What Makes You Good In Bed as a Submissive?

[Aeroil]

Submit your whole being (and ASS) to your job as a sub...."Let go, feel the force...." ...

hehehe, good advice, thanks.

 

[rbijon]

I'm a femdom, and I can tell you that it's awfully hard for a male sub to come up with qualities or characteristics he has that make him a better submissive or a better lover. It's a huge challenge. Most sub men are boring lovers, pure and simple.

They are great at taking orders, sure. But that's a crutch, not a quality. Many men are submissive because they fear making mistakes and don't want to take initiative sexually. Once again -- boring!

What makes a submissive mindblowing in bed is his ability to read his partner and proactively please without having to be given a list. He possesses the ability to use empathy to understand her buttons and read her reactions and know how to use this ability to please her both as a sub and as a lover.

He also must be able to do this "mindreading" trick while completely distracted by his suffering, humiliation or immobility. That's quite a tall order!

A submissive's role is not just to be a recipient of sensations and situations. If he wants to please his femdom partner, he also has to tune into what is making her tick; what's turning her on -- what's motivating her actions and what it is she's trying to accomplish for herself.

A woman who is dominant because she has a passion for it also has a goal. An itch she's trying to scratch. A desire that must be fed. Some male subs forget this completely. Fortunately, they can be taught.

Akasha

As a guy who serves a Mistress I feel I am very good at reading Her wishes. A small moan here, a movement there, I can and do read the desires of my Mistress. I know that when She present Her leg to me that I am to serve Her by licking and kissing Her toes to Her.... ....I know with a movement of Her eyes She want me to do and serve Her in certain ways.... We sub are not so boring as one would think, after all we do manage to get fucked by our Mistressess!... ..

 

[Aeroil]

............. We sub are not so boring as one would think, after all we do manage to get fucked by our Mistressess!... ..

hehehe, some of us maybe, some are still trying .

 

[Netzach]

I'm a femdom, and I can tell you that it's awfully hard for a male sub to come up with qualities or characteristics he has that make him a better submissive or a better lover. It's a huge challenge. Most sub men are boring lovers, pure and simple.

They are great at taking orders, sure. But that's a crutch, not a quality. Many men are submissive because they fear making mistakes and don't want to take initiative sexually. Once again -- boring!

What makes a submissive mindblowing in bed is his ability to read his partner and proactively please without having to be given a list. He possesses the ability to use empathy to understand her buttons and read her reactions and know how to use this ability to please her both as a sub and as a lover.

He also must be able to do this "mindreading" trick while completely distracted by his suffering, humiliation or immobility. That's quite a tall order!

A submissive's role is not just to be a recipient of sensations and situations. If he wants to please his femdom partner, he also has to tune into what is making her tick; what's turning her on -- what's motivating her actions and what it is she's trying to accomplish for herself.

A woman who is dominant because she has a passion for it also has a goal. An itch she's trying to scratch. A desire that must be fed. Some male subs forget this completely. Fortunately, they can be taught.

Akasha

I've either been very lucky or very good at overexplaining what I like, sexually, because I rarely run into this boredom problem, if and when I choose to enter a sexual relationship with a submissive male. (Not all submales I'm involved with are sexual contacts of mine, though when I think about it I've only enjoyed sex with male contacts I'd describe as fairly submissive. I don't find getting my way boring under any circumstances, I suppose, except maybe sometimes with other women, but I digress...)

I don't mind giving a list, explaining what I like where and when and how. I think the idea that discussion and explicitness kills spontanaeity is one of the great myths of vanilla sex that makes a lot of people miserable. I don't read minds and I don't expect anyone else to read mine.

Even armed with this information, my husband still manages to surprise and delight me and pays very close attention, all the while definitely leaving me as much in control as I prefer to be. I refuse to buy into the idea that a submale is less sexual or less sexually attractive than a Dominant one as this has never been the case in my eyes.

 

[bridgeburner]

More and more I think I'd make a lousy submissive however much of a bottom I am. Regardless of my personal desires I'm extremely empathetic and my primary style of communication is mirroring. For some people this makes me an ideal lover --- because I appear to be into whatever it is they want to whatever degree they want me to be. For others this makes me a lousy lover because they think I'm lying, hiding or just humoring them. It isn't that I don't have my own sexual agenda, but I'm not comfortable trotting it out for the day-trippers.


-B

 

[Quint]

Thus far, I would say that I'm almost devoid of jealousy--I'm very open to him playing with other submissives if he so desires. That seems to not be very common, although of course not unique.

