What is love?

[cookiecat]

Seeing this thread is such a throwback. I miss Marquis.

More lofty thoughts way back when. Were there less picture threads because there was no tumblr??

I was a lurker back then but I enjoyed Rosco Rathbone, Marquis, RJMasters.

 

[Exescort]

Love can make you happier than you've ever been, sadder than you've ever been, angrier than you've ever been. It can elate you and deflate you almost at the same time.

 

[cookiecat]

I think there are two kinds of love involving partners: pussy (or dick) love and real love.

For my purposes, because I have a pussy, I'll call it pussy love. I've been in pussy love a lot. It's strong. Powerful. Crazy intense. Is it Eros? I don't think so. Partners can be passionate, have great sex, have real love. That's all tangled up together.

I'm talking about overlooking or excusing bad behavior because... pussy!! And maybe not even bad behavior. Maybe it's not being compatible or the rest of the relationship is boring.

Pussy love can be sustained for a time. Usually it crashes and burns quickly. But that feeling I get in my cunt, in my womb, in my tits, that rush that leads up to my head -- it has clouded my vision in the past. I had a 2 year relationship with someone who my pussy really really loved. I confused that with real love. He was such a jerk. I cringe thinking about how much asshole behavior I overlooked because my orgasms were soooooo amazing. I feel sad at how much I tried to change ME to fit HIM because my pussy was chasing him.

You can define real love in lots of ways. It's up to each of us to figure it out. It's the best when pussy and brain match up.

I think you can find real love with different people. There's not always one true love. I've had short relationships that fit me in that moment and I felt real love for that person.

I've been thinking a lot about this - true love. Real love. Unconditional love. For me, it feels peaceful. Content. That doesn't mean boring or no crazy sex! But it's satisfying. It adds to the real love relationship. Pussy love feels rollercoaster-ish. Full of drama. Chasing that pussy high. There's never enough. Once my pussy falls out of love, I'm was on to the next person, chasing the next orgasm.

For me, real love includes real life. The day to day stuff. Being happy I'm doing that day to day stuff with the person I choose to be with. Making a commitment and keeping my word. Doing the right thing, not the thing that makes my pussy happy. Doing the right thing isn't always easy. Sometimes it's fucking hard. But it's being honest, keeping my partner safe.

I keep writing about "my situation" with mr. cookie but this is getting too long, so I delete it.

It's 3 a.m. Probably time for bed. Enough rambling.

edited: I just re-read this. Does it sound like I'm talking myself out of cheating on mr. cookie? I hope not. I hope it sounds like I love mr. cookie very very much.

 

[KimGordon67]

Once upon a time my husband gave me a card that was attached to a present for something ... I can't even remember what the present was, but in the card he wrote "You make me a better person".
I don't know if that's a definition of love, but my heart pretty much bursts thinking about it.

 

[cookiecat]

Once upon a time my husband gave me a card that was attached to a present for something ... I can't even remember what the present was, but in the card he wrote "You make me a better person".
I don't know if that's a definition of love, but my heart pretty much bursts thinking about it.

 

[Farawyn]

When pussy love is also mind and heart love, then its Love.

I need all 3.
I've been in pussy love, a lot. A LOT lot.
My ex was a mind love. Until he changed. I guess I changed, too.
Now?
I have all 3. I'm extremely lucky.

 

[cascadiabound]

I think there are two kinds of love involving partners: pussy (or dick) love and real love.
[....]

edited: I just re-read this. Does it sound like I'm talking myself out of cheating on mr. cookie? I hope not. I hope it sounds like I love mr. cookie very very much.

It sounds like you love mr cookie with your whole heart.

 

[cookiecat]

It sounds like you love mr cookie with your whole heart.

Thanks. At 3 in the morning, I might've been thinking about other things.

 

[cascadiabound]

Thanks. At 3 in the morning, I might've been thinking about other things.

You are human. Forgive yourself.

 

[Ed27R]

I don't know why but I have been thinking about this thread a lot since I read the recent replies the other day. My addition, which feels very incomplete would be:

I think true love, romantic love, is an ever shifting sense of:

"I want you" (attraction and lust)
"I need you" (you have a special place in my mind and heart)
"You complete me" (that sense of things being right)
"You carry me" (that supportive i need help time)

And vice versa

"You want me"
"You need me"
"I complete you"
"I will carry you"


My experience is that you shuffle back and forth between all of these day in and day out. Sometimes you shuffle then all in one day. Sometimes you spend more time in one area than the others.

But love requires that you spend at least some meaningful time in these areas with your partner. I don't know what the magical mix is - that is probably unique to each couple - but you can't ignore any of these elements indefinitely. In those situations and relationships where you do - you tend to fall out of love (to put it mildly).

Just my thoughts.

 

[Farawyn]

I don't know why but I have been thinking about this thread a lot since I read the recent replies the other day. My addition, which feels very incomplete would be:

I think true love, romantic love, is an ever shifting sense of:

"I want you" (attraction and lust)
"I need you" (you have a special place in my mind and heart)
"You complete me" (that sense of things being right)
"You carry me" (that supportive i need help time)

And vice versa

"You want me"
"You need me"
"I complete you"
"I will carry you"


My experience is that you shuffle back and forth between all of these day in and day out. Sometimes you shuffle then all in one day. Sometimes you spend more time in one area than the others.

