What do you struggle most with about your position?

[Babyslave]

Oh yes, This exactly

Deleted

 

[Cattypuss]

Being deeply in love with (and monogamous with) a man whose sex-drive is matched to mine (i.e. bloody high), who is my dearest friend, who is my staunchest supporter and who is the one person I crave when I'm happy or sad, content or stressed, bored or enthusiastic..... but who has not got one dominant bone in his body. He has every perversion and kink going (including sado-masochism), except for dominance.

About 97.5% of the time it doesn't matter. But just sometimes... boy, can the craving hit me hard.

 

[hislilsub]

definately not shutting down when He pushes issues that i am not ready to open up about... i have been thru alot thru the years that bring nightmares and daymares when certain subjects/issues are approached. He is aware they exist just not to what extent. i am unsure of how to go about opening up to someone i love enough to give my all and serve as it was someone i trusted and luved in the first place that set these nightmares into motion.

 

[Plasmaball]

Finding someone with my kinks.

 

[lovebound]

Being deeply in love with (and monogamous with) a man whose sex-drive is matched to mine (i.e. bloody high), who is my dearest friend, who is my staunchest supporter and who is the one person I crave when I'm happy or sad, content or stressed, bored or enthusiastic..... but who has not got one dominant bone in his body. He has every perversion and kink going (including sado-masochism), except for dominance.

About 97.5% of the time it doesn't matter. But just sometimes... boy, can the craving hit me hard.

I feel you there

 

[justnoldfriend]

Sex in our relationship become kind of taboo. I don't remember the last time we done something sexual, including being even touched sexualy. I find it really hard to coppe with and depressing too. I am still not sure what to do about it, but I definitely don't like being in this position and feel the way it makes me feel...

 

[DaddysFuckSlut69]

My biggest struggle would be my Independent Personality. Before my Master, or should I say, Daddy, I always did what I want, when I wanted without asking because I had a job, able to support myself and no one to tell me NO, or me having to explain myself.


With him, I have no choice but to ASK instead of telling. Due to this being my first experience in the M/Sub area, he is VERY patient with me, so I appreciate that. But patience is wearing thin.

The most hardest thing I guess to sum it all up would be altering the way you live in an everyday reality basis to how you act in a M/Sub relationship.

I'm not very good at explaining things really, sorry if this sounds all jumbled up.

 

[XsnowbunnyX]

My biggest struggle is accepting that my family and 'nilla friends will probably continue to think that I'm a zombie in an abusive relationship, no matter what I do to show them otherwise.

 

[Kurokami]

My biggest struggle, generally, is just keeping up with my partner. She's... well, I don't want to say she's a maniac, but...

I love her dearly, she's the only one for me, but most of the time I feel like she's racing ahead and I'm just tagging along for the ride. Now, when I'm subbing, that's fine and actually really fun, letting her just go nuts with whatever weird thing she wants to try. That's sort of the point.

But when I'm dominant, when those gears have shifted, no matter what I do I can tell that she knows exactly how to pull my strings. She can have me ease up, push harder, whatever, basically with a single look. She's a master manipulator; not all the time, there can be whole weeks where she just goes with my flow, but it's still there. In the back of my mind, I know what she's capable of doing with a glance.

It's part of the reason I love her, really, and most of the time it's a non-issue anyway because we both enjoy the experience. But it's still the most prevalent concern in my mind; even when I have control, she can take it back whenever she wants to, damn her

 

[CurvAppeal]

My biggest downfall is my lack of patience. I want it now and if I don't get it right then I get very impatient. I am very demanding in real life situations so it is hard to bring me back to obeying orders in the D/s relationship.

Curvie ​

 

[ImOnIt]

My biggest downfall is my lack of patience. I want it now and if I don't get it right then I get very impatient. I am very demanding in real life situations so it is hard to bring me back to obeying orders in the D/s relationship.

Curvie ​

Gentle Reader

Would you kindly put that flower in your signature instead of ten lines down the page? Even better, remove it. Your name appears by every post.

Warmest Regards
ImOnIt

 

[CurvAppeal]

Gentle Reader

Would you kindly put that flower in your signature instead of ten lines down the page? Even better, remove it. Your name appears by every post.

Warmest Regards
ImOnIt

lol guess I overshot the enter button haha. Willdo ImOnIt, thank you!

 

[Lilac_Sky]

Hmmmm, i struggle the most with not becoming a sarcastic brat. Generally, i am not sammie, but Mistress lets me tease and be playful and sometimes i either contine teasing when the time has passed, or get overly sarcastic and come close to being disrepectful.

 

[PublicAffection]

My biggest struggle is him wanting to do things regularly that I would only have ever done on a whim if it were up to me. He wants his kinks so frequently that I feel like there's no room for me to be spontaneous and come up with something on my own, and on the off chance that I am the one feeling up to coming up with a scenario he immediately has expectations of how it should all play out because he thinks about it all the time.

