Up Your Vocabulary with MG - A Daily Contribution

[Icingsugar]

MG, I thank you from the bottom of my once so innocent heart for all this valueable knowledge. I am forever ruined, and will one day manage to fill a story with all this wonderful knowledge.

/Ice - can't thing of anything witty to write down here

 

[MathGirl]

Evening offering

clusterfuck n. A regrettable situation of immense idiocy

court Madam Knuckle See Madam Palm and her five sisters

cunnifungus n. Female equivalent of knob cheese (qv). Smegmette

cunt bubble n. An air lock up the fanny, often leading to a minge burp(qv)

MG

 

[MathGirl]

Sunday school

crepitate v. Posh word for fart

crop spraying v. To have diarrhoea. As opposed to cable laying (qv). A doctor may enquire: “So what’s the old shitter been up to then? Cable laying or crop spraying?”

crowd pleaser n. Unusual or noteworthy stool which you feel an urge to show to someone before you flush. Possibly a U blocker (qv) or a chocolate shark (qv).

Cyclops n. Fabled one eyed trouser god who vomits when he is pleased

MG
Ps. Thank God the Cs are finished!

 

[CWatson]

Re: Sunday school

Originally posted by MathGirl
crowd pleaser n. Unusual or noteworthy stool which you feel an urge to show to someone before you flush.

...Sadly, this actually happens. I have this direct from a friend of mine, who has pictures. Evidently there was one they placed little paper cocktail flags on and then lit afire before photographing. I have never actually seen these pictures (nor wish to), but said friend is generally trustworthy. If entirely too immature.

~CWatson
(contributing nothing tasteful)

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Sunday school

[B little paper cocktail flags on and then lit afire [/B]

Dear CW,
And they say I'M without taste.
MG
Ps.
dog with two dicks sim. Randy; horny. As in “He came out of prison like a dog with two dicks”. Also tom cat with three balls

double adapter euph. AC/ DC (qv) man equipped with a one pin plug at the front but also having the benefit of a fully functioning single pin socket at the back

drip tray n. The often crusty sump in a pair of knickers.

drive the porcelain bus v. A kneel-down visit to the lavatory during which one holds the rim (like a steering wheel) and does some psychedelic yodelling (qv). Compare ride the porcelain bus.

 

[MathGirl]

The Dreadful Ds

drop anchor in bum bay v. To arrive at the rear admiral’s (qv) favourite port of call.

drop a pebble v. To erroneously emit a small body of faeces whilst attempting to break wind. See also follow through.

dry docked adj. Lack of lubrication situation where a low tide of love juices (qv) prevents the skin boat (qv) sailing into tuna town (qv).

Dutch oven n. Beneath the bedclothes after someone has played ‘Reveille’ on the botty bugle. Sub-duvet crepitation (qv)

dyke n. Lesbian; tuppence licker; carpet muncher; a woman on the other bus. Woman in comfortable shoes. See also diesel dyke, bull-dyke

Next: The Egregious Es
MG

 

[Quasimodem]

crepitate v. Posh word for fart . . . Thank God the Cs are finished!

You still haven't explained the relationship between the word "crepitate" and the word "decrepitate."

 

[MathGirl]

You still haven't explained the relationship between the word "crepitate" and the word "decrepitate."

Dear Quaz,
If one looks at the Latin derivation of the words, it is obvious. Decrepitate is from two Latin words: Decre; to suck, and Pitatus; wind.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

Monday Pee Emm Offering

Eccles snake n. A penis with warts.

Edward Woodward onomatopoeia A fart in a bath.

feague v. The equestrian tradition of shoving a stick of ginger up a horse’s arse for reasons best known to those who do it.

feather spitter n. Pillow biter (qv) who has bitten the pillow too hard or too often

MG
Ps. Some of these seem to be excessively English, but what about the English isn't?

 

[MathGirl]

More, More!

felch v. 1. Californian craze of training a hamster or similar animal to jump through a ring (qv) on command. 2. Any other real or imagined homosexual practice, such as playing pass the chocolate log.

Feltchmeister n. One who felches; faux German term of formal address for a rear admiral (qv). As in “Ah, Feltchmeister Bottenhagen. Vee ver expeck-tink you"

fish mitten n. Hairy pie; captain’s pie; haddock pastie. Friday supper alternative to vertical bacon sandwiches.

fist rape n. Taking advantage of one's fist after inviting it back to one's place for a drink and a flick through a dirty magazine. See also glaze a knuckle.

 

[peechka]

I want to know...

WHY WHY WHY am I not getting these words in my subscription to Dictionary.com's Word of the Day?

