Up Your Vocabulary with MG - A Daily Contribution

[Guest]

Maths, if this is going to be all about bee-ems, I'm sayng adios.

Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by perdita Maths, if this is going to be all about bee-ems, I'm sayng adios.

Dear Perdita,
Oh, no you won't. You'll still read every one, but you won't admit it.
MG
Ps. I promise there will be enough items about weird sex to keep your interest, though, dear.

 

[Guest]

I promise there will be enough items about weird sex to keep your interest, though, dear.

I'll take your word for it.

trustingly, Perdita

(But I really do metaphorically back-click when I see it's bee'm focused. I'm like Gauche that way.)

 

[Jenny _S]

Dear MG,
You must not forget The Bard in all this. Remember "Hoist by you own pitard"? That has such interesting conotations.

 

[Guest]

Hamlet, Act III, scene iv.

It's petard, and Sh're makes rich use of the word for its and the plot's meaning as Hamlet contemplates how to do in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. The phrase has come to be in common use now re. someone screwing themselves up by their own means.

Perdita

 

[Jenny _S]

Hamlet, Act III, scene iv.

It's petard, and Sh're makes rich use of the word for its and the plot's meaning as Hamlet contemplates how to do in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. The phrase has come to be in common use now re. someone screwing themselves up by their own means.

Perdita

Yes, perdita,
I stand corrected. It is petard. I believe "screwing themselves up by their own means" was the overt meaning the Bard intended, but I was speaking of the image of as in blowing youself up with a cannon-like discharge.

 

[Guest]

but I was speaking of the image of as in blowing youself up with a cannon-like discharge.

So did Sh're, it's what I meant by his rich meaning. Here's the passage, very end of the scene; my emphasis.

There's letters seal'd: and my two schoolfellows,
Whom I will trust as I will adders fang'd,
They bear the mandate; they must sweep my way,
And marshal me to knavery. Let it work;
For 'tis the sport to have the engineer
Hoist with his own petard: and 't shall go hard
But I will delve one yard below their mines,
And blow them at the moon: O, 'tis most sweet,
When in one line two crafts directly meet.

 

[Seattle Zack]

I heard two guys talking about this in the bar the other night, had to ask them about it. I didn't believe it at first, so I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary:

Danza slap : When, after oral sex, a man pulls his penis out of the woman's face and proceeds to smack it across the woman's cheeks. Used mostly as a finishing move. Not to be confused with turkeyslapping, which is just a smack in the face with a penis, not necessarily to a woman who is giving oral sex, or even someone who wants to be near the penis.

Supposedly originates from Tony Danza's pre-"Who's the Boss" career as a porn star. This was his signature move.

--Zack

 

[destinie21]

I heard two guys talking about this in the bar the other night, had to ask them about it. I didn't believe it at first, so I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary:

Danza slap : When, after oral sex, a man pulls his penis out of the woman's face and proceeds to smack it across the woman's cheeks. Used mostly as a finishing move. Not to be confused with turkeyslapping, which is just a smack in the face with a penis, not necessarily to a woman who is giving oral sex, or even someone who wants to be near the penis.

Supposedly originates from Tony Danza's pre-"Who's the Boss" career as a porn star. This was his signature move.

--Zack

Allrighty then. Sort of like the 5 point dimount.The big finish the sexual Jazz hands if you will.

Thank god I don't have to worry about that. My BF would end up being punched right in the stomach or scrotum.

 

[Icingsugar]

Danza slap : When, after oral sex, a man pulls his penis out of the woman's face and proceeds to smack it across the woman's cheeks. Used mostly as a finishing move.

Huh? Sounds like the equivalent of shaking the pecker after a whizz. Is that supposed to be sexy?

/Ice - don't watch much porn

 

[MathGirl]

If I may interrupt..................

Pardon me for breaking in on the festivities, but it's time for the Pee Emm edition of Up Your Vocabulary:

Blow your biscuits v. Speak to Ralph on the big white phone; yawn in technicolour; toss cookies . N.B. Should not be confused with Air biscuit (qv)

Captain Hogseye n. Curly bearded seafarer with a shiny, bald, purple head who trawls in cod cove (qv) and spits a lot. One-eyed trouser trout.

MG

 

[Jenny _S]

Waiting with bated breath for the "knot hole" jokes

 

[MathGirl]

More enlightenment

Cheese ridge n. The fertile area of the penis where knob cheese (qv) is cultivated. Also banjo (qv).

Cheesy wheelbarrow n. The penis, as it might appear while being pushed by an uphill gardener (qv).