Chiming in with the writer group, with one exception: in my spare time, I often find myself thinking "wow, wouldn't it be great if T did this and this and this?" because I love scripting shit like that. But then he does something that I never thought of and it makes it 10 times more exciting because it's like, I did my best and then he one-upped me. I LOVE that feeling!

Hmmm...something about me that's almost the opposite of grace 9 is that it's really hard to make me come without some cheap n easy method like holding a vibe on my clit for 15 minutes. I'm just not a very orgasmic person. This makes me a good submissive because T is usually more inclined to give me pain or simply take what he wants during sex, and there is never any conflict--"should I wait for her to come?" or anything like that. There's also no doubt in my mind of who I am doing this for--I'm not reaching fulfillment in my own body, so that leaves me free to concentrate on him. Yeah, that's me trying to make a silver lining out of it.

 

[rbijon]

What makes me a good sub? Eating M&Ms from between my Mistress toes!

 

[TaintedB]

What makes me a good sub? Eating M&Ms from between my Mistress toes!

LOL, that does sound like a pretty one-of-a-kind thing to do! But what about your poor hungry Mistress? Does she get any of the M&Ms?

 

[NovaDragon]

there is something that makes a sub different. but the things that they do that are alike are actually not. like say giving oral you can be sucking a cock or eaing a pussy and be very good at it but when someone else does it they can't repeat the exact way you do it. So in fact that makes you have a talent that no other has, and can't repeat so in my opinion that it's self makes you unique to ur Master/Mistress..

 

[rbijon]

LOL, that does sound like a pretty one-of-a-kind thing to do! But what about your poor hungry Mistress? Does she get any of the M&Ms?

Oh My Mistress gets plenty...the pleasure of me doing her feet and toes....all the while I am sucking and enjoying M&M on one foot She is kicking and smashing my balls and cock with Her other....Her pleasure is all mine...hehehehhheee

... ... ...I love doing Her feet and toes, Oh did I say I must oil them up first and kiss them. ..
We have other very good and sensual "one of a kinds "also. I serve well my Mistress!... ... ...

 

[Alt]

So let's hear it, you submits! What sets you apart from the standard submissive-slave crowd?

My instinct is to please.

 

[TaintedB]

My instinct is to please.

I'd hesitate to say that this is a unique trait, although believing it to be unique might be quite common among some submissives.

 

[rosco rathbone]

there is something that makes a sub different. but the things that they do that are alike are actually not. like say giving oral you can be sucking a cock or eaing a pussy and be very good at it but when someone else does it they can't repeat the exact way you do it. So in fact that makes you have a talent that no other has, and can't repeat so in my opinion that it's self makes you unique to ur Master/Mistress..

Submissives like to please. That is what makes them the high priestesses of oral worship.

 

[Netzach]

Actually I have to say that the best oral I've ever gotten has been not from people out to please me, per se, but by people who are really really really REALLY into giving oral. It's good when they are doing it for you, it's better when they are just really into doing it.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Actually I have to say that the best oral I've ever gotten has been not from people out to please me, per se, but by people who are really really really REALLY into giving oral. It's good when they are doing it for you, it's better when they are just really into doing it.

I've never encountered a case where B did not follow A; but I suppose that it might be too much to assume that they are casually linked.

 

[bridgeburner]

I've never encountered a case where B did not follow A; but I suppose that it might be too much to assume that they are casually linked.

I have to go with Netzach on this one although it might be a function of my own personality. Oral generally makes me uncomfortable because I feel like it's being done solely to please me -- rather than being something my partner really wants to indulge in. The two best I ever experienced were worlds apart in technique but similar in intent --- for one it was like I'd just told him he'd won the lottery. He was that thrilled about the chance to go down on me. The other was sloppy and crude (I swear he sounded like Mel Brooks - bluhbluhbluh it's good to be the King!) , but he was very aware of the fact that I was distinctly uncomfortable with what he was doing, wished he would stop and was about to die of mortification at any moment ---- all of which just served to increase his enjoyment and the perversity of that sent me right over the edge.



-B

 

[Netzach]

I've never encountered a case where B did not follow A; but I suppose that it might be too much to assume that they are casually linked.

You have never been blown by someone who is not merely a pleaser who wants to get you off, but a full blown cock-crazed nymphomaniacal blowjob queen? There is a subtle layer of extra going on there, but extra above and beyond it is.