*pouts*

 

[MathGirl]

five against one n. A very one sided but none-the-less enjoyable game of wrestling in which Madame Palm and her five sisters (qv) attempt to strangle Kojak (qv). The game ends when you make the bald man cry (qv).

flatulence n. Wind; the whole business of farting. From the Latin flatus meaning ‘smelly solo’ and lentus meaning ‘trouser trumpet’

follow through v. To accidentally soil ones underpants whilst attempting to fart; create russet gusset (qv): drop a pebble (qv).

French n. Popular coital position whereby the man sits astride a bicycle selling onions while the woman perches on the handle bars and inflates his testicles.

furry mongoose n. Bushy animal that eats snakes

Coming tomorrow: The Grungy Gs
MG

 

[MathGirl]

Gimme a Geeeee!

gazungas See Gert Stonkers.

glory wipe n. The token arse wipe required after passing one of those rare but pleasant stools which slip out clean as a whistle leaving hardly a trace of Eartha Kitt (qv) on or around the balloon knot (qv). Compare ghost shit, crowd pleaser

gadzooks! exclam. Corruption of ‘God’s hooks’ (a reference to nails used in the crucifixion). Once a high ranking swear word, but now safe to use, even in front of the vicar.

galloping knob rot n. VD; any painful social disease resulting in the production of gleet (qv) and the pissing of metaphoric tin tacks.

galloping the lizard v. Frenzied use of the wanking spanners (qv) to take the pant piston into sixth gear (qv). Also galloping the maggot.

garlogies n. Knob cheese (qv). Smegma. See also Helmetdale

 

[MathGirl]

Special edition - Just for Perdita

gay adj. Limp of wrist; tending to ask others to shut doors; critical of the “dust in here”. Light in the loafers.

gentleman’s relish n. A polite term for jizz (qv), such as what might be used by society folk at a tea party.

get wood v. The opposite of getting loose sausage meat (qv) or brewer's droop.

ghost shit n. Stool or dump of which there is no trace when you stand up and turn round to admire it. Compare crowd pleaser.

gimp n. Physically inferior person; he or she of low esteem; cross between a wimp and a git, sort of thing.

give Ronaldo a rub down v. Celebrity slaphead wanking terminology. See also Strangle Kojak, take Captain Pickard to warp speed
MG
Ps. Don't miss the next edition. It features terms such as "gleet" and "goit."

 

[MathGirl]

Gee whiz!

gleet n. Unpleasant mucropurelent discharge caused by gonorrhoea.

glory hole n. US Of cottage (qv) plumbing, that hole made by bosching (qv), through which fudge packing pipes may be passed.

glory wipe n. The token arse wipe required after passing one of those rare but pleasant stools which slip out clean as a whistle leaving hardly a trace of Eartha Kitt (qv) on or around the balloon knot (qv). Compare ghost shit, crowd pleaser.

going down An expression often used to describe the imminent movement of a lift/elevator.

goit n. Geek; gork; gink; gonk. Another versatile ‘g’ insult.

golden shower n. A vile sex act; unfortunate mix-up in a crowded German bathroom. See also water sports.

golden rivet n. HMF Navy Freckle; the apple of the captain’s (qv) eye for sailors who polish the other end of the deck.

gonk n. In rub-a-tug shops (qv) a customer; trick; John; a punter.

Have a nice day,
MG

 

[MathGirl]

Evening edition:

goolies n. The colloquialism for testicles least likely to offend a grandparent or the vicar.

gorilla salad n. Pubic hair. Compare gibbon gristle.

grape smugglers n. Tight gentlemen’s briefs, as worn by porno stars in the 1970s.

Greek n. The French (qv) suck it, the Dutch (qv) make a sausage sandwich (qv) with it, but the Greek supposedly prefer to dip it in chocolate sauce.

Greek sauna See Dutch oven. A sub-duvet air buscuit (qv)

grime bubble n. Fart; air biscuit.

gristle thistle n. Persistent purple headed weed commonly occurring in moss cottage (qv) gardens.

groaner n. A turd so big that it cannot be expelled without vocal assistance. See also ‘U’ blocker.

grogan n. Scot. A log; turd.

 

[MathGirl]

Friday morning delight

growl at the badger v. To noisily scoff the hairy pie (qv).

guard’s van n. Of pulling a train (qv), the least desirable position in the queue. As in: “Bagsy I’m not in the guard’s van fellas”. The last gang bangister on the bike. The caboose.

guff cloud n. The noxious vapour produced by guffing.

guided muscle n. Penis. See also meat seeking pissile.

gurgler n. Toilet; shite pipe; drain. As in “Have you got a coat hanger? I was spewin’ up last night an’ I coughed me fuckin’ dentures down the gurgler”.

Florida n. Oddly shaped state where playoff games are played.