Special bonus words:

Bottarina n. A female botter (qv); botarette
Equinobottarist n. One who botts horses

 

[MathGirl]

Evening treat

Cock smoker n. A lady who plays Horatio (qv) on the trouser trombone

Coffin-dodger n. Affectionate term for an incontinent, elderly relative

 

[MathGirl]

Friday delight

Chew your own arm off v. To have difficulty getting away from an ugly man/woman with whom you wake up no longer wearing your beer goggles (qv). If he/she was asleep on it, you would ‘chew your own arm off’ in order to escape. See also coyote, trout.

Chuff 1. v. To pass wind; shoot a bunny rabbit. e.g. “Oops! Best open a window, vicar. I’ve just chuffed”. 2. n. Vagina; ladies front bottom. 3. n. Anus

Educationally,
MG

 

[Seattle Zack]

Re: Monday's bonus words

Dear Zack,
A blatant hijacking, but it was informative and in impeccable taste. MG

Actually, I intended it more as a subtle piggybacking, not a blatent hijacking.....

Airplane blonde: Dyed blonde woman who comes equipped with a black box.

Vommunition: Food eaten to line the stomach before binge drinking.

--Zack (striving to be a cunning linguist)

 

[MathGirl]

Friday Pee Emm Bee Emm

blow mud v. To noisily expel a loose stool; crop spray (qv).

bowel howl n. Fearsome wailing of the anus; cutting cheese; prolonged trouser toot.

cabbage gas n. Naturally occurring pyroflatulatory bum gas used to power Dutch ovens (qv).

cable laying v. To excrete solid stools. As opposed to crop spraying (qv).

Pardons to Perdita and others with delicate sensibilities. I don't like it any better than you do, but it must be done.
MG

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Monday's bonus words

Airplane blonde: Dyed blonde woman who comes equipped with a black box.

Maths: This is clever, I like it. No need to fixate on offal.

suggestively, Perdita


p.s. to Zack: 'cunning linguist' is way old, otherwise you're cool.

 

[MathGirl]

Up your weekend vocabulary

Special for Perdita; no bee emm related words.

Captain’s Pie n. 1. Hairy pie caught fresh by Captain Hog’s Eye; haddock pastie (qv). 2. Of ship’s catering, that pie which belongs to the captain.

Carpet muncher n. One who scoffs hairy pie (qv), usually a female.

Casanova’s rubber sock n. Condom; blob; French letter.

Cat n. Homosexual man. (From the Latin catamite - a boy kept by a man for immoral purposes).

Chase the cotton mouse v. To have the painters in; flags out; surf the crimson wave; ride the cotton pony

 

[Guest]

Re: Up your weekend vocabulary

Casanova’s rubber sock n. Condom; blob; French letter.

Maths, I appreciate the consideration. As Casanova was Venetian and managed to escape prison (the one connected to the Bridge of Sighs) and write about it, I hail this entry. I doubt he used a sock though.

Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Up your weekend vocabulary

I doubt he used a sock though.

Dear Perdita,
Oh, thanks. A critic is just what I needed. I just contribute these things for the general good. I don't make them up.
MG
Ps. "Sock" was a mettyfour

 

[Guest]

Dear, dear Maths,

No criticism was intended. I was attempting to let you know how pleased I was at that particular entry. Of course I knew sock was a meta4, only meant Casanova was not wont to use protection, virtual or not.

kiss-hug, Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

kiss-hug

Dear Perdita,
Yuk, ptui.
MG
Ps. Because of your delicate sensiblilities, you may wish to eschew the evening edition of this thread. I'm afraid it's going to be bee emm based. I know you'll read it and pretend to be offended, though.
Pps. My great aunt Esther is an invenerate hugger and wet kisser. Yuk, ptui.

 

[Jenny _S]

you may wish to eschew the evening edition of this thread. I'm afraid it's going to be bee emm based. I know you'll read it and pretend to be offended, though.

Looking forward to it, MG.
However, do I have to read it twice. I just love emmm & emmms (The candy... The boys band sux.)

 

[MathGirl]

Special (all bee emm) Edition

chocolate eye n. Bumhole.

chocolate fountain n. A spectacular, anal, upside down firework ignited in the lavatory to celebrate having a belly full of beer and a dodgy curry the night before.

chocolate iceberg n. Giant turd sitting in the trap (qv), the tip of which protrudes above water level.

chocolate shark n. Unlike its relative the brown trout, the appearance of this giant beast from the bumhole often causes panic among toilet-goers.
MG
Ps. Thanks for your patience. I had to get this one over with. It's hard to get through the "Cs".
Pps. Anyone know a site devoted to bee emms and lovers thereof? I'd like to find some special items for Perdita.
Ppps. Oops, almost forgot.....chocolate shark angler n. Fisherman who sails his skin boat (qv) up the cocoa canal