What is a fake Dominant?

[FungiUg]

I call myself a dominant, but I am into the mind games of power and control. So I guess the label kinda fits.

 

[bholderman]

hehehehe, Homburg's right, never claimed to be one.

And Im not. I just like you people.

Dom!

 

[FungiUg]

And Im not. I just like you people.

Well, that makes you just plain weird then.

No, you're absolutely right. If you don't identify with a label, why should you wear it? They're just there for our own convenience after all.

Me, I'm starting to feel like a minority because I do identify with the label. So maybe I'm the one who's plain weird?

Yeah. That's me.

 

[Homburg]

Me, I'm starting to feel like a minority because I do identify with the label. So maybe I'm the one who's plain weird?

Yeah. That's me.

Ew, look, it's a Dom...

 

[Kajira Callista]

Ew, look, it's a Dom...

lmao lolol

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well, that makes you just plain weird then.

No, you're absolutely right. If you don't identify with a label, why should you wear it? They're just there for our own convenience after all.

Me, I'm starting to feel like a minority because I do identify with the label. So maybe I'm the one who's plain weird?

Yeah. That's me.

LOL, well I see so many of these discussions come around to an attack on the use of labels, claims a label limits someone and somehow makes it difficult if they find they change or extend themselves into other areas it puzzles me why the label is the problem. The way I see it, if someone feels committing or admitting to fitting a lable, no matter how loosly, might impact on their freedom to be fluid and change, they are the one with a problem, not the label itself...after all it is only a word.

Likewise, how the heck do some people find like minded individuals through a personals ad if they feel they cannot apply a label to themselves or the type person they seek in the interests of letting people have some idea whether they might be interested or not? I have far more pressing issues in life to get my knickers (well imaginary knickers as I don;t wear them) in a knot about to be worried about avoiding labels like the plague....not to mention everyone has more than one label, and usually have no problem owning them (eg. mother; partner; woman; man; IT tech; plumber; mechanic; spouse; lover etc.,...all labels), so why this freak out over so called labels within BDSM and kink?!!

Catalina

 

[FungiUg]

The way I see it, if someone feels committing or admitting to fitting a lable, no matter how loosly, might impact on their freedom to be fluid and change, they are the one with a problem, not the label itself...after all it is only a word.

I think you are missing the power of the label (Luke): a label is more than just a word. It becomes a collective perceptive filter, even if the way in which it changes our collective filters varies somewhat from person to person.

If I say I am a dominant, then suddenly I am expected to have all of the attributes of a dominant that you expect. So my application of the label to myself can change your expectation. And if I measure up to my expectations, but not to yours, are you entitled to think of me as a "fake"? (Ooo, thought police!)

Likewise, how the heck do some people find like minded individuals through a personals ad if they feel they cannot apply a label to themselves or the type person they seek in the interests of letting people have some idea whether they might be interested or not?

Once again, the power of the label: an ability to create groups (or anti-groups) of people, and to attract those of similar or related natures, just by finding those people who have similar or related labels. In many cases, we can define the group by the label. So the wrong label can be disastrous.

When you think about it "logically", it may seem silly. But the recognition here is that this is how the human mind works. It creates associations or "patterns", so it can apply rules to patterns of similar things. So labels are both a curse and a blessing, but they are also a simple part of human nature. Best to work with the animal than against it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think you are missing the power of the label (Luke): a label is more than just a word.

LOL, no, I am just not one to be ruled by the crowd impulse or what people think, instead being more stodgy, boring and practical..down to earth so to speak. Power is something you can choose to allow people to impose on you, or resist...I have always been on the resistance side hence I never fell into the trap of peer pressure in terms of alcohol, drugs, smoking and some of life's other traps. In terms of what is expected when a label is applied, once again it doesn't bother me as I am who I am and for instance, as a slave, all that really matters is that I am a slave in the eyes of F, that I am as he wishes me to be...if someone thinks it is inappropriate for me to sleep in the same bed, be in charge of our finances etc., that is their problem, not ours.

Catalina

 

[bridgeburner]

I'm perfectly comfortable with my label:


Pervert


That's right next to the one that says "Hand Wash Only"

 

[JamieB]

I don't mind identifying as a Dominant. Every identifier means different things to different people. Male/female, straight/gay, ethnic labels, cultural labels, even careers and hobbies carry some label baggage (lawyer joke, anyone?).

People will look at you and draw conclusions no matter what you identify as.

J