I love him dearly, but he is the only sexual partner I've ever had who makes me feel like I'm not the driving force in the bedroom and that digs into my sexual self-worth pretty deep.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Oh and turning of my work "personality". I need to be very dominant sometimes at work with customers so it can be difficult to put myself back into sub mode.

I missed this one the first time around.

I used to have a lot of trouble with this myself, so he laid down the rules. When he picked me up from work, I could talk about work crap as much as I liked on the drive home, but when we got through the front door, I was to forget about it, and go have a shower, and get myself ready for him.

He didn't mind if it took me a half hour, he'd chill out with the puter or the tv, and I'd be happily fluffing around in the bathroom, primping and preening, and I'd forget all my angst and drama and shit, and my tummy would start to flutter in that excited/anxious way it does when I see him, and I'd mellow out.

Worked every time.

Even now, when I'm at home, and I'm getting ready before he comes over, I go through the same feelings. It's like everything else goes away, and I'm focusing on the moment.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

My biggest struggle is him wanting to do things regularly that I would only have ever done on a whim if it were up to me. He wants his kinks so frequently that I feel like there's no room for me to be spontaneous and come up with something on my own, and on the off chance that I am the one feeling up to coming up with a scenario he immediately has expectations of how it should all play out because he thinks about it all the time.

I love him dearly, but he is the only sexual partner I've ever had who makes me feel like I'm not the driving force in the bedroom and that digs into my sexual self-worth pretty deep.

Mmmm, it's near impossible for me to plan a surprise for Mr, because when I start thinking about something, within about a week, he's had the same idea. It drives me nutso, but I also love that we're so in tune.

When you say he makes you feel like you're not the driving force, are you comparing yourself to his kinks? As in, you feel like his kinks are the driving force? Is that's what's giving your self worth a kicking?

 

[xhardchick]

The hardest part for me is teasing.. It can drive me crazy but in the end it offers me the most extraordinary orgasms.

 

[PublicAffection]

When you say he makes you feel like you're not the driving force, are you comparing yourself to his kinks? As in, you feel like his kinks are the driving force? Is that's what's giving your self worth a kicking?

That is an excellent question, and one I had to think about for a minute. I suppose that I do that without being aware of it. With others, I always felt like I was enough sensually (and sometimes overkill because of my sexual appetite - poor guys), and naturally dominating because my personal demand was so strong. But with him, what he wants/needs is so much MORE than what I would do naturally that I feel way out of my element and feel like I'm expected to "perform".

Rather than feeling like a sensual beast on the prowl, I feel more like a marionette.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

That is an excellent question, and one I had to think about for a minute. I suppose that I do that without being aware of it. With others, I always felt like I was enough sensually (and sometimes overkill because of my sexual appetite - poor guys), and naturally dominating because my personal demand was so strong. But with him, what he wants/needs is so much MORE than what I would do naturally that I feel way out of my element and feel like I'm expected to "perform".

Rather than feeling like a sensual beast on the prowl, I feel more like a marionette.

Ahhh, I was just curious, because that was the only way I could understand not being a driving force making you doubt your self worth. But then, I also know that my own perspective tends to colour my thinking on those sorts of things.

That's why I ask.

I wonder, if you looked at it differently, if you thought about how he wants to do all these things with *you*, if that wouldn't lift your self worth?

I think, comparing sex drives is a bit like comparing apples and oranges sometimes, especially in D/s based relationships, because the drives for sex come from different places. I know Mr has a high sex drive, and I do too, but not for the sake of sex, but for the sake of pleasing him, and yes, enjoying all the other sensations as well.

Feeling like a puppet shouldn't make you feel like you're less than you once were though. It's not less, just different.

 

[yellow_zinnia]

The thing I struggle the most with, is the fear of Master finding another sub that he likes better than me.

 

[PublicAffection]

Feeling like a puppet shouldn't make you feel like you're less than you once were though. It's not less, just different.

Very wise.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Very wise.

But then, only you can define your self worth.

I know the puppet feeling. Sometimes I *really* do just feel like a warm body for him to vent some frustrations and things on. But then, I dig that, being able to be that for him.

And then he cuddles me and tells me how much he loves me and we come back to normal.

 

[neci]

lack of control
not on a daily basis
but more as a fabric
made up by things
i did not make
but assumed
woven through with fragile thread
tightly gently bound
up which the rest is laid
and made

 

[smart_and_sexytxgirl]

That I don't have one. I've become addicted to the idea of a BDSM lifestyle, but I don't know a single man who is interested in it that I would trust.

I feel like a slice of me is missing.

Is this normal?

Am I crazy?

Is this just something I think I want and need?

Or is it really????