Welcome to the dark side....

[shy slave]

Hi shelleb4

I have two children so I understand you would not want an additional person to look after.

Thats one of the reasons I enjoy being a sub/slave/bottom. It means that for that point in time i am NOT responsible for anything. It gives me freedom (expressed well in Laras by-line)

To me the beauty of BDSM is that its not 'one size fits all' so whilst at the moment it may be 'best fit' that may change when you find what your looking for.

Your last line is sad. I hope you mean you hope to find an experienced BDSM partner one day. As this life can last a long time.

It does get easier when they children get older, as you have more time and freedom. The downside is they ask too much (can I borrow your whip?).

I hope you find whats right for you sooner rather than later

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Why would you be going back to "old ways?" Don't you have limits in your life... boundaries?

And I certainly don't view my life as the walking dead.... whatever that means in reference to my post.

What shy said.

"Thought PS was referring to how HER old ways made HER feel like the walking dead.

How on earth could she know how it feels for you?"

In my house, if I went with the flow, it would mean going back to how things were before. I don't understand your question about limits. It's up to me to figure something out because if I don't, things will go back to how they were for me. I didn't even realize how much I was missing, until those parts of me, briefly, came back alive.

 

[Mortar Forker]

. My favorite is when he's right over me so I can't control how deep and how long he's there, and it's hard for me to breathe, so that I gasp for breath between thrusts.

You certainly know how to capture the excitement ...LOL

I' m discovering a new side of my personality I didn't think existed. Recently, I've have been attracted to reading BDSM stories. I never wanted to before and I don't know why I like it now. I never would have guessed it but I'm developing something of a D or S mentality. I got very excited reading some stories about subjecting cute, submissive females to different forms of punishment. The detailed desctiptions of the expressions on their faces when forced to endure pain or experience humiliation does cause my dick to swell.

I recently brought home a BDSM tape for my girlfriend and I to watch and she was quite pleasantly surprised at my very positive reaction when the girl in the movie was punished for flirting with some other guy. The girl was certainly given a tour of the "dark side" and my dick gave away my excitement at the split screen of her facial expressions when being publically humiliated and later enduring the whip in front of an appreciative audience...LOL

Previous to this change in direction, my gf would only fully submit if I restrained her with velcro wrist and ankle cuffs.

With the restraints, unable to stop me, she submits fully and is always eager to please. Just as you described above, she gets very excited when I straddle her and thrust deep into her throat and hold my stiff erection there not letting her breathe. Frankly, I love the feeling of her tight throat spasming around my erection. Hearing her choke excites me even more and she knows it!

I don't know what it all means but she and I are finding much greater expression of our personal psyches, she for the submissive and me for the dominant perhaps a bit sadistic side.

 

[Mortar Forker]

Worship ......The Master informs and demonstrates to you that your entire purpose of existance is to serve them in X fashion...In my case, it usually involves oral & anal service......Your mouth was made to please your Master's cock, and all other functions are incidental. You can breath through your nose, so your mouth isn't neccesary for that. You need to eat, but only to survive to serve the cock....B]

WOW....You are a wonderful submissive! I'm going to have my girlfriend read this...LOL!!

Considering this, do you find that concepts can serve as well or better than specific fantasies? I often fantasize about my Master doing various things to me, but that it's not the act but the underlying psychological concept that really turns my gears. Like the worship thing above. Giving head is giving head, (or having it forced upon you,) but if you add the intent of that concept, even if he doesn't say so aloud, it triples the hotness factor...(There I go- gettin' wet at the thoughts!)

This is what I'm beginning to believe, it's the mental image for my girlfriend too. The anticipation of the event that turns her on even more. If I tell her what I'm going to do to her in advance, she gets dripping wet. I like seeing the look on her face when I tell her I'm going to restrain her, lay her on her back, hold her head between my legs and fuck her throat as hard and long as I want. Now, I give her some time to think about it before I do it. It works great! Her fantasizing about what I'm going to do to her gets her totally turned on and eager to play...LOL

 

[Phoenix Stone]

This is what I'm beginning to believe, it's the mental image for my girlfriend too. The anticipation of the event that turns her on even more. If I tell her what I'm going to do to her in advance, she gets dripping wet. I like seeing the look on her face when I tell her I'm going to restrain her, lay her on her back, hold her head between my legs and fuck her throat as hard and long as I want. Now, I give her some time to think about it before I do it. It works great! Her fantasizing about what I'm going to do to her gets her totally turned on and eager to play...LOL

Uh huh. yes.

