What made you laugh your ass off today?

[Nightbird]

Ms. Jackson? I didn't know PTM was related to Micheal..

 

[pleasteasme]

Ms. Jackson? I didn't know PTM was related to Micheal..

distant relative.....

well, no. Not really

 

[PG13]

Ms. Jackson? I didn't know PTM was related to Micheal..

More like Dammit Janet than Michael. Similar wardrobes, or lack thereof...

 

[cymbline]

Someone at work sent me these...

 

[ewopper]

Okay. We have "What feeds your soul?" "Things that piss you off," and "How to make people laugh." I love these threads, particularly the first two, because I found them to be a great place to get my feet wet when I was a shy newbie undergoing the de-lurkification process.

Sometimes, though, I see/hear really funny things that I'd love to share with my fellow Litsters, but I'm never really sure where to post them (since "How to make people laugh" tends to be more of a joke thread). I know that there are similar threads in other forums, but I tend to camp out in HT Land, so I'm more comfortable posting here.

So, how about it? Did you see/hear anything today that just cracked you up (figuratively OR literally)? If so, tell us about it.

If any of you shy newbie/lurker types are out there trying to work up the nerve to post, feel free to jump right in. We won't bite. Well, not too hard, anyway.

nothing it's still attached to the rest of me

 

[ifitsfundoit]

Ahhhh....It's always nice to know I'm not the only geek left int he world. I can't count the number of time's I've told my wife something tech related that I thought was just hillarious and she's just stared at me, waiting for the punchline.

It happened again today. If only people understood. I'd have a winning sit-com on my hands

 

[TBKahuna123]

SO my wife and I head out to go to work and I was surprised she hadn't started the truck yet. Whoever gets up first starts the truck when it's cold. So I asked why she hadn't and she said it was really warm out so she didn't bother.

Really warm? It was 36 degrees! At this point I burst into an Ehtyl Murmann rendition of "We're Having a Heat Wave" and it all went down hill from there.

36!!! That's a definite sign she's lived in this damn part of the country too long!

 

[M's girl]

Someone at work sent me these...

.... Especially number 6!

 

[KarenDee]

Heard at the Thanksgiving table:

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together, keeps the inside moist
3. It’s cool whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, Ill burst!
5. That’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some more
10. Don't play with your meat!
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in!
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all those people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know its ready when it pops up
17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!
18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!
19. Man, what a juicy thigh!
20. We may have to use the back door!
21. Let me feel that and see if it’s done
22. Can I eat between periods?
23. Do you want the bone?
24. Wow, you really filled me up this time!

 

[bisexplicit]

Read this:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=387930

And then this:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=388005


Quite entertaining.

 

[M's girl]

Heard at the Thanksgiving table:

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together, keeps the inside moist
3. It’s cool whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, Ill burst!
5. That’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some more
10. Don't play with your meat!
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in!
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all those people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know its ready when it pops up
17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!
18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!
19. Man, what a juicy thigh!
20. We may have to use the back door!
21. Let me feel that and see if it’s done
22. Can I eat between periods?
23. Do you want the bone?
24. Wow, you really filled me up this time!

Oh lordie......

 

[pleasteasme]

Raking leaves in the wind.


Pretty damn funny...most of the leaves ended up across the street!

 

[Valley Lilly]

Michael Jackson.

 

[Eilan]

Because my husband and I have a (currently inactive) AdultFriendFinder couples account, I lurk (and occasionally post) there when HT's a bit slow. For those of you who might not be familiar with AFF's Magazine section, it's set up much like Lit's message boards, but messages generally aren't displayed as soon as they're written.

Anyway, last night I was laughing at this dude in the "Rants and Raves" section who said that people who correct his spelling and grammar are violating his free speech rights.

 

[midwestyankee]

Because my husband and I have a (currently inactive) AdultFriendFinder couples account, I lurk (and occasionally post) there when HT's a bit slow. For those of you who might not be familiar with AFF's Magazine section, it's set up much like Lit's message boards, but messages generally aren't displayed as soon as they're written.

Anyway, last night I was laughing at this dude in the "Rants and Raves" section who said that people who correct his spelling and grammar are violating his free speech rights.

People in the public eye, politicians in particular, prove over and over that one of our inalienable rights is that of proving our idiocy. This fellow is obviously following that tradition.

 

[midwestyankee]

From a friend who is a teacher:

Student (while holding a grade printout): These zeroes are for homework that was when I was out sick.

Teacher: So, have you made it up?

Student: Yes.

Teacher: Well, maybe you haven't turned it in yet.

Student: You mean I have to turn it in to you?

Teacher: (completely speechless due to an unwillingness to call the student a fucking idiot in front of the class)

 

[bobsgirl]

From a friend who is a teacher:

Student (while holding a grade printout): These zeroes are for homework that was when I was out sick.

Teacher: So, have you made it up?

Student: Yes.

Teacher: Well, maybe you haven't turned it in yet.

Student: You mean I have to turn it in to you?

Teacher: (completely speechless due to an unwillingness to call the student a fucking idiot in front of the class)

I'm speechless as well. The kids a great argument in favor of selective breeding.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm speechless as well. The kids a great argument in favor of selective breeding.

Too late now, but with some luck Darwin was right and this one won't make it to breeding time.

 

[midwestyankee]

Item number two: my son's car having been repaired, I drove it out to where he was working so that I wouldn't have to fetch him in the middle of the night. The dashboard lights weren't working so I asked him about them when I turned over the keys. He said that it didn't matter to him that he couldn't see the speedometer and if he absolutely feels that he needs to see the instrument panel at night, he opens up his cell phone and lets the light from the screen shine on the dash.

 

[Denae]

The following description underneath a photo in one of the listings that I'm looking at:

look at the rod iron bannister. [emphasis added]

 

[midwestyankee]

The following description underneath a photo in one of the listings that I'm looking at:

look at the rod iron bannister. [emphasis added]

So did this send you to that SF thread over in the Playground?

 

[cusprider]

To be young and gullable.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/buttrocket.html

I have not seem something this funny in a while.

 

[Guest]

 

[midwestyankee]

Just what a parent wants to hear. I give him credit for being honest though.

He has always been honest, just a little stupid in his behavior on occasion. However, we will be looking into replacing the dash lights muy pronto.

 

[Eilan]

Saw this on our local Burger King sign:

"Bring home a Whopper for the holidays"