Baseballistically,
MG

 

[OldnotDead]

Re: Friday morning delight

Florida n. Oddly shaped state where playoff games are played.

Baseballistically,
MG

Florida n. [rev ED.] Oddly shaped state, originally designed only for Spring Baseball, where playoff games have been accidentally played due to the Divine Distraction of having to pay attention to Cubs in September. (see also def: "Once in Blue Decade")

OnD

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Friday morning delight

Divine Distraction of having to pay attention to Cubs in September.

Dear OnD,
I'd love to see the Cubs do well. Not at the G's expense, of course. Anyone but Atlanta, though. Dusty Baker is a nice man. I babysat for his kids a few times in Sacramento.
MG
Ps. Mr Baker's kids are total brats.

 

[Seattle Zack]

Wasn't that the kid that nearly got clobbered at home plate in the World Series last year if Jeff kent hadn't scooped him out of harm's way?

 

[MathGirl]

Brats

Wasn't that the kid that nearly got clobbered at home plate in the World Series last year if Jeff kent hadn't scooped him out of harm's way?

Yes; Darren. It was J.T.Snow.

gusset typist n. A woman who wanks. Wankette. Also gusset
pianist. As in “I’ve heard she plays the gusset piano”.

gusset nuzzler n. Fanny nosher; lesbian.

gusset sugar n. A more romantic euphemism than muffdruff (qv) but essentially the same thing.

half leapfrog v. To have sex in the doggies (qv) position.

hamburger n. Of the female anatomy, that which can be seen in a
hamburger shot (qv).

hamburger shot n. A rear view in a pornographic magazine from which the curtain drop (qv) can be estimated.

hammock n. Panty liner; jam rag; sanitary towel. Compare banana hammock, nork hammock.

hand job n. Manual relief; one of the cheaper services available at the rub-a-tug shop (qv), or in the pub car park. Compare topless relief.

harlot n. Checkout girl at the rub-a-tug shop (qv)

 

[A7inchPhildo]

"Ok','Ok", this is what I have so far;
A greek story with two Greek lovers male, meet two French female lovers in the dark. One of whom have a real "crowd pleaser" the lights come on and the "ghost shit" is just not evident to the others. So there is no reason to use an extra "hammock" to clean up with a useless "glory wipe".

I hope to God there is not a test at the 'end' or is that "Chocolate eye" damn it. I am confused can we start over MG? I am still confused on the "Air biscuit" question.

And who is going to want to edit this shity little story?


Ashamed to "RAISE" my hand to ask a question, others might laugh at me.

Phildo

 

[Seattle Zack]

I agree. At first she was just doling them out, now I can't even fill up my personal Word.dict quick enough. I'm really unclear on the distinction between a Dutch Oven and a Greek Sauna, and I'm still not sure if one can dry dock a gristle thistle gusset nuzzler. Is a cable-laying bowl howl, by definition, a crowd pleaser, or is there some other criteria involved?

Will this be on the midterm?

--Z

 

[MathGirl]

Save those questions.........

Please note: Words and phrases beginning with "hair" have been omitted. (E.g. hair job, hairy lasso, hairy Loretta, etc.). This is done to maintain decorum, good taste, and to avoid offending readers with delicate sensibilities.

head n. Something which is given by women to men, and is afterwards described as “good” by the recipient when talking to friends.

heave v. To vomit; launch a pavement pizza (qv); release a loud technicolour yawn (qv).

heave a Havana v. Grow a tail; take a dump. See also bum cigar.
hee 1. n. Thai Minge; hairy cheque book. 2. interj. One of a series of noises made by laughing gnomes/policemen.

helicopters, attack of the n. Drunken rolling of the head; sudden reminder that you need to make an urgent call on the great white telephone. See talking to Ralph on the great white telephone.

Helmetdale n. A strong smelling, mature knob cheese (qv).

helmet pelmet n. Foreskin; Kojak’s turtleneck sweater.

Hershey highway n. US equivalent of Bourneville boulevard, Cadbury alley.

Hershey highwayman n. Gentleman thief who shoots rusty sheriff’s badges (qv) with his mutton musket (qv).

hide the salami n. A bed-time game for two players, one sausage and a hairy pie (qv). Also sink the salami, bury the bratwurst.

N.B.
1. Since less than half the lexicon has been posted, stories using the words should not be attempted as yet. Readers should practice using newly learned words in a sentence.
2. No explanations or elucidations will be offered until the entire dictionary has been posted. There will be a question and answer session at that time.
3. There will be no final exam, but a competition for the best two paragraph story using at least twenty of the new words will be held.

 

[OldnotDead]

Enjoying your daffynitions, MG

OnD

Only 3 more outs!