But love requires that you spend at least some meaningful time in these areas with your partner. I don't know what the magical mix is - that is probably unique to each couple - but you can't ignore any of these elements indefinitely. In those situations and relationships where you do - you tend to fall out of love (to put it mildly).

Just my thoughts.

Good thoughts, Ed.

 

[cookiecat]

I don't know why but I have been thinking about this thread a lot since I read the recent replies the other day. My addition, which feels very incomplete would be:

I think true love, romantic love, is an ever shifting sense of:

"I want you" (attraction and lust)
"I need you" (you have a special place in my mind and heart)
"You complete me" (that sense of things being right)
"You carry me" (that supportive i need help time)

And vice versa

"You want me"
"You need me"
"I complete you"
"I will carry you"


My experience is that you shuffle back and forth between all of these day in and day out. Sometimes you shuffle then all in one day. Sometimes you spend more time in one area than the others.

But love requires that you spend at least some meaningful time in these areas with your partner. I don't know what the magical mix is - that is probably unique to each couple - but you can't ignore any of these elements indefinitely. In those situations and relationships where you do - you tend to fall out of love (to put it mildly).

Just my thoughts.

I really like this. Especially the thought we need to have elements of all of them. I'm in the "I will carry you" stage. Without having a sense of the other three, this would just be an awful grind.

 

[Ed27R]

Good thoughts, Ed.

I really like this. Especially the thought we need to have elements of all of them. I'm in the "I will carry you" stage. Without having a sense of the other three, this would just be an awful grind.

Thank you. I occasional land on a good thought or two.

Cookie - that carry you stage is toughest! *hugs* [there is nothing I can really think to say]

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

Love can make you happier than you've ever been, sadder than you've ever been, angrier than you've ever been. It can elate you and deflate you almost at the same time.

When two people are in love it's never 100% perfect at all times. It's what you write and so much more that it's complicated. If you are truly in love, you can hate each other, kiss, and make up.
Sadly so many today won't admit they are wrong or be willing to make changes.
Rebound love, money love, needing a daddy for the kids love, is rarely true love and usually doesn't work.

Once upon a time my husband gave me a card that was attached to a present for something ... I can't even remember what the present was, but in the card he wrote "You make me a better person".
I don't know if that's a definition of love, but my heart pretty much bursts thinking about it.

It's the little things that keep love going and hate from taking control.

When pussy love is also mind and heart love, then its Love.

I need all 3.
I've been in pussy love, a lot. A LOT lot.
My ex was a mind love. Until he changed. I guess I changed, too.
Now?
I have all 3. I'm extremely lucky.

Sadly love and lovers can and do change. We all change as time passes. Even true love and lust can turn to boredom and hatred.
How is anyone supposed to know what true love feels like until they've lived both love and hate?
Young love is often foolish love. Most love begins as lust. After all it's physical attraction that brings two hearts and minds together. Sex is always on a young man and young woman's mind, even though they may not think it at the time.

Some say there is no such thing as love at first site. My wife swears for her it was love at first site.
For me it was simply one date that went on and on. Even after we married and she became pregnant, during those times Dollie constantly said "I love you", I had to be forced to return those words. I truly didn't feel the love.
It was after child birth when I was told Dollie was in a coma and would not live that I realized I really did love her!

Many years, three kids and an adopted son, grandchildren, sickness, loss of a job, retirement, and life, our love has actually grown. Nearly 59 years later I'm not sure if it's so much love or that we need each other more than ever. Still everyday she says "I love you" and chills go down my spine.
When we kiss good morning and goodnite I always say "I love you" now fearing tomorrow may never come. But when the last tomorrow arrives whoever is left will remember that last "I love you".

I have no idea what love is. I do know now we say it more to our closest friends, our kids, and our grandkids.
One thing that puts a smile on our faces is to hear the nearly three year old grand daughter hug, kiss, and tell us "I love you." What does she know? She hasn't even lived yet but seems to know love.

 

[Eva_Star]

Sadly love and lovers can and do change. We all change as time passes. Even true love and lust can turn to boredom and hatred.
How is anyone supposed to know what true love feels like until they've lived both love and hate?
Young love is often foolish love. Most love begins as lust. After all it's physical attraction that brings two hearts and minds together. Sex is always on a young man and young woman's mind, even though they may not think it at the time.

Some say there is no such thing as love at first site. My wife swears for her it was love at first site.
For me it was simply one date that went on and on. Even after we married and she became pregnant, during those times Dollie constantly said "I love you", I had to be forced to return those words. I truly didn't feel the love.
It was after child birth when I was told Dollie was in a coma and would not live that I realized I really did love her!