The anticipation makes the event so much more powerful. Any ideas for how to work keeping the anticipation for the subby going without the top having to think about it? My dh Hates to anticipate. Doesn't even want to think about it until he's in the position to act. And then would rather act taking me by surprise, or secretly. Just doing what he wants to me silently.

Unfortunately, while it gets me hot to think about that, he doesn't like to hint or threaten or anything during the day, and I'm a major anticipation craver. Trying to think of some way to make this work for both of us. hmmm.

 

[Mortar Forker]

Uh huh. yes.

The anticipation makes the event so much more powerful. Any ideas for how to work keeping the anticipation for the subby going without the top having to think about it?

Unfortunately, while it gets me hot to think about that, he doesn't like to hint or threaten or anything during the day, and I'm a major anticipation craver

It'll be difficult to raise his level of consciousness to what you REALLY want him to do to you. You might try getting a Penthouse mag and reading some of the juicy BDSM stories and tell him how hot they make you. OR....you might just tell him what you want.

I know it took me some time to realize what the girlfriends were trying to tell me. In my defense, however, I did spank a couple of them. One, named Jan, used to aggravate me to the point where one day I turned her naked body over my naked knees and I thrashed her ass with my hand. As she wriggled around on my lap, I got a hardon and the more she struggled and fought me, the more aroused I got rubbing my hardon on her soft girl tummy. I wanted her to keep fighting me because it felt so good so I kept swatting her ass....LOL

Finally, I came all over her stomach in a flurry of harder swats. I loved it but she was steaming pissed...LOL She got up and yelled "you bastard...you enjoyed that...look at your cum on me...you got off spanking me"....YEAH!! I DID!

Later on, she would deliberately piss me off (after we got naked) and would say: "what are you going to do now...spank me again?"....and I would... that's how she got spanked without my really understanding her needs.

After that, she got swatted often and hard because I found I enjoyed the power. That was when I started making her do nasty sexual things to excite me...she would fight me the first time around but the next time I wanted it....she did it without an argument. She used to tell her girlfriend what I made her do for me....she loved it....and so did her girlfriend.

The pic is of a different type of swat. I get hard everytime I look at it. I've done it with my hand but someday, I want to try it out with a riding crop!

You can see she's already taken a couple of licks across the butt and now it's time for the "kitty". I'll bet THAT teaches her the meaning of "respect".....LOL

 

[flaming]

Looking into yourself.

I joined to post an RP here on a dare, lame I know but it was the reason. Only my friend didn't follow through. A few PM's later I had a partner whom I'd never had contact with before.

Quite frankly the first few posts were enlightning, the next ones frightened me. I almost left, but instead I began to realize they showed me things I had at times wondered about, but in real life even if I'd wanted to go in that direction would not be able to. And things I'd never even considered let alone knew existed.

I'd always wondered at how another could ever dominate someone, why anyone would want that, why I would want that.

I'd not even understood the basis of the RP my friend thought up and based on how it went having a very different partner, I think my orginal friend understood the concept of it even less.

We humans are very geared (?) to feelings in my opinion and some of those feelings can come from pretty dark place. True rape has no appeal to me, but the total lack of having a say in how I bring pleasure to someone who in a sense own me if a fantasy I'd not knowen I had and one that can only be realized here on the net.

I've also found out that RP's like those done in a thread do not have the impact of the same thing expressed one on one in a chat setting. I guess its because its more spontainous and less thought out.

Wish I'd found this thread before I'd tryed to explain this in a pm to someone. I've bordered on conflicting feelings of sociaties wrongness in looking deeper than the accepted sexual practices.

I do want to explore deeper, I know that much.

Flaming
(I hate that name but at the time couldn't think of anything better that started with the same letter as my normal net name)

 

[InnerDarkness]

where to begin

This thread had my mind going in so many different directions that now I really don't know where to begin.

For me...I want to be a bad girl. Period. That's it.

I was always the good girl growing up. I got good grades, had a good work ethic, had a boyfriends, successful in college, yada yada yada...normal sex boring, boring, boring...on and on...

now I just want to be bad. Part of it is that I want to FEEL bad...I mentioned emtional pain in another thread here recently, and I think this is all tied together.

I want to do "dirty" things, I want to be told I am "bad" and I want to FEEL bad.

My limits are pretty conservative compared to the experiences of many here, but I just know that this is something I have always wanted...

another word that comes to mind....forbidden...