elvira, Mistress of the Dark and how they would see you or her. Or how would YOU describe her from a sexual POV. It doesn't make you gay to imagine it for the purpose of expanding your imagination. I can write about guys stroking their big cocks without worry. I just let my imagination go batshit crazy.

Read stories from a mans POV and get a good general idea. Take the time to picture it in your mind. Think about it as you relax, and you're not trying to write. Find the best rated stories by authors that allow your imagination to drift.

I don't think of myself as an author. I think of myself as a recorder of fantasies. So my stories are only about what can be felt from inside. Not what can be observed. I probably am not going to write any more stories, as I don't fantasize any more. (I'm 80).

 

[SimonDoom]

Congratulations on your deep dive into the story of SimonDoom. It must have been exhauting!

I imagine Bramblethorn will say something like, "Not at all. It only took me 3 minutes."

 

[Voboy]

I distinguish between "desire" and "arousal." You and @Voboy are talking mostly about arousal. I don't have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is knowing what it's like to be turned on by a female. To want a female. But that's OK, because I don't have any desire (sic) to write about a man's desire for a woman. I just mentioned it as a factor to be considered in the discussion.

I'm not sure why it would be any different at all.

I've heard women in my life quite casually admit they're horny, and that they want to fuck. That's exactly the kind of thing I might say to people I was comfortable with. They're turned on, seemingly, in the same way I'm turned on.

And if they're not? As I posted above, everyone is different. Some women experience desire in different ways than other women do. That has obvious implications for erotic storytelling.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Congratulations on your deep dive into the story of SimonDoom. It must have been exhauting!

I imagine Bramblethorn will say something like, "Not at all. It only took me 3 minutes."

Pretty much. I have a decent memory (for the written word, if not for "where did I put my hat?") and the forum has a search function. It's not hard to find posts by a specific person using a specific phrase, though I did take a bit more than three minutes to check context of what I was quoting.

I'm a bit miffed at you for that, but that was exceptionally well done.

Surely the person you should be miffed at is Past Simon ;-)

 

[Erozetta]

Yes. I suspected as much. But it's not what it's like when a woman catches sight of just the right face and musculature in a man. It's different. I know "that" it's different. It's just not something I can write about. Nor do I want to.

Speak for yourself.

When I hear the right voice, particularly saying the right phrase to me, or have the right guy standing just the right way near me, or have him giving me just the right look, or, possibly worse, him pushing my hair behind my ear in a completely innocuous way, it's exactly like @StillStunned said.

 

[Erozetta]

And I've written from the opposite gender's POV before. Both from my own gender and the opposite gender, I've been told I did an amazing job and I've been told I got it horribly wrong. *shrug*

 

[SimonDoom]

Pretty much. I have a decent memory (for the written word, if not for "where did I put my hat?") and the forum has a search function. It's not hard to find posts by a specific person using a specific phrase, though I did take a bit more than three minutes to check context of what I was quoting.


Surely the person you should be miffed at is Past Simon ;-)

Touche again. I regret the use of the phrase "I can't imagine." New Simon rejects such phraseology. Past Simon, like Emily Litella from the old Saturday Night Live episodes, sheepishly says "Never mind."

 

[AG31]

I'm not sure why it would be any different at all.

I've heard women in my life quite casually admit they're horny, and that they want to fuck. That's exactly the kind of thing I might say to people I was comfortable with. They're turned on, seemingly, in the same way I'm turned on.

And if they're not? As I posted above, everyone is different. Some women experience desire in different ways than other women do. That has obvious implications for erotic storytelling.

"Admit they're horny." Everything's on a spectrum, and there are probably women who have reactions as strong as what @StillStunned described. But what he described is quite different from what this woman experiences, or what women are described as experiencing in most fiction I've read.

But the other thing that's different is what triggers the response. I don't know what it's like to have a breast turn you on. Just what it's like to have defined arm muscles turns you on.

 

[AG31]

Speak for yourself.

When I hear the right voice, particularly saying the right phrase to me, or have the right guy standing just the right way near me, or have him giving me just the right look, or, possibly worse, him pushing my hair behind my ear in a completely innocuous way, it's exactly like @StillStunned said.

Well, OK. It's a spectrum. The fact remains for me that it's different things that trigger the response for men and women. (Heterosexual men and women.)

 

[Voboy]

I don't know what it's like to have a breast turn you on. Just what it's like to have defined arm muscles turns you on.

You can't use your imagination?

I've never wanted to have a cock plowing into my pussy (I lack a pussy, sadly), but I can write about it.

 

[LonRivers]

I don't think of myself as an author. I think of myself as a recorder of fantasies. So my stories are only about what can be felt from inside. Not what can be observed. I probably am not going to write any more stories, as I don't fantasize any more. (I'm 80).

If you're 80 years of age, and writing, and on Literotica, keep writing!!

 

[AG31]

You can't use your imagination?

I've never wanted to have a cock plowing into my pussy (I lack a pussy, sadly), but I can write about it.

Writing about it and feeling it are two different things. That's why I don't think of myself as an author. I'm a recorder of fantasies. Can you feel it? In your imagination, of course.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Imagine a small rodent confronted by a snake. The snake hisses, and sways, and moves back and forth. The rodent knows it's in trouble, but it can't look away. It keeps staring, fascinated, mesmerised, until it's too late.

That's what it's like for a man who catches a glimpse of thigh or cleavage.

Always relevant to this discussion...

 

[TheRedChamber]

Speak for yourself.

When I hear the right voice, particularly saying the right phrase to me, or have the right guy standing just the right way near me, or have him giving me just the right look, or, possibly worse, him pushing my hair behind my ear in a completely innocuous way, it's exactly like @StillStunned said.

When I hear any female voice saying anything even slightly positive or have any girl standing anywhere even in my general vicinity, or having her give me any kind of glance, no matter how fleeting, or worse, her touching me anywhere or just bumping into me as she gets off the bus, it's exactly like StillStunned said.

Okay, that's not been quite true since my awkward teenage years, but...close. Desire no doubt varies massively between individuals as well as gender. I do remember seeing interviews with transmen who says things like 'I used to think I had a healthy sex drive becase [basically what Erozetta said] then I started on testosterone...and...whew...