Many years, three kids and an adopted son, grandchildren, sickness, loss of a job, retirement, and life, our love has actually grown. Nearly 59 years later I'm not sure if it's so much love or that we need each other more than ever. Still everyday she says "I love you" and chills go down my spine.
When we kiss good morning and goodnite I always say "I love you" now fearing tomorrow may never come. But when the last tomorrow arrives whoever is left will remember that last "I love you".

I have no idea what love is. I do know now we say it more to our closest friends, our kids, and our grandkids.
One thing that puts a smile on our faces is to hear the nearly three year old grand daughter hug, kiss, and tell us "I love you." What does she know? She hasn't even lived yet but seems to know love.

This.

 

[gracie920101]

Thanks. At 3 in the morning, I might've been thinking about other things.

Don't we all at some time or another? There's a big difference between "thinking about other things" and acting on them.
I'm lucky enough to get everything rolled into one package but it took three tries with kissing a lot of toads and a LOT of heartache in between those three.
Now, I can't imagine anyone else holding my hand or patting my butt.

 

[cookiecat]

When two people are in love it's never 100% perfect at all times. It's what you write and so much more that it's complicated. If you are truly in love, you can hate each other, kiss, and make up.
Sadly so many today won't admit they are wrong or be willing to make changes.
Rebound love, money love, needing a daddy for the kids love, is rarely true love and usually doesn't work.

It's the little things that keep love going and hate from taking control.

Sadly love and lovers can and do change. We all change as time passes. Even true love and lust can turn to boredom and hatred.
How is anyone supposed to know what true love feels like until they've lived both love and hate?
Young love is often foolish love. Most love begins as lust. After all it's physical attraction that brings two hearts and minds together. Sex is always on a young man and young woman's mind, even though they may not think it at the time.

Some say there is no such thing as love at first site. My wife swears for her it was love at first site.
For me it was simply one date that went on and on. Even after we married and she became pregnant, during those times Dollie constantly said "I love you", I had to be forced to return those words. I truly didn't feel the love.
It was after child birth when I was told Dollie was in a coma and would not live that I realized I really did love her!

Many years, three kids and an adopted son, grandchildren, sickness, loss of a job, retirement, and life, our love has actually grown. Nearly 59 years later I'm not sure if it's so much love or that we need each other more than ever. Still everyday she says "I love you" and chills go down my spine.
When we kiss good morning and goodnite I always say "I love you" now fearing tomorrow may never come. But when the last tomorrow arrives whoever is left will remember that last "I love you".

I have no idea what love is. I do know now we say it more to our closest friends, our kids, and our grandkids.
One thing that puts a smile on our faces is to hear the nearly three year old grand daughter hug, kiss, and tell us "I love you." What does she know? She hasn't even lived yet but seems to know love.

59 years!

Today has been rough. This made my day much brighter. Thanks for sharing.

 

[cookiecat]

Don't we all at some time or another? There's a big difference between "thinking about other things" and acting on them.
I'm lucky enough to get everything rolled into one package but it took three tries with kissing a lot of toads and a LOT of heartache in between those three.
Now, I can't imagine anyone else holding my hand or patting my butt.

 

[Farawyn]

You know what I love?
When Denny waxes nostalgic.

 

[bbwpeach]

Dogs are love. Pure. Unconditional.

 

[gracie920101]

You know what I love?
When Denny waxes nostalgic.

 

[Eva_Star]

I don't know. I just do not know.

Is it those whispers with lips on ear? Airy promises, light as feathers, fragile as bubbles? The kind that make you close your eyes, almost wincing at the sweetness and the arrow that shoots through your heart? Those moments that settle into your subconscious and play on repeat, filling your soul?

Is that love? I do not know.

Is it the promises made and promises kept? The heaviest burdens we, as humans, can carry? Doing what we said we would do when vows were made so long ago with naivety of what those words could mean? Is it standing strong in another's weakness? Taking it all upon shoulders and backs?

Is that love? I do not know.

Is it pain? Is it comfort? Is it feelings at all?

I do not know. Probably never will.

 

[cookiecat]

I don't know. I just do not know.

Is it those whispers with lips on ear? Airy promises, light as feathers, fragile as bubbles? The kind that make you close your eyes, almost wincing at the sweetness and the arrow that shoots through your heart? Those moments that settle into your subconscious and play on repeat, filling your soul?

Is that love? I do not know.

Is it the promises made and promises kept? The heaviest burdens we, as humans, can carry? Doing what we said we would do when vows were made so long ago with naivety of what those words could mean? Is it standing strong in another's weakness? Taking it all upon shoulders and backs?

Is that love? I do not know.

Is it pain? Is it comfort? Is it feelings at all?

I do not know. Probably never will.

It is all of that. Not one or the other,. It has to be both. How amazing it would be if love (and life) was all sweet and light. Without the dark and sad/tough/confusing, the good stuff wouldn't be as good.

It can't all feel heavy, carrying the weight of trouble. That's soul crushing., not soul filling. But action - the promises kept, doing the right thing, getting through it in an honest way - that (for me) is the big, true love.

I think sometimes love is knowing when to let go. I've been thinking a lot about this, too. I vest so much into a relationship, it clouds my heart on knowing the best option